SURVIVOR: GAME CHANGES FINALE – 5/26/17

We’ve reached Day 37 and it’s the next Immunity Challenge. It involves maneuvering a ball through a series of obstacles on a table maze and balancing it on metal paddles that have to be manipulated carefully. It’s the challenge Keith Nale won back on San Juan del Sur when he was able to practice for a few hours beforehand.

Brad has his scary game face on as Jeff removes the Dreamcatcher from around his neck. After he describes the challenge for the players, it’s clear where Aubry’s mind is today.

“Balls.”

Let’s get right to it, shall we?

While some can’t figure out how to block the ball from falling out of the first chute, others are making some progress. Sarah takes the early lead, with Brad hot on her heels. When she drops her ball near the last obstacle, that clears the road for Brad to take the lead. He succeeds working the pole up to the top and drops his first ball in. Meanwhile, Tai, Troyzan and Aubry all have Cochran’s balls on their minds…

Sarah loses another ball and Brad brings his 2nd one home. While everyone else is floundering, Brad completes the sweep and drops his last ball into the chute. Immunity again! And after getting some love from everyone, Brad is very emotional as he heads over to Jeff to take the necklace back. With tears in his eyes, he tells us,

“That was for Monica,” and he’s obviously forgotten all about Sierra by now…

As we head to commercial, Aubry confesses that since Brad really hasn’t cozied up to her at all, she knows she’s going to have to work some magic to get the numbers on her side. Otherwise, she’ll be heading to Ponderosa toot sweet…

When they return to camp, Brad is telling us how focused he is on each challenge, which is why he’s been so dominant. He’s got his “eyes on the prize,” and is beginning to get a little cocky about his chances of winning it all. He, Troyzan and Sarah quickly confirm their vote will be for Aubry tonight, and the look in Brad’s eyes is almost scary. He’s not a guy you wanna turn on…

Troyzan then theorizes it makes sense to take out Aubry now, because Tai’s ability to put two cohesive words together in a final speech is lacking. However, based on how difficult it is for Troyzan to put a simple sentence together to tell us what he’s thinking, makes me think he’s seen way too many Cheech & Chong movies back in the day.

A little later, Sarah has a chat with Tai and Aubry, who is making some sense. Aubry says if she goes home tonight, and Brad wins another Immunity, that means it’ll come down to a 50/50 chance that Sarah or Tai will go to FT because they all know Brad is taking Troyzan (the goat) with him. However, if these three can band together now and take out Troyzan tonight, then they all have a 67% chance of going to FT (if Brad wins Immunity). It’s simple math, and TBH, it kinda makes a lot of sense. Sure, you put an automatic vote FOR brad on the jury, but you gotta get to FT to win the game.

So once again, Sarah finds herself in between alliances, and she’s willing to consider Aubry’s proposition. But before she can do that, she’ll need to make sure she can trust Tai. And from the Frankenbyted sentence the editors just cut together to make Sarah say that, I’m unsure the next scene means anything…

The two break off to have a chat, where Sarah hands Tai a bunch of bull that he is the one she’s cared about most this whole game. Which is why she was so hurt when he turned on her. I’m not sure I’m buying it, but Tai doesn’t seem to be able to process when someone’s lying to him. All she wants to know is who does Tai want to take out next, and then she’ll say whether she thinks it’s a good idea.

“I think, get Aubry out,” he tells her. And his rationale that she’s the one player he can’t beat is perhaps…lacking…in merit. I think the only person he could beat is Troyzan, but I’m not even sure he could do that. And didn’t Tai just give Aubry one of his idols?! This cat is so confusing.

He then cuddles with Brad on the hammock, who is evidently having his Testosterone gel snuck into camp. Seriously, the tone of this conversation is so close to bullying, I’m surprised Will and Dan Foley aren’t standing off to the side, cheering on Squidward.

“I control who goes to Final Four,” he tells Tai, “and if I get you to tomorrow, you gotta assure me you’ll be my bi*ch for the rest of the show.”

