March 24th, 2017 | 6 Comments | Posted in Survivor 34 - Game Changers

Man, what a difference a week makes. Last week (or, shall I say, a few days ago) I was high as a kite. Riding the positive waves of love and support coming from all of you. And then…March Madness happened. And while I’m a frickin’ yuge fan of NCAA basketball, it really bit us in the pooper.

Even though he took the blame for it, I can’t fault Reality Steve for holding the column. Let’s get that clear right off. Because any time there’s a choice between Survivor and a sportsbook, I’m leaning sportsbook. Sorry if that diminishes my Überfan credentials, but c’mon…it’s March frickin’ Madness. I remember road tripping to Tucson in 1989 to the McKale Center for the 1st Round. That trip is a little foggy cuz we did some pot back then. But I do remember driving 100mph across the desert, staying at a dingy motel near Arizona Univ., and seeing the finals bound Seton Hall Pirates file past us into the arena. They looked like criminals…

I remember the 1990 tournament because my buddy and I drove to Oakland – stoned again, natch – where we saw Bo Kimble and up-tempo Loyola Marymount honor the death of Hank Gathers by going as far as they could in the tourney, eventually losing to tournament champions UNLV, with one of the greatest starting five ever assembled in college basketball: Larry Johnson, Anderson Hunt, Greg Anthony, Stacey Augmon, and David Butler. And Travis Bice reminded us skinny white guys that we could play basketball…

And then the pinnacle of my sports viewing career occurred when I saw UCLA (my team) win it all in Seattle in 1995 after I had been following the tournament from Europe while tripping around with a Europass.

So, let’s get this straight… I’ve been attending NCAA tournament games 11 years before Survivor ever aired, so needless to say, I’m invested. Having said all this, I don’t give a crap if Steve didn’t post my column until Tuesday, because…it’s NCAA basketball.

However, if I can get tonight’s recap over to him ASAP, that would be kinda nice for all of you who like to read me, and don’t give a crap about a bunch of sweaty kids playing for their alumni. So, let’s get right to it…

Previously on…Survivor!

-the tribe shake up left J.T. and Troyzan in trouble…
-and placed Brad in a “hero edit” situation when he voted out strength over gameplay
-leaving 17 to figure out what “game changers” are supposed to do…

Upon returning to camp after Tribal, Tai is shown the support he needs after voting out his man crush, and hopes his act of solidarity will earn the trust of his tribe. As usual, Tai proves he’s the Forrest Gump on Survivor.

“I’m not a smart man, and I’m playing with my…my…br…head.”

The sun rises on Day 10 and we find Hali and Debbie fetching a pail of water. Hali views the Caleb vote as a blessing, because she was dead in the water a couple days ago, but now, all she wants to do is show Debbie that she’s her bitch, and will do whatever it takes to stay. They discuss who’s the next to go, and both agree that it’s Tai.

But Debbie’s smarter than the average bear and since this is her SECOND time playing, she knows how not to make a boo-boo. See what I did there? Her intention is to keep the original Nuku tribe solid and vote out Hali next, and later, when the four Nukus are together, that plan is confirmed.

