SURVIVOR: MILLENNIALS VS GEN X RECAP – 11/11/16

Taylor decides it time to get to know people (seriously, bruh, on Day 21?) and starts by announcing he’s a snowboard instructor. Uh, dude, there’s only 3 ladies left – Jessica (married), Sunday (married), and Hannah (a stooge) – so whose pants are you trying to get in with this “snowboard instructor” humblebrag? And wait, don’t you have a baby momma back home?! Jeez, the noive of this guy. “Moe, Larry, the cheese…”

Bret is happy he doesn’t have to keep spinning the funeral director yarn, and confesses he’s happy to be back with Chris and Sunday, and would like to include his new buddy, Jay, but the way Jay’s bonding with the Millennials has Magnum’s bro-dar on High…

He takes a walk with Chris and they confirm they’re still good – along with David and Sunday – but Chris knows he’s got a few things to figure out. With his new core alliance with David and Zeke, he knows he’s got something good, especially if he can include Bret and Sunday in that group.

Zeke, Adam and Hannah head off to collect water and quickly reestablish their Freaks and Zekes alliance. And what makes this group even better is that they can all offer insight into the other tribes, since they were all at separate camps.

Hannah relays the whole MichOnka blindside, which tells Zeke that Jay is masterminding a few things. And now that he’s seeing how some of the other “cool dudes” – Ken and Chris – connecting with Jay, Zeke is beginning to worry about a possible “bro-lliance” forming. Wow, sounds like Zeke stole my line…

Later that day (Day 21 still) everyone’s still feasting on the merge gift basket when Adam decides he’s eaten enough – or smart enough – to know there might be a new Hidden Immunity idol in play. And since he’s the only one to have found an idol at the Vanua camp, he’s the most qualified to find another one.

He pokes around a few trees and then walks up to the Treemail hut and looks around. Nothing. He glances up, and tied to the palm frond roof is a scroll, but no idol. He retrieves it and reads that he’s just won an Advantage in the game, which is that he can steal someone’s Reward Challenge AFTER they win it.

This is another new twist in the game, and I think it’s kinda cool when the show proves they’re still trying to give us some new things to chew on. All in favor, say “Aye.”

Adam is back to speaking too loudly in his confessional, but I’ll cut him some slack since he’s clearly super excited to be a part of Survivor history. And in a clear case of a Freudian slip, he says he’s going to “sit on this” scroll and wait to use it. So I guess it’s the Sybian Advantage…?

The sun sets on Day 21 and Taylor gets a night boner… I mean, an idea. Since everyone’s asleep and he’s “pretty good with mason jars” – which, I believe, means he figured out how to open one – he decides he’s going to execute a “classic Survivor move” (you can’t make this s**t up) and steal a bunch of the food for himself to eat…right now.

However, Magnum is pulling his own classic Survivor move and HEARING this go down, but he’s too chicken-s**t to call the kid out on his theft. He doesn’t like what he sees (or hears) but he’s too scared to get involved in anything controversial. There you go, guys, Boston’s finest making a bold statement about standing up for what’s right…

But Adam also hears Taylor’s Folly and decides he needs to have a bro-down with Taylor so he can build trust with the one guy who could possibly be on the chopping block right now for his actions.

I don’t know, I think this smells more like a producer woke Adam up to tell him to go talk with Taylor, because why would you put yourself in this situation? Taylor could instantly say that Adam and him discussed doing this all day, and then what did that Advantage and Hidden Idol get you? Nothing. What a “great” player you are, kid…a great player…

He sits with Taylor away from camp and instead of partaking in the spoils (“I’m not hungry”) he reveals to him that Jay and Will have become super tight, and it makes a lot of sense to vote out Will first, meaning Taylor will become Jay’s #2 again. (Don’t need to make a joke about that).

With Taylor doing everything he can to not make eye contact – dude, it’s nighttime, it doesn’t matter – he goes along with whatever Adam is telling him, but confesses he doesn’t want to work with the guy who voted out his side-bi**h. Taylor calls Adam dumb, and says he ain’t gonna work with The Screamer, but wants him to think they can work together.

For some inexplicable reason, Adam tells Taylor about the Advantage he just found, and this just makes me think he’s:

A: secretly in love with Taylor
B: just trying to get more camera time
C: stupid

Because Taylor isn’t even asking him questions about it. Adam is just revealing every aspect of the note. What a maroon, what an ignoramus… I swear, this guy’s game is going downhill so fast I think I should call him Sisyphus…and he thinks he’s running the game?!

