October 13th, 2017 | 3 Comments | Posted in Survivor 35 - H vs. H vs H

To celebrate the Dodgers making it to the NLCS, how about a little baseball reference to start things off…?

You think Neegan and Lucille would like to take a swing at Ben Affleck right now?

Ooooh, you been Ginsburged!

Yes, things are not good in the world. Maybe it’s just me but doesn’t it seem like everything is just sh*tty nowadays?

Hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, protests, racism, unpatriotism (is that a word?), gender inequality, mass murder, gun control, Russia, partisan bickering, in-party bickering, the US soccer team, and now…Harveygate. There’s definitely something in the water with this administration. And yes, I can say that because none of these things happened when Obama was president…

(that’s a joke, in case you’re Republican)

Enough politics, let’s talk Hollywood for a second, because that’s an industry near and dear to my heart. Not only because I worked in it for 25 years, but because I lived it, breathed it, and can attest there are some creepy motherfu*kers still in it. Harvey is just the “tip” of the iceberg – don’t say tip, Fish – and we know this ain’t over anytime soon. I’m actually gleeful Hollywood is imploding on itself for all the b.s. they’ve been slinging for so long.

One thing I’ll say about working in Hollywood – or television, or entertainment – is that being an assho*e is applauded. Demeaning others is accepted at work. And that ain’t cool with me. It was probably one of the reasons I didn’t climb the proverbial ladder higher than I did. I just never had the desire to treat people around me like sh*t, which is actually REWARDED in Hollywood.

Sure, I may sound like a prick in my columns, but that’s only for the benefit of my readers. And, here’s a little secret, I wasn’t drunk when I was at work. Perhaps there’s correlation between drinking and being a prick, but please don’t make me reconsider my “creative process”…

Honestly, I can’t say I ever witnessed any sexual harassment. But I do recall the time I went in for an audition (yes, like everyone who grew up in LA, I had headshots and tried to be an actor). But just before stepping into the audition I was told to remove my shirt. For the record, I’ve never been a muscular dude. I’m not fat or skinny either (think “dad bod” at 25…) but I wasn’t going to be on any beefcake calendars.

So, I take off my shirt, and step into a room where there are 8 or 10 elderly Japanese men sitting on a sofa staring at me.

“Make a muscle,” someone says, and I put my arms up in the air to flex.

“Turn around,” someone else commands, and I oblige, making sure the guy with the video recorder has enough time to pan up and down my body…

I left with a weird feeling in my throat – thankfully, not in my ass – and wasn’t crushed when my agent told me I didn’t get the part. Needless to say, that was the last audition I ever went on…

So, the “casting couch” mentality does exist, and while there are many women (and men) who would allow themselves to get a gig that way, the real problem is there are far too many creepy dudes who know they could score with hot chicks by promising them a role in this project, or a second call-back for that one…

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to make it sound like the victims are at fault (that’s Donna Karan’s job, evidently), this is all about the creepy old f**kers who took advantage of actors and actresses, and then had enough handlers/assistants/enablers around to cover their tracks. It’s gross all around, and I can’t wait to see the fallout from all the accusations.

I’m telling you, right now’s the time to come out and say you were sexually harassed in Hollywood, because EVERYONE will believe you…

However, tonight isn’t about Hollywood, or Harvey, or anything else negative. It’s about Survivor! And thanks to the kind words of some commenters, I’m going to continue the My Two Cents (M2C) essay at the end of the recap because…I have opinions. And unfortunately, since there are SO MANY things to write about lately, I can’t even get to the Harvey stuff until next week.

Tonight’s M2C is all about the Cam Newton kerfuffle, and how he made the mistake of opening his mouth. Click through to the end for another essay that’ll piss off half my readers…

It’s time to turn our attention to Survivor, which may be the only good thing I watch on TV anymore. Well, I do hope the Dodgers win on Saturday night, but that’s not ‘til Saturday. Let’s crack open this boring coconut and see what perverted holes Cole and Jessica are falling into, and what other sexual innuendos I can muster…

Tonight’s column is sponsored by my new dietician, Dr. Hazel, who told me I had to stop mixing juices with my vodka and switch to flavored soda water because my glucose is through the f**king ceiling. Fine! It’s Pinnacle and Kiwi Strawberry soda (and a splash of Lite Cran-Grape, you bi*ch!). Let’s get started…

Previously on…Survivor!

