When the players return to camp (Night 33) Aubry explains to Brad that the only plan she was aware of was taking him out, so she was in the dark too about Andrea going home. And now that her closest ally is gone, Aubry is feeling a little disconnected from the rest of her tribe. But thankfully, Tai is there to help her through this difficult time, which does not go unnoticed by Cirie. She’s not liking that he’s rushing to pick up Aubry’s mood, and methinks he’s putting himself in a precarious position with the FCP.
Next up is another Immunity Challenge and it looks goooood. Standing on a perch in the water, doing something, heading to shore, solving a puzzle. Easy peasy… Just the thing I wanna see on Day 34. And Jeff’s wearing a black shirt, so something’s about to go down. Let’s get right to it.
As Jeff is about to release the hounds it looks like Cirie won’t be able to stay atop her perch long enough to draw any water. Let’s hope so, distancing her even farther from winning a million.
“Go!”
The holes in the buckets make it difficult to collect water, but after a couple collections, Michaela, and then Troyzan are the first ones to grab their keys and head to shore. Soon after, Aubry and Brad have their keys. Cirie is…drowning…
With a fairly difficult puzzle to assemble, being the first one to start doesn’t mean crap. Soon, Sarah appears to have the lead, but everyone is making some progress. Except Cirie.
The puzzle is proving cumbersome for everyone as pieces can appear to fit but not be right. After a few adjustments, Michaela thinks she has it, but alas, she doesn’t, and kicks the puzzle for good measure. I’m sure there are a thousand people across the country playing a Survivor drinking game who just had to take a shot when Michaela kicked something.
Brad is up next to see if he’s got it, and HE DOES! Suck on this, Black Widow Alliance! Brad Dawn Thomas is sticking around for a few more days. And if things play out like I think – do they ever? – Troyzan will be safe too, and Tai, and the Widows will need to kiss one of their own bye-bye.
Cirie takes us to break and says she’s ready to “take out someone who’s a threat to me,” so that appears to be Aubry. Or Sarah. Or Tai. Or Troyzan. Man, it’s getting difficult to navigate these waters.
It’s Day 35 and players return to Maku Maku after Brad’s emotional victory. Troyzan instantly tells us he’ll play his idol if he feels he’s in trouble. And I can’t believe that he’d be dumb enough not to play it, but let’s see how dumb he really is (or maybe I’m dumb?).
The next few scenes are very confusing, so let me summarize:
-Tai tells Aubry he wants to make a big move
-She tells him Sarah is a big threat
-But she tells us that Tai needs to go
-Aubry tells Cirie that Tai wants to go after Sarah
-Cirie tells Sarah that Aubry says Tai wants to vote out Sarah
-Sarah is more inclined to believe Tai, so she says she’ll give Cirie her Extra-Vote advantage, to earn her loyalty, but will get it back if it’s not played.
-Cirie then confesses that she may play the Advantage, and run the risk of pissing off Sarah, just to get it out of the picture.
-She tells Michaela her plan, and says she’s gonna play it regardless (being “old school”) and realizes she needs to recruit Tai. But since he probably has an idol, she’s gotta get him to believe he’s being targeted, but then she’s going to use the Advantage to save him. Got it?
It’s very confusing and I don’t see how Tai doesn’t see through her bulls**t, but he’s Tai, so maybe he’ll find a way to screw this up. And as we head to our second Tribal Council, Tai confesses that he MAY use one of his idols, so I’m hoping he either uses one to save himself, or he doesn’t, and we can make fun of him for the rest of eternity. Regardless, the players are already heading to Tribal, so let’s see what unfolds.
Everyone takes their seat and we’re under way.
-Sarah reveals that a lot of lies and truths were told after Brad’s win
-Cirie concurs and says tonight’s vote will reveal much
-Brad agrees that everyone is a liar
-Michaela disagrees and thinks some people are telling the truth
-Tai says he gives people “the benefit of the doubt” (why?)
