Who’s ready for a 3-hour block of Survivor! Who wants to see how this rollercoaster of a season turns out? Who wants to place the final, lame, broken, dysfunctional piece of the Season 29 puzzle to rest? Am I being unfair? Too harsh? Too blinded by all the mistakes this group of players have committed? Maybe. But you know you want to get this one over with and move on to what is sure to be an amazing season…Season 30!
I guess you’ve figured out I couldn’t score any tickets to the finale. I tried, I really did. I even tried to score some seat filler tickets. THAT would have been interesting. The guy trashing (and defending!) the show at the finale, hiding behind other geeks who think this is the greatest night of their life. And wouldn’t it be grand if Jeff Probst read MY question at the finale. The one I asked him on Twitter about whether Missy grounded Baylor for all that crap she said about her mom and her choices of men. We’ll see, it’s only 8:30 and I’m just getting started. Who knows what surprises Probst has up his sleeve tonight…?
Based on last season’s finale, they’ll probably do some more of those live feeds from the finale. That’s always good because A. You see players/fans reactions to watching the show live, and B. That’s less for me to write about! You don’t know how much I loathe recapping the finale. All I want to do is be a fan and watch the show, yet there’s this burning desire to share with you the thoughts that pop into my head during a broadcast. I hope to God I have a few tonight.
And since the end of a season always brings some questions, there’s always the possibility that this may be my last recap. You never know. I’m not saying I don’t want to do this, and I’m not saying I won’t have the opportunity. I’m just saying that sometimes things are out of our control and you have to just roll with the changes… (cue: REO Speedwagon!)
“I knew it had to happen
Felt the tables turnin’,
Got me through my darkest hour,
I heard the thunder clappin’,
Felt the desert burnin’,
Until you poured on me,
Like a sweet sunshower…”
I can’t tell if Kevin Cronin is singing about finally being able to bang that hot chick he always wanted, or if he’s saying he’s gone gay and he’s letting some dude poop and pee on him.
Maybe I’m reading too much into the lyrics or maybe I’m just being melodramatic. You know the only place I want to be for Season 30 is sharing my innermost thoughts with you. And I can’t do that if RealitySteve didn’t provide me this wonderful forum to do that. So big ups to Steve for all he’s done for me.
But for now, let’s not think of the future, ‘cause baby…
“I know it’s late, I know you’re weary, I know your plans don’t include me. Still here we are, both of us lonely, Longing for shelter from all that we see. We’ve got tonight, who needs tomorrow? We’ve got tonight babe, Why don’t you stay?”
A tear just fell on my keyboard…
Okay, enough with the namby-pamby song lyrics. We got a finale to watch. And from the title “This Is My Time,” that can only mean one thing: It’s someone’s time…now. But whose time? Could it be…
Jaclyn – free from Jon, she now has the perfect Final Tribal speech prepared
Natalie – free from her “Twinnie,” which means this could be something Natalie does “all by herself” (cue: Celine!)
Baylor – free from the ashes of her mom’s failed relationships (too harsh?). It’s okay, Baylor cleared me saying that…
Keith – Yeah, right. It doesn’t say, “This Is My Dadgum Time.” Moving on…
Missy – Hmmm, yes the person I predicted at the beginning of the season with the best odds to win. I wonder if all that RealitySteve mojo is rubbing off on me? Did I spoil the season back in September…? Let’s stop wasting time. Let’s do this…to the episode!
And right off the bat, Jeff Probst introduces the show not by saying it’s the “Season 29 finale” (which sounds kind of big, right?) he calls it the Survivor San Juan Del Sur “FINAL episode.” Kind of like he wants to get this over with as well. Maybe that’s just me…
A lengthy recap reminds us of all the things that went WRONG with the season:
Coyopa can’t win
Hunahpu can win, but they can’t do anything else
There’s tension everywhere
There’s emotion everywhere
(after the merge) There are couples everywhere
And big moves are being made…everywhere
The one bit of new info is that Jon was blindsided with his idol in his pocket, so I guess Jaclyn ain’t getting that in the divorce…
Ok Bryan, you better not go anywhere! Now I’m going to be worried sick for 3 months. You better keep us posted if you do recaps elsewhere. 🙁
My thoughts/complaints/questions
1) Did Missy even break her foot? No recap on that? She kept saying it was broken yet they never did an X-ray. Kinda bugged me.
