November 11th, 2017 | 2 Comments | Posted in Survivor 35 - H vs. H vs H

When they return to camp, Cole is munching on a cinnamon stick that he shouldn’t be, and once again, Ben is wondering “How do you solve a problem like Cole?” He heads to the beach and tells Jessica and Lauren that Cole is sneaking food, and once again, Jessica realizes she needs to speak with Cole about his social mores.

But he conveniently shows up where her butt is sticking up (natch!) and she tells him about not sneaking any food. Put off by this, he demands to know who told her. “Ben,” she says, and it’s on like Donkey Kong. Cole is anti-Ben.

And Ben is anti-Cole as he shares a chat with Dr. Mike, who prefers to not lose The Cinnamon Stick since he’s an original Healer. The Doc is starting to get a little paranoid the others are playing as hard as he is, but he’s nowhere as paranoid as Cole right now, after Mike tells him it’s between him and Joe now.

Off to our first Individual Immunity Challenge and it looks like there’s some type of balancing aspect to this challenge, let’s presume the surfers should do well.

Oh, snap, it’s not just about balance it also involves coordination, as the players must spin a ball within a wooden ring WHILE balancing on a slanted beam. No idea how to predict who’ll do well in this one, but I think strength/endurance may be a benefit. And once again, props to the Challenge crew for giving us something entirely new. Good on ya, Kirhoffer!

Everyone starts spinning their balls around and the first thing that occurs to me is,

“Why the hell are you looking around at the other players?! Who the f**k cares how they’re doing! Just concentrate on your own damn balls!”

A summary:

-Ryan drops out in two seconds (Seriously, you think you deserve to be Sole Survivor playing like that?)
-Mr. Urethra thinks it’s wise to give Jeff a witty soundbite and drops his ball. Sorry, his ball is now “descended”
-When players are told to move both feet onto the slanted beam, Jessica drops out.

BTW, Devon is using a freakish “stare into the ether” approach instead of looking at his ball, and it’s starting to scare me a little. Reminds me of the first time I smoked weed.

-Ben can’t make the transition down to the narrowest section with his front foot and falls off the beam.
-Quickly, J.P. and Devon drop out, and we’re down to six.
-Now it’s five, as Lauren can’t keep her ball spinning.
-Probst tries to f**k with everyone’s mind, and succeeds, as Joe’s ball goes flying into Cole…
-After 10 minutes, Cole finally drops out, leaving our 3 strongest female players: Chrissy, Desi, and Ashley. Hey, wait, Ashley’s a surfer!
-Chrissy takes her eye off the ball and instantly regrets that decision, watching it drop to the ground.

It’s down to Desi vs. Ashley, and they’ve reached the 30-minute mark. Impressive, ladies. I’m sure there’s a joke here about “handling balls,” but I can’t find it. Any suggestions, readers?

Jeff schools Ryan and makes him feel like crap for dropping out at two seconds, but it’s Chrissy who’s taking us all to school and saying the women have outlasted the bellhop by 900X. Nice work, math whiz…

At 38 minutes in, Jeff tells the girls they’re in Sudden Death, and have to inch their way down to the narrowest part of the beam with both feet. As they begin their motion, Ashley suddenly loses her ball off to the side, giving Desi the first Individual Immunity of the season. You go, girl! Beautiful and strong, me likey. And as Jeff fastens the necklace around her neck, the only thing I’m thinking about is how wet her crotch is from all that sweat. Pan up, camera!

We head to break and Ryan tells us it’s time to take out the Healer alliance, but I see several possible targets tonight:


And all those names are strong guys, so what happened to keeping this season strong ‘til the end!?

Back at camp, Cole confesses he knows he’s on the chopping block, so he seeks out the one person that’s been gunning for him: Ben. He takes a moment to apologize for anything he’s done wrong. Ben accepts his apology, but knows it doesn’t mean s**t. But…Ben is ready to do whatever it takes to move forward in the game, even working with someone like Cole to accomplish that.

