It’s Day 26 and we’re off to tonight’s Immunity Challenge. In it, players will need to hold a rope that balances a table. Players then retrieve blocks, one at a time, to stack and spell the word “Immunity.” We’ve seen this a few times, and I really like that it doesn’t favor anyone. Jeff takes the Dreamcatcher back from Tai and says “Let’s get it on…”
The summary:
Andrea is in the lead
Tai is an idiot
Everyone is productive…but
Tai is an idiot
Andrea maintains the lead
Then Troyzan places his 7th letter first
Causing Andrea to panic and drop her load…
Brad places his 7th letter, and immediately drops his stack
Troyzan is the only one with a shot at winning and with the support of Brad and Debbie, Troyzan successfully places the “I” and retreats back to his platform. Troyzan wins!
“This is my platform!” he screams.
And once Troyzan is fitted with the necklace, it’s Game On as Sierra confesses it’s time for Andrea to go home. She’s a playa, and not in the Maku Major alliance…
Once they return to camp, it’s go time for everyone. Brad, Sierra and Debbie head off, and it’s Debbie’s inclination to get rid of the annoying Michaela first, for eating too much. Brad is more interested in targeting Andrea, because she’s a much stronger threat. I’m not sure why Andrea is viewed as such a huge physical threat, but maybe they’re judging her by the strudel she cooked recently. The Maku Major group convenes to confirm the vote is Andrea but the misdirect is going to be Michaela, and Sarah realizes her place in the Maku Major 6 may be #6, because no one’s including her in any decisions. It may be time to cut lose and flip for Sarah…
She speaks with Zeke about what their move could be, and it’s agreed it may be time to make a big move against the Maku Major alliance, which is how Zeke likes to play. To accomplish that, he’ll need to work with Andrea – which he’s not keen on doing – but he’ll do what he needs to do to stay alive. Sarah then heads over to Andrea to take her temperature, and Andrea is naturally ready to work with anyone. She’s a little concerned that Sarah is still in the Maku Major alliance, but since she’s at the bottom of it, it may be “a good thing” to still be included in it. They hug it out and Andrea hopes the huge target on her back is pointed somewhere else tonight.
Sarah then heads over to Sierra, and the bull-rider tells her that in her mind, the perfect Final 3 would be the two of them and Debbie, which makes Sarah believe she may not be at the bottom of the Maku Major alliance after all.
Debbie speaks to Aubry about “the plan” and that they want to target Andrea or Michaela, and with all the BS Debbie is throwing at Aubry, the former dork realizes she’s being handed a plate of hooey. The rolling of Aubry’s eyes confirms she’s not buying any of this.
Aubry then tells Sarah what Debbie said, and somehow, Sarah now thinks she can’t trust Debbie, so everything is jumbled once again, and I don’t know what’s gonna happen. I think I like it this way so let’s just fast forward to Tribal Council. Is that okay?
Players take their seats and the jury enters. And does anyone else think Hali and Ozzy did the nasty at Ponderosa? He’s single, she’s single, he’s got a big d**k, she’s single… I’m hoping a little Ozzli pops out of her after 40 weeks…but I just did the math and that would have been April 7th, 2017, I guess they used a condom or six…
Jeff queries the contestants:
-Cirie is still getting airtime with her “near drowning”
-Sarah is a good person
-Andrea knows she’s “on the bottom” and who isn’t thinking of sex again right now?
-Zeke confirms Andrea is right
Honestly, there are other things mentioned, but it seems like Andrea knows she’s at risk, and let’s just see where idols, extra votes, advantages, or magic comes into play. It’s time to vote!
But wait, Michaela must once again prove she’s a damn boo-boo fool and opens her mouth. Now everyone is reconsidering if they should just get rid of her. I know I would…
Votes are cast, revealing ones for Andrea and Debbie, and when Jeff goes to collect the urn, Sarah does not speak up and use her extra vote (thank god!). No hidden idols are played. Jeff reads the votes:
Andrea
Debbie
…and once again, Michaela starts doing something stupid and distracting. Or maybe the show is just showing us that Michaela is doing something stupid and distracting. Ya think they don’t like her either…?
Andrea
Debbie
Andrea
Debbie
Andrea
Debbie
Andrea
Debbie
Debbie!
Boom goes the Westminster Kennel Club as a new applicant is being considered. Can you just imagine Debbie running around that course jumping over low walls? So, did anyone see this coming? Does anyone care? All I can think about is how the Ponderosa arrival is going to be between Debbie and Ozzy. Let’s hope she doesn’t want a ménage a trois to make it up to him.
