October 5th, 2017 | 5 Comments | Posted in Survivor 35 - H vs. H vs H

So, let’s see how the next 13 minutes plays out, it’s time for Tribal Council. And considering how much time is left in tonight’s episode, and based on what Jeff told us last week about “ties lead to players being back in” (or whatever he said), then I’m beginning to wonder if my Lauren pick isn’t so crazy. Let’s see what unfolds.

Players enter Tribal and light their torches. Everyone takes their seats and Jeff queries the tribe:

-Ryan makes a random Chuck E. Cheese reference no one understands.
-Lauren likens Tribal to a funeral, because she’s fu*kin’ depressing.
-Ali admits that whoever goes, could have benefitted her in some way. And that trust is a huge part in who she wants to keep.
-Patrick wants to keep the tribe strong (duh)
-Ryan details the many ways the tribe can vote, but states there are six agendas…
-Simone confesses that “old-school” Survivor would boot her ass, but the new Survivor mantra is to build an alliance you can stick with.
-Patrick blurts out that he can trust “most” of the players here, but when he corrects himself and says he meant to say “all,” everyone’s spider sense starts tingling.

BTW, I don’t think it’s crazy to admit he doesn’t trust everyone here – since he’s going to vote someone out – but since these kids are new to the game, I’ll cut them some slack. They try to make Patrick feel uncomfortable, and with that red hair, his sunburn, and the blushing he’s doing right now, I’m wondering if Patrick paid a visit to Willy Wonka’s and started chewing on a piece of strawberry gum that wasn’t ready for consumption…

But I digress. Someone is going home tonight, and they probably deserve it. Patrick does some quick damage control to try and dissuade people from voting for him, but he’s already dug his grave.

A few others have comments that don’t amount to much, let’s just get to it. It’s time to vote.

A vote for both Patrick and Simone are revealed (from each other) and Jeff reads the votes (no idols are played, obviously).


Boom goes the Resting Bi*ch Face as our diversity diva is sent packing. Does she wait for someone to come grab her bag and carry her down the path? No, she slaps on some high-heeled Manolo Blahnik flip-flops and gingerly stumbles down the path. Perhaps we’ll SEE her at the Reunion show, but most likely, we’ll never HEAR from her again. Why was she chosen, Lynne Spillman…?

Next time on…Survivor!

-It’s Patrick vs. Spongebob as Lauren admits she don’t like gingers… (seriously?)
-Cole spills to Jessica that Joe has an idol, and says he don’t like that.
-But he likes her kisses so maybe he’ll get confused and let “little Cole” make a few more decisions.

During Simone’s final words it’s shown she was voted out unanimously, which only goes to show I was right when I said last week she wouldn’t last “long time.” It also proves how much the show tries to misdirect us from who’s getting voted out. I know they need to create some drama, but couldn’t they give us something besides, “Patrick is a f**king moron” and looks at himself in the glass of the diving mask? I don’t know, maybe that’s all the footage they had to work with this week, or maybe it’s the wine, but I’m feeling a bit annoyed about a lot of things. Maybe it’s because I can’t get the phrase “aquadump” out of my head now…

True, the show I love has become a bit of a bitchfest every week, so I need to decide if that’s the show, or me. But I’m holding out for this season to pick up some steam as it plods forward. I know we need to develop some compassion or empathy for the players who’ll go deep in the game, and it’s still relatively early. Plus, there’s all those family stories we’ll find out about at the Loved Ones challenge. But let’s keep our fingers crossed that players will start to exhibit something closer to personalities than desperation. Right now, I’m not feeling it.

Hopefully, next week will begin this season’s true liftoff, as we needed to eliminate some of the chum that exists at the beginning of the game. We know we start paying attention at the merge, so let’s keep our fingers crossed that all will be redeemed. If not, there’s always next season.

Okay, after this crazy week, I’m not gonna discuss a lot of TV stuff, or personal stuff, or alcohol stuff. We all need a break right now. And even though I know the last thing you wanna do is get all heavy, there’s something clawing at my craw that I wanna take a stab at. Hope you’re not offended…

My Two Cents

With the events that transpired in Las Vegas, I’m gonna write a little something having to do with #GunControl. Now don’t worry, I’m not going to get all preachy about it, but as is my tendency, I’m gonna throw a little shade on the controversy itself. Because it’s not making a whole lotta sense to me.

It’s clear we have a problem with guns in this country, and it’s also clear that those in power are okay with it. Not sure why – oh, wait, maybe it’s the millions of dollars some receive from the NRA – so it appears this problem isn’t going away very soon. And just like last week’s My Two Cents, both sides seem to be debating two separate issues. Here’s what I mean.

Those on the left say, “Guns are too easy to acquire in this country. We need to ban all assault weapons, we need to strengthen the background checks, we need people with mental issues to be prohibited from purchasing guns.” And based on what I heard recently, “we don’t need more silencers on the market,” and “we need to eliminate these magazines that allow for increased bullets to be fired.”