You can see Tai is struggling with this conversation and how Brad is bulldozing him to do what he wants, which is starting to make me feel uncomfortable. Or maybe it’s just that these two guys are spooning. (It’s the vodka). Brad tells Tai to vote Aubry, and warns, “I’ll see who you voted for, ‘cause I’ll be here tomorrow.”

What a dick.

Tai is feeling a bit threatened (you think?) and intimidated by Brad’s “diplomacy,” so he runs off to Sarah to let her know he just wet his shorts. He reveals what Brad told him – and how he told him – and is now considering taking out Troyzan to say “f**k you” to Brad. Sarah is worried that Tai is once again reconsidering his vote before Tribal, and knows she’s a little at the mercy of the Tree Whisperer.

Or, this last scene was just set up by the show to make us think Tai is unsure what to do, so now there’s a little bit of drama right before we head to Tribal.

Night falls and everyone arrives at Tribal. Jeff gets straight to business.

-Troyzan is hoping he’ll be able to compete in something…someday
-Aubry is smiling at Troyzan’s admission he “may not be here tomorrow” and admits she’s on the chopping block
-Sarah says everyone is just trying to make it one more day…
-Troyzan claims everyone is talking to everyone else and hoping to solidify a Final 3
-Aubry puts on her logical face and says “there’s another way to go” tonight
-Jeff lets the jury know she means “taking out Troyzan”
-Tai says he’s done the math and is considering the percentages.
-Sarah admits she’s also thinking about “who to send to the jury,” and it may be different for each person.
-Troyzan is perturbed that no one considers him a challenge threat… (seriously?)
-Brad finally opens his mouth and says he needs to win the next Immunity Challenge to have any chance of winning it all
-Jeff then asks everyone if there are players they believe they can’t beat, and everyone says there are. Except Troyzan, who thinks he’s already won this thing… What a moron.
-Sarah wraps it up by saying maybe tonight’s vote is really about F3 and not just F4.

We’ll find out soon, it’s time to vote.

With one vote for Troyzan and one for Aubry revealed, it’s gonna come down to Sarah and Tai’s vote. And from the way Sarah aimed her marker at the lower half of her parchment, I’m guessing she’s about to write an A, because if she’s about to write a T, then that would be at the top half of the parchment…right? Or am I overanalyzing way too much? Jeff reads the votes (no idols left, and I wonder if they hid one today?).

Aubrey
Troyzan
Aubry
Aubrey

And with a smirk on her face telling me she’s a lifelong geek who’s been let down by poor decisions and the cool kids, the geek saunters away from Tribal, and is super excited to be on the jury. Burying your emotions behind a thin veil of excitement, much?

It’s Day 38 and we’re about to start our final Immunity Challenge. As the helicopter camera flies around a hill, it reveals a giant waterslide, tower structure and various obstacles. This one will most definitely require strength and durability. Let’s hope that bodes well for Mr. Bossy Pants. And once again, Brad’s got his serious face on, ready to do battle. Should someone remind him he needs to be entertaining too? He’s starting to worry me with these mood swings…

Jeff describes the challenge, which will require players to retrieve 3 bags of puzzle pieces while dashing through the various obstacles, and then assembling a lighthouse puzzle. Once it’s assembled, three other pieces need to be untied, revealing a combination. We know what’s at stake, let’s get right to it.

But does anyone want to comment on the potato sack Brad is wearing? Nobody? Good, me neither…

Jeff calls “go” and the players sprint to get their first set of keys. Sarah takes the early lead but slows down going up the stairs. She maintains a lead all the way to retrieving her third set of keys, but Brad catches her at the 3rd bag of pieces, and passes her when he chooses the right key to open the lock. As they begin assembling their puzzle, it’s going to come down to who can figure out the puzzle fastest. Tai places the 1st piece first, but Brad quickly places piece after piece. Sarah seems to have fallen out of it as she can’t find the right first piece.