-Troyzan just wants to stay another night or two
-Michaela is still talking like she knows how to play the game
And as Jeff claims “it’s time to vote,” Cirie chimes in she’s going to play the Advantage that Sarah gave to her, but in the ultimate burn of the season, Sarah states the Advantage is non-transferable, which is proven when Cirie is asked to read the parchment out loud.
You just got played, FatCouchPotato!
Sarah takes her Advantage back and tells Cirie to eat a bowl of dicks…
Jeff asks Cirie to describe the pain and embarrassment she’s feeling right now, but then Sarah stands up and goes over to whisper something into Tai’s ear. Didn’t we say you can’t get up from your seat without a hall pass? This then forces Cirie to whisper something into Sarah’s ear, and then all hell breaks loose as Troyzan tries to eavesdrop into Cirie, Michaela, and Sarah’s conversation – once again, revealing how ghetto Michaela is – and then soon, everyone is whispering into everyone else’s ears. I think I even saw Jeff whispering into John Kirhoffer’s ear, and I don’t know what’s going on any more. All I can suggest is that if you have an Idol, play it, so you stick around…
And the other thing I’m noticing is that Debbie appears to have put on about 10 lbs. since she arrived at Ponderosa. So much for that exercise routine, Bowser…
When all is said and done, Sarah tells Jeff she’s going to play her Advantage, and she’s going to steal Tai’s vote, much to his displeasure. He’d better play an idol, or his game could be Bonsai…
Two votes are revealed (against Tai) and Sarah gets her 2nd vote. Jeff tallies the votes. And FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, Tai doesn’t play an idol!
Seriously!?
There must be some other magical s**t going on because this makes no sense at all. Unless he’s an idiot and doesn’t care. Let me get back to you on that one later…
Jeff reads the votes:
Tai
Tai
Aubry
Michaela
Michaela
Michaela
Michaela
And boom goes the What’s Happening!! reboot as Cookie Puss leaves the building. And if you know me, you know there will be no fond farewell. There will be no “she had so much more in the tank,” there will be no more “what ifs.” Michaela the Petulant is no more. Long live the Unpetulant…
In the tease of next week, we already know what to expect. There’s some funky stuff going down as Tai finally has to decide what to do with his idols, and chances are he’s not going to do the right thing. In fact, Brad may actually use Tai’s idol against him, causing Tai to cry like a little baby. Let’s hope it’s not a misdirect and Tai is really lamenting another mistake he’s made.
In Michaela’s final words, she doesn’t seem all that unhappy that she’s gone, she’s just happy to make it to day 35. And when she alludes to coming back for a 3rd season, I’m just hoping the Powers That Be at Survivor read the following sentence:
Don’t Ever Invite Michaela Back! She’s a Disgrace to the Survivor Brand!
There, I’ve gotten that outta my system…
Well, at least I can take some solace from tonight’s episode. Brad didn’t go home, Michaela’s gone, and both Tai and Troyzan still have idols, guaranteeing another woman is going home soon. And with Sarah having Immunity at the next vote, we know she’ll be around a little while longer. So many moving parts to the end of this season, does it always seem this chaotic at the end? We’ll find out next week.
So, in the next day or so I’ll know if I scored a ticket to the finale/reunion show taping. Let’s just hope CBS didn’t view my speech on YouTube and deem me persona non-grata at their big event. I’ll be active on Twitter, or in the comments below, to let you know of my status. By the way, I’ll require child care, so let me know if you’re available and in SoCal… I promise there’ll be vodka in the freezer and you’ll appreciate my tip… Meow.
Another week, another step climbed in the resurrection of Fish. Got a new car last week…and it’s already having electrical problems and back at the dealer. Just my damn luck. I figure at some point everything will be roses in my life, but until then it’s stepping around IUDs (that’s what buried bombs are called, right?).
And here we are at the penultimate episode and we never did anything about all that Survivor swag I wanted to get rid of. Tell you what, I’ll try to post a video on my YouTube channel with all the swag laid out, and everything will have an item number, and you can watch the video and silent bid on any/every item. Highest bid on each item will win. And once I figure out how to ship all this stuff, I’ll contact you with a final price. I’m sure I’ll end up making $17 for my efforts…
Not gonna make any promises this is happening this week, but I’ll do my best. Plus, it’ll be another chance to see my ugly mug on YouTube. And really, what am I gonna do with all this Survivor swag…?
