SURVIVOR: MILLENNIALS VS GEN X RECAP – 11/11/16

Upon returning to camp, they celebrate Will’s victory, but the real discussions of who needs to go home begin almost immediately. No one seems too interested in getting cleaned up for some reason, but I guess they’re just used to looking and smelling like s**t by now.

Adam heads off giving Jay the opportunity to discuss with Hannah and Michelle the idea of taking him out tonight, since he was plotting to get rid of Will. Michelle is smart enough to know this decision smacks of emotions rather than strategy, and let’s Jay know it. There are many other targets to take out first on the Gen-X side, plus, Adam “doesn’t have the numbers” to do anything later. She’s annoyed the boys are playing dumb…

But Jay and Will are set on taking Adam out because he was gunning for them, and the most common occurrence on Survivor is that if you target someone and they find out, you’ll be targeted by them.

At the water tank, Zeke tells Adam (with Jessica present) about overhearing Taylor and Jay discussing that Adam was targeting Will. Now that the Will plan is done, Adam rethinks what he needs to do, and theorizes taking out Taylor, since he screwed him. But…he knows he’s partially to blame for playing so hard, so maybe he needs to re-evaluate who he’s willing to work with to go deep in the game.

He gathers a few Gen-Xers (Chris, Ken, David, with Zeke there) and tells them he’s willing to write down whomever they want. Zeke suggests a Taylor vote, but David says he’s worried TayTay may have an idol. Zeke says he thinks Jay may have an idol, which means he could play it or give it to Taylor. Since they can’t come to a consensus on who to take out, Adam suggests taking out Michelle, since no one would suspect it.

Yet, with no clear agreement between this group, Adam confesses he may need to go to his “Double Secret” plan and see who Taylor wants to take out, since he still wants to maintain the bro-down he had when TayTay got the munchies a couple nights ago. They discuss it was a mistake to target Will so early, and since Taylor isn’t stupid (did I just write that?) he can see that Adam is scrambling.

However, a secondary result of what Adam is doing, is that by scrambling this much, no one thinks he’s holding an idol. So that’s – unintentionally, I’m sure – a smart move. But with no clear-cut person to target, who will the axe fall upon?

David and Hannah are close by, observing all these conversations going on without them, and begin to wonder if Adam might be flipping on them. Since he’s clearly playing his own game, the Freaks & Geeks alliance may not last much longer if Adam can’t pull his s**t together. And since Zeke is always thinking clearly, there’s a possibility that Adam’s anxiety may spell his own doom…

I’m just wondering if even with Adam holding all these secrets that can save him, he can’t screw this up and go home tonight, can he?

And why the hell isn’t anyone taking a friggin’ dip in the ocean to wash off!? Hannah, wipe your f**king nose! And can someone tell Adam his back is filthy!? I’d be like, “dude, you’re a mess, let’s go take a dip…” What the hell is wrong with everyone?

Adam ponders that he could just play the idol and be safe, or he could play it, and not need it, and then “look like a chump,” but who cares about that once it’s gone down? I think all of Adam’s insecurities in life are coming out, just like a few people in this cast need to publicly…

Off to Tribal we go and it’s the biggest one of the season…13 participants. Jeff queries the masses…

-David reveals the Millennials are eating a lot more food (burn on Taylor)
-Bret finally reveals to everyone that it was Taylor who stole the food (burn on Taylor)
-Jeff discovers everyone is starving (burn on Taylor)
-Hannah wants to eat Jeff (burn on nobody, baby, that’s just sexy…)
-Jeff wonders if Taylor’s behavior is just a byproduct of being a Millennial (burn on Millennials)
-Chris says, “no, it’s just being selfish.” (burn on Taylor)
-Taylor says he was just hungry and it was a “medical emergency” (burn on anyone who’s ever been evacuated from Survivor)
-Zeke cleverly points out that it’s a game, and “delayed gratification” should be obvious (burn on Taylor, geez, it looks like Taylor may be going home, amIright?)
-But he’s a “chill bro” (burn on…the Germans who bombed Pearl Harbor — ”Forget it, he’s rolling”)
-Adam confirms there are alliances other than Gen-X vs. Millennials (burn on anyone who doesn’t know how to play)
-David offers “it’s the people I trust vs. the people you trust” (no burn, just deep)
-Jay and Michelle concur
-Will says there are “prevailing objectives” in addition to trust now…
-Taylor just lives by the code “let’s get it on”
-Adam doesn’t, and needs to change his underpants about now…
-This is where the fun begins…

