SURVIVOR: HEROES VS HEALERS VS HUSTLERS – 10/25/17

My reality show mistress (Survivor) had to wait patiently at the Motel 6 while I attended to my spouse (Dodgers) while she played late into the night. But she’s gone now, and I’m at the Motel 6 ready to bang this out. I hope you’re okay with my affair…

And now, it’s time to crack open this infidelitous (that’s not a word) wh*re Survivor, and see what drama she’s about to unleash.

And if I’m speaking too negatively about our beloved Survivor, it’s only because they allowed lifeguard Ashley to tweet something today about tonight’s episode meaning SO MUCH to her, that I’m wondering if she’s in trouble. Or is some CBS Social Media Coordinator in trouble for allowing Ashley to tweet that? Can the players just STAY OFF social media while the show is airing? Can’t we just go back to the way it used to be? Who’s in favor of a media blackout while “in season?” Come on, guys, let’s start a petition!

Ahhhh, screw it…

Okay, late start tonight because of the … Continue reading

October 27th, 2017 | No Comments | Posted in Survivor 35 - H vs. H vs H

SURVIVOR: HEROES VS HEALERS VS HUSTLERS – 10/18/17

As I begin writing tonight’s column, the Dodgers are currently battling the Cubs in the 5th inning at Wrigley in game #4. Dodgers are down 2-1 but that means nothing. Actually, it does mean something. It means I’m not going to start writing my Survivor recap ‘til later. I’ll be back…

9:17pm The Dodgers just lost. F******ck….

9:18pm Alright, my pretties, it’s time to crack open another coconut of Survivor, and to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure how long tonight’s recap will be because:

A) I heard something crazy may be going down at Tribal, and B) I’m drunk on Barefoot Chardonnay (“Barefoot Chardonnay, it’s how men want their women when drinking in the kitchen…”)

So, let’s rock this episode and hope it does more for us than the Dodgers did tonight. Thankfully, Kershaw is pitching tomorrow, so I trust we’re going back to the World Series. No offense, Cubs fans, you had your moment, once every 108 years, right?

Previously on…Survivor!

-at Heroes, Chrissy’s teeth and Ben are still super white… -Ashley and … Continue reading

October 20th, 2017 | 4 Comments | Posted in Survivor 35 - H vs. H vs H

SURVIVOR: HEROES VS HEALERS VS HUSTLERS – 10/11/17

To celebrate the Dodgers making it to the NLCS, how about a little baseball reference to start things off…?

You think Neegan and Lucille would like to take a swing at Ben Affleck right now?

Ooooh, you been Ginsburged!

Yes, things are not good in the world. Maybe it’s just me but doesn’t it seem like everything is just sh*tty nowadays?

Hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, protests, racism, unpatriotism (is that a word?), gender inequality, mass murder, gun control, Russia, partisan bickering, in-party bickering, the US soccer team, and now…Harveygate. There’s definitely something in the water with this administration. And yes, I can say that because none of these things happened when Obama was president…

(that’s a joke, in case you’re Republican)

Enough politics, let’s talk Hollywood for a second, because that’s an industry near and dear to my heart. Not only because I worked in it for 25 years, but because I lived it, breathed it, and can attest there are some creepy motherfu*kers still in it. Harvey is just the “tip” of the iceberg – … Continue reading

October 13th, 2017 | 3 Comments | Posted in Survivor 35 - H vs. H vs H