Brad finishes the bottom part of the puzzle and opens the other bags to reveal the combination. He quickly finds the right sequence, thus revealing the final puzzle piece. He places it accurately, and wins the final Immunity Challenge. This dude is a beast! And now it’s time for everyone to give him a little love, hoping he’ll wanna take them to the end. Tai even tries the Sierra loin hug on him, but Brad wants nothing to do with Tai’s wood…

In fact, Brad doesn’t seem to want anything to do with anything as he simply stares at the ground, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. Uh, I think it’s time for the Survivor Medical staff to get out here and take a quick assessment of Brad’s mental state. He’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown, or some Brandon Hantz event. He’s scaring me…

As we head out, Brad confesses he’s in control of this game and he’s going to decide who’s going home. It’s gonna be Tai, because “he’s betrayed me the whole game,” but methinks that’s not the best way to win Survivor. Brad is blinded by his own ego right now and thinks he can beat anyone, so he’s clearly not thinking straight. Between the three players who don’t have Immunity, the only one who would have a chance to beat Brad is Sarah, but Brad’s not even seeing that. He’s pissed, and wants to take out one of the goats. Bad move, bro, I don’t think Monica would approve…

Back at camp, it’s now Troyzan’s turn to do the “loin hug” on Brad I’m just amazed Brad can get to 2nd Base with so many different people this season. I think he’s going to need an STD test at Ponderosa when this is all over…

But for now, Brad’s more interested in telling us who he’s going to take out, and that’s going to be the guy who’s “done him wrong, the most.” And that would be Tai. Um, hey Brad, don’tcha think you should be thinking about How To Win, and not Who To Take Out? I mean, you have seen the show, right? You do know how this works…?

But, Brad being Brad, and being a dumb jock, he thinks his five challenge victories makes him bulletproof. And now that he’s a trial attorney now, he believes his s**t doesn’t stink and can convince the jury of anything. I’m starting to believe the edit he’s getting doesn’t bode well for him, because he’s coming across as some kind of Super Jerk right now.

Tai and Sarah discuss the only option left for them, and that’s to both vote for Troyzan and hope they can beat him in a fire-making challenge. Sarah is little leery about putting all her cards on whether she can make fire, and is only finding out now how to do so. I think she should have researched that a little more before the season, don’t you? Isn’t that, like, a requirement to be a Game Changer? But, there’s no more time left, as players are heading to Tribal. We’ll find out what happens soon. Off to our final normal TC of the season.

Everyone files in and shoots one final stink-eye at the four remaining players. They’re seriously giving stink-eyes! And see the way Zeke puffed out his chest? I think he may be regretting some decisions…

Aubry is the last to enter, sporting her new Linda Lavin hairstyle from 1984. She definitely works hard for the money… Jeff asks his last series of questions:

-Brad spills that while it’s great to be a challenge stud, now “we” must decide who to put on the jury
-Sarah says the “we” means Brad and Troyzan, leaving her and Tai to flounder
-Tai confirms that, but says they can force a tie if they both vote for Troyzan
-Sarah says that’s an option, but she’s thinking about final 3
-Tai says they can both reach final 3 if they work together
-He also tells everyone that Brad is a bully
-And then Brad proves he’s a bully
-Tai is dead set on creating his own “destination” (destiny?)
-Troyzan proves he’s out of his league by admitting this is the first time he’s thought about a tie
-Brad agrees that if Sarah and Tai feel uncomfortable with their situation, they can force a tie
-Tai drops the hint to Sarah that she might be being lied to
-Troyzan says he’s “trusting his gut” and is either F3 or building fire. No problemo, el Jefe.

It’s time to vote and I think if Brad votes out Sarah, he’d probably get her vote. But if he votes out Tai, there’s no way he’s getting his vote. Just another example of how Monica is the brains in that family. JFC, can you imagine if he was your trial attorney? Who the f**k is he representing? Rich, dumb, frat boy jocks at the Univ. of South Florida accused of hazing? Whatevs, it’s time to vote.

Troyzan and Tai write down each other’s names and if the editors had some balls, they’d show Sarah writing the letter T. No such luck… Jeff reads the votes.

Tai
Troyzan
Tai
Tai

And boom goes the Crotch Rocket Queen as Tai leaves proudly, humbly, and with class. Other players could learn a thing or two from how some adults get voted out. And as Jeff congratulates the Final 3 players, I’m stuck on the fact that – once again – Brad is sitting there like a f**king zombie, unable to act like he’s still in charge. He just appears…creepy. It’s unsettling.