But keep in mind I drink a lot, so I may forget all about it and throw the box in the dumpster with my empties. Hopefully, that doesn’t happen (again). The wife will never forgive me for chucking her high school diploma…
Until next week, I hope all your lives are going peach keen. I really appreciate all the well wishes I’ve received this season, via tweet, comment, and email. I know I’ve been a little too melodramatic lately, and I’ll endeavor to keep things lighter moving forward. Who needs all this drama, right? We’re here for Survivor, and to laugh, and to be get a few bizarre 70s-80s references from the dark recesses of my mind. Well, that’s why I’m here.
Hope you all have enjoyed the ride…
Looking for a new Tonto…
Fish
Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
Twitter: @BF_TheFish
AIM: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com or Bryan Fischer
Sucks about the new car . Always something though . Oh well as long as prohibition never comes back everything will be ok ! Wow ! Just wow . Never saw the Michaela blindside coming . Nice move by Sarah to show Cirie who the queen bitch in that alliance was ! 6 left and one is guaranteed final 5 . One has an idol and one has 2 . Amazing ! Never seen a season where idols were hoarded like this and never played . Troy looked like he over indulged in the illegal narcotics back in the day . He may not remember he has one ! Amazing how Brad keeps being on the right side of the vote . Get rid of Brad , get rid of Brad . Hey Brad here is who we are voting . Jump aboard . I assume they think no one will give him the money . Like I said earlier with Sandra . That’s bullshit . Its not who needs a million . Its who EARNED it . Its a game . Screw the saddest story . Screw who has the most credit card debt . The money and title Sole Survivor should go to the best player . Brad has been the best player . Sarah has played well too but she has made more enemies than Brad in my opinion . Anyway when life gives ya lemons drop them in your Vodka for a little extra flavor !
I cannot wait for Sarah to watch the show and find out Cirie was right the whole time. I did NOT see the Michaela blindside coming and am looking forward to next week when they return to camp. Hopefully they will show us some conversations. Those boys certainly have themselves well placed if Tai gives up and idol. If he has half a brain (which is doubtful), he will not give one to Brad since he would never beat Brad in the final. Sucks that Brad did not find one for himself …. but there are always immunity challenges for him.
Have a great weekend. I cannot wait to read your recap of the finale!
Hey Fish!
Sorry about your wheels, but I just know you have something amazing coming your way to make up for all the trials you’ve had, certainly more than your fair share!
I forgive Survivor for all their sins this season for two things that happened tonight. A/ Jeff P nails Michella by saying “Yes, kicking the puzzle always helps”. I do love when Jeff gets snide. And B/ Micahella was blindsided. I mean, that was sweet. Right up there with Debbie’s for me. I think maybe sweeter because Debbie was annoying, but not a total douchecanoe like Michealllla. And yes, I know I’m spelling her name wrong each time- someone told me once it was the ultimate sign of disrespect, and I cannot muster one ounce of respect for that ungrateful, temper-fueled, ego maniacal child. If they have her back, I’m out. And I’ll miss it terribly but at some point, we need to stop rewarding bad behavior. And no, she wasn’t a villain, she was just a brat, and I’ll take 10 Russels any day over that. Sorry, I feel better! Love until next week!!! xo Trish
Fish, all of your nicknames this week are hysterical and on point! Too good. And then your line “Sarah takes her Advantage back and tells Cirie to eat a bowl of dicks…” EPIC.
I really do not understand what was going through Cirie’s head with Sarah’s advantage… Even if her plan worked, I don’t see how the payoff is worth the risk. What do you REALLY think was her endgame? Was it just a misguided “big play” to build her resume?
It’s crazy to me that we still have 3 idols and an advantage in play with this few of people left…but that could just be a product of the abundance of twists/advantages this season. Will Troyzan do something to avoid being the goat taken to the final? How big of an epic fail will Tai’s idol plays be? Will Aubry ever be on the right side of a vote? Can Sarah keep this mind fuckery going?! Ahh can’t wait to read your commentary after next week!
