March 24th, 2017 | 6 Comments | Posted in Survivor 34 - Game Changers

Both tribes file in, J.T. grabs fire for the first time, and takes his seat. Jeff opens what looks to become a very interesting Tribal Council, and his questions produce the following:

-Malcolm says that with all the Tribal Councils this group has experienced, NONE of them has been through one like this (not a bad twist, Jeff Probst, you Game Changer, you…)
-Brad says it’s a Mexican Standoff, to which Sandra said, “I ain’t even Mexican, puto!”
-Debbie outs J.T.
-J.T. says he’s between a “rockundaharplays” (Where are the subtitles?)
-Brad says there’s more threats on that team than this team
-The Queen says, “I know I’m not going home tonight, cash me ousside, how bout dah?”
-Malcolm says he’d be a potty mouth if he goes home tonight
-Varner says idols have been discussed…thoroughly
-Sierra says something…
-Michaela says nothing, and thankfully, hasn’t said ANYTHING all episode
-Debbie wants to know if J.T. or Hali is going to flip
-To which Brad says if Hali flips, she’s done.
-Hali throws logic at everyone and says, “If either tribe doesn’t have their s**t together, we’re gonna go to rocks”
-Sandra replies, “We got our s**t together…”
-Sierra informs Hali that “they” don’t need you, but “you” need us
-OMG, Michaela said something! Oh wait, I already forgot what it is…
-J.T. is distressed and has no idea what to do

This allows Sierra and Hali to whisper some things, which Malcolm can overhear. Hali chimes in that she thinks it’s time to remove physical threats, to which Sandra whispers to J.T. that Hali means Brad, and whispers it to others as well. Then, J.T. is whispering to Malcolm, and soon it’s chaos as we hear,

“I think it’s me”
“Stick with the plan”

…and then people are just getting up and totally disregarding anything Jeff wants and just having open whispered conversations with everyone else. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the players have become the free-range chickens and goats that are still living back at camp.

Pretty soon, Tribal Council is so confusing that even Jeff Probst doesn’t even know what to do anymore. He just stares in amazement as two factions are grouped in front of him. This may be the moment the show just jumped the shark, when not even Jeff can control the players. Get them to take their frickin’ seats, Jeff, and start acting like an Executive Producer again!

And hey, it was just announced Survivor was renewed for another two seasons, so let’s all make a drink and toast our favorite show. Okay, I just did. Got to refresh…

Ultimately, Debbie is so confused she asks Brad, “Whose name should I write down?” because she’s clearly not capable of making her own decisions. And on the other side, Sandra thinks Hali was implying she wants to target Brad, because he’s a physical threat, and doesn’t have an idol. Finally, everyone is just stumped who to vote for so they just take their seats, knowing it won’t get any better, and it can’t get any worse. Except for the person going home.

Another flurry of activity begins as Tai grabs Sierra’s face – a little too intimately? – and finally Sandra just says, “Enough” and “Stick with the plan!” People are still confused, especially Hali, who doesn’t know if she’s ready to vote. She eventually heads off, to which Jeff finally realizes he’s totally lost control of the show.

A few comments are made while voting, most importantly, from Varner,

“If you pull out an idol, I will soil myself,” which is exactly why we love Varner.

Jeff decides he should probably go grab the urn and requests Hidden Idols. And after a bit of prodding from Brad, Tai finally does something he’s supposed to do and plays the idol for…he doesn’t know. Of course he doesn’t know. He’s Tai. He doesn’t know how to play this frickin’ game, he just wants to feed chickens and hump trees. Brad finally has to point at Sierra, who’s more than happy to accept.

Jeff reads the votes:


Boom goes the misspellings as I’m shocked no one knows how to spell Malcolm. Really? And you guys call yourselves fans of the show? Malcolm is sick to his stomach and can’t even look at Probst as his torch is being snuffed. He leaves in a huff and you can tell he’s pissed. Sometimes one can “take it as a compliment” that they’re considered such a strong threat, but he’s not thinking of that right now. And this just shows how Sandra won two times. She can talk crap in front of everyone, and no one seems to view her as a threat. Whatever happened to voting out the most annoying?

