November 23rd, 2017 | 3 Comments | Posted in Survivor 35 - H vs. H vs H

Aboard the 75’ yacht, Chrissy is happy to control the conversations being conducted and to drink a goblet of wine. We all know she loves her grapes, right?

When the captain of the yacht steers near the Solewa camp to rub the losers faces a little, both sides know this is an opportunity to show their best sides. The winners exhibit that by waving to the losers, and the losers do that by mooning the winners. Nice to see someone still knows how to have a little fun on the island… And f**k you, CBS censors! We want more nudity on Survivor!

Later, Ryan and Ben take a walk and Ryan reveals he has the idol. He thinks if he lets everyone in his alliance know he’s packing, they’ll stick close by him. Ben just loves the fact Cole doesn’t have an idol, and they both claim to want to keep the 7 strong, screw the Healers. Ben admits this means Ryan is a force to be reckoned with, and confesses he’ll need to keep an eye on the bellhop. But for now, they’ll work together to keep the 7 in the game.

The next day (Day 23) Joe is digging around the Tribal flag because he knows he’s on the chopping block along with the other Healers. He can see the Alliance of 7 is running the show, and maybe if he can keep everyone pissed at him, they’ll keep him around as a goat…

When Mike points out to Chrissy and Ashley that Joe is digging for an idol, they’re happy to poke fun at Joe, but when Lil Tony returns to camp and demands to know what they’re talking about, no one really wants to admit they were talking s**t about him.

Joe does what he said he’s gonna do and starts talking s**t to Chrissy and Ashley, because that’s the only game he has left. And since Chrissy and Ashley are not savvy enough to deal with a prick, they begin to let Joe get under their skin. Finally, Chrissy has to leave, and Ashley admits she’d like to get rid of Joe before Cole. Maybe that whole “Asshole Plan” wasn’t the best move, Lil Tony…

Later on Day 23, Ben and Devon take a hike so they can get some We Time away from the other players. When the opportunity presents itself, Ben tells Devon about Ryan’s idol, and says he wants to play with him till the end. Devon plays dumb about knowing about Ryan’s idol, but eventually reveals he knew about it.

More importantly, what this means is that Ryan has not been totally straight with Devon about the idol, because Devon was led to believe he was the only person who knew about it. But now that Ben is also in on Ryan’s secret, it’s time for Devon to make a new pact, and that’s with Ben.

Let’s put all that on hold for a moment as it’s Immunity Challenge time. Jeff calls everyone in and, once again, it’s something new. In this challenge, players will have to stay in a squatting position while resting two poles on their shoulders. If they squat too far, a flag will be raised, and if they “unsquat” too much, their urn will fall off its perch. This will obviously involve a lot of quad strength, so let’s just say that Ryan, Chrissy, Mike and Lauren will not win Immunity.

Let’s cut to the chase:

-surprisingly, Ashley is the first to drop out, as she makes the slightest move awry.
-sure enough, Dr. Mike drops out a few moments later.
-J.P.’s back can’t take it and he drops out
-as does Devon, who can’t believe he dropped out when he checked out Chrissy’s form
-Joe is next, and then it’s Ben, who makes the slightest adjustment.

We’re down to Chrissy, Cole, Ryan and Lauren, and what the hell happened to my predictions? How the hell are the weakest players still alive? Let’s see what other bullsh*t presents itself…

-After 20 minutes, Ryan claims “he’s a Survivor” as Chrissy fails next. We’re down to 3…
-The slightest adjustment takes out Ryan, who had no business being here in the first place…
-Lauren tries to talk some s**t to Cole, but he adjusts successfully.
-Once Lauren begins to show signs of needing to stretch, she gets dangerously close to being too high.
-Out of nowhere, Cole’s urn drops, meaning Lauren wins immunity – did I just type that?! – and everyone knows it’s Cole’s turn to go home…

As we head to break, Cole confesses it was up to him to save his hide, but hopefully the others will take out Joe because he’s such a bi*ch…

Solewa returns to camp (Day 24) and a few members of the “7 Strong” head off together. Ben is taking the lead and telling everyone they need to split the vote and put 4 votes on Cole and 3 on Mike, but Ben’s insistence is starting to piss off Ashley, who wants Joe gone more than anything. As Ben continues to fight for his 4/3 split, Ashley is getting more and more annoyed no one is seeing how big of a threat Joe is, and why isn’t anyone else realizing that?