Yet, he clearly needs someone to give him lessons on doing the hand-jive, because his needs work…

The next morning, a few of the Gen-Xers want some breakfast and are discussing how some of the food is missing. NOW Bret opens up that it was Taylor so he and Chris chat about how close the Millennials have stayed and it may be time to take one of them out. Jay, Taylor and Michelle are all super close, they’re noticing, so it may be wise to take one of them down while the Gen-Xers (with Zeke’s vote) have the numbers.

Another discussion confirms it may be time to make that move, but David thinks it may be too early, because everyone is still plotting their own course to Final Tribal. And as he discusses the various scenarios, I’m thinking there are a lot of people possibly on the chopping block tonight:

Jay
Taylor
Michelle
Will
Adam
Sunday

Good job, Survivor, keeping us guessing! It’s now Day 23 and Taylor can’t keep things to himself anymore. He sits down with Jay and reveals what Adam said to him about taking out Will next, and the whole “Will is Jay’s right-hand man,” meaning Adam will be eventually gunning for Jay. While Jay would prefer to have Gen-Xers flipping on themselves first, he’s clearly not happy to get this news, and has to figure out what makes the most sense.

Nearby, Zeke is spying on this “bro-fabulation” and realizes he needs to get his Geek Alliance together to combat Jay’s coterie of Beautiful People. Taylor then pulls Will aside and tells him a lot of names are getting tossed around, including his. Which is just what an 18-year-old doesn’t need to hear, considering he still sleeps with a pacifier. Baby Will confesses it’s imperative he wins immunity, because everything Taylor says is absolutely 100% a lock, right…?

To the Immunity Challenge we go and I’m still trying to figure out in Google Maps which island they’re on exactly. I know it was shot in the Mamanuca Islands in Fiji, but I can’t pinpoint which one(s) exactly. It’s dumb, I know, but I like that stuff… If anyone has a call sheet from the production, would love to see it (I think Russell Hantz leaked one years ago).

From the challenge preview I saw online, I know this will be a “hands over head keeping a bucket of colorful dishwater” from falling on you. It’s brought to us by the people at Ivory soap, so you can guess how each bucket’s contents taste.

I remember Shii Ann winning this challenge in Survivor: All-Stars, because I thought Shii Ann was sexy af – TBH, I wanted to screw any Asian on television in 2004 – and loved how she won it when she had to and then threw it in everyone’s faces… F**k you, Alicia!

This challenge, however, requires players to stand on a narrower perch – not a flat tree stump – and keep both hands above their heads. Shii Ann lasted over 2 hours, so let’s see how this group fares. Obviously, having strength has something to do with it, but I think too muscular will work against most of the guys.

Here are the Cliff Notes…

-Jeff calls attention to the fact this challenge is a “blast from the past,” which I’m happy to hear, and mentions the slight upgrades they’ve made to make it harder.
-Sunday is out quick, followed soon by Chris and Bret
-After 10 minutes, everyone’s grossed out by each other’s unshaven/non-deodorant armpits, causing Jay and Zeke to take a seat. Is armpit hair sexy? Maybe if this was Survivor: Berlin. Geez Kirhoffer, couldn’t you provide a razor beforehand? It doesn’t have to be a total reality show…
-Hannah starts to have a panic attack, which makes Ken lose focus and drop. Followed by Hannah.
-Another 10 minutes passes and Michelle takes a seat. Taylor, David, and Adam all drop out as well, leaving only Will and Jessica.
-Surprisingly, an hour passes, and then another 30 minutes.
-They’re still 30 minutes away from Shii Ann’s record, but hell, that was shot almost 13 years ago (Dec. 2nd 2003, to be exact) meaning Will was only 5, so he wouldn’t remember such things.
-Even though both look strong, Jessica seems to be wavering a bit more now, even though she’s keeping her wits about her. She’s not getting distracted by a bug (Boston Rob) or any of the other elements. She’s looking tough!
-Hell, if I was doing this my back would’ve tightened up over an hour ago, so I’ll give props to these youngsters (37 is still young to me!).
-Out of nowhere, Jessica’s bucket shoots it’s load on her (sorry, had to go there) and Nate Morris wins the Immunity Necklace. And boy, did he need it.

Jessica looks drained, and emotional, and Adam laments his plans have been ruined. Everyone trudges back to camp, hopefully to wash their clothes in a “nice tub of Ivory Soap, featuring all the colors of the rainbow, including gray..”