Meanwhile, Cole takes Joe aside to discuss how they’re both on the chopping block. (Man, Cole can never keep his mouth shut!). Joe understands he’s a target considering his amazing gameplay and table manners, and Cole feels that now is the time to spill that he, Jessica, Ben, Lauren and Mike have a Yawa pact that’ll stick together. Seriously, Cole?

Joe asks him why he would work with Ben considering how easily the Marine would flip on them, but there is no answer from Cole. Joe knows he’ll need to assess what the threats are at Tribal and possibly play his idol for himself, or maybe someone else if that’ll do him any better. But, I highly doubt he would do that…

Cole, Mike, Desi and Lauren share a chat, and our resident urologist suggests taking out our resident actuary because she’s too damn smart. And from the shots of Chrissy walking on the beach, I think her abs and boobs warrant that she sticks around a little while longer. Me-ow… Shouldn’t this be in slow motion…?

Mike’s plan is for the Healers to stick together, and with Lauren’s help, they’ll have 6 votes against Chrissy. The question is…where does Ben stand? He and Lauren take a moment to discuss what the options are, but it’s obvious she’s in bed with the Healers, and he’s clearly in bed with taking Cole out. Not sure where this Mexican standoff will go, but Ben seems to not be revealing all his cards to Lauren. Or us.

A bit later, Ryan, Ashley, Chrissy, Devon, Ben and Lauren are huddled together and discussing what to do.

“You’re thinking Cole?” Ashley asks, which Devon confirms, and Joe being the backup plan. But when Chrissy starts to consider how fluid things may get, she confesses they need another backup plan, in case Joe plays an idol for either himself or Cole. The group decides Jessica is the next one down the line considering her connection to Cole – and the unlikelihood dummy found an idol – it would be an acceptable Plan B to take out the Virgin.

Chrissy and Ben share a quick chat about how aligned they still are, but what we realize is that Ben is in the middle of two alliances, and he knows the battle lines will be drawn.

“We’re going to war tonight,” he portends…


  1. Hi! Sorry I’ve been MIA. Traveling, work, and computer issues all contributed to my absence. How is it that I can remember all the lyrics to “Gangsta’s Paradise” but can’t remember a password?! L’Anyhoodle, I’m all caught up on our favorite show. I feel that this cast is marginally better than the past few. I’m thinking it all started going downhill when we tried to cram people into categories. “I’m a hustler.” No, you’re a bellhop. I also think having three tribes makes it difficult to get to know people. Either way, I sure do miss the likes of Boston Rob, Coach, Parvati, etc. Cole needs to go. He is potentially the dumbest player we’ve ever had. If he wins, I’m done watching forever. Hopefully he follows Jessica next week. I’m liking Ben or Dr. Mike for the win. I forget about JP. He’s a bump on a log, isn’t he? That Outback Steakhouse advertising was quite effective. We ended up going last night 🙂 As always, thanks for the laughs. I look forward to seeing your take on the show each week. Have a good one!!

  2. Hey Jen. Thanks for coming back! Hope you had good travels… Man, I stopped trying to remember all my passwords long ago and had to keep them electronically. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to log in to anything. I think I’m getting old.

    You really think this cast is better than recent ones? I’ll leave Game Changers out of the debate because they’re all returnees, but looking back over the last 4 or 5 “all new” casts and they seem — to me — a bit more interesting. Maybe because this season is still so young. And who knows what drama will come later? I’m almost worried the show is gonna throw some huge mindf**k on us down the line. Shows do that, right…? 😉

    I seriously hope we don’t get some ridiculous story arc that tarnishes an already blah season. Fingers crossed.

    I think you’re right about the categories. It’s all Cagayan’s fault. That Brains/Beauty/Brawn stuff started it all. Old School Survivor had Heroes vs. Villains, but those are some broad labels.The recent seasons are too damn specific. And I do like what you’re saying about 3 tribes. Give us 2 so we can get to know the players better, and they can start forming larger alliances…and drama.

    Yeah, it’s almost like Cole has never seen the show. What’s up with him? Something’s off with a few of these jokers. Glad you enjoyed your steak dinner and glad you’re enjoying the recaps. I’ll try to be funnier.. (it’s tough sometimes!)

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