Yet, on the right, what they seem to be saying is, “You can’t take our guns away from us. It’s guaranteed in the 2nd Amendment.”

So, once again, these two sides aren’t even arguing about the same things. It’s so ridiculous. Look, I’ll be honest with you. I’ve never shot a real gun in my life. Yeah, I had BB guns and air pistols, but I’ve never shot a real firearm. Just never interested me. So, I’m clearly on one side of this fence. But here’s why…

When I was in my 20’s, my father had a gun, and a drinking problem, and liked to play cards. Once night, when his friends were over drinking and playing cards, the discussion of guns came up. He said, “Well I have a gun, lemme go get it.” The next thing you know, we hear a gunshot upstairs…and then silence. I thought I should go check it out, because I was the only one who wasn’t drinking.

I peer into my parents’ bedroom, and my dad is standing there, in a cloud of smoke. He had grabbed his gun and pulled the trigger, unaware there was a bullet in the chamber. As the cloud of smoke cleared, I could see he had shot a hole through his big stack of t-shirts.

“I didn’t know the damn thing was loaded…” he mumbled.

It was then I decided I didn’t want anything to do with guns. Not just because guns can kill, but because people are dumb, and people sometimes get emotional and don’t make good decisions.

However, I do believe guns can be handled properly. And should be able to be acquired if certain things are in place, including:

-they’re super expensive
-ammunition is pricey
-there’s a lengthy background check and wait time to buy a gun
-a government permit must be acquired
-firearm training must be completed
-a psychological evaluation must be performed
-most importantly, insurance.

If you need insurance to drive a car – which could kill someone – then you need to have insurance to own a weapon.

-and finally, no automatic weapons should be allowed in private citizens hands. It’s just dumb… If you wanna go shoot one, go to a shooting range. But owning one really doesn’t make much sense. And no one under the age of 21 should be able to shoot a gun. Period.

As Jimmy Kimmel said on his program a couple nights ago, he recalls there were two fires in Las Vegas a while back where some hotel guests lost their lives. Soon afterwards, regulations were put in place so it wouldn’t happen again. And it evidently hasn’t. Yet, we have countless shootings in the US, and politicians always have a way to justify why they can’t strengthen the gun laws, and it doesn’t make sense to me.

Come on, guys. There’s a common-sense approach to gun control, and it really shouldn’t take catastrophe after catastrophe to keep bringing up the discussion and then saying nothing can be done. I can’t wait to see what it’ll take for it to really happen – some elected official’s child is murdered? – because I’m not sure we can take any more of these episodes.

Hope you’re not offended if I’m saying something that doesn’t agree with you. And if you are, I don’t care. You’re wrong and I hope the NRA suffers greatly when things do change. It’ll be a long time coming…

BTW, my wife and step-son live in Vegas, and I can’t imagine what he must have thought when the events unfolded…


Twitter: @BF_TheFish
AIM: or Bryan Fischer


  1. As usual, I agree with you Fish. Joe is a douche. I’m not surprised his useless brain couldn’t figure out that it was a drawing of the well. I knew it wasn’t a raft and that the “OCEAN” was just a map indication, not the location itself. I agree that Cole probably should have played dumb too, but I suppose it’s hard to think game in the heat of the moment. He seems good hearted and did the honest thing. Hopefully it doesn’t bite him in his tush.
    As for Patrick… he is a nut case. Honestly. ADHD for certain. And that’s coming from someone with a BA in Psychology. I don’t see him lasting. He’ll get annoying really fast – I’m already annoyed, and I’m not even on the island.
    I really REALLY love Devon. I can see him going far and being a very Ken-like player. Granted, he’s a lot younger and not as mature, but I can see him fairing well. I may be biased because I find him gorgeous (not as gorgeous as Ken, but he’ll have to do for this season)…
    I’m really liking the “my two cents” section of your recaps. I’d love to see them be a permanent fixture! I actually agree with everything you said about gun control. Guns are banned here in Toronto but things still happen. Unfortunately there isn’t a law banning stupidity, or a cure for it either.
    Keep up the great recaps and PLEASE continue with the “my two cents” feature!

  2. As mentioned above, probably of heat a the moment that Cole gave away the meaning. He was smart enough to hack the map odd the tree later. But I was screaming NO when he told Joe the meaning.
    I now have a crush on Ali the bra/pantie outfit looks great to me!
    I fell for the Survivor fake and thought Patrick was a goner..
    Wait there is a black woman on this season? Is this a case of Survivor slow playing her, that she will be a force later? Or just not the usual Angry Black Women survivor likes to feature, so less air time?
    What was the point of having the Survivor destinations on the boards? Did I miss something? Were those clues? Perhaps the order of the seasons?
    As for guns, I have never owned one because I am afraid I will do something like your dad. Man I do stupid stuff when drunk. But I do feel people should have a right to own, just not sure how to regulate it or if it should be. I also don’t trust our government. I guess living in the burbs, just makes guns pretty much a non-factor in my life. I should care more, but have enough other ScheiB to worry about. Like why aren’t there more hot women on this season!