Next time on…Survivor!
The game is continuously afoot as everyone knows the deck has been shuffled again. The Maku Major 6 is now Maku 5A vs Maku 5B. Can’t wait to see how next week plays out.
Debbie barks out her final words, but I don’t understand what she’s saying. I think she wants to “go for a walk” and I don’t wanna think about picking up after her. Not sure these bags would handle that waste… (I hope I never meet many of the players I’ve ripped over the years…)
I guess that’ll do for this week. Still haven’t put much thought into all this Survivor swag I have and how to get rich off it. I’m still taking suggestions.
So, what are your thoughts on the state of Survivor? Are you guys feeling they’re trying to top themselves every week, too? I totally understand marketing – I worked at a theatrical marketing company for over 8 years – so I can see what they’re trying to do. It just seems they’re trying too hard. It’s almost as if some young marketing hot shot was handed the Survivor account and had no idea what the show’s all about. Not to belabor the point but when did all this “extra-curricular” activity mean more than the actual competition, alliances, and challenges?
Remember when alliances were super strong and could decimate another group by sticking together for 4-5 votes? Sure, it sucked to be on the weaker alliance, but it just proved that you had to make alliances early, and keep them strong. Everything went haywire a few seasons ago and players started worrying about making Big Moves rather than earning the win at Final Tribal. A resume is built on making smart gameplay choices, earning the respect of your competitors, and not pissing off everyone around you. For some reason, everyone thinks these “pliable alliances” are so in vogue, but it’s really just “keeping up with the Joneses.”
What I’d like to see – once – is an alliance of 4 or 5 strong players who just annihilate every challenge, vote as a bloc consistently, and decimate all the remora players who hide in the shadows. I read somewhere that someone said they’d like to see a season with just all athletic studs and goddesses. And yeah, I’m sure they could find some athletic smart people too to kill it at puzzles and memory challenges. Throw in some awesome boob jobs, and you’ve got a winning season.
Maybe I need to go back into the marketing world…
Have fun this week, friends, and remember to keep looking forward. Take it from me, there’s no joy in looking at everyone’s mistakes, we all just need to move on. And rather than trying to fix all the problems that surround us, perhaps just focus on what’s good in your life, in your relationship, in your family, and hold on to that. That’s what Fish is going to do, and let’s see where we end up…
By the way, I’ve been asked to give a speech at a big charity event telling my family’s story of homelessness and struggle last year. I don’t think there’s a way I’ll work Survivor into my speech, but do know that this column, and all of you, were part of my therapy. Writing for you helped me out of some dark corners, and the support you’ve shown me kept me strong. (Yes, there was one of you who was hating a little much…). But I just wanted to recognize all of you and how much I appreciate your support. Now, gotta practice my speech a few more times because I suck at public speaking. Does Grey Goose deliver…?
Bacchanalia bound after the speech,
Fish
Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
Twitter: @BF_TheFish
AIM: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com or Bryan Fischer
Fish I may have to stop reading these if you keep hating on Michaela so hard! What exactly your problem with her? Her immaturity? Do you think she’s clueless? What is it?!
I totally agree with you about the Cirie stuff this week.. What is inspirational about someone not being able to pull themselves on a platform and everyone stopping to watch her struggle?? How about working out once or twice before you go on a show like this??
I don’t agree with you on alliances vs voting blocs. Voting blocs keep the game more exciting and I think makes more sense in the grand scheme of the game. Keep up the entertaining writing every week!
I look forward to the recap much more than the show. First thing I thought while semi-watching was how much f-ing time are they wasting on this Cirie BS. And who the f puts Cirie in the anchor leg! ( not that it mattered) Did Zeke have a baby? Sure looked like he had some baby damage.
With the trend of taking weak players to the end, just how annoying was Debbie that they booted her? I’ve sort of lost track of the the extra advantages, is it now one per episode? I’m not a big fan of all the extra advantages. Make someone earn it, not a bonus for being exiled, not picked.
Good luck on your speech. I’d be curious to read it if you’d ever like to post it. I’m glad that part of your life is sorting itself out.
I’m here because I enjoy your perspective, but for me the “characters” they have left are slightly more enjoyable then Blood v Water 2. I agree that is seems they are casting more for “characters” then for players.