6 thoughts on “SURVIVOR: GAME CHANGERS – 3/24/17

  1. Pingback: Latest on Rachel’s Filming & What Exactly is Considered a “Spoiler?” – Reality Steve

  2. I totally agree with you Fish. I don’t understand why you take out the strong players now. I guess they worry that once its individual immunity, then the strong players will win. But even that logic is flawed bc only one strong player can win immunity at a time, so you just take out which ever strong player doesn’t have it then. I hear ya on JT. He def. porked up. And doesn’t a million dollars at least buy you some straight teeth? Did he always have those jacked up teeth? He is even more back woods now than he was when he first played. How is that possible? I’m sure you will disagree with me since your little head probably has an opinion on Sierra that I can’t understand but MAN IS SHE ANNOYING. That shit eating grin she had on her face at tribal made me want to slap it off and the kiss she gave Malcolm was really mean, I thought. Kind of a Judas kiss actually. Brad is doing quite well. I read on a Survivor spoilers site that Brad is one of Jeff’s favorites and that’s why he’s getting such a great edit. I also heard Sandra and JT get voted out soon. I like Brad but him calling Hali “blue eyes” was slightly old man pervy creepy. I bet Miss Monica C. didn’t like that. Aubry, Zeke and Michela have been laying low too. Zeke reminds me of Rocky the Squirrel. That beaver/rodent face of his is also super annoying. I used to love Tai but find him baffling this season and he seems to be so easily manipulated. All you have to do is say, “Tai, play this game for yourself” and then tell him whatever you want him to think that means, and he’ll do it and thank you for giving him such great advice. My son Jack thinks Sandra looks like a mean school bus driver. Oh and Debbie, looks exactly like the actress playing the President Elect this season on Homeland. They must have been separated at birth. Google Elizabeth Marvel. Ok, that’s all I have. I can’t say I’m disappointed but outside of Cienna being voted out, all the people I wanted to watch play have been voted out so I’m becoming less and less interested in these people. Oh, one more rumor I head on that website. Apparently, Caleb was a total dick and everyone mostly hated him around camp this season. Not sure if it was true but interesting….

  3. “When JT bites,
    When the “Queen” bee stings,
    when I’m feeling sad… I simply remember my favorite things (Malcolm!!) and then I don’t feel so bad!”…. I wonder if I was the only one that sang that while I was reading it?
    Hey Fish – I am the infamous (HA!) boss that Rick refers to. The one that gives him Thursday as basically a day off so he can talk all things Survivor. Though after this episode, I may never let him speak of it again since I am in a deep depression now that Malcolm is gone and may never watch again. What are these “game changers” thinking?! IMO, none of the remaining players are worthy of winning this game. Well – I take that back. I would love to see an Ozzy win but I don’t think that will happen. Tai is a blubbering idiot, Sandra is an egotistical loud mouth, Hali and Sierra (who pissed me off by insulting Malcolm with that kiss at the end) are worthless, and don’t even get me started on Olive Oyl Debbie. Culpepper is at least playing the game at this point even if I haven’t liked the guys he has taken out. And I do like Aubrey but she has been relatively non-existent up to this point. This season is becoming one of my least favorites. I would love to see a season full of all the physical threats – that way they can’t use that as a reason to get rid of anyone.
    Anyway – love your recap as always. And will probably cave and watch next week and scream at the TV when they do something stupid like vote Ozzy off….However, I will definitely be throwing a party when the Queens reign is over!

  4. Oh man boss lady must be super angry to actually post . I may take a sick day Monday !!! We had the Survivor all physical threat discussion . Thursday . Its become the trendy play to keep goats and vote of the lions . Troyzan throws like a girl ( not boss lady though she is a helluva second basemen ) . I was embarrassed for him and his family after watching that ! That my friends is why some boys join the drama club !!! That tribal was wild ! Why they didnt follow through on project vote of the Queen is beyond me. Coffee for a reward ? Come on Probst ! Loosen the budget a little ! Have to admit loved the twist . It made for great drama ! Oregon one step closer to winning it all . No loyalty just who I picked in my bracket ! Till next week !

  5. kinbville – I’m dying laughing over the “mean school bus driver” comment. SPOT ON! And her use of double negatives makes me crazy (Nobody got no idol). In one interview, she was wearing khaki pants and a red shirt and the hubs actually googled if she works at Target.

    I’m in mourning over the loss of Malcolm. Not only was he fun to look at, but I really thought he stood a chance. JT is the biggest moron ever. I’m fuming over all this talk of voting out the strongest players first. That doesn’t make for fun TV viewing. Fish, I’m totally on board with a Survivor:Warriors season to see the best of the best fight it out. I couldn’t stand Brad in the past, but he’s actually playing a decent game this go round and isn’t nearly as obnoxious as I remember. And I’m so glad they’ve kept the Michaela commentary to a minimum. She would push me over the edge.