-Alan could be going home tonight because he’s still out to get the Power Couple
-Joe is a dick
-Patrick’s a boob
-and hey, Simone finally smiled when Jeff snuffed her torched (BTW, I think I’d like to snuff her torch…)

“16 are left, who will be voted out tonight?” (duh, it’s Alan)


  1. Hi Fish!
    Glad you kept the My Two Cents going! Honestly, it bothers me how everyone has to be so politically correct now in fear of stepping on someone’s toes. He laughed. Big deal. My husband thinks it’s cute when I get really into the games as well. It’s because it’s UNEXPECTED. Football is traditionally a mans sport. It’s their thing. Women watching now? Cool. Nothing wrong with that. I think there’s bigger issues than to attack a guy for having an honest, spontaneous and not necessarily negative response. It’s just being misconstrued as negative because everyone wants to make a big deal out of everything nowadays.
    As for your Survivor recap, you’re on the ball as usual. I disagree with you only on one point – I think Ali is quite stunning and already skinny enough… haha. No one wants a twig that looks like they’re dying, right?
    Alan needs to go. I don’t even know why he came on the show. His game strategy is laughable at best. Glad Patrick left. Thanks for the little tidbit that Patrick and Ali knew each other. Sneaky sneaky!
    Keep up the writing! Your recaps are just about my favourite 🙂

  2. Thanks again for a great recap. They are truly something I look forward to each week! This season of our favorite show is shaping up to be kind of a dud, I’m afraid. I still like little Ryan the Bellhop. Ali seems to be a decent player. I’m so glad that Patrick is gone. He was getting painful to watch. Alan is still nuts, Joe is still awful, and I still think I like Chrissy. My problem is that no one is very memorable. And when you drink as much wine as I do while watching, players need to be memorable 🙂 Hopefully some front runners will start to emerge soon.

    The hubs and I were talking about the “hook ups” this season. To me, that’s icky. You’re stuck on an island with no soap, shampoo, or razor. There are bugs and sand everywhere and that’s uncomfortable. You’re just asking for a UTI. Well, maybe not in the virgin’s case, but anyone else who gets their freak on is begging for a raging infection. Hubs thinks it’s out of sheer boredom and that if players hook up in the ocean, it’s more sanitary. Anyone have any thoughts on this burning topic? Moving on…

    I’m really enjoying the M2C. Here’s MY two cents: Cam Newton is hot. He can say whatever he wants. I’m with you on this, Fish. You can’t pick and choose when to fight for the first amendment. It’s all or nothing. ALSO, I don’t think this was super offensive. My husband would die laughing if I ever asked about routes. I watch football strictly for the chips and beer that go along with it. I don’t have a favorite team or a favorite player. I choose who to root for based off of which uniform I like better. So, yeah, it might be funny if I asked anything remotely “footbally.” I do appreciate other sports, but have never gotten into football for whatever reason.

    I’m going out of town this week where wifi is scarce so I might have to watch double episodes next week. Have a good one!

  3. Hi lil! Thanks for the comment, and for reading! Yeah, the whole PC thing has gotten so magnified. And it didn’t help that “the whole PC thing” also became part of Trump’s platform. It’s like “if you didn’t give a crap about people who aren’t PC you will now because Donnie baby says people are too PC.” Huh? I think people should stop following the herd and make some original decisions. Friggin’ lemmings…

    Sorry for the Ali hate. BTW, I included that line about Ali just for you! 😉 Besides, I like twigs… And I guess Alan is playing the ABW card that I was referring to in last week’s comment section. Why can’t players just be nice?!

    Hi jen! Thank you for writing in and I’m glad you like my recaps. Both of the comments this week give me the warm fuzzies…

    Re: dud of a season. Let’s hope things improve this week. Evidently something exciting is happening at Tribal Council. Not sure if it’s true, but I read somewhere that someone said we’re drawing rocks. I can’t even say that’s a spoiler because I have no idea where I saw that. It may have even been in a dream and I can’t remember. Honestly, there are times I drink and write and the next morning I read something and say, “I don’t even remember writing that sentence…” That’s funny, right? It’s not sad, right?

    Re: Ryan. Ew. Just ew… And Ali is growing on me. I do like her vibe now, and the way she communicates with others. However, I thought she could have spoken to Lauren with a little more believability when asked who she’s voting for. Just seemed like she had a problem lying and that’s never good on Survivor. And as much as the idea of hooking up would be on my mind when girls are “scantily clad and showin’ body,” I do wonder how funky people’s breath is and how stinky everyone must be. Ocean sex seems doable, but the cameras are always watching… Next thing you know, it’d be an episode of the Bachelor and Jeff would have to give out roses… And I’m glad you also like M2C. As I said, I wonder if Cam laughed simply because it was a woman. Or was it THAT woman? I don’t know. The whole thing was so dumb and such a “let’s make this into more than it is because we’re the media and we have to create news.” We all know that happens sometimes… There are some days I read articles on Yahoo or CBS Sports and I just wonder, “Why the hell is this even online?” And then I remember, everyone needs to create a steady stream of content. However, it’d be nice if there was an online editor who says, “This is even too dumb for us to publish.” I guess the bar is lowered some days…

    Have a wonderful couple days! I think I’ve decided what to do with all that Survivor swag I acquired. Will tell everyone this week… Stay tuned!


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