November 11th, 2017 | 2 Comments | Posted in Survivor 35 - H vs. H vs H

Dawn breaks at Yawa (Day 17) and everyone has their best face on. The tribe is confident in how solid they are, and once they merge, this version of Yawa thinks they can stay together. Cole is high on life, because he’s also in the majority of 3 Healers on Yawa. Ben, on the other hand, is a lone Hero, and while he’ll play along with the new Yawa , he doesn’t dig seeing Cole and Jessica playing footsie all the time.

“It’s just hard to trust that,” he confesses.

Over at Levu, things are bleak as all their food is gone. No rice, no chicken, no fruit or veggies. For breakfast, they’re licking the sugar jar, which classifies them as a pitiful tribe. I mean, like, Hunahpu pitiful. Plus, they’re looking at a 2 vs. 2 split, so anything someone does will be evaluated. Devon shuffles back into camp looking like an extra on “Schindler’s List,” and it’s clear everyone on this tribe is broken. They need a win today, and hopefully a Reward Challenge feast.

As I shove another huge chunk of salmon into my face and wash it down with another vodka/orange soda, I wonder why they don’t – I don’t know – GO LOOK FOR SOME F**KING FOOD!, because that’s what I would do if I was THAT hungry. I guess the producers told them they have to stay and look unhappy…

And it looks like the camera department got a new drone camera to play with… Hi, Devon’s lifeless body!

Later, we head over to our first challenge, and based on the 3 colors on the course, ain’t nobody merging today… I think we may have our first fatality on Survivor, and I’m wondering which of the Levus will cry first. Let’s see what Jeff has to say.

“Yawa, Levu, getting a first look at the new Soko tribe. Ali voted out.”

Devon is the first to comment,

“Uh, Jeff, can we eat Ali? Now that she’s gone…?”

Ryan snickers at the sexual connotation, but quickly wipes away his smirk. He knows he just embarrassed himself. He looks at Jeff, who’s clearly ready to spill something big.

“You are merged.”

Oh, snap. Once again, Fish is losing his Survivor mojo. That’s cool. I haven’t lost my vodka mojo. In fact, a refresher is in order during the commercial break…

Jeff hands out the new buffs and everyone looks around for a feast. Nada. But Lil Tony tells us he’s feeling good because there are still 5 Healers left (to 4 Heroes and 3 Hustlers) and no one knows he has an idol. Life is good at the probation office…

Jeff is done messing with those on the verge of starvation and tells them they’re gonna have the greatest feast in their lives, and it’s all sponsored by Outback Steakhouse. That does sound pretty good, and I think I’ll take my son there this weekend.

But there’s something about the way Jeff is talking about this feast that seems “off.” Could it be that it’ll only be for the winning team (or two) who win this challenge…?

Nope. He sends everyone off to fill their stomachs in a hut around the corner, and hopefully he’ll surprise them mid-feast and tell ‘em they’re running this challenge immediately after the feast. That would be Must See TV. I can’t wait to see all that Outback Steakhouse on the beach after everyone hurls.

During the feast, where beer and steak and everything else Outback decided was expendable is served, Joe seems to be getting a little tipsy and acting the fool. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Chrissy, who is especially pleased she’s avoided this boob until now. But in his drunkenness, he spills that he played an idol at Tribal a while ago, and this only makes Chrissy wonder if he may have found another one. Nice move, Lil Tony, what happened to sitting pretty?

Jessica may not be drunk, but she’s talking like she is and admits to whoring herself out to the waiter,

“Hey, show me your Thunder Down Under, mate!”

The dude just stares at her like, “Take a shower and we’ll talk.”

For some inexplicable reason, Chrissy thinks sitting 4 inches away from the others is enough space to speak privately to Ben, and tells him how happy she is they’re together again. He’s immediately on the defensive – and probably thinking, “Dude, my wife is gonna be watching this in a few months!” – and knows it’s a bad idea for them to be seen speaking together. He tells her to speak with him – secretly – back at camp. Maybe she’s drunk too… Ben knows it’s Go Time, and from here on out it’s not about alliances, it’s about family. His family. And not some chick he met two weeks ago.

