Another week, another series of highs and lows in the Fish Bowl. No need to get into it right now, since the only other person who goes through as many pendulum swings is Debbie. I truly think she’s on the brink of something. Mutiny? Redemption? A nervous breakdown…?
And while I don’t want to be the guy who makes fun of anyone with a mental disorder, I do want to be the guy who makes fun of the “reality star” who thinks she’s a big-time player and knows what’s up…on her 2nd time playing!
But what about the Debbie Wanner we don’t know? Who is she? Where did she come from? What does she really do for a living? I don’t care about any of that, but I do care about the scandalous things she did in her past. Excuse me, what? Scandalous? You seriously didn’t know about her scandalous past? Well, let the Fish enlighten you about something Debbie did long before she earned the title of Reality Show Moron.
Now, I’m not one to sit and judge someone on their prior transgressions – Lord knows I’d never be married if that were the case – but it’s just a little something to digest this week as you’re watching one of the Game Changers melt down on national TV. Maybe they should have called this episode: Debbie Does Delusional.
And while I have my theories on why we saw this epic meltdown last week, it’s not because I think she’s going home this week (although that would be awesome). On the contrary, two weeks ago there wasn’t a hint of Malcolm being in jeopardy and look who took the fall last week?
So, employing that theory, it’s not Debbie going home tonight, and I fear it may be someone I don’t want to say goodbye to. But since that’s the way the last few seasons have played out – week in and week out – there’s no reason why tonight should be any different. Let’s see which one of my favorites are going home tonight…
And it better not be Maria Von Trapp!
-Maria scores on the table maze and gets felt up by her tribe… (schwing!)
-Chaos ensues at Final Tribal as Jeff Probst realizes he’s lost control of the show…
-And we see J.T. clearly telling Brad that Sierra is being targeted, thus sending Malcolm to his grave (but, in all fairness, J.T. didn’t know they’d vote for his BFF, right?)
Night 11 and Nuku returns to camp after Tribal, unhappy, unfed, unwashed. Sandra wonders aloud why Tai would have given his idol to Sierra, who just so happens to be the one Nuku was targeting. She’s implying that J.T. snitched their plan to Brad, but J.T.’s only retort is that he told Brad he was safe. And when the accusations start flying about “what else did you tell Culpepper?” J.T. knows he done f**ked up.
Using his hillbilly logic, he thought Mana would take the opportunity to vote out Sandra, but instead, they took out the strongest person on the Nuku tribe…right after Hali said they should “take out strong players.” Which evidently made J.T. crap his drawers and think he might go home, yet, he didn’t think about what repercussions it might have to any other strong players on his tribe…
So dumb. But that’s what a million bucks and a million beers does to one’s brain.
And two million bucks and two million shots of tequila have empowered the Queen to recognize when somebody’s bullsh**ting her, so she has her crosshairs on “el Gordo.”
Morning breaks and J.T. knows he’s on the hot seat. He has one thing in mind and that’s finding an idol. He stops by Survivor: Starbucks for a sugar rush and sprints off into the jungle for his morning constitutional.
Now, having seen a lot of Survivor, we all know the type of places where idols are stashed: crooks in branches, hollowed out tree stumps, or down holes that may house idols, clues, or venomous spiders.
Fortunately for J.T., the crook in a tree he finds holds a clue to an idol, meaning he’s got to dig to find salvation, and – what a coincidence! – everyone’s taking a poop break in the ocean. He grabs a shovel, digs for 30 seconds, and finds his guarantee to three more days on the island. Time for a beer!
Next up on the agenda is our first challenge, which is taking place on an adorable little sandbank (check out: 17°40’20.6″S 177°07’53.2″E) in the middle of the ocean. As we fly around, we can see this one will involve balance, coordination, and puzzles. Oh, just like every other challenge we’ve seen this season!