MVD! Please don’t go! I’ll be totally straight with you, what I hate about Michaela is that she acts like such a petulant child anytime something doesn’t go her way. It’s like she can’t separate what happens in the game from real life. THAT’S what I hate about her. And it appears that the show is also setting her up as a crazy bitch when they show her antics at FT. They don’t need to show her pouring a drink or whatever she’s been doing. They could cut away to other footage, but they choose to show it, meaning they’re choosing to cast her in a bad light. I don’t care why she acts the way she does, I just think she’s terrible at a game like Survivor. Suck it up, play along with some things, start masterminding your own defense. She’s never been able to work anything out, gameplay-wise. The best compliment I can give her is that she’s…f**kable. And yes, I took a look at how much time the show spent on the Cirie drowning and it was remarkable how long it was. Seriously? You mean there was no other dialogue, plotting, idols searches, or anything else to make up for all that Cirie crap? I’m not a fan of the voting blocs, but I love that you are! Fans have to be all over the board for us to have these discussions, right? At the end of the day, it’s a bunch of people playing a game months ago, so the fact we’re saying “They should have done this or that,” makes no sense. But it keeps us connected. Hope you stick around for the rest of the season! XO
doc! Thank you. That means a lot to me. I was dumbfounded at how much time they spent on Cirie. Something must be happening later in the season with her that they needed to set up with this whole debacle. I truly hope she’s not at FT explaining why she deserves to win. I wrote about Debbie’s Ponderosa video. She managed to be creepy, and nerdy, and pervy, and so many other negative things. I think she’s used to being made fun of, so she just runs with the “crazy chick” approach to life.
Lynne! Welcome! I’m trying to get it posted, without too much personal information revealed. I’ll try though… But thank you for your kind words. I think we lost a lot of characters earlier this season, so I’m kinda stuck on hating right now. I’m seeing too many weak players still have a chance to make it to FT and that bugs me. I pray we have a strong FT with no goats. Hope you’re there to send in a comment. XO
Hey Fish, sorry I was MIA last week. Just got busy. Ok, a few quick things before I forget them. 12 year old bartender Jack remarked this week that Brad Culpepper “looks like Squidward.” After he said it, I actually could see the resemblance. He also felt that Sarah had saggy boobs (I can’t believe I laughed at my 12 year old son saying this) and for some reason he hates Troy (we refuse to say Troy-zan, maybe that’s why we kind of hate him?). Totally agree about the “most powerful moment on Survivor.” Uh, I like Cirie but she made her tribe lose the challenge (probably) and was too tired and flabby to haul herself out of the pool. I don’t see how she conquered anything? The Powerful Moments are getting really stupid. Remember last year how there was all that crap when geeky David won some challenge. Shut up! And Zeke, I didn’t get to comment last week. So if Zeke is a girl, who wants to be a guy who likes guys, why not just stay a girl? (sounds like a logic problem from a college class) Jack said, “so that would be like me becoming a woman so I could date other women right?” Uh yeah! Doesn’t the whole thing just cancel itself out? I’m so confused. I will say that Zeake’s doctors are amazing. He has the total flabby dad bod. (yes, someone actually paid for a dad bod!) I would NEVER guess that was a female body. The chest hair etc is amazing. The only time I thought maybe Zeake was a girl was a shot that showed his total pear shape. He has better hips than I do. Ok, enough about that. I don’t get why they voted Debbie out. If you are going to screw up that alliance, shouldn’t you vote Brad or Sierra out. Debbie won’t win anything and voting her out is just a “lets get out the annoying person vote.” I bet Ozzy is the only one who got true satisfaction out of that. Michela is annoying. You are right. She has that permanent grumpy face that a 3 year old makes when they don’t get to have a cookie. She was so busy trying to get down the perfect casual pout pose on that platform that she never saw the stupid clue. If she’d only sat there like a normal person and hung her head down in sadness, she’d have found it. She must be even more annoying than they show her to be on TV for any team to pick Cirie over her (she is fit and in shape). I think Cirie seems like a super sweet person so everyone likes her. It could be that as much as the powerful moment was cheesy and overblown (ha Fish, I said “overblown), Cirie must be super well liked. She’s probably one of the biggest threats of all. Everytime they get an eating/food reward, Jack and I laugh and say they better not overeat or they will get their plumbing all backed up and suffer from a massive turd blockage like the poor old guy did last season. I’d be sitting there eating a salad if I won, that would make me so paranoid. Who do I hate, I hate Sierra the most. She is super smug and annoying. Aubry is super boring this season. Everyone else is ok. President Elect Debbie is really odd. She and Phillip need to get together. Fish, I hope you have a great speech. Stick with your wife and kids and stay strong. You are a very talented writer and a funny guy. We are pulling for you. (no, not pulling IT for you dirty boy!)-Luv me.
