Probst leads them into their first Immunity challenge as a merged tribe of Madeline backwards. And, I have to say that I’m super happy to see that it’s not a dual immunity necklace challenge. I hated that the past few seasons saw both a male and female winner at the first one-tribe immunity challenge. I think one season even saw a second challenge with dual sex winners. I’m not remembering because I stopped caring about remembering things about these shows that had no bearing on my life.
The contestants have to run through some beetle larvae, then some shipworms, and finally some duck embryo. I’ve had duck before and it wasn’t half bad, but this is pretty creepy sh*t you’re asking me to eat. Of course, in a game for $1 million, I’d swim out into the middle of the pond outside my nearby Wal-mart, sneak up on some live duck, and start munching on them in front of all the class A hillbillies in the parking lot. Hell, I’m guessing 3 or 4 of them may come join me. For free.
Cochran and Malcolm are the final two, and for their effort so far, they only need to devour some pig brain in order to be crowned the champion of this challenge. In one of the closest finishes in Survivor history (I’m making that up), Cochran edges out Malcolm. But, in all honesty, who was the judge in these rounds? Probst was a good 20 feet away from some of these people, who would just stop chewing, lift their arms, and open their mouths – who’s to say they didn’t just store some of the pieces under their tongue, or in the back corner of their mouth? I think they should have had to eaten something bigger. Something that would have taken a little longer than 6 seconds to finish. I mean, who is stopping the Ginger Kobayashi in a contest where he can just open his gills and swallow the pig brain whole. Didn’t you see how he threw those shipworms into his mouth? Everyone else was stuffing piece by piece into their mouths, GK just threw the worms right down his throat, 2.2 seconds flat. He was built to win this challenge, so I would have liked to have seen them have to eat 3 pounds of pig brain. Or, a carton of duck embryo from Aldi. If you have an Aldi in your neighborhood, you know they have duck embryo in there. I would have said Moo & Oink, but I think those are only local in my area, and also mostly extinct.
Back at the camp, Phillip speaks at (he no longer speaks to people, I’m deeming him an at-talker) Corinne, telling her they should split the vote on Eddie and Reynold. Phillip is stupid for two reasons. One, he’s gone on record saying he doesn’t trust Corinne, yet he’s always talking to her about strategy, and trusting that she’s just going to continue to blindly follow his lead. Two, if one of those morons were going to use the idol, they would’ve used it by now, Phillip. Yes, we know that Reynold actually does have the idol, but there would be no way he’d play it at this tribal council. Stop worrying about flushing out the damn idol. Although, in a perfect world, Phillip’s plan is the best plan for his game. He does need Reynold and Eddie gone if he stands a chance at making the final three. So, I get it, but come on now, Phillip, stop talking to Corinne and stop talking about splitting the vote. This split vote thing is coming to be as annoying as the backdoor vote is in Big Brother.
And, I’m going to say that I’m a little disappointed in Cochran. He should 100% know that Corinne and Malcolm are elsewhere in an alliance. Corinne has already been clear in her motives about how she’s keeping Michael safe, and been very vocal on how badly she wants Phillip out of the game, whereas Malcolm just spent a few days living it up with his bros from other ho’s, Eddie and Reynold, so you have to assume those three are bonded together, or at the very least that Malcolm is connected with someone else from that tribe and not just strictly with the favorites. Don’t put our beloved Harvard to shame, Cochran. Just don’t. I won’t let you. Figure this out already. I know it’s not as obvious as Julia being an empty carton of Vanilla Bean, but it’s pretty damn obvious.
But, alas, Corinne is going to do the job for Cochran. Corinne decides to tell Dawn all about her evil plan to get Phillip out of the game. She, STUPIDLY, tells Dawn everything about how she’s got Michael, Malcolm has Eddie and Reynold, and Erik – and if she came on board, that would give them 7 votes, making them the majority vote at any of the following tribal councils. And, going back to Dawn’s cry fit from earlier, she realizes that she can’t make the same mistake she did last time. The last time she played, she knew what Cochran was about to do and kept quiet about it (again, I’m making this up because I have no idea what happened on that season anymore), but this time she’s not going to just sit idly by as her chance at winning the million rolls past her. She runs to Cochran and tells him everything she was just told. Then, Cochran runs to the smartest person in their alliance, Andrea, to discuss what just happened.
I was thinking the EXACT thing about Malcolm and Corinne’s strategy. They should have “gone along” with Philip.. It boggles my mind why they wouldn’t have realized that. I thought they were smarter than what they showed yesterday.
Well, let’s not go over the top here, everglades! We shouldn’t give these folks the benefit of the doubt when it comes to the intelligence department. I think the time to stop being surprised by the stupidity these people continue to show has come upon us… 🙂
I have to agree. I always have high hopes for my favorites and I’m always disappointed. haha
A few observations on another hilarious commentary.
As much as I love Malcolm, I actually cheered for Cochran when he finally won a challenge. The comment that Malcolm made about crossing that particular achievement off Cochran’s “bucket list” was priceless.
If I never see another image of Dawn’s ugly-ass simpering face, it will be too soon. Just as God made pretty people and ugly people, He also blessed some people with the ability to cry in an attractive way, while others look like a damn teary train wreck. (Dawn, take note. If you must cry around the cameras, put the buff over your head. Better yet, your face.)
I SOOOOOOOOO want Malcolm to win this thing, so I hated that his “big move” was exposed by Dawn. More than anything, however, I can’t stand the notion of that jackass Phillip walking around thinking he’s “right” or “in charge” of ANYTHING in that game. I’d rather see a million-dollar check made out to Russell or Brandon Hantz.
What I WOULD love to see? During the live reunion show, the producers present a check to Phillip for $100K, but instead of Sheppard’s name on the check, it’s made out to a psychotherapist specializing in narcissistic personality disorder.
Dawn is beginning to seem to me to be the “kiss of death” in this game for people who decide to strategize for her. Also, just because a move you made was the downfall in your last game, it doesn’t mean that it will be this time. Two different games, two different groups of players, etc. etc. Also, like you said Scott, she’s not going to win anyways so technically it’s all her downfall.
I seriously CANNOT stand Philip. I’m considering crowning him the Rachel of Survivor. He’s the player who will cause you to miss enough weeks of the show for him to get voted out, then you pick up watching again. He’s that annoying.
Also, Scott, you mentioned in your last episode recap (I think) that none of these players have seen Malcom’s season. I’m assuming you meant because it would have been airing while they were filming. SO, if they haven’t seen his season, but he’s earned “favorite” status, why do you think the players aren’t questioning him more about his season and how successful he was? I mean, he’s a favorite for a reason, I know I’d be wondering what his story was if it were me.
Hey heathyygirl, Phillip could NEVER compare to how annoying Rachel was! You take that back right now! 🙂 Yes, he’s annoying, but just based off of Rachel’s “fake” laugh alone, she’s the most annoying person in the history of people God created.
And, it’s 100% true that none of the contestants have seen Malcolm’s season. It was airing while they were filming. Chances are, though, that some of these folks don’t know how successful other “favorites” have been, either, because they may not have watched the season or whatever else the reason may be. So, I’d assume the first few days were spent with questions being asked, like, “How did you do in your season?” or “What didn’t the cameras show that got you ousted?” That kind of stuff. CBS just chose to leave that out for whatever reason. It probably didn’t have any effect on the outcome of the first few weeks, so they just left it be. It’s like with Russell when he did his second stint on the show. Nobody knew how “evil” he was, but he was on the “evil” tribe. I’m sure they asked him why, CBS just chooses not to show us.