May 19th, 2017 | 7 Comments | Posted in Survivor 34 - Game Changers

At camp (Night 32) some things don’t smell right to Andrea. And it’s not everyone’s armpits. All that pandering Sarah was doing when Sierra left (see, I told you!) did not go unnoticed by (some of) the remaining players. Specifically, Andrea, Aubry and Cirie are starting to smell a rat, and know that Sarah’s been a busy little beaver this season. They’re gonna keep their eyes on Officer A-cups, because she’s been putting in some overtime.

The next morning, Sarah takes a walk to find out what’s that bulge in her shorts, and it’s the Legacy Advantage that Jeff shoved in there last night while she was sleeping. She confesses she put on a show for Sierra when she was leaving, thus solidifying her role on a future season of Heroes vs. Villains.

Sarah reads the parchment and learns she’ll have immunity (only valid when 6 are left) and is feeling confident knowing she holds two advantages now. She names Andrea as her biggest threat, and will not be invited to the bachelorette party in the Alps after saying she “cannot stand the girl,” which means Sarah’s not great at making friends with women, or Andrea’s a much bigger bi*ch than she’s portrayed on the show. Let’s just keep moving forward, because I don’t wanna believe that Andrea’s not a perfect human being…

Day 33 and let’s get right to it. Immunity Challenge #1 and I’m already starting to write my sympathy card to Brad. It was nice knowing you. But before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s see what the challenge entails. Hell, he might win and throw everything into the hopper.

As the camera pans around the challenge, it pauses on one particular area, leading me to believe something is afoot. Like, some kinda Immunity idol is afoot and hidden within the challenge. I hope there’s some kind of curveball like that, because anything that’ll help Brad win this challenge is okay in my book.

Jeff calls everyone in and I just saw a graphic for the new season of Big Brother. Oh for f**k’s sake, is that piece of crap still on the air? I can’t even with that show… Julie Chen is the shi**iest host ever and there’s something wrong with her eyes. And this coming from the guy who likes Asian women… Moving on.

Jeff takes the Dreamcatcher necklace back from Brad and describes the challenge. In it, they’ll have to steady a table using a pulley system with one hand and build a “house of cards” out of tiles with the other hand. The house needs to be pretty frickin’ high, so it seems there’s no chance anyone’s gonna pull this off. I think it’ll come down to who’s got the highest stack after a certain period of time. I could be wrong…

Seriously, I don’t see anyone being able to pull this off, because no one has the skills of Ozzy on this short bus. I can’t even predict who might do well. Let’s just see who’ll surprise all of us and stay alive for another 52 minutes… And I guess I was seeing things with that hidden Immunity Idol prediction. Apologies, I’m off my game tonight…it’s the vodka.

Jeff calls “go” and they’re off. Aubry immediately makes me regret eating tonight as she calls Cockring her “boyfriend” because he won this challenge the last time it was run. Maybe that’ll portend something good for Aubry, or maybe it means I’ll be revisiting the chicken I just ate. Nevertheless, she seems to be making some progress, while most of the others are still figuring out how to build the first few floors of their house of cards.

Aubry, Andrea and Michaela are jinxed by Jeff when he says they get off to a fast start, and no sooner than he says, “get off,” Michaela’s stack falls. And rather than mentioning every success and failure, let’s just cut to the chase. Aubry is in the lead and Michaela’s on her heels, with a much less sturdy tower. And once again, hers falls when she looks away for a moment.

Aubry is approaching record time, but realizes she’s built her tower too robustly, and has to remove some tiles from the top so she can rethink her method. Meanwhile, Michaela is back in the game, until she isn’t and suffers her third collapse.

When the only other challenger (Andrea) also loses her stack, the door is open for Aubry to win this challenge, if she can only avoid having the wind knock it down, which suddenly picked up. She does, and wins immunity, guaranteeing Brad will be going home tonight. However, Andrea takes us to commercial and warns that it may be time to take out Sarah, considering how sneaky she’s been the whole game. Hmmm, a ray of hope for Brad?

When everyone returns to camp, Aubry has her moment in the sun by finally DOING SOMETHING this season. Even she admits she’s just starting to build her resume for the season – on Day 33, mind you – and I find that a little tough to swallow.

When people start whispering that it’s time for Brad to go home, the big question, raised by Michaela, is that they need him to go fishing first to provide them with some food. And then they can vote him out tonight. But since he’s out in the forest somewhere, and not at the ocean, Michaela volunteers to go find him, hoping he’s not out looking for an idol.

She finds him a distance away and when he asks her what she’s hearing, her only response is that he should “go fishing.”

Go fishing. Really?

And with that dumba** look on her face like she’s trying to hide something, Brad accuses her of trying to blackmail him – okay, I was wrong about the editors – and tells her to go f**k herself.

Back at camp, Andrea is raising the idea of taking out Sarah again to Aubry, even though she feels like she “has a great bond with her.” Uh, you might wanna rethink those bridesmaids, Maria…

Aubry is not convinced it’s time to take out Sarah, and believes the Immunity necklace is giving her the clarity she needs to make a wise decision. She just thinks it makes logical sense to take out Brad now, because of how big of an immunity threat he is.