    I’m hoping to see more from Aubrey. She is one of my dark horse favorites to win.

  6. Hello, one and all, thank you for coming back!

    Kate — You’re right, it’s almost like a vote of fear. “That person can win immunity later so I’ll take him out now.” That’s dumb. Who knows if you’ll be around later so just take out gameplay threats… So dumb. And yeah, even I know I should go to the dentist. And I’m broke! Doesn’t JT wanna find some hot broad to divorce later? Fix those chompers, Gomer… I’m okay with your attitude on Sierra. I’ve never had a strong opinion on tall women because…ew… It’s like being in bed with a dude, with their legs all wrapped up around yours. I’m 6′-4″ so you’d think I’d like a tall chick to dance with, but when the f**k am I going dancing? I wanna little spinner who thinks I’m a sexy beast, not some freak show giant I met in a Dutch brothel… And don’t give me no spoilers! Who do you think I am…Reality Steve?! I don’t wanna know what’s gonna happen next week. Stop it, woman, or I’m gonna take Jack’s bartender license away… And yeah, “Blue Eyes” seems very creepy, pervy, chauvanistic, and just plain wrong. I’m surprised she didn’t say something. Based on Jack’s comment, I think I’ll refer to Sandra as “Otto” from now on. Let’s see if everyone gets the joke… I watch Homeland so I see what you’re saying. Off topic, I think Homeland thought Hillary was going to win and that’s why the President-Elect is female. Maybe I’m wrong… Interesting about Caleb. I can see it. And likely that CBS protects its “asset” by giving him a pretty good edit. XO

    bosslady — Welcome to the table, la Jefa! I love your lust of Malcolm. I wish I worked for you so I could tease you about your horny thoughts! That’s what I do! I agree with everything you’re saying. I’m hoping Ozzy, Brad, Varner, Sarah, Andrea, and Zeke go far, because everyone else is f**king annoying. Is it so much to ask for a good FT? I would love to come to St. Louis(?) and watch the finale with you guys. Let’s see how schedules line up…

    Rick — thanks for getting bosslady involved in the conversation. Don’t worry, you’re good to go. Not sure if Troyzan needs rotator cuff surgery, or if he’s just a pussy. I’ve played baseball/softball for decades, so I can judge, and right now, bosslady just moved up my “Sexy Chart” by being a Second Base(wo)man. As a former pitcher, 1st baseman, I’d love to get to Second Base with her… I saw a tweet from Coach that said at Tribal, “you don’t get up from your seat,” so the fact that Tribal fell apart, you know Probst has lost control. I hate to use the “jump the shark” phrase, but when the show loses control of it’s players, the show loses control. Coming from 25 years in Hollywood, you NEVER let your talent get the upperhand. Especially when your talent is a bunch of reality show dicks who think they’re real celebrities. News flash! They’re just people who agreed to sell themselves out. Stop thinking your shit doesn’t smell. Look at J.T. Does anyone feel inferior to him?

    Jen — Love your input, as always. That whole double negative thing makes me so angry. I ain’t got no time to appreciate Sandra when she talks like a hood rat…. Dude, two million dollars buys a lot of education, if desired. Or, she can just stay ghetto and fall back on her reality show wins like it means something… I’m okay with Aubry going deep. She should have won last time so she deserves it. I know it’s a game show so CBS has to follow certain rules, but for f**k’s sake, you’re making television, so control who does well. Manipulate the challenges to favor certain players and give some help to others. Keeping your viewing audience happy is how you guarantee future seasons, and that’s what’s important, right? Or did I just spend 25 years in television not understanding how it works…?

    Let’s see what happens this week. And please let me know who you think goes to FT…

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