  3. Dang my reply looks crazy. I wish we could edit.
    As mentioned above, probably a heat of the moment that Cole gave away the meaning. He was smart enough to hack the map off the tree later

  4. Hi lil, welcome back. Thanks for being “on it” with your comments…

    Yeah, what’s up with Joe? Makes me feel bad for the convicts he has to work with. As in, “is this the best person to be someone’s probation officer?” Just think he’s one decision away from being a convict on his own… And fingers crossed Cole gets to hang around and mack on Jessica a little more… While I agree Patrick is a doofus, I think the one thing we’re forgetting is that we saw maybe 45 seconds of him acting like an idiot over the course of 3 days. He’s probably not THAT bad, we just got to see all the times he acted like an idiot. As I said in the column, they had to give us SOMETHING else besides “Simone is 100% going home.” I like Devon too. He’s got an amiability about him that serve him well. I’m sure he’ll show a dark side later — hopefully a lot later — and we’ll see how his alliance with the bellhop works for him. As we all know, sometimes players get caught on the wrong side of the numbers, but let’s hope that doesn’t happen to Devon. I like a person who can smile when he’s playing a game like Survivor. Makes me think he’s really having fun… And THANK YOU for liking My Two Cents. I am liking the opportunity to actually “say something” each week, aside from the drivel in my recaps. At the end of the day, I’m just throwing shit at the walls in my recaps, but with M2C, I can explore more adult topics. Hopefully I’m not ostracizing a huge segment of my readers. If so, oh well… I had a conversation with a friend a few months ago about some of the jokes I made at Michaela’s expense. My friend was saying that I “owed it” to my readers to not cross certain lines, and my retort was that I can’t write my column as if I’m trying to win a Pulitzer. Sometimes, I gotta cross some lines to make a joke, or make a point, and sometimes, I just say shit to stir the pot. My column, to a degree, is like my Twitter, where I say stuff just to get a reaction sometimes. That’s the whole point of social media anyways, right? So thank you for reading, and this week’s M2C will be about the Cam Newton/female reporter kerfuffle… Stay tuned!

    doc! What’re you, drunk!? I’m like, is this even English…? I’m kidding bro. Love that you’re invested… Yeah, I think Ali is growing on me a little. I am looking forward to how the “Survivor diet” affects everyone… And yeah, Desi’s kinda not an entity yet, but maybe that means she’s coming hard later on (I wish). And to all things holy, I pray that they don’t make her play the ABW card. Can we just get a woman who is serious about winning without playing a stereotype? You know they cast players for a reason, and typically, the ABW card is punched… I think the locations were just names on the boards, nothing more… And yeah, I grew up in the ‘burbs (which is one of the reasons I thought it stupid my dad wanted a gun). Having lived in the “the city” for the last 20 years, I can see why some people might want one, but even then, I wasn’t in a bad neighborhood. I’m sure if I lived in the ‘hood I’d have no problem owning a gun for protection, but not where I lived. Now that I’m back in the suburbs, I’m back to hating guns altogether. There are just so many horror stories of kids finding/shooting their parent’s guns, and it pisses me off that the kids were able to even do that. Who doesn’t lock their gun up? I’m not even an owner and I know how to store a firearm. Again, there should be some kind of intelligence test given… As I said, nothing will change until something really bad happens… (And I can’t believe all these “really bad” shootings haven’t motivated our leaders to do something.).

    Thanks for the comments! Keep ’em coming…

  5. Fashionably late, per usual. I’m struggling with this season. Usually there are at least a couple of standouts early on that I can get behind. I think maybe I like Chrissy now that we have her explanation for not using the super idol. Ryan seems okay in a darling, nerdy way. And I like Devon. Everyone else is just kind of blending together for me at this point. I loathe Joe and Alan. I also feel like the editing is being dumb this season, too. It seems all over the place and I don’t like it. Maybe it will get better once we go to two tribes? I can’t really put my finger on what is bothering me about it. I just feel like they’re trying to mislead me on purpose and keep me in the dark. I’m crabby tonight, clearly 🙂

    Fish, I’m really digging the My Two Cents part of this. Probably because I agree with you on everything. I cannot believe that our leaders don’t see the wisdom in stronger gun regulation. I, also, grew up in the burbs without any exposure to guns (my dad had a drinking problem, but no guns). So, I’m probably a tad biased, but I don’t get the need to have a personal arsenal. You want to protect your family? That’s awesome. I support that. But do you need 47 guns to accomplish that? Nope.

    Here’s hoping this week’s episode gets me a little more invested. I think maybe I’m just bored with these people. Cause they’re idiots right now. Have a good few days! I’m planning to watch on time this week 🙂

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