December 15th, 2017 | 2 Comments | Posted in Survivor 35 - H vs. H vs H

Once again, my friends, we’ve reached the penultimate episode, and what an appropriate word since there’s a urologist this season. Should we then call it the peen-ultimate episode? Not sure that’s as funny as I think, so let’s just say it’s the second-to-last episode and move on. There’s already been way too many dick jokes about Dr. Mike, and I’m having trouble finding new ways to work Viagra and boners into my recaps…

Lots to get to tonight since we’re getting down to the nitty-gritty, and you know the show is going to amp up the drama. Happens every season. I’m guessing we’re in for a good episode tonight, because the last thing a show wants is a boring episode in the penis-ultimate one…

In case you saw the comment I made on last week’s episode, I posted a link to where you can see who the cast is for next season. I’m not gonna mention the theme because I know some of you may want to find that out while watching the Reunion show, but let’s just say the unofficial theme of next season should be Millennials vs. Millennials. I’ll leave it at that.

However, there is one MILF in there named Angela Perkins who looks like she’d be a lot of fun to share a beer with, or go to the shooting range with, or bone…

Alright, let’s dive into tonight’s episode but I have one more thing to drop on you. I’ll wait ‘til the end of the recap to spill that news but let’s just say it’s a Big Announcement. Hopefully, the good people at Burnett’s Vodka are doing their jobs and getting me stinking drunk, thus giving me time to reconsider my big news. We’ll see. Let’s hit “play” and crack open this 60-minute coconut (thank god) and see if this cast can make me as anxious as I was last night watching the election results from Alabama. Can someone say…blindside? And mysteriously, the episode is entitled, “The Survivor Devil,” so I’m beginning to wonder who that might be…

Previously on…Survivor!

-The Burger Alliance mutinied on their shift manager.
-While the manager pulled a “Wentworth” and foiled everyone’s plan, producing the worst “I’m a dumbs**t” smile, EVER on Survivor (that’s Lauren, BTW).

“6 are left, who will be voted out tonight!”

So, is everyone thinking Ben has a huge target on his back right now? Six votes against. No idol anymore. Everyone’s plotting against him. I really hope Ben goes on a Mike Holloway level of Immunity wins and f**ks up everyone’s game, because he earned it with his Wentworth. And can we just take a moment to remember how gorgeous Kelley Wentworth was…?

Hmmm…. Ahhhh…. “Tito, I need a tissue!”

Night 33 and the Solewas return to camp, and it’s clearly the Burger Man vs. the Vegetarians now.

“That’s how you play an idol!” is Mike’s statement, but you know this group is clearly set on taking out Ben next. He’s claiming he drew the votes to him so he could be the sole person deciding who went home, but I don’t think that’s how I’d describe it.

“Anyone wanna go get water with me…?” Ben asks.


Okay, looks like we know who’s working the grill, fryer, and register tonight… And possibly searching for an idol all by himself. Let’s see what transpires.

As soon as Ben leaves, everyone – mostly Chrissy – is saying “Ben is going home next. No question. No debate. No mathematical odds need to be calculated.” She’s adamant he goes home next, or that one of the Vegetarians win Immunity, because right now, everyone’s in awe of Ben.

“He’s amazing,” is all Ryan can say with dreamy eyes…

And they all agree no one would stand a chance next to him at Final Tribal, meaning this six is as united as ANY six has been in the history of Survivor. We now know who the “Survivor Devil” is because Devon just called out Ben for how he turned the game upside down.

When Ben returns – no idol found, apparently – Devon tells him he voted out the wrong player, because Devon’s gonna take him out next Immunity Challenge. Giving Ben the confirmation he didn’t exactly need to know he’s on the outs.

“Final six guys, congrats,” Chrissy and Ryan announce, trying to get under Ben’s skin. But I don’t think they realize they’re talking to a Marine who’s faced a real enemy…and real bullets. So, I’m pretty sure the actuary and the bellhop’s threats are a joke to him. Note to actuaries and bellhops: You’re a bunch of pussies. Don’t ever think you’re a threat to ANYONE.


  1. First of all, I’m so sad to hear that you’re stepping down next season. I understand, but I do look forward to your recaps each week. I’m really going to miss you. I looked at the cast list for next season and am not overly impressed. Maybe they’ll surprise us. I’m just outside the millennial cut-off, so I can’t make too much fun of them; but recently the younger players haven’t done such a hot job of things.

    As for this season, I’m just kind of apathetic towards everyone left. I don’t despise anyone, but I also don’t love anybody. I’d be okay if either Devon or Ben wins. The hubs thinks Ben doesn’t stand a chance in hell because he’s pissed off too many jury members. I agree, I suppose. His social game has been hit and miss. At least he’s actually been trying to play. I feel like everyone else just sort of coasted along. As a person, I like Ryan but I’ll be upset if he wins since he really hasn’t done anything. Mike’s in a similar boat. He’s tried, but hasn’t made any big game changing moves. I did laugh at the idol in the fire play, though. But really, he was mostly just a minion for whichever group was in charge. He strictly voted the way people told him to. Devon’s played a fairly solid game and I think is smarter than he comes across. Plus, he has pretty eyes 🙂

    I hope those finale tickets come through! Man, I’d love to get to one of those someday.

  2. Hey Jen! Thanks for your comment. And sorry to be stepping down. I’m going to miss the opportunity to make a few of you laugh. I do hope I can maintain some connection to the show/my readers, either through Twitter or this site in some way, or YouTube, or something else, it’s just the writing that’s gotten to be too much. I’ll figure something out.

    I’m hoping a young(er) cast will prompt more drama between players. I wouldn’t mind seeing a few of these Power Couples hooking up for some snogging and cuddling in the shelter. It may not be a smart strategy, but it’ll make for some good tv (and that’s what we really want, right?).

    I see only Ben or Chrissy winning at this point. At one point, they were ruling the game, and with his idol finding and her alliance prowess, I don’t see any other potential. Devon could have had a chance, but I think he pissed off a few voting out Lauren so early. We’ll see. Ryan and Mike are goats…

    No luck on the finale tickets. Didn’t pick me again, 3rd season in a row… Ho-hum. Would have been nice to have “ended” things with that, but there’s always next season. Alrighty then, one more to go. Let’s hope things finish strong. I keep hearing how tomorrow’s episode has a big twist to it. We’ll see…

    Thanks for all the love…

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