December 8th, 2017 | 3 Comments | Posted in Survivor 35 - H vs. H vs H

Back at camp, the victors and Loved Ones are enjoying the BBQ and feeding tidbits of information to their partners. Chrissy informs her hubby she hasn’t been aligned with Dr. Mike, but since he slipped Keith a pack of blue pills, she’s now gonna work with him. She also confesses to us she picked Ashley because she thinks the lifeguard may be the easiest to turn on the Burger Alliance, and hopes Ashley is keeping an open mind.

The two women (and their Loved Ones) step away to have a chat, but this is essentially about Chrissy propositioning Ashley that now may be the time to turn on Ben. Surprisingly, Ashley tells her she’s considering it. So, both alliances have a common target (Ben), but is now the right time to make that happen?

Later, Ben is busy using those skills he learned at the Joe Anglim School of Fake Idolatry and fashioning a dummy idol out of items that could actually be a real idol. Where did he get all these trinkets? His plan is to hide this fake idol, and if Chrissy or Ryan find it, they’ll stop looking for the real idol, giving Ben more time to look for the real one. That seems like a lot of moving parts to keep in check, but Ben is confident, and I don’t think Survivor would dedicate this much screen time to something that wasn’t going to happen. Let’s see if my Editorial knowledge pays off…

When Ben returns to camp, he shows off his handiwork to Devon, who’s stoked Ben has this much creativity in him, but Lauren isn’t as impressed. She’s beginning to think Ben’s attempt to embarrass Chrissy reeks more of a personal vendetta than anything else, and is not keen on that strategy. As the three remaining “Burgers” scope out a location to hide the fake idol, Lauren suddenly stumbles onto a real clue.

She immediately alerts the guys – dumb move there, Freddie Lynn – and reads them the clue. Basically, she’s found half an idol, and can retrieve the other half at the next Immunity Challenge. But so could the other guys, so what’s the point of having half an idol that can’t be married to its counterpart? We’ll see after the commercial break.

Day 33 and it’s time for that Immunity Challenge. We pan around the challenge course and eventually land on the shell that Lauren will need to grab to complete her Hidden Immunity Idol. Let’s see if one of the Burgers Boys steals it before her… Jeff calls everyone in and takes the necklace back from Chrissy. The challenge will require everyone to push their fingertips against two discs on either side of them. Once a disc falls, they’re out. Seems pretty straightforward…

Everyone takes their place and this challenge is under way. We can see Lauren’s shell is directly in front of her – what a coincidence! – but does she want to fall out of the challenge just to complete her idol? That seems like a good plan. Or does she want to win Immunity and guarantee ANOTHER Immunity for herself? Let’s find out…

-After 15 minutes, Ben and Chrissy are adjusting repeatedly, as well as Ryan, who’s arms are as thin as Courtney’s from China.
-All of a sudden, it seems everyone is struggling, but when all is said and done, Ben is the first one to drop out. That surprises me.
-Chrissy then drops her discs, basking in the glory of outlasting Ben for a few seconds longer than the Marine.
-Ryan/Courtney drops out next.
-Lauren then voluntarily quits, and then deftly picks up the seashell in front of her station.
-After 30 minutes, Ashley finally shows a moment of slippage.
-Devon hulas his way through a tough spot.
-Dr. Viagra goes flaccid and slips out…
-When it comes down to it, Devon and Ashley know their alliance is solid, so Devon begins negotiating a truce. It’s negotiated the loser will get a shoulder massage, so Devon drops out and allows Ashley to claim Immunity. And I’m wondering if Ashley knows that Devon refers to his penis as his “shoulder,” so things could get interesting later…

As we head to break, Lauren confesses that with the Immunity Idol she just acquired, it’ll be the 4 Burger Alliance votes sending either Chrissy, Ryan or Mike home. And what makes me think it won’t be this easy…?

The tribe returns to camp and Ashley is given the props she deserves for winning the challenge. Devon claims he only threw it to get the massage, and based on Ashley’s reaction, it looks like she’s not into giving massages. At least to unshowered dudes who think they deserve one.

Ashley confesses how amazing it is to have that necklace, but also realizes she doesn’t have many “big moves” on her resume – it’s that damn Survivor “resume” again! – so she thinks she needs to take out a big player, and that could spell trouble for Ben.

She takes a walk with Lauren and Devon and drops that bomb, but Devon thinks Chrissy may be a bigger challenge threat than the Marine.


As they continue to debate which of these two are the bigger threat, Ben sneaks up and pulls a Tony “Spy Shack.” He hides behind his Spy Palm and hears his name dropped, so he casually strolls up and they instantly freeze and start playing dumb. Kinda easy for this crew as they all seem to be VERY used to playing dumb in their real lives. Honestly, if these cats think they’re getting away with anything, I’d be very surprised. And I’d be very surprised if the collective IQ of these 4 players is over 400. Just not seeing any Mensa candidates present…

But Ben is smart enough to realize he’s a target now and will do whatever it takes to keep his butt in the game, and considering he has a Hidden Immunity Idol, I don’t think he has much to worry about tonight…

He finds the Boner Whisperer to discuss how close Devon and Ashley are, and Ben tells him Lauren has become too powerful now that she has a Hidden Immunity Idol AND an Advantage. Ben then takes a walk with Ryan to let him know the same, who’s obviously down with anything, since it means HE’S not on the chopping block tonight. But for this to work, Chrissy and Ben must work together, and right now, the only thing they wanna do is stay clear of each other…or f**k. Sexual tension between starving people is a mother**ker.

