I think we all need to take a shower…preferably together. Because after last week, I just feel kinda dirty. And it’s not the good kind of dirty.

And let’s get one thing straight, I’m not judging Zeke or the Transgender community – evidently, from a lot of the comments I’ve read, that’s America’s job – but what I do feel dirty about is ALMOST EVERYTHING ELSE about last week’s episode:

-What Varner did -That CBS showed it -How I reacted to Varner -How fans reacted to everything -How Probst made this the new Survivor “normal”

And what do we have to look forward to tonight? A 2-hour episode! Yay…! Two more people going home (probably strong players…?).

Yes, it’s true, my little darlings, we’ve reached the “hump episode” – I thought that was last week between Zeke and Varner in the ocean? – and to use a golf term, we’ve completed the “Out,” and now we’re heading “In.” God, why does everything I type read like a dirty joke…?

Oh wait, that’s because it’s the … Continue reading

April 21st, 2017 | 1 Comment | Posted in Survivor 34 - Game Changers


Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your beers! Welcome to the Circus Maximus, where all chariot races have been postponed until further notice. Today, it’s wiener dog races and ostrich polo. So sorry if you came for the chariots…

As you can see, I’m already drinking and going off on tangents. Once again, last week has been an interesting one in the Fish bowl, but you probably don’t care, and I’ve been sworn to secrecy, so let’s just move on. I will say, I received some good news this week, so let’s hope it leads to greener pastures in the Fish bowl… Or a bigger aquarium…

First off, congratulations to Sergio Garcia for winning the Masters. That was an awesome weekend of golf. Talk about getting one of the biggest monkeys off one’s back. I’m sure the only guys who kinda know how he feels are Lee Westwood and Colin Montgomerie, but those names probably mean nothing to you, so let’s keep moving forward. I’m going to be doing just that with this new set of … Continue reading

April 14th, 2017 | 6 Comments | Posted in Survivor 34 - Game Changers


Howdy, friends! Glad you could make it to another recap of the greatest reality show on television. Not sure when this column will be posted, due to me watching the Masters, heading off to work, and mostly due to all the Luke Pell drama that unfolded on this week, meaning the servers may be down…

Damn, that boy created a s**t storm, didn’t he? Honestly, I don’t know my Luke Pell’s from my Pall Mall’s, so I think we should just leave that to RealitySteve. I don’t follow the Bachelor franchise like I used to, and I haven’t even watched The Amazing Race yet. Truth be told, I didn’t even watch any episodes last season, so no spoilers, please! Let’s just focus on Survivor.

From the teasers we’ve seen, we know the following:

-someone is paying us a visit (Boston Rob! he tweeted about it on Sunday) -someone is going to Exile Island -and let’s drop those buffs, folks, the game is afoot!

And just when certain players were certain to face their doom … Continue reading

April 7th, 2017 | 6 Comments | Posted in Survivor 34 - Game Changers