What happened to the Cirie and Michaela show ? Cirie s team was never going to win but Aubrey , Zeke even Andrea over Michaela is dumb . Doesn’t make sense . Fish that’s todays society we make weak people seem brave . Cirie seems like a great mom , role model and women but there is no glory in being weak . Not being able to pull yourself from the water to a platform is weak . This makes me think even more that the whole Zeke thing was staged . Survivor you may want to look at ESPN for an example as to what happens when you force your political and social views on people who don’t care to hear them . Watching Debbie get blindsided is the one redeeming quality from the last few weeks of what has been an awful season !
I have agreed with you several times that I am sick of the whole “take a goat to the end” way this game is going.
WTH?? were both teams thinking that they skipped Michaela. She would obviously be a better competitor than 2/3 of the rest of the players. Don’t they WANT to win? This is not an episode of Friends. Yes, she has a bad attitude a lot. But when it comes to a physical challenge – TAKE HER. Cirie talked about sitting out as much as possible because physical challenges are not her thing. I like her, but ….. that is a part of the game. I know she was a captain, but maybe she should have asked to sit this one out.
I know Sierra or Brad would have been a good vote for the Minor alliance also, but I was thrilled the Debbie was taken out. Her actions, comments, and facial expressions are worse than Michaela’s – honestly. Take a step back and think of all of her bragging and melt-downs. She is worse than Michaela, and I am so glad she did not make it any farther in the game.
This now leaves us with some strong competitors. I would rather see them align and give us a show – Sierra, Brad, Michaela, Andrea has been holding her own, Sarah is pretty good. I would rather see an alliance like that. Still pissed about the Ozzy vote last week, but Debbie going home helped that. I cannot stand that woman.
Good luck with the speech!
Loving all the comments, dudes!
Kate- I forgive you. Everyone needs a break… I totally see Squidward now! How could I not catch that? For some reason, when I think of Sarah, I don’t think of her boobs at all. Not sure that’s good or bad, but it could be because of the accent. I just don’t like the way she sounds, so her looks don’t interest me. And Jack’s talking about boobs? Watch that one… I’ve never heard my 15 y.o. talk about women’s bodies, so you’d better keep an eye on your kid. 😉 Troyzan is like an old pervy photographer asking girls if they’re interested in taking “artistic nudes” at his studio. Funny how he ended up doing that. I wonder… Your philosophical question makes my head hurt. I said the same thing you said about Zeke to RS a couple weeks ago. It’s so weird. Like, who does he date? Other gay men, I guess. I don’t wanna think about his love life anymore. Moving on! Debbie is like every old chick that used to get voted out first: Sonja, Debb, Diane, Wendy Jo. How did she become a 2 time player? Michaela = Cookie Puss! That’s what I’ll call her!
I hate to break it to you, by Cirie was a captain. And I’m trying to figure out the order of picks. I presume it went down like this:
Brad picked Sierra
Cirie picked Sarah
Brad picked Debbie
Cirie picked Troyzan
Brad picked Andrea
Cirie picked Zeke
Brad picked Aubry
Cirie picked Tai
Who knows the real order, but how insulting is it that Michaela wasn’t picked? She is seriously better at challenges than everyone below Sarah, so you may be onto something with how much everyone hates her. Would love to find out the truth… Let me see if I can dig something up. Thanks for your kind words. We’ll see what the future holds (and whether they’ll be holding “it”) XO
Rick! I hear ya, man. Like I was just saying, the order of the picks reveals a lot about everyone’s dislike of Michaela. She must be awful to be around. Times have changed a lot since we were kids. The whole “mutual admiration society” we live in doesn’t produce the greatness it once did. As Judge Smails once said, “the world needs ditch diggers too.” I agree with your political comment, but I remember when I used to get annoyed at Survivor for pushing religion down our throats. Just stop! Doesn’t help that Probst is an ordained minister and Burnett produces Christian films. Keep that shit to Sundays (or Saturdays) and leave Wednesdays alone… At least Debbie took it well, that’s all I gotta say about that…
RSanon! I think I commented above on everything you wrote about. I guess we’re in sync. I’m just wondering if there’s some reason why Michaela didn’t want to participate. Period? And the show told her, “fine, sit out, and then play it up that you’re all Cookie Puss about it.” I mean, this show is all about players playing up their “character” so it wouldn’t surprise me if it went down like this. Whaddya think? And thanks for the glad tidings. The speech went well enough. 500 rich people on the Paramount Pictures lot watching a guy who writes about drinking all the time. If they only knew… But I thought it went well. I’m trying to find a way to post it, so everyone can see how poorly I read it… 😉 Fish may be revealed…!
