April 14th, 2017 | 6 Comments | Posted in Survivor 34 - Game Changers

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your beers! Welcome to the Circus Maximus, where all chariot races have been postponed until further notice. Today, it’s wiener dog races and ostrich polo. So sorry if you came for the chariots…

As you can see, I’m already drinking and going off on tangents. Once again, last week has been an interesting one in the Fish bowl, but you probably don’t care, and I’ve been sworn to secrecy, so let’s just move on. I will say, I received some good news this week, so let’s hope it leads to greener pastures in the Fish bowl… Or a bigger aquarium…

First off, congratulations to Sergio Garcia for winning the Masters. That was an awesome weekend of golf. Talk about getting one of the biggest monkeys off one’s back. I’m sure the only guys who kinda know how he feels are Lee Westwood and Colin Montgomerie, but those names probably mean nothing to you, so let’s keep moving forward. I’m going to be doing just that with this new set of glasses I bought myself, having picked Sergio to win the Masters back in December. 50-1 tastes real nice when sipped out of a new lowball…

As I mentioned last week, season 35 of Survivor is already shooting. And even though we’re on a spoiler site, I don’t want to mention anything about it. I know some of you are dying to know the Who, Where and What’s the Theme, but if you’re like me, you don’t want to know.

One of my Twitter followers decided to tell me where it’s shooting – even though I said I didn’t want to know – and spilled the beans. I’m not going to say who it was, or where the season is shooting, because I know a lot of people (me included) like finding out by watching the season finale and watching Jeff’s big reveal. I don’t get a kick out of knowing it early, or finding out the theme, or finding out who’ll be playing, but sometimes that can’t be avoided. I know a big deal was made of who was going to be on this season, so I went with it, but I’ve come to realize I really don’t want to know. Just let me find out like most other viewers, 2 or 3 hours later… Cursed, Pacific Daylight Time! It’s the most unkindest time zone of all…

So, I opened my laptop a few minutes ago to begin writing this column, and for some reason my Twitter page was up. And the tweet at the top of my page was from Jeff Probst, who needed to explain something about tonight’s Tribal Council. Now, this is the part that irks me because,

A. I don’t like to be on Twitter after 5pm on Wednesdays
B. I don’t want to know anything about tonight’s episode before I see it
C. Just what the f**k did the show do this week to screw up another Tribal Council!?

Look, we already can see the writing on the wall. Jeff is realizing he’s losing control of this season, and yet another catastrophe at Tribal has forced him to explain – yet again – how he’s not lost control of the season, and how the show didn’t jump the shark two episodes ago. And while some may argue I’m wrong about that, I’m going into tonight’s episode thinking something else went wrong at Tribal tonight, and I’m going to be a lot more pissedster than I already am.

Can one episode go down without Spartacus losing control of the chariot? I know these players all think they’re so savvy at playing the game, but do they have to do it at the expense of the show? A real fan (who’s playing) would realize how all these misdirections, whispered conversations, and rejection of Jeff’s authority might negatively affect the show, but not these clowns. They’re all trying to win a million, and truly don’t give a s**t about the Survivor brand. Methinks they should beware the ides of April. That, I’m convinced of…

Because the one thing that needs to happen on Survivor, whether it’s Survivor: Game Changers, or Survivor: 35, or Survivor: Legends, the players must respect the game and those who’ve played before them. I’m not saying this cast needs to lay down and give Ozzy the game (that would work for me!) but these players need to respect the fact that Jeff OWNS this show, and by pulling all these shenanigans at Tribal, it’s compromising his authority. And since he’s too passive to take the game back from the cast – and I don’t mean “passive” in a negative way, I just mean that Jeff’s approach has always been to “let the players create their own game” – but I do think he needs to step up and tell people when to sits their asses down and shut their f**king mouths.

In case you missed it, Coach mentioned in a tweet a couple weeks ago that “when a tribe is at Tribal, you keep your ass on your f**king stool.” Okay, I’m paraphrasing a bit, but you understand what he means; and we should all understand how serious Tribal Council was a few episodes ago where Jeff could only say, “Wow.”

