The Solewas march off to Tribal, and I can’t wait to see what’s about to happen… Jessica, Mike and Cole light their torches for the first time, being Tribal virgins (oh, wow, she’s a double virgin!) and everyone takes their stumps. Jeff dives in…
-Ryan: H vs H vs H. Still intact?
The bellhop replies everyone’s aware of those designations, but the last eight days realigned some people…
-Mike: Why not take out a Healer and level the playing field?
Viagra Man says it ain’t that easy, because we’re thinking 2 or 3 moves down the line. Joe interjects that only 2 or 3 names are being mentioned, so Mike’s claim is bulls**t… (an odd tact at Tribal, but Lil Tony knows what he’s doing).
-Cole: Joe’s response tells me (and everyone) that he’s not worried. Are you?
Grizzly Adams lets everyone know he’s voting the way he said he’d vote.
-Lauren: What are you doing tonight?
Our center-fielder is straight up and says she’s voting out whomever’s the most annoying, or someone else…
-Chrissy: You agree?
My new fantasy suite partner agrees and says it’s not just about physical threats, there are other factors at play. No! Chrissy, don’t put a target on your own back. Keep this all about the physical threats… Stupid fake-boobied actuaries…
-Joe: What can you add to throw more attention at you?
Jeff, I’m gonna throw so much s**t tonight everyone’s gonna think I’m cray-cray. And you know what? I is…
-Mike: You down with what Joe is throwin’…?
The doc stands up to Joe and says they weren’t always on the same page, but now they are.
And now that Joe’s been called out, he pulls out his idol, and puts it around his neck, so now everyone knows he’s a “playa.” And based on Jeff’s, “Wow,” he knows another mediocre move’s been made at Tribal by a guy who felt threatened. We’ll see…
-Cole: Joe pulled that out. You threatened?
Jeff, I’m packing, but I ain’t packing an idol…
Joe confirms… “We’ll figure it out.”
-Jessica: Since your name was mentioned too (unbeknownst to you) what say you?
Jessica replies she used to be on a tribe with Joe, so…what was the question?
Cole adds that since he found the original idol with Joe, he’s not gonna worry, but when everyone laughs at him, it causes him to worry.
“Battle lines are drawn, Jeff,” Ben announces. And I wonder who’s crying tonight. It’s time to vote. Surprisingly, no votes are revealed before Jeff goes to collect the urn. He asks for Hidden Idols:
Joe eventually takes his idol off his neck dramatically and heads over to Jeff. Who’s he gonna play it for? Himself? Cole? Someone else?
“This is for me,” he tells Jeff (did anyone really think he’d play it for anyone else?). Jeff reads the votes:
Chrissy (eliciting a big reaction from Ms. Math)
Jessica
Chrissy
Jessica
Chrissy
Jessica
Chrissy
Jessica
Chrissy
Jessica
Jessica
Jessica
Boom goes Figgy-adjacent. Er, I mean, Buttcheeks, oops, I mean, Miss Lil Cole. No! Shoot, the Virgin? Damn, what is her name? Okay, the chick with the great tush walks down the path and I think Cole just realized what true love is. Let’s hope they don’t spend too much time apart.
Jeff makes some speech about those damn “battle lines,” but no one’s listening. Everyone’s thinking about what Ben just did to this tribe, and how his decision will affect the rest of the season. Let’s see what happens next week…
Next time on…Survivor!
The Healers are experiencing the lowest of the lows as they realize they lost:
-that butt
-Joe’s idol
-any advantage
And Cole’s lost his mind as we see him knocking people over and digging for idols. I guess he really hates math, so we’ll see how this plays out for him. Methinks he’s gone next week and gets married at Ponderosa.
And in Jessica’s final words, she expresses the heartbreak of being dumped by a game, but not a boy. Hopefully, it’ll be the last time a game dumps you. Chances are, she won’t have to worry about being dumped by any more guys. She is beautiful, “I’m talking about a Yankee Rose…”
Okay, my friends, not too much to go over in the television world, as I’ve already given you the shows to check out. Definitely “Berlin Station” and “Will & Grace,” and let’s see where “The Walking Dead” goes on Sunday. Who the hell is Morales? I’m doing anything I can to distract me from the reality of life, the news, and Twitter, so let’s hope you’re able to navigate a little better than I am.
All I can say is that Louis C.K. is funny. And even though he’s been ACCUSED of some crazy s**t, that doesn’t mean he’s not funny. I’m gonna pay attention to how all these allegations play out, but as I tweeted this week, we might as well get rid of all attorneys and judges if Twitter is the new way to determine the truth. Think about it… There used to be something called Due Process in the United States, but no more. We might as well just change that to Twitter Process and have everyone go to jail. Go directly to jail…
Please tell Loverboy I’m not “loving every minute of it.”
Annoyed AF,
Fish
Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
Twitter: @BF_TheFish
AIM: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com or Bryan Fischer
Hi! Sorry I’ve been MIA. Traveling, work, and computer issues all contributed to my absence. How is it that I can remember all the lyrics to “Gangsta’s Paradise” but can’t remember a password?! L’Anyhoodle, I’m all caught up on our favorite show. I feel that this cast is marginally better than the past few. I’m thinking it all started going downhill when we tried to cram people into categories. “I’m a hustler.” No, you’re a bellhop. I also think having three tribes makes it difficult to get to know people. Either way, I sure do miss the likes of Boston Rob, Coach, Parvati, etc. Cole needs to go. He is potentially the dumbest player we’ve ever had. If he wins, I’m done watching forever. Hopefully he follows Jessica next week. I’m liking Ben or Dr. Mike for the win. I forget about JP. He’s a bump on a log, isn’t he? That Outback Steakhouse advertising was quite effective. We ended up going last night 🙂 As always, thanks for the laughs. I look forward to seeing your take on the show each week. Have a good one!!
Hey Jen. Thanks for coming back! Hope you had good travels… Man, I stopped trying to remember all my passwords long ago and had to keep them electronically. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to log in to anything. I think I’m getting old.
You really think this cast is better than recent ones? I’ll leave Game Changers out of the debate because they’re all returnees, but looking back over the last 4 or 5 “all new” casts and they seem — to me — a bit more interesting. Maybe because this season is still so young. And who knows what drama will come later? I’m almost worried the show is gonna throw some huge mindf**k on us down the line. Shows do that, right…? 😉
I seriously hope we don’t get some ridiculous story arc that tarnishes an already blah season. Fingers crossed.
I think you’re right about the categories. It’s all Cagayan’s fault. That Brains/Beauty/Brawn stuff started it all. Old School Survivor had Heroes vs. Villains, but those are some broad labels.The recent seasons are too damn specific. And I do like what you’re saying about 3 tribes. Give us 2 so we can get to know the players better, and they can start forming larger alliances…and drama.
Yeah, it’s almost like Cole has never seen the show. What’s up with him? Something’s off with a few of these jokers. Glad you enjoyed your steak dinner and glad you’re enjoying the recaps. I’ll try to be funnier.. (it’s tough sometimes!)
Fish