And J.T. is…crying? Perturbed? In shock? I can’t tell as he shakes and covers his eyes.

Jeff lets everyone know that Survivor is still great because it’s entertaining and devastating, and still packs a wallop. He excuses everyone for the night, and as they’re leaving, Michaela whispers she thinks J.T. set them up by somehow not telling them about Tai’s idol, but who really knows what the truth is?

And for the love of all things holy, do I really need to say it again? I think I should…

Once again, a strong player was voted out. And yeah, you can say everyone wants a strong player out, but…why now? It’s not like Malcolm held the upper hand in any alliances. He went home because it’s the only way for weaker players to win. And it’s the only way for Brad to win. Once again, I got to say that Brad is getting a hell of an edit, because look at how this episode was constructed:

-Brad orchestrated the Caleb execution.
-Brad saves his tribe from despair and wins reward.
-Brad makes Hali understand how her loyalty is vital to her game NOW.
-Brad makes Tai understand that “his” idol is really “their” idol, and it must be played.
-And then he essentially must tell Tai who to play it for.

Man, we all knew this guy knew how to play but did we expect this much from him?

I still think there are larger “gameplay threats” (Sandra, Aubry, Hali, J.T.) left, but it’s just another example of the weak taking out the strong. This is the exact reason why I’m always lobbying for a “Survivor: Warriors” season, because I wanna see strong players fight it out against other strong players, and the only weak players involved are the ones sitting at home, wondering why their audition videos didn’t get past the first round of production assistants at Survivor Entertainment Group. Ah hell, why don’t you just go pay them a visit: 9899 S. Santa Monica Blvd., Beverly Hills, CA, 90212. Tell ‘em Fish sent you…!

And I must blow my own horn – since my wife is out of town – 3 out of 4 players voted out so far have been what I labelled “Perceived Threats,” so allow me to gloat a little about how well I know the game.

Next time on…Survivor!

J.T. is in the crosshairs as Michaela’s quip about whether he knew about Tai’s idol may have legs back at camp. And it looks like Debbie’s finally lost her mind as she’s screaming at Brad, Tai…and us. I didn’t know she was such a fan of Malcolm…

And during Malcolm’s final words, we see that tribes were split 6 Sierra/5 Malcolm, so what the hell is she so livid about? And seeing our Ivy League, assless, predecessor of Joe, incredibly emotional for going out like this, he reveals that he’ll never eat French fries with J.T. again. Man, I thought they were buds…

Well, that’s gonna rap it up for another week. Apologies again for last week’s delayed posting, but stuff happens. I’m hoping this season will suddenly take off, because I’m seeing a lot of disappointment in some of your comments. Perhaps it’s just the Game Changer theme, but it’s also all the dumb mistakes people are making. It’s the same complaint that many of us have been having about reality show “stars” for years: that they’re playing things up for the camera to make “good TV” but they’re forgetting that the “good tv” part is not their job. That’s for the editors and producers. Just go try to win the game and stop worrying about good soundbites.

What the hell do I know? My audition tapes suck too.

Oh well. Life has improved for Fish, I’m enjoying all my interactions with you guys, and my personal life is just peachy keen. Thanks for asking.

So, until next week, I’ll leave you with one final thought. It’s a quote from Henry David Thoreau’s Walden which I’ve probably mentioned here before. Enjoy…

“Whatever have been thy failures hitherto, be not afflicted, my child, for who shall assign to thee what thou hath left undone.”

With that, I’ll head to the icebox.

Hope you enjoy your week, I’ll be thinking about the basketball pool I got kicked out of because I called someone a “f**king snob.”