I think he should have booted players for their indiscretions, but again, he lets them control their own game. I think it’s time Jeff asserts himself and starts issuing some warnings:

“If you get up from your stool…have fun at Ponderosa. You’re out!” And I’m sure the players would get the hint after the first dismissal…

However, none of that will ever happen so let’s just dive in to tonight’s episode. And again, based on what I read in Jeff’s tweet, I’m going to be pissed later. So, I’m going to need some time to vent, and some space to explore my anger. I hope I don’t offend anyone… Time to refresh and hit play on my DVR. You should grab some grapes of your own and watch the wiener dog race… It’s fascinating to watch those little dachshunds gallop.

Previously on…Survivor!

At Exile, Debbie got drunk, an extra vote, and knocked up by Cockring…
At Mana, Brad is spinning his web, and people are calling him, “Terrific,” “Radiant,” “Humble,” and “Some Pig!”
At Nuku, Varner is still at the bottom, and Tai is…being Tai. And now, Nuku must deal with the Boston Terrier

6 thoughts on “SURVIVOR: GAME CHANGERS – 4/14/17

  1. Pingback: Update on Where Episode #7 is Filming, “Survivor” Recap, & More of Rachel’s Guys – Reality Steve

  2. Hey. This is RSANON. They screwed up my account and I could not access it last week, so I had to form a new one. Excellent review as always. I really like how you review the show as it is on so that you make your jokes and predictions and then, WHAM, get smacked along side the head like the rest of us.

    1) I am enjoying the physical challenges this season because they are involving so much – physical, brains, mazes, balancing, swimming, etc. It may seem like too much for some, but this is a big reason why I watch the show.

    2) I am sooooooo sick and tired of the weak players banning together to get out the strong players. What has become of this show? The strong SHOULD survive. And I do mean physically strong and those that can manipulate and be mentally strong. But not those that band together because they are the weakest players and then high-five themselves when they make it to the end. If Ozzy does not finally win, I am going to be pissed. I wanted to see an Ozzy, Malcolm, possibly Culpepper or Sierra final. I know Michaela is annoying and her mouth would never let her win, but she is strong and plays hard. Let’s get the people who really win your challenges for you, get you your food, play the damn game into the finals and stop with these whiny-a@@ed people ruining it for all of us fans.

    3) Varner – what a total a@@hole! He outs Zeke, says that this PROVES he is deceitful, and then tries to tell us that he thought everyone knew. WHAT?!? Call him on that BS. He even tweeted that now that the episode aired. If everyone knew, why would you think he was being deceitful? I agree with you though. I immediately thought – why would they show us that. I certainly hope that they got Zeke’s OK for that to make it on-air. Although the way you talk, I kind of question that. I also thought at the time – Varner will NEVER be asked to come back again. And I do not think he should be. I cannot believe how low some people will go for a game. But look where being a nice guy got Ken last season, I guess.

    Thanks for continuing to do this for us – your fans! I am sure it is a lot of work, but please know we appreciate it.

  3. Not much for small talk this week ( congrats on your Garcia bet ) . I have only been watching Survivor for the last 7 years or so ( I have DVD s of older seasons though) . I have always put Survivor on a pedestal as being the most real of the reality shows . I don’t believe that anymore . I don’t know if its a quest for ratings due to horrible casting or just a money grab but I smell a rat . I find it hard to believe METAMORPHOSIS was just magically the word puzzle for this episode . Every other word puzzle or phrase has been Survivor related . Except this time . Why even air any tribal if it was so shocking . Suddenly Trans Gender laws and issues populate the news and Survivor coincidentally has a Trans Gender contestant ? I am not buying it for a second . Zeke was one of my favorites from last season and from this season but honestly I lost some respect for him . Not because of his gender preference because frankly its none of my business and I don’t care if he was born a man , a woman or a mermaid . If he feels comfortable as a man well by all means let him live as such . Do what makes ya happy Zeke . I believe he let himself become a pawn in a Survivor ratings ploy and political statement . Note to Hollywood !!! I don’t give a damn about your political thoughts and I assume you don’t care about mine . Don’t force your opinions down my throat because you think being on TV , a movie screen or a stage singing makes yours more important than anyone elses . Survivor you decided that making a political statement was more important than the show you have gotten rich off of for 34 seasons . I will be forever pissed about it and very well might never watch any seasons after this .

  4. Well i have been burnt out on Survivor for a bit, and not following too closely. Now I will even less. I thought I read on Zeke’s first season that there were rumors he was trans.

    Yes Varner is a complete ass, but Survivor is worse.
    Just a stupid ratings ploy. If Zeke wanted to remain un-outed, then just do all the usual cuts and don’t show that part of tribal. If this is some sort of political statement, buy an ad.

