Someone is itching to reveal some secrets tonight, and it’s not me. I saw a preview of Figgy wanting to open up to Jessica and Ken that she’s canoodling with Tayls, and I think that’s a really bad idea. I wonder if she’s thought this through…?
Welcome back for another round of “How Bad Can These Kids Play?” and I really hope someone isn’t going home that doesn’t deserve to go home? How does one “deserve” to go home on Survivor, you ask? Well, by basically being a jerk, lazy, ghetto, weak, or unaware of how the game is played. However, all those adjectives can be used to describe past winners of the show, so I guess it really doesn’t matter.
As I’ve mentioned many times before, the game is a fluid entity that’s always changing, rarely in stasis, and totally out of everyone’s control. It’s like trying to catch those bubbles you blow for your kids. You can manipulate them a bit, get them heading in a certain direction, but once you think you can catch one, it explodes in your face, splashing soap in your eye.
Jessica knows a little about that, considering her recent adventure with pink-eye, or maybe it was something else. Is this the season someone had a worm in their ear? I can’t keep it straight anymore. All I know is this season is becoming less and less appealing because the Millennials seem to have no idea how to play the game, except for a few notable exceptions (Zeke, Jay).
And rather than expounding on current affairs, network television, or social media, let’s get right to tonight’s episode, because I think things “they are a-changing.” (Congrats to Bob Dylan, by the way. And Bob, you can go get your Nobel now. Bob? Bob, are you there? Do you even want it?)
To the beach, Batman!
Hold on, though, just one cotton-pickin’ minute. Did you see Gotham this week? Since when is Penguin gay? Can they do that? Can they just take an established character like The Penguin and suddenly make him gay? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, mind you, but isn’t that a little peculiar? I didn’t even know Burgess Meredith was gay, and it makes me wonder what he meant by,
“You’re gonna eat lightnin’ and you’re gonna crap thunder.”
But I may be remembering it all wrong. Rocky was a long time ago…
Previously on…Survivor!
At Ikabula, the kids are running the show like it’s being shot at a Chuck E. Cheese…
At Takali, we’re one step closer to a FigTails porn being shot at camp…
…directed by Adam (yelling at Taylor, “Don’t stare at her mole, ‘aim’ for it…)
And at Vanua, Chris (Ed Sheeran) got into bed with his Okie buddy Zeke (insert a number of jokes here) to vote out CeCe leaving two Gen-X vs. two Millennials.
When Vanua returns to camp after Tribal (Night 15) they seem to be the most united tribe I’ve ever seen. There doesn’t appear to be any Gen-X vs. Millennials aggression or tension, confirmed by David in his confessional when speaking about moving forward with this group,
“It’s the people I trust vs. the people you trust.”
However, he may wanna talk to Zeke about trust, because this Okie’s still a Millennial, and he’s spittin’ out how silly Chris and David are for voting out CeCe “on the one tribe they had the numbers.” Ouch. He’s also feeling very empowered and comfortable now because he’s found himself in a power position with Chris, which is a far cry from where he was in the Millennial tribe two episodes ago. And with this new level of comfort, Grandpa is talking a big confident game, which typically is an indication he’s going to fall down…and can’t get up. But with him coming back in Season 34, he won’t go home anytime soon, right? I’m so confused…
LOVED YOUR RECAP TODAY. That was one of the best. I had to giggle when you mentioned “dropping your coconuts” and “grabbing your balls” in the same paragraph. What’s even more sad was when Jeff was explaining that challenge and talked about coconuts and balls, I was already wondering what Mr. Fish would write about that! You are right about Michela. I think we are supposed to think she’s just tough but she’s a mean grump who has a big time superiority complex. Please Jesus, Mary and Joseph, don’t let her win. Freaks and Zeaks, classic!! Yes, it was time for Figgy and her Mole to go. Poor Taylor. I wonder if he ever even got to 3rd base in the hut? I’m starting to like Ken more and more every day. He’s better looking than the guys 20 years younger than him. Wow! I think every woman in America over 40 is now Team Ken. Hanna reminds me of someone too, but I can’t place it yet. She’s like a weird little mouse. I don’t get why Sundae (that’s hilarious BTW) bugs you so much? She seems to be flying under the radar so far to me. Keep up the messages about hugging your kids. Best thing we can talk about all day. That being said, I have to go pick up my sweetest little kindergartener and mini survivor fan from her car pool line. You sound like a great dad and husband Fish. Keep it up! 🙂
OMG, kinb, I love your comments. Thank you for writing in, you’re so sweet. Funny, but I wasn’t even trying to be dirty when I mentioned the coconuts/balls thing. I think you might have a dirtier mind than I do… 😉
I think you’re onto something with Michaela. I may be wrong, but she strikes me as the kind of girl who’s been on the wrong side of many things who was always taught to talk a big game to overcompensate. God, I hate people like that… And those people shouldn’t win Survivor.
Considering how much she’s been ripping Taylor in all her interviews, I think Figgy must have really liked Taylor. Then, when she found out he had a baby momma, she’s like, “WTF?! I ain’t gonna be the fourth wheel in this episode of “Chitty Chitty BANG BANG.” But, she’s gotta trash him — like many exes do — just so she doesn’t look bad. (Psst, Figgy, here’s a little secret, you could just stay above the fray and just say it “didn’t work out.” But no, gotta get her Bitch on…). And since she said he was ready to “make babies” in the shelter, I’d say it’s a good bet he got “Two in the Figgy, One in the Piggy”… (That doesn’t even make sense…)
Yes, Ken is a handsome man…
I gotta know who you think Hannah looks like. There are so many middle-aged Jewish men it could be…
Sunday is just a non-player who keeps avoiding Tribal. I don’t know why I don’t like her. Probably something to do with that accent…
Thanks for the well wishes. Someday I may actually open up a little instead of just hinting around. Probably best I don’t for now. Be good, Momma! XO