I’m so done with basketball…

Twitter: @BF_TheFish
AIM: or Bryan Fischer

6 thoughts on “SURVIVOR: GAME CHANGERS – 3/24/17

  1. Pingback: Latest on Rachel’s Filming & What Exactly is Considered a “Spoiler?” – Reality Steve

  2. I totally agree with you Fish. I don’t understand why you take out the strong players now. I guess they worry that once its individual immunity, then the strong players will win. But even that logic is flawed bc only one strong player can win immunity at a time, so you just take out which ever strong player doesn’t have it then. I hear ya on JT. He def. porked up. And doesn’t a million dollars at least buy you some straight teeth? Did he always have those jacked up teeth? He is even more back woods now than he was when he first played. How is that possible? I’m sure you will disagree with me since your little head probably has an opinion on Sierra that I can’t understand but MAN IS SHE ANNOYING. That shit eating grin she had on her face at tribal made me want to slap it off and the kiss she gave Malcolm was really mean, I thought. Kind of a Judas kiss actually. Brad is doing quite well. I read on a Survivor spoilers site that Brad is one of Jeff’s favorites and that’s why he’s getting such a great edit. I also heard Sandra and JT get voted out soon. I like Brad but him calling Hali “blue eyes” was slightly old man pervy creepy. I bet Miss Monica C. didn’t like that. Aubry, Zeke and Michela have been laying low too. Zeke reminds me of Rocky the Squirrel. That beaver/rodent face of his is also super annoying. I used to love Tai but find him baffling this season and he seems to be so easily manipulated. All you have to do is say, “Tai, play this game for yourself” and then tell him whatever you want him to think that means, and he’ll do it and thank you for giving him such great advice. My son Jack thinks Sandra looks like a mean school bus driver. Oh and Debbie, looks exactly like the actress playing the President Elect this season on Homeland. They must have been separated at birth. Google Elizabeth Marvel. Ok, that’s all I have. I can’t say I’m disappointed but outside of Cienna being voted out, all the people I wanted to watch play have been voted out so I’m becoming less and less interested in these people. Oh, one more rumor I head on that website. Apparently, Caleb was a total dick and everyone mostly hated him around camp this season. Not sure if it was true but interesting….

  3. “When JT bites,
    When the “Queen” bee stings,
    when I’m feeling sad… I simply remember my favorite things (Malcolm!!) and then I don’t feel so bad!”…. I wonder if I was the only one that sang that while I was reading it?
    Hey Fish – I am the infamous (HA!) boss that Rick refers to. The one that gives him Thursday as basically a day off so he can talk all things Survivor. Though after this episode, I may never let him speak of it again since I am in a deep depression now that Malcolm is gone and may never watch again. What are these “game changers” thinking?! IMO, none of the remaining players are worthy of winning this game. Well – I take that back. I would love to see an Ozzy win but I don’t think that will happen. Tai is a blubbering idiot, Sandra is an egotistical loud mouth, Hali and Sierra (who pissed me off by insulting Malcolm with that kiss at the end) are worthless, and don’t even get me started on Olive Oyl Debbie. Culpepper is at least playing the game at this point even if I haven’t liked the guys he has taken out. And I do like Aubrey but she has been relatively non-existent up to this point. This season is becoming one of my least favorites. I would love to see a season full of all the physical threats – that way they can’t use that as a reason to get rid of anyone.
    Anyway – love your recap as always. And will probably cave and watch next week and scream at the TV when they do something stupid like vote Ozzy off….However, I will definitely be throwing a party when the Queens reign is over!

  4. Oh man boss lady must be super angry to actually post . I may take a sick day Monday !!! We had the Survivor all physical threat discussion . Thursday . Its become the trendy play to keep goats and vote of the lions . Troyzan throws like a girl ( not boss lady though she is a helluva second basemen ) . I was embarrassed for him and his family after watching that ! That my friends is why some boys join the drama club !!! That tribal was wild ! Why they didnt follow through on project vote of the Queen is beyond me. Coffee for a reward ? Come on Probst ! Loosen the budget a little ! Have to admit loved the twist . It made for great drama ! Oregon one step closer to winning it all . No loyalty just who I picked in my bracket ! Till next week !

  5. kinbville – I’m dying laughing over the “mean school bus driver” comment. SPOT ON! And her use of double negatives makes me crazy (Nobody got no idol). In one interview, she was wearing khaki pants and a red shirt and the hubs actually googled if she works at Target.