Andrea heads over to Cirie and gives her the “it’s time to take out Sarah” spiel, but Cirie is more interested in taking out Andrea, because she thinks Maria may be working something with Aubry, and Cirie wants to work with Sarah. Damn, there’s more drama with these bi*ches than the new season of Orange Is The New Black.

As everyone grabs their torch and heads to Tribal, it appears to be Brad vs. Andrea, unless another fast one is pulled at Tribal. Let’s see what happens…

Players take their seats and the jury files in. And may I say that Sierra looks “en fuego.”

Jeff queries the tribe:

-Aubry states the “WE’s” are a bit stronger than expected.
-Sarah claims if your support group “ain’t broke,” don’t fix it
-Troyzan says the bottom feeders will be the most loyal, if you approach them
-Cirie tells Jeff there wasn’t a lot of scrambling after today’s challenge
-Andrea could have just admitted that no one spoke to her so she’s a target
-Brad throws out Andrea’s name
-Sarah drops a hint to the jury that they need to reward “game-changing” moves
-Aubry says “people ain’t robots” (why did I just type that?)
-Tai tells Jeff he thinks the jury will reward gameplayers, and not friendship
-Andrea says it matters how you blindside people, not just that you blindsided them
-Michaela sums it up by saying tonight’s vote is about “advancing your group.”

And what the hell does any of this mean? It’s time to vote.

But no, Brad has to interject that when they get to final five, the remaining players are gonna wish they had gotten the person who now wants to take them out. It’s a good argument, but let’s see if it’s “too little, too late.” Now it’s really time to vote.

As players head to the voting area, I’m feeling neither Tai or Troyzan needs to play their idols, so it looks like they’re going to be around for a little while longer. Or a lot while longer. Let’s see.

Votes for Andrea and Brad are revealed, and it looks like from the angle that Cirie is about to write her first letter, she’s going to write an “A.” We’ll find out. Jeff collects the urn and asks for Hidden Immunity Idols. No one budges. Jeff reads the votes.


“You guys,” she’s thinking as she grabs her torch and gets it snuffed. I’m sure she’s not as heartbroken as other players would be, knowing that she can take a shower now and wash her culo properly. And with that lucrative career in television blossoming, I don’t think she needs to worry about the million dollars she’s not going to win. She pinches Cirie’s fat cheeks and heads off, towards the Alps…

Jeff instructs the players to “keep talking, because someone might be listening,” and sends the players back to camp. And in Andrea’s final words, we learn that she’s taking this a bit harder than expected, but she’s a deer, a female deer, and a drop of golden sun…

7 thoughts on “SURVIVOR: GAME CHANGERS – 5/19/17

  1. Sucks about the new car . Always something though . Oh well as long as prohibition never comes back everything will be ok ! Wow ! Just wow . Never saw the Michaela blindside coming . Nice move by Sarah to show Cirie who the queen bitch in that alliance was ! 6 left and one is guaranteed final 5 . One has an idol and one has 2 . Amazing ! Never seen a season where idols were hoarded like this and never played . Troy looked like he over indulged in the illegal narcotics back in the day . He may not remember he has one ! Amazing how Brad keeps being on the right side of the vote . Get rid of Brad , get rid of Brad . Hey Brad here is who we are voting . Jump aboard . I assume they think no one will give him the money . Like I said earlier with Sandra . That’s bullshit . Its not who needs a million . Its who EARNED it . Its a game . Screw the saddest story . Screw who has the most credit card debt . The money and title Sole Survivor should go to the best player . Brad has been the best player . Sarah has played well too but she has made more enemies than Brad in my opinion . Anyway when life gives ya lemons drop them in your Vodka for a little extra flavor !

  2. I cannot wait for Sarah to watch the show and find out Cirie was right the whole time. I did NOT see the Michaela blindside coming and am looking forward to next week when they return to camp. Hopefully they will show us some conversations. Those boys certainly have themselves well placed if Tai gives up and idol. If he has half a brain (which is doubtful), he will not give one to Brad since he would never beat Brad in the final. Sucks that Brad did not find one for himself …. but there are always immunity challenges for him.

    Have a great weekend. I cannot wait to read your recap of the finale!

  3. Hey Fish!

    Sorry about your wheels, but I just know you have something amazing coming your way to make up for all the trials you’ve had, certainly more than your fair share!

    I forgive Survivor for all their sins this season for two things that happened tonight. A/ Jeff P nails Michella by saying “Yes, kicking the puzzle always helps”. I do love when Jeff gets snide. And B/ Micahella was blindsided. I mean, that was sweet. Right up there with Debbie’s for me. I think maybe sweeter because Debbie was annoying, but not a total douchecanoe like Michealllla. And yes, I know I’m spelling her name wrong each time- someone told me once it was the ultimate sign of disrespect, and I cannot muster one ounce of respect for that ungrateful, temper-fueled, ego maniacal child. If they have her back, I’m out. And I’ll miss it terribly but at some point, we need to stop rewarding bad behavior. And no, she wasn’t a villain, she was just a brat, and I’ll take 10 Russels any day over that. Sorry, I feel better! Love until next week!!! xo Trish

  4. Fish, all of your nicknames this week are hysterical and on point! Too good. And then your line “Sarah takes her Advantage back and tells Cirie to eat a bowl of dicks…” EPIC.

