After last week’s double episode, tonight’s recap should be a walk in the park. Get a good night’s sleep, review all the Twitter action I’m missing, watch some follow up interviews with the newly departed… That’s the plan, right?
Or do you think they’ll pull a fast one and actually give us a really good episode? That would be fine too. With all the chatter about how bad this season has been, it’d be great to have an epic episode that just rekindles our love for the game. However, I’m not holding my breath on that. For some reason, I still believe we’re in store for a lackluster Final Tribal with players who will probably validate this season as one of the worst. I hate saying that, but what else can go wrong? They can’t blindside another strong player, can they?
Off topic, I read a column today about how the show cracked down on players’ social media footprint during the season, and THAT’S why it’s so bad. The point was that fans can’t “get into” the players this season because they’re not reading tweets from cast members about the show until they’re voted off, or something to that effect. The suggestion by the writer is that rather than a social media blackout, the show really needs to educate the players on how to exist in social media during the season, but not to spoil anything. I don’t agree with that viewpoint.
One of the things that makes Survivor great is that it isn’t spoiled. With all due respect to my Burgermeister Meisterburger, RealitySteve, NOT spoiling this show is one of the things that makes it great. And I know Steve agrees with that. Every week unfolds with a relative amount of surprise, another piece of the puzzle is laid, getting us one step closer to that million dollar reveal. I’ll agree with him it doesn’t matter if we know which bimbo the dumbass chooses on Bachelor/ette, but Survivor is real. It’s players playing against one another. Lying, conniving, cheating, and competing. It’s a game show. It doesn’t pretend to be one thing (the search for true love) and then make a total mockery of it. It’s strictly about WINNING THE GAME, and even allows the players to determine their own course for winning the game, albeit with a “Truman Show” level of control…
Sure, there are seasons with better “players,” bigger personalities, more interesting stories, snappier dialogue, but the one consistent is the SHOW. Challenges are always big, tough, and grueling. Yeah, sometimes they’re revisited from past seasons, but that’s because they were goooood. This isn’t your run-of-the-mill reality show. This isn’t “Battle of the Network Stars” with Erik Estrada running an obstacle course against Lou Ferrigno. This is devastating. This is malnourishment. This is mental and emotional anarchy. This. Is. Survivor. There’s nothing like it, and nothing even comes close.
So………..when we encounter a season like #29, it’s not about “the show” being not as good. It’s about the players not being good. Yeah, Jeremy and Josh gave it a good run to make it a memorable season, but look at what that got them. A one-way ticket to Palookaville… The show even tried to ingest a little drama and add John Rocker and the Twinnies, but we all saw how that worked out. Nadiya is voted out first and Rocker followed her soon after. Even John’s significant other, Julie, turned out to be a casting disappointment. Yeah, she was eye candy, but her dedication to the game was, shall we say, questionable.
And now we’re stuck with a bunch of incompetents who are still trying to figure out how to play. They created this mess, and we’re the victims in this “anti-Speed bus ride.
“If you drive OVER 50mph, the bus will blow up…!” screams Alec at Baylor…
It’s quite frustrating, as both a recapper, and a fan. I can see how disappointed many of you are just by going on Twitter, or reading some of the other blog sites, or even the legit columns. But before we all despair the franchise has jumped the shark, just remember one thing, in a few short months (February 25th, to be exact) we CAN look forward to what will certainly be an epic season. Season 30.
And if the rumors are true and it ends up being Survivor: Legends, I can only guess who might be in the cast. In fact, I think I’ll make some predictions at the end of tonight’s column. I think if I wait till next week’s column, after the season finale, some of the cast may have already been spoiled in a revealing montage. So let me put my thinking cap on while I’m writing tonight’s column, and I’ll throw you my list of the 30 biggest “Legends,” whether they’ll be on the season or not. But for now, to the episode…!
The recap recalls how Natalie was blindsided by Jon when he took out her closest ally, Jeremy, so turnabout is fair play as she pulls a fast one and takes out Alec, instead of Keith. Something about that “big” move doesn’t seem as big as taking out Jeremy, but you go, girl. I think Natalie’s just happy she’s down to the lowest weight she’s been in 10 years, but I could be wrong about that…
I presume her biggest justification for taking out Alec has to be either:
-Keith is better at challenges so he could theoretically take out Jon
-She just wants to be petulant and not do as she’s expected
Um, both are kind of stupid, but hey, at least she owns it. Let’s see what other trouble she can get into tonight, since I’m now thinking she’s targeting herself more than ever.
Everyone returns to Huyopa after Tribal (Night 32) and the super important job of figuring out what went wrong is the only thing that matters. Natalie is playing the “Golly, I’m just so confused, who was I supposed to vote for?” card, and the idiots are buying it. I wouldn’t normally call them idiots (or would I…?) but when Jaclyn suggests that Alec voted FOR HIMSELF, I can now understand why no one’s been targeting her. She is an idiot. Has she never watched the show? Did no one explain to her that you CANNOT vote for yourself at Tribal? Does she understand the words coming out of my mouth…? So that’s why no one gives a crap about voting her out, she’s too dumb to win. Okay, that solves that…
Generally agree with the list, especially the inclusion of some of the recent players like Spencer, Ciera, Hayden that showed promise but didn’t pan out.
I’d make a few changes though:
seen too much of: Boston Rob, Ozzy, Rupert, Coach, Hatch
Idiot and doesn’t deserve to play: Woo
Had to look up to remember them: Elrod, Piombo
I’d replace them with (this is weighted to the ladies to make it 50/50): Andrea and Cochrane from fans/fav2
Natalie(current season)
Facts of life Lisa
Tasha Cagayan
Chelsie OW
Sophie (winner)
Francesca (can she go first out 3 times??)
Honestly, you could probably put 60 names on this list and still have a season full of players.
drewdaddy – Thanks for your comment! Like I said, I think there are some players who simply can’t do it anymore (I think Boston Rob will fall into that category with all his family responsibilities, AND he has nothing to prove anymore) but if I left him off the list, someone would say, “How could you leave Rob off the list!?” You know what I mean…? I’d like to see Ozzy back because it’s been 3 years since he’s been on, and he does have something to prove. I think Coach is a shoo-in for Seas. 30, let’s see if I’m right. Hatch and Rupert I could take or leave. And again, agreeing with you, there are dozens and dozens of people who could be considered a legend.
I thought Woo, just so he could have some redemption and clear his name. Elrod was the first dominant Redemption Island stud, so he’s gotta come back. And Marty was running that season until the tribe swap burned him. One reason why I think tribe swaps are kinda shitty. I considered Andrea, and would LOVE to see her gorgeous face again. I hate Cochran, just don’t need to see that guy ever again. I like Natalie (she’s been killing it), Lisa Whelchel I don’t think of a legend, but agree with all your others, except Francesca. Two times out first just sets her up for a third, which is really unfair. Just let her fade away. I’d really like to see a season with super strong, smart, able players, no rednecks, no kooks, no wimps. Just a real “All-star” season with strong/sexy players. Call me biased towards the beautiful people… We’ll find out next week, hopefully! Happy holidays!