  5. Thanks for your comments, folks, I’m sure there’s a lot more discussion that needs to take place — possibly in this week’s column — and I feel the last episode will go down as THE most flammable one in the entire history of Survivor. Anyone else think this may be the one that “jumped the shark” for our favorite show?

    RSANON! Sorry for the web headaches. I have nothing to do with the site in that regard, but I’m glad you found us again! Thank you for liking my process. Yes, I prefer to write as I go, because then I’m not thinking about the end as I write the beginning. True, I could do that, and then steer the column toward a certain outcome, thus making it seem I’m prescient or something, but it’s A FRIGGIN’ REALITY TV SHOW, who cares if we’re able to predict anything…right? Honestly, there have been times when I did watch before I began writing, but I really don’t like to do that. Now that I have DVR again, I’m doing it “old school.” 1. I totally agree with you about the challenges. THAT’s why I watch. I don’t care about the social part (so much), and I don’t care about the hunger, I wanna see people being competitive and adapting to each challenge. That’s why I always wanted Ozzy to win because he was so good at challenges, and that’s who I wanna see win. 2. Totally agree! (you get it…). 3. I’ve had some very dark feelings about Varner and this whole situation. As much as I hated what he did, I do blame CBS for airing it. I tweeted an interview that Jeff did with Katie Couric about it and he was so, “We all talked about it and Zeke was okay with it, so we aired it all.” What a load of crap! CBS uses this whole situation as a play for ratings and look what it got them – THE most talked about episode of Survivor ever! They can justify it all they want that “Zeke said it was okay,” and, “it’s a great opportunity to show how vulnerable trans people can be and how they can overcome,” and all that b.s., but IMHO, they should not have shown it. Just cut Tribal short and say that Varner was “eliminated due to a violation of game ethics” and move on. But no, they had to make it into the most political thing I’ve ever seen on Survivor. Force feeding us how we should think about the whole debate. And again, I don’t give a crap about how anyone wants to live their life, but don’t tell me how I should feel about it. Just play the friggin’ game… But thank you for all the nice things you’ve said, I hope we can all get back on track this week.

    Rick! Dude, you are passionate this week! I totally hear your inner voice yelling back at the TV. I’m pretty much on board with everything you said, specifically about using the word “metamorphosis.” That was too timely… And I’m not sure if I believe that Zeke just came up with his Tribal Council comment all on his own (but it’s possible). I mean, “Game Changers” could be construed as a metamorphosis, of sorts, but it was just too coincidental. And the fact the show has known the truth about Zeke since last season, during casting, just tells me they were planning on using this all along. Perhaps… So, Rick, I hear what you’re saying, but I think we all need to take a breath and see where things go. Most likely, the show will get back to what we fell in love with long ago. Everything on TV blows away, just waiting for the next windstorm to replace it… Thanks for your fire, though!

    doc! Reality Steve said the same thing to me about hearing about Zeke’s “secret” last season, but I never did. TBH, I wonder if I should feel bad about comparing his chest hair to a plescostomus — or Wilson from Castaway — but I still think that’s one of the funniest bits I ever wrote… 😉 And everything I’ve said in this comment agrees with yours. This was a big ratings play, and it worked. But they’ll never get how it alienates a significant part of their audience. But TV shows don’t care about that, because big ratings means big audiences, and they don’t really care about their “core fans,” they just want to sell ads… We’ll see how the show’s ratings go over the rest of the season. Perhaps the Finale/Reunion show will one of the highest rated episodes in recent years. And does anyone think that Zeke is not going to win it all now?
    Talk about a “story” that clinches it for someone. If I railed on the show last season for how unfair Adam’s story was, then this season’s champ has already been decided…
    Thanks for writin’ in, doc!

  6. Didn’t we see another player kicked out for violations in the first 5 seasons or thereabout? I’m with you, that would have been better and then Zeke could have spoken about it at the reunion, or not. However, to play Devil’s advocate, if Zeke plays on this, he will be unbeatable if he goes to F3. Everyone will be rooting for him. Does it make me evil to say that? Am I calculating? Have I morphed into the perfect, soulless survivor player???? Send help! And by help, I mean JP (I mean, yum) and some really good bourbon, please. I’ve jumped the shark with the show. Lets see if either of us recover!

    Love ya, Trish

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