Votes are cast and Jeff asks for Hidden Immunity Idols. There’s no way Adam can’t play his – right? – since he’s already feeling like Taylor may be gunning for him. But as Adam looks around, it seems no one is looking directly at him to see if he’s going to play an idol, so I guess he thinks knows one knows he has one and he wants to keep it that way. Let’s hope that works out for you, George Costanza. He remains seated…

Jeff reads the votes:

Adam
Michelle
Adam
Michelle
Adam
Michelle
Adam
Michelle
Michelle
Michelle
Michelle

And Boom! goes the New Testament… Put that in your bible and smoke it! And WTF, another female is gone from the cast. This is a conspiracy! It’s Survivor: Mancave still. Don’t worry, I’m looking up the NOW website right now for a complaint form.

So Michelle rises – like a Holy Ghost – grabs her torch, and heads over to Jeff. Will mouths “Damn” as he stares at her sexy little booty walking away…

But you know she was raised right and has nothing negative to say – you hear that, Michaela, you bitch!? – and begins floating down the path away from Tribal Council on the cloud of heavenly fog that took out the firstborn Egyptians…

But suddenly, she turns and screams back at the remaining players, “Remember, remember, the 9th of November, bitches! Revelation 22:12 motherf**kers…!” as she disappears into the dense jungle.

I seriously thought I was watching “Apocalypse Now” for a second, because she’s reminding me of Dennis Hopper, or Sam Bottoms, or that tiger who jumped at Martin Sheen and Frederic Forrest. Not sure…it may be the alcohol playing tricks on my mind…

In next week’s episode, Adam will be playing puppet-master and telling Jay where he stands in the game, making Jay’s “Kingpin” comment sound a little stupid right now. And Taylor plays the only card he has left and tells Jay about Adam’s Reward Advantage, which they might reveal to everyone.

Well, that about wraps things up tonight. I hope you enjoyed a little escape from reality…by watching some reality. As we all know, there are interesting times ahead for all of us. Not sure what’ll happen, but something tells me the next few years are going to get very heated…and I ain’t just talking about global warming.

Which does exist, by the way. It’s not the Chinese…

Tonight, I’ll leave you with a little something I heard on the radio this morning. And yeah, there are better places to find philosophical suggestions or words of advice, but it just hit me right in the feels so I thought I’d share it with you.

Look, we’re all racing around, trying to be good people, right? Trying to be good husbands, wives, parents, kids, friends, employees, bosses, whatever… (You ARE trying to be good, I hope…).

And in this Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Robots world (remember those?) many of us are focusing on other people so much that you forget about taking care of yourself. We’re all guilty of it to a degree, and it’s especially true of all the parents out there fighting the good fight to make sure your kids are happy and healthy little monsters. And while you’re burning the candle at both ends, it’s really easy to feel like you’re running on empty. So what I heard this morning that really sunk in is this…

When you’re out there, busting your butt to take care of all these other people, remember these words of advice:

“You can’t fill someone else’s cup with yours empty.”

Boom. Tell me that didn’t hit you right in the ‘nads. I know it did me. (There’s a number of reasons why it affected me so much, but let’s keep this about you guys right now). I’m sure you can infer what you want from it, but this is my take:

Don’t forget to spoil yourself once in a while too. Because you can’t keep taking care of everyone else when your tank is on E…

Hope it hits you somewhere close to where it hit me. If not…go listen to your god*amn heavy metal and GET OFF MY LAWN!

Waitress! Another fruity cocktail!
Fish

Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
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