    I’m in mourning over the loss of Malcolm. Not only was he fun to look at, but I really thought he stood a chance. JT is the biggest moron ever. I’m fuming over all this talk of voting out the strongest players first. That doesn’t make for fun TV viewing. Fish, I’m totally on board with a Survivor:Warriors season to see the best of the best fight it out. I couldn’t stand Brad in the past, but he’s actually playing a decent game this go round and isn’t nearly as obnoxious as I remember. And I’m so glad they’ve kept the Michaela commentary to a minimum. She would push me over the edge.

    I’m hoping to see more from Aubrey. She is one of my dark horse favorites to win.

  6. Hello, one and all, thank you for coming back!

    Kate — You’re right, it’s almost like a vote of fear. “That person can win immunity later so I’ll take him out now.” That’s dumb. Who knows if you’ll be around later so just take out gameplay threats… So dumb. And yeah, even I know I should go to the dentist. And I’m broke! Doesn’t JT wanna find some hot broad to divorce later? Fix those chompers, Gomer… I’m okay with your attitude on Sierra. I’ve never had a strong opinion on tall women because…ew… It’s like being in bed with a dude, with their legs all wrapped up around yours. I’m 6′-4″ so you’d think I’d like a tall chick to dance with, but when the f**k am I going dancing? I wanna little spinner who thinks I’m a sexy beast, not some freak show giant I met in a Dutch brothel… And don’t give me no spoilers! Who do you think I am…Reality Steve?! I don’t wanna know what’s gonna happen next week. Stop it, woman, or I’m gonna take Jack’s bartender license away… And yeah, “Blue Eyes” seems very creepy, pervy, chauvanistic, and just plain wrong. I’m surprised she didn’t say something. Based on Jack’s comment, I think I’ll refer to Sandra as “Otto” from now on. Let’s see if everyone gets the joke… I watch Homeland so I see what you’re saying. Off topic, I think Homeland thought Hillary was going to win and that’s why the President-Elect is female. Maybe I’m wrong… Interesting about Caleb. I can see it. And likely that CBS protects its “asset” by giving him a pretty good edit. XO

    bosslady — Welcome to the table, la Jefa! I love your lust of Malcolm. I wish I worked for you so I could tease you about your horny thoughts! That’s what I do! I agree with everything you’re saying. I’m hoping Ozzy, Brad, Varner, Sarah, Andrea, and Zeke go far, because everyone else is f**king annoying. Is it so much to ask for a good FT? I would love to come to St. Louis(?) and watch the finale with you guys. Let’s see how schedules line up…

    Rick — thanks for getting bosslady involved in the conversation. Don’t worry, you’re good to go. Not sure if Troyzan needs rotator cuff surgery, or if he’s just a pussy. I’ve played baseball/softball for decades, so I can judge, and right now, bosslady just moved up my “Sexy Chart” by being a Second Base(wo)man. As a former pitcher, 1st baseman, I’d love to get to Second Base with her… I saw a tweet from Coach that said at Tribal, “you don’t get up from your seat,” so the fact that Tribal fell apart, you know Probst has lost control. I hate to use the “jump the shark” phrase, but when the show loses control of it’s players, the show loses control. Coming from 25 years in Hollywood, you NEVER let your talent get the upperhand. Especially when your talent is a bunch of reality show dicks who think they’re real celebrities. News flash! They’re just people who agreed to sell themselves out. Stop thinking your shit doesn’t smell. Look at J.T. Does anyone feel inferior to him?

    Jen — Love your input, as always. That whole double negative thing makes me so angry. I ain’t got no time to appreciate Sandra when she talks like a hood rat…. Dude, two million dollars buys a lot of education, if desired. Or, she can just stay ghetto and fall back on her reality show wins like it means something… I’m okay with Aubry going deep. She should have won last time so she deserves it. I know it’s a game show so CBS has to follow certain rules, but for f**k’s sake, you’re making television, so control who does well. Manipulate the challenges to favor certain players and give some help to others. Keeping your viewing audience happy is how you guarantee future seasons, and that’s what’s important, right? Or did I just spend 25 years in television not understanding how it works…?

    Let’s see what happens this week. And please let me know who you think goes to FT…

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