2)Reed’s speech was classic. Ouch. He must have been practicing that at Ponderosa for days. Give him a Tony!
3)I’m not fussing at you but man, why so anti-Keith? I myself have a soft spot for rednecks since many fairly close relatives are rednecks but let’s not digress. He actually did win immunity more times than most. You have to give him that. No, he wasn’t a schemer but it worked out somehow. He was a better player than Jac. or missy. I just think you were kinda harsh.
4)Everyone on the Survivor Facebook page thinks Alec was stoned at the final tribal. Do you think he could score that at Ponderosa?
5)What happened to Fan favorite? Also, notice no shots of past contestants…? I always love seeing them. I thought at least Tony would be on. (I loved Tony!) No Cass, no Woo? At least a grumpy shot of Russell (who I love even though you don’t like him)
6)Does the runner up win anything?
7)Don’t you think Jac looked just like Britney Spears at the Finale? But what an ugly yellow dress.
8)Loved the Christy MacNichol reference you did a few weeks ago with Wes. That was so funny! (showing my age here)
9)I actually fast forwarded through all the comments from Fans on the finale. Jeff, I could care less about the dumb fans, yes, call me mean but even the make a wish foundation kid.
I will miss these recaps each week. There is always a period of bad tv over the next few months. Even Homeland is almost over. Stay in touch Mr. Fish!!!
Not sure what I am more disappointed in, this season or the next season. The whole collar thing seems so contrived, so political, so much with the class warfare certain people are pushing these days. The white collar “makes the rules” , blue collar ‘follows the rules” is just bs. I am white collar and have never made any rules. Oh well off on a tangent perhaps the season will surprise me.
I was bored and did not fully pay attention, but the aftershow seemed pointless. No drama at all. The only thing I learned was that Reed and BF are religious, I some how missed that during the season.
I also did nor understand Jacyln’s statement on how the money will help her have kids. Too lazy to look it up, but is her condition treatable? That money can cure it?
Why was Missy forced to climb the tower during the last challenge? She was shown climbing down.
I think Missy had the funniest line, but perhaps I just heard wrong. She was talking about her experience with men and how with 7 men on the jury she should have no problems. Did she say she would have no problem taking on 7 men?
Kate – As my most dedicated commenter, I feel obliged to be straight with you. I’m not trying to take my “talents” (or lack thereof!) elsewhere. I’m just feeling like this juice ain’t worth the squeeze. I know it takes time to develop an online audience — and I do so appreciate the audience I have — but with the amount of time I have to put into this endeavor, with nary a dime earned, it’s just not making a lot of sense for my family. Perhaps I’ll contact Scott Ottersen to see what he experienced, but right now I’m thinking I need to be spending more time with the fam than watching a bunch of hillbillies run around an island. Not to sound bitter, but I used to have nothing but love for Survivor, but the past couple seasons have left a bad taste in my mouth. I began this adventure as a fan, and I’d like to remain one, so that might mean just being a viewer again. We’ll see how I feel come February… Regardless, I’ll always be happy to receive your emails/tweets/comments/etc.
Footgate: yeah, first it was not serious, then she was claiming she fractured her foot. What’s the deal? I saw tweets from Eliza stating the contract contestants sign mandates they participate in challenges. Why was she excused? Seems like the show decided it was too much work to boot her off than to just let her skate and see what happens. Kinda shitty if you ask me.