Oh wow, I totally missed that Cierie was a captain. That further cements my thing that Michela is hated or you could be right and it was some sort of production meddling. Nice use of the Judge Smails quote. My husband and I say it often. One of my all time favorite movies.
Hi Fish!
Enjoy your recaps.
Since it seems others as curious as I am/was about Zeke, I thought I would share what I learned when I did a little research on him. Yes I have way too much time on my hands sometimes. 🙂
As we all have figured he was a girl and became a man. The most interesting fact to me about all of this is that he is engaged to Hannah from last season!
I am not sure if this helps us to make sense of his world or muddy it all the more.
Just had to share…
Nascargirl – I read they are best friends and “joke” engaged.
jwmmjwscw – Thanks for that. That’ll teach me to believe something on the internet! 🙂
hey Fish! I’ve been travelling for work but still reading! Even if I have to squint at an Iphone in an airport to do it! 🙂
I SO, SO, SO agree with you on Michaella. I cannot stand her childish pouts and postures. I will say, I got a bit of glee out of her SITTING ON THE ADVANTAGE and being too angry to even notice it and then the first person in the water to help/hoist Cerie out found it. Survivor Karma right there! Great luck on your speech, I am sure you will find the tides of goodwill will help overcome your nerves. People really relate and love someone who doesn’t allow their circumstance to define them or create a victim mentality. I’m proud of you! I’m new commenting but not reading! 😉 See you next week, I’m in my office Friday so I won’t be late to the comments this time around! xoxo Trish
Thank you for responding! Although I don’t agree with you on Michaela, your recaps are too entertaining for me to actually stop reading!
I find her tribal council antics hysterical, but maybe it’s because I’m a fellow millennial and can recognize the humor in it. Must have been hard to compartmentalize the game when it seems personal that everyone doesn’t like you just for being young and emotional…
I agree that she is bad at the social game but I feel Tai is weaker in that aspect and don’t understand why he doesn’t get the same flack for it as Michaela… at least Michaela is funny and recognizes she has weaknesses. Tai seems completely unaware of how truly incompetent he is at anything but finding hidden immunity idols. Hahah you are too kind to her!
I’m glad we can agree to disagree! It’s so interesting to hear the opinions of a past player and getting to engage with you about the show!
My best comment week ever! I’m glowing…
Kate – I knew I liked you, but I never pegged you for a Caddyshack fan. You just moved up two spots in my “Favorite People of All Time” list…
Nascargirl – thank you! I’m glad you like them. I hope they stay funny, or whatever you like about them. I remember seeing pictures of them after last season where they’re sitting in a tub together. I tend to believe it’s all a play for attention, which is kinda what I hate most about celebs and reality show “stars.” Thank God her time came and went…
RSanon – always dropping the hammer! 😉
Trish – Thank you for your words. It went well (enough). See below, and we’ll see you Friday!
MVD – I’m glad we can still see each other from different sides of the fence. That’s always important… I hear what you’re saying about Michaela. I think that’s one of the things we Gen-Xers hate about Millennials. You guys think your emotional outbursts are endearing, when we were taught they should be avoided. Potato-potahto… But I totally see your point on Tai. He’s awful, and so in the dark about his self worth in the game. TBH, I think people are more forgiving of his missteps because of his accent. Maybe people think there’s a translation/cultural issue with how he communicates, and no one wants to be the bad guy and call him out. Dude, call him out! It’s a frickin’ game, but everyone is too concerned with how they’re perceived. I would hope to be a little more provocative in my dealings with others. Hope to hear more from you, MVD!
Without further ado, I posted my speech on YouTube on my Fish YouTube channel. I don’t really use it but didn’t want it to only be seen by the 500 people at the event. And please forgive my poor public speaking, it was literally my first time… I made a couple edits, to protect a couple personal friends. Now everyone knows what I look like… Time to go on a diet…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGexhJn1E3U&t=5s