Well…no go on the Survivor finale tickets. Just got the email. Now I gotta watch it like all the other Uberfans out there… At least I’ll save a mint in child care. I think I just upgraded Wednesday’s vodka to Grey Goose!
Thanks for all the great comments! Here goes…
Rick! Yeah, the idols are gonna be huge next week, and I wonder if Tai will play them right. He could just use them for himself, and guarantee he’s at final 4, and then see where he stands. If he had awareness, he’d know that anyone would take him to FT (cuz he’s such a goat), but he’s still thinking he can win it. What a douche! So true about Troyzan. That guy is operating on 3 cylinders… I don’t know if Brad could win. Survivor is so funky because you think they’ll give it to whoever needs it, but then they give it to who’s the most worthy. We viewers forget that we don’t vote (unlike other reality shows) so our opinion means squat. Keep the faith, brother!
JWM! Thank you! The one thing I noticed when I saw the Michaela Ponderosa video is that she is just a kid. Really, just an immature little child who doesn’t know how to react to real life situations. It seems she’s putting on this “I’m just happy to be here” vibe because she really doesn’t know how to react. Hopefully, I’m done writing about her but something tells me I’m gonna have an opinion or two on her question at FT.
Trish! Love you, chica! Car is back and running great. Let’s hope it continues to. Today was a big step in getting life square again, and the next few days will dictate a lot. But thanks for all your support. And thanks for hatin’ on Michaela. The show really needs a wake-up call on who to cast/not cast, and they clearly got it wrong with her. Can’t wait to write the final recap of the season and celebrate a deserving winner.
MVD! Ha! That’s awesome you liked all the nicknames. I gotta give credit to an old friend for the “bowl of dicks” line. She’s been saying that to me for years and I’ve always loved it. Glad to put a smile on your face… RE: Cirie’s play. Two things. 1) I do think it was an attempt at making a big play AND taking the Advantage off the table for someone else (Sarah) to use. Too bad Cirie fucked it up. And 2) I read an exit interview with Michaela who said that Sarah gave Cirie the Advantage IMMEDIATELY before they walked into Tribal, so she had no opportunity to read it. She just stuffed it in her bag right as they were walking in and said, “Here’s the advantage.” Sarah is a tricky little vixen for doing that because she knew Cirie wouldn’t have a chance to read it and see that it was non-transferable. Sneaky one, that Officer A-cups… And with all the idols/Advantages at play, it’s difficult to predict who’ll go home. Let’s say both Tai and Troyzan play idols and Sarah has immunity the next vote. That means Brad, Cirie and Aubry are on the block, and based on the tease, maybe Brad gets one of Tai’s idols (or wins immunity) meaning Cirie or Aubry may be next to go. And then it’s 5 left, and perhaps Tai has an idol still, but it all comes down to those final Immunity Challenges. If Brad can get hot, he can make FT, but I think it’s unlikely he wins them all. With Tai, Troyzan as potential goats, and Aubry not deserving the win, I think it comes down to Brad vs. Sarah, and if they can make it. This is the most excited I’ve been for a finale since I don’t know when. Can’t. Wait.
Hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend. I know I will…XO
I have a question . Does Sarah still compete in the elimination ? Can she win and then give her advantage or that immunity to someone else? I would assume in all fairness they wont reveal her immunity until AFTER the vote . In theory if so everyone but one person could have immunity . How funny would this scenario be ? Sarah wins immunity . She gives her advantage to Cirie . They are both safe . Tai feels safe so he gives Aubrey and Brad his idols . Now they are both safe . Troy plays his idol . He is safe . Tai starts day with 2 idols yet goes into final tribal as only person without an idol. Far fetched yes . My imagination being over active. Probably. Would that be the greatest moment in Survivor history if it happened . HELL YES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Trish – I LOVED when Jeff called her out for kicking the puzzle also including the snarky way he did it. We are all sick of her kicking things when she does not get her way.
Rickhtzbq – That would be epic!!