A bit later, Ashley, Devon, Chrissy, Ryan and Lauren are discussing Ben’s plan, and realize they need to stand up to the Marine, and tell him to f**k off.

Back at camp, Mike is squirming around not know what to do, but Ben is with him, so he asks what the plan is. Ben tells him to vote Cole, but not say anything to Joe, and that’s what Mike needed to hear. He knows there are plans afoot, and he knows it’s time to take out a big threat. So, he finds Joe to have a little confabulation…

He tells the other Healer what he’s heard, and they discuss how they can turn things around and take out Ben. Mike knows he holds a lot of power having an idol, and tonight may be the Tribal to turn this game on its head.

“It’s go big or go home time,” The Penis King admits…

Chrissy takes Ben aside and tells him the others are starting to feel like he’s a dictator, but he doesn’t want to hear any of that. This is becoming a bit more than she wants to deal with, but she also doesn’t want to turn on Ben. The Marine feels Joe is not such a huge threat because he’s such a jerk, but Chrissy says it’s Joe’s time to go. There’s trouble ahead, and only Tribal Council will produce a solution… It’s time to grab those torches and head to Tribal.


  1. Howdy! Happy belated Thanksgiving. So, remember when I said I didn’t think this cast was that bad? I take it all back. I must have been drunk. These people are a bunch of morons. They all claim to be such huge fans of the show, but they sure aren’t playing like it. Here’s my big question: Dr. Mike played his idol, but he voted for Cole. What exactly was he trying to accomplish with all that? If he was trying to shake up the game, shouldn’t he have voted for one of the 7? We have pondered this and can’t come up with an answer. As for Cole, I’m glad he’s gone but would have been happier if they’d been strategic and voted Joe out. I want him to win now just out of spite for this group being so dumb 🙂

    I can’t wait to see what happens once the idiot brigade of 7 has to turn on each other. I do appreciate them sticking it out as a group (those shifting “blocs” were the most frustrating thing in the world) but they are making incredibly dumb decisions.

    Whipped cream vodka is disgusting. The only thing worse is birthday cake vodka. Have a good one! I might actually watch on time this week.

  2. Jen,

    Thank god, a comment. I thought the site had turned off comments… ;-P

    Thank you for seeing the light on this cast. Funny enough, I was having a conversation a week ago with Reality Steve about the cast. He said, “I’m trying to get a read on this season and I can’t. So I’ve decided to watch it like I watch Bachelor and just looking for editing clues and tips.” Which is totally how I see this cast. No one is “big league” in my view, and all I can do is look for little things to write about. And, trust me, I know my columns haven’t been as funny as I’d like lately, but that’s because NO ONE DOES ANYTHING. It’s like this cast — or the show — forgot that we need drama, and good soundbites, and chaos, to enjoy the show. These people are so f**king boring! They got rid of “the couple,” the crazy black man, the crazy white man, the personal assistant who looked like she knew what she was doing, and Desi, who was also smart enough to come up with a good soundbite. Now, we have next to nothing…

    RE: Mike voting for Cole. One thing I’ve read about last week’s episode that seems kinda shitty… Evidently, Mike had made a fake idol and gave it to Joe. Yet, we didn’t see any of that during Tribal. He probably made a big deal of giving him a fake idol during Tribal, so everyone didn’t vote for Joe, and then when it was revealed it was fake, Mike played the real idol on himself. Very peculiar the show didn’t give us any of that. Someone said you can see the fake idol in Joe’s hand as someone else is voting, but we never hear anything about it. Very odd…

    And yeah, I do like that the 7 are sticking together, but I’m sure things’ll get turned on its head this week when 4+3 realizes that 3+2 > 4 and we’ll get a new alliance. And, it’s a double episode, so f**k me, that’s a lot of writing… Thanks for writing in, Jen. I really appreciate it.

  3. A double episode?! Ain’t nobody got time for that. The fake idol thing would make more sense, I suppose. I do feel that there have been some votes in the past at tribal that didn’t make sense. I’m sure they are editing things but I’d like to see what happens to lead to the votes. Some explanation for why things went they way they did.

Leave a Reply