“It’s gonna be blindsides, and lies, and I’m sure someone’s gonna cry.” Let’s hope it’s not Ben, because I like strong men winning Survivor. Not guys like Adam…

The Merged Tribe and their fat bellies arrive back at camp and it’s like Christmas and Hanukkah all wrapped into one. Their Secret Santa left them a slew of tools and other items to improve the camp, and everyone gets to work building, or strategizing. Cole spies some extra-long nails that he can hang his undies on to dry, but misses out on the clue that’s tucked in between them.

Jessica takes Desi for a walk and confirms she and Joe still want to work with the other Healers…for as long as they need Joe. And with the addition of Lauren and Ben, Jessica is feeling like the “Queen Bee” right now. Let’s not get too big for those britches, young virgin.

Ryan and Devon find time to renew their Hustler alliance, and quickly conclude they need to form a Hustler + Hero vs. Healer showdown, meaning a lot of moving parts need to come together. I think it’s far too early after the merge, and far too early in tonight’s episode, to dictate how the rest of the show/season will go, so I’m wondering if Ryan is biting off more than he can chew.

At the newly named Solewa tribe (Day 18), Devon and Lauren head off to chat, and he tells her about the plan to take out the Healers. She’s not down with it, and confesses she’s more comfortable with Doc Boner and Ben, so things will get interesting later. She then spills Devon’s plan to Doc Boner, who states the obvious,

“I expect a war.” Hopefully, it won’t be over the insurance reimbursement.

A little bit later, Devon, Chrissy and Ben are at the well and Devon tells them about the plan to keep the Hustlers and Heroes together, and possibly target Cole or Joe first. Chrissy is all too eager to take out Lil Tony, considering his table manners, but Devon is leaning more towards Cole, since he’s a bigger physical threat. Ben realizes he has options, and right now he’s wondering if he can trust Cole.


  1. Hi! Sorry I’ve been MIA. Traveling, work, and computer issues all contributed to my absence. How is it that I can remember all the lyrics to “Gangsta’s Paradise” but can’t remember a password?! L’Anyhoodle, I’m all caught up on our favorite show. I feel that this cast is marginally better than the past few. I’m thinking it all started going downhill when we tried to cram people into categories. “I’m a hustler.” No, you’re a bellhop. I also think having three tribes makes it difficult to get to know people. Either way, I sure do miss the likes of Boston Rob, Coach, Parvati, etc. Cole needs to go. He is potentially the dumbest player we’ve ever had. If he wins, I’m done watching forever. Hopefully he follows Jessica next week. I’m liking Ben or Dr. Mike for the win. I forget about JP. He’s a bump on a log, isn’t he? That Outback Steakhouse advertising was quite effective. We ended up going last night 🙂 As always, thanks for the laughs. I look forward to seeing your take on the show each week. Have a good one!!

  2. Hey Jen. Thanks for coming back! Hope you had good travels… Man, I stopped trying to remember all my passwords long ago and had to keep them electronically. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to log in to anything. I think I’m getting old.

    You really think this cast is better than recent ones? I’ll leave Game Changers out of the debate because they’re all returnees, but looking back over the last 4 or 5 “all new” casts and they seem — to me — a bit more interesting. Maybe because this season is still so young. And who knows what drama will come later? I’m almost worried the show is gonna throw some huge mindf**k on us down the line. Shows do that, right…? 😉

    I seriously hope we don’t get some ridiculous story arc that tarnishes an already blah season. Fingers crossed.

    I think you’re right about the categories. It’s all Cagayan’s fault. That Brains/Beauty/Brawn stuff started it all. Old School Survivor had Heroes vs. Villains, but those are some broad labels.The recent seasons are too damn specific. And I do like what you’re saying about 3 tribes. Give us 2 so we can get to know the players better, and they can start forming larger alliances…and drama.

    Yeah, it’s almost like Cole has never seen the show. What’s up with him? Something’s off with a few of these jokers. Glad you enjoyed your steak dinner and glad you’re enjoying the recaps. I’ll try to be funnier.. (it’s tough sometimes!)

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