Chrissy finds Devon and lets him know there are “big threats in this game,” and as soon as Ben walks up, Devon scampers off, afraid to be seen having an adult conversation with anyone. But when Ben confronts Chrissy about what she was discussing with the surfer, she throws a ton of shade at Ben – totally justifiable – considering what he’s done to her lately. But Ben is flummoxed that she would not want to make amends and blow him off camera.

“She just blew me off,” is what he confesses, which is why my last sentence was typed…

Ben really doesn’t want to play his idol tonight, so he pulls Chrissy into the jungle to have a “Franken” discussion with his former ally. He tells her that he still wants to work with her, despite everything he’s done to screw up her game. He spills about Lauren’s Advantage and Hidden Idol, and tells Chrissy that if they can successfully get rid of Lauren, the new “Foreskin Foursome” can control things.

She’s leery about trusting Ben, but she also doesn’t mind not being a target. Mike then shares a conversation with Chrissy about their options, and he tells us she’s thinking emotionally more than anything else. Let’s see if he can convince her to start playing with her head again, instead of her heart. When he doesn’t get that confirmation from her, he confesses,

“…it’s Survivor Rule #2: Have a Plan B.”

The Trojan Horse goes over to Ashley and Devon to tell them Ben has spilled all the Burger Alliance secrets to Chrissy, who now knows about Lauren’s Advantages. Devon then relays this info to Lauren, so now everyone in the Burger Alliance knows Ben is jumping ship. But Lauren thinks she can right this ship by re-establishing the numbers, so she gives the shell she found at the Immunity Challenge to Mike to solicit his allegiance, and all Mike can say is that this may be one of,

“…the stupidest moves ever in Survivor history…”

We’ll see if the Survivor Gods make her pay for it, because I can’t see how this helps her, unless she plays her extra vote tonight, and things take a crazy turn.


  1. Hey there! Okay, Lauren is potentially the dumbest. I was kind of starting to like her and then this episode happened. A) Why tell people you found the idol? Dumb. B) Why keep offering your immunity/advantages to people? Super dumb. C) Why tell Ben you are going to vote him out?

    I think I want Ben to win this whole thing. He’s been grating on my nerves, but at least he’s trying to play the game. The problem is, he’s stuck playing with a bunch of morons.

    I can’t stand people who look at their “resume” instead of what is best for them in the game. Voting Ben out would have been a huge move, but they told him they were voting for him. AND, it would have left the Burger Alliance at 3 vs 3. Why not keep him for another vote and then work to get rid of him? I don’t know where they find these people for casting, but they need to do a better job. I haven’t looked at the casting for the next season. I hope it’s decent!!

    I will say, these last two episodes have been a little bit more exciting. Like people have finally woken up and realized they’re playing survivor. And I do love the Loved Ones episode. I was kind of disappointed in their challenge, though. It seemed a bit anticlimactic.

    At this point, I’d be happy with Ben, Mike, or Devon winning. Chrissy has pissed me off, Ashley hasn’t done anything, and neither has Ryan.

    I hope you have a good week!

  2. Hi Jen! Thanks for the comment.

    Yeah, Lauren seems like that kinda person who knows they’re not that bright, so they overcompensate by trying to be nice/confident/tough. Like that’s gonna fool anyone!? Look, dumb people — not you, Jen — we all know you’re dumb. You can’t hide that shit. It comes out in what you say, how you react, and how you plan. Just accept the fact you’re dumb and keep quiet. As Judge Smails said, “The world needs ditch diggers too.” So, wise up, dummies, and stay unwise… (Ahhh, that was refreshing…)

    My prediction is Ben/Ryan/Chrissy at Final Tribal, only because I predicted Ben/Ryan, and I see Chrissy getting a FT edit. We’ll see. And maybe I’ll see b/c I just applied for Finale tickets. Will keep you posted…

    I honestly don’t care who wins. I just can’t even any more…

    I’m with you about casting. I think they’re either too lazy to search through all the applications, or they just read everyone’s app and go off who’s “story” is best. It’s like there’s no thought put into personality any more. Look, everyone’s gonna go into the casting interviews and SAY they’re gonna be energetic and create drama, but the producers have to do better. I also haven’t looked at next season, maybe I’ll do that now and write something about them tonight…

    Yeah, they phoned in that LO challenge. Sad… I guess I’d like Ben or Devon to win. We’ll see next week.

    Thank you, Jen. I did have a good week. Just hoping to get through December without any drama.

    Love ya!

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