    I really do not understand what was going through Cirie’s head with Sarah’s advantage… Even if her plan worked, I don’t see how the payoff is worth the risk. What do you REALLY think was her endgame? Was it just a misguided “big play” to build her resume?

    It’s crazy to me that we still have 3 idols and an advantage in play with this few of people left…but that could just be a product of the abundance of twists/advantages this season. Will Troyzan do something to avoid being the goat taken to the final? How big of an epic fail will Tai’s idol plays be? Will Aubry ever be on the right side of a vote? Can Sarah keep this mind fuckery going?! Ahh can’t wait to read your commentary after next week!

  5. Well…no go on the Survivor finale tickets. Just got the email. Now I gotta watch it like all the other Uberfans out there… At least I’ll save a mint in child care. I think I just upgraded Wednesday’s vodka to Grey Goose!

    Thanks for all the great comments! Here goes…

    Rick! Yeah, the idols are gonna be huge next week, and I wonder if Tai will play them right. He could just use them for himself, and guarantee he’s at final 4, and then see where he stands. If he had awareness, he’d know that anyone would take him to FT (cuz he’s such a goat), but he’s still thinking he can win it. What a douche! So true about Troyzan. That guy is operating on 3 cylinders… I don’t know if Brad could win. Survivor is so funky because you think they’ll give it to whoever needs it, but then they give it to who’s the most worthy. We viewers forget that we don’t vote (unlike other reality shows) so our opinion means squat. Keep the faith, brother!

    JWM! Thank you! The one thing I noticed when I saw the Michaela Ponderosa video is that she is just a kid. Really, just an immature little child who doesn’t know how to react to real life situations. It seems she’s putting on this “I’m just happy to be here” vibe because she really doesn’t know how to react. Hopefully, I’m done writing about her but something tells me I’m gonna have an opinion or two on her question at FT.

    Trish! Love you, chica! Car is back and running great. Let’s hope it continues to. Today was a big step in getting life square again, and the next few days will dictate a lot. But thanks for all your support. And thanks for hatin’ on Michaela. The show really needs a wake-up call on who to cast/not cast, and they clearly got it wrong with her. Can’t wait to write the final recap of the season and celebrate a deserving winner.

    MVD! Ha! That’s awesome you liked all the nicknames. I gotta give credit to an old friend for the “bowl of dicks” line. She’s been saying that to me for years and I’ve always loved it. Glad to put a smile on your face… RE: Cirie’s play. Two things. 1) I do think it was an attempt at making a big play AND taking the Advantage off the table for someone else (Sarah) to use. Too bad Cirie fucked it up. And 2) I read an exit interview with Michaela who said that Sarah gave Cirie the Advantage IMMEDIATELY before they walked into Tribal, so she had no opportunity to read it. She just stuffed it in her bag right as they were walking in and said, “Here’s the advantage.” Sarah is a tricky little vixen for doing that because she knew Cirie wouldn’t have a chance to read it and see that it was non-transferable. Sneaky one, that Officer A-cups… And with all the idols/Advantages at play, it’s difficult to predict who’ll go home. Let’s say both Tai and Troyzan play idols and Sarah has immunity the next vote. That means Brad, Cirie and Aubry are on the block, and based on the tease, maybe Brad gets one of Tai’s idols (or wins immunity) meaning Cirie or Aubry may be next to go. And then it’s 5 left, and perhaps Tai has an idol still, but it all comes down to those final Immunity Challenges. If Brad can get hot, he can make FT, but I think it’s unlikely he wins them all. With Tai, Troyzan as potential goats, and Aubry not deserving the win, I think it comes down to Brad vs. Sarah, and if they can make it. This is the most excited I’ve been for a finale since I don’t know when. Can’t. Wait.

    Hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend. I know I will…XO

  6. I have a question . Does Sarah still compete in the elimination ? Can she win and then give her advantage or that immunity to someone else? I would assume in all fairness they wont reveal her immunity until AFTER the vote . In theory if so everyone but one person could have immunity . How funny would this scenario be ? Sarah wins immunity . She gives her advantage to Cirie . They are both safe . Tai feels safe so he gives Aubrey and Brad his idols . Now they are both safe . Troy plays his idol . He is safe . Tai starts day with 2 idols yet goes into final tribal as only person without an idol. Far fetched yes . My imagination being over active. Probably. Would that be the greatest moment in Survivor history if it happened . HELL YES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Trish – I LOVED when Jeff called her out for kicking the puzzle also including the snarky way he did it. We are all sick of her kicking things when she does not get her way.

    Rickhtzbq – That would be epic!!

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