Speechgate: Yeah, with all of Reed’s Broadway/drama training, you know he knows how to deliver a speech. And it looked like it was rehearsed extensively. That’s what reality shows are about so screw anyone who says he was being cruel. She didn’t have to just sit there and take it (like Sherri didn’t do with Erik). Speak up woman, and tell that queen to STFU…
Keithgate: yeah, admittedly, I was harsh, but that’s because I don’t like rednecks on my shows if they don’t know how to play. I had no problem with J.T. but that’s because he knew how to play. And even HE pulled a boner with the Russell-clue fiasco. I just didn’t like that Keith was clueless about so many things… (and it was a writing device).
Alecgate: I have no doubt that Alec could score some weed in Nicaragua, all he had to do was ask the crew. I’m sure someone in construction or catering could hook that up. That’s usually who has it…
-I guess Fan Favorite went bye-bye a while back and no sponsors think it gives them anything. Too bad. Another victim of the show not wanting to “deal with it” anymore…
-I’m really surprised there may be no returning players for Season 30. As I said, it may all be a ruse, like Russell will come back as a Blue Collar, Spencer as a No Collar, etc… because Season 30 is supposed to be a BIG deal. I can’t see just a “normal” theme season…
-I’m not sure if this is accurate, but Yahoo Answers has the following:
1st Place: $1,000,000
2nd Place: $100,000
3rd Place: $85,000
4th Place: $70,000
5th Place: $55,000
6th Place: $45,000
7th Place: $35,000
8th Place: $27,500
9th Place: $20,000
10th Place: $15,000
11th Place: $10,000
12thPlace: $7,500
13th Place: $5,500
14th Place: $4,500
15th Place: $3,500
16th Place: $2,500
Mind you, this was from 5 years ago, so who knows…
-Jaclyn looked fine to me, but Missy looked oddly JUST LIKE JACLYN. Just goes to show you how deceptive make-up is cuz Missy looked totally different than she did on the island. She’s apparently my age (47) and she looked like a bucket of rocks on the show. But at the reunion show, she cleaned up rather well. Always frightening what lies makeup tells…
-Yeah, Kristy McNichol was my dream girl when I was 11-13 years old. The fact she was a tomboy was really sexy to me. I guess we now know why she was such a tomboy…
-And I’m with you on the crowd interaction at the Reunion. No one gives a shit about the crowd, or the kid, or the fans, or any of that. All we care about is the show, and maybe some former players. Not even Tyler Perry was worth a shit last year and they still spent time with him. Hell, Barry Bonds got more time on the finale than Kelley or Julie did. This is where Survivor fails. They think they’re big time producers but they still look like amateurs…
-I’ll endeavor to keep you informed where I land. It may very well still be here. I do kinda like it here… XOXO
Doc – I’m with you on the WC/BC/NC theme. It’s like someone got stoned and pitched the idea to a bunch of other stoners and they all giggled and said, “Let’s do it…” It’s really not THAT good, and it further divides people. Hell, I think Survivor: Legends or Survivor: Sabotage has more to offer than this, but let’s see how it plays out. As I said, it could all be a ruse.
-How could you not know Reed & Josh were Christian? It was one of their main story lines. Perhaps you don’t listen as intensely as I do but I do tend to lock myself away while watching…
-I haven’t researched exactly what MRKH is, but in my mind, it’s like something was wrong downstairs and she either had to have a hysterectomy or there was some other major “flaw” with her Easy-Bake Oven. I don’t need to know exactly what, I’ll just assume she’s looking up adoption agencies with that $85K…
-Yeah, funny how they’ll make Missy climb the tower to “get the shot” but they won’t make her play. I’ll bet you they wanted her to play, but some attorney said, “If she gets hurt, she could sue,” so they just let her sit out. Even though when you go on a show like this you essentially sign your life away.
-I missed that line from Missy but I’ll bet she’d have no problem taking on a room full of men…in court.
Take care, Doc…
Happy holidays, everyone, and Happy New Year!
Fish