Okay, here’s the real highlight of the column. The List of Players I’d like to see return someday… Whether that’s on Season 32 or later, I’m just not done with these cats, or I just wanna see how they turned out, or I just wanna see how they’ve aged. A long time has passed since Survivor: Borneo, and I know the series has gone through different “stages” based on the television climate, and reality shows, and simply the way the game has changed. Now, blindsides are common, hidden idols are sought out without having clues, alliances form on Day 1, a**holes arrive on the beach with the sole purpose of being an a**hole, and no matter how many seasons the game is played, stupid players will come along and f**k everything up, play dumb, and still get farther than better players. That said, here are the folks I’d like to see again.
Classic All-Stars:
Ozzy
Amanda
Coach
Jerri
Penner
Malcolm
Lex
Alicia Calaway
Terry Dietz
Kelly Wiglesworth
Shii Ann
Matthew von Ertfelda
Adam Gentry
Mike Chiesl
Jaison Robinson
Erik Cardona
Dan Kay
Andrew Savage
The Challengers:
Alina Wilson
Matty Whitmore
Benry
Reed Kelly
Tasha Fox
Carter Willams
Ian Rosenberger
Chase Rice
Spencer Bledsoe
John Cody
Jon Misch
Ciera
Matt Elrod
Hayden Moss
Vytas
Marty Piombo
Brad Culpepper
Boo Bernis
I know you may scratch your head at some, or even cry out, “How could you leave off _____?!” I get it. I know there are a ton of other players. I could have just put up a list of the 20 hottest guys and girls and just say, let’s do “Survivor: Nudists” and have them play for 2 million…and a spread in Playboy, but I really wanna see players who know the game. The ones who are still hungry, who still have a desire to win (I’ve left off all winners, as you can see), and just the ones who seemed destined to do something great, but simply got burned by the turn of events. So please, if we’re presented with an open vote on who to bring back for Season 32, please consider these players.
But know that I wouldn’t mind seeing just a bunch of hot chicks either. Gotta have one throwaway season, right…?
So, until next week, please have a safe week. Watch some basketball, Walking Dead, Amazing Race, American Idol, SNL, and Gotham. And for the love of God, don’t vote for Daniel Seavey or Qaasim ever again. WTF is wrong with you American Idol!
Please send me your comments, tweets, emails, and any other form of communication. I love hearing from you. Truly. Kisses to all you ladies, fist bumps to the dudes, and I raise a toast to you all. Now where the f**k is the waitress…?!
IceCubesClinkingly,
Fish
Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/BF_TheFish
AIM: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com or Bryan Fischer
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You are an unapologetic and socially inappropriate master of recapping and I love it! You have a little flavor of Daniel Tosh, as long as you insult everyone about anything, it is all funny. Go boobs!
You hit everything i wanted to talk about.
A cop who can’t recreate a scene. I hope she is working indoors and not out on the streets. How did no one hear him or were the words added in later? Did everyone really get it in one shot (beside the last group) or more editing?
The turtle reward challenge must have had the lamest obstacle course. I could not believe how no one struggled. Will had no problems and where was his usual self-stereotyping comment?
At least we saw fish getting caught. But no celebration of fish being brought to camp and cooked and eaten.
I am not a fan of Jeff trying to influence the tribal conference. maybe switch things up, have the vote and then discuss.
Also not a fan of the blatant misleading on what is going on. Please show the steps that lead to the decision, don’t try to blindside the viewers. But it is not a blindside anymore, since if they push scenario A we know it is B or C.
No hook-ups this season? Did we see rodney at Karma during the Jersey Shore shows? Why was yahoo girl shown to be normal this episode? Once again how can a cop have observation skills so pathetic?
Still bored, but now I have the 36 bikinis to look at. So puts the So in Me so horny.
Thank you both for your comments.
susie – You need to be my agent. I’d take Tosh’s career any day. Go boobs!
doc – I knew we were on the same page…
-I’m guessing they were far enough away from the others to not be overheard, but who knows? Would be dumb to alert the others you’re throwing a challenge.
-And yeah, Will wised up. Maybe someone said something?
-That’s an interesting suggestion, have the vote first. I’m pretty sure the show would never do something so sacrilegious as that, lest they get thousands of angry fan comments. But it is an interesting idea.
-I think I know what you mean about misleading. You’re saying that Sierra knew exactly what she was going to do but left it open, right? If so, I know what you mean. Unless she’s a fantastic actress and sold everyone at Tribal.
-I guess hook-ups are not for “the greatest cast ever assembled.” But considering So is already banging Malcolm, I’m thinking she was in full “bone someone associated with Survivor” mode just to lengthen her “15 minutes.” We’ll see. I’m wish them luck, though…
-I’ve never seen Jersey Shore, but I’m sure a lot of guidos/ettes on the east coast found that show so frickin’ cool. That is so crazy to me. For ANYONE to think that show is cool dumbfounds me. But, I’m sure there are ethnic groups that wouldn’t like Survivor or the shows I like.
-I get you that it’s boring. I agree. I’m just wondering if the whole “labeling” players works to their disadvantage. If you’re on the show, just PLAY YOUR GAME, don’t try to “fit in” to the quality of the tribe you’re on. Like Lindsey’s whole “we’re Blue Collar, man, we work hard” thing. Just play your game. IDK, you never know what’s going on off-camera, but I think people have brought way too much “personal baggage” with them into the game: Rodney, Dan, Mike, Shirin, Vince, Nina, all of them seem to have some kind of agenda in their games. Agree?
Thanks again, keep writing in. I love talking Survivor!
B
Thank you for another hilarious recap – it was both wonderful and awful at the same time! And YES, for bringing back Ozzie, Penner and Malcom. Ozzie and Malcom for their beauty and Penner for his Alan Alda voice and mannerisms!!
jberry, you saying Alan Alda ain’t beautiful!? 🙂