SURVIVOR: FANS VS FAVORITES -4/3/13

April 5th, 2013 | 6 Comments | Posted in Survivor - Fans vs Favorites

Let’s shoot on over to the Gota tribe (I know that now because CBS was nice enough to plaster it in the corner of my television), where a boat is pulling up to the beach to hand them a note. At first, I was thinking, “What, they couldn’t just send it in tree mail?” And, then I realized that it was for the merge, and they’d need the boat to take them on over to their new beach to go live out the remainder of the game with the Bikal tribe. Personally, I think this merge is way too early. But, production knew the odds of Bikal ever winning an immunity challenge were next-to-none, so they might as well roll the dice with a 12-person tribe fight to the end. Not the best decision Survivor has ever made, but not the worst, either.

Why the hell do they keep waving to the Bikal tribe from the boat? Seriously, you could wave once, and let it be. Reynold looked like a pageant queen, trying to sway the celebrity judge into believing she didn’t just puke three times backstage to fit into that size 0 swimsuit – and also that her boobs were real. Quit the waving – say hi when your boat washes ashore. That will suffice.

Anyone else care that they named their tribe Enil Edam, and that they tried to pass it off as actually meaning something in a different language? Seriously, does anybody care about tribe names after 53 seasons of this show? Just do away with them. Or, have someone come up with something catchy, and funny. This is always one of the stupidest scenes in every season. I say one of, because the most stupid scene is when they walk around the island and “remember” their voted-out competitors, and then torching the camp. I’m pretty sure they could’ve left the camp up, and auctioned it off to the poorest person in the country as a new home. It would be like how us Americans shell out globs of money to go on stupid bus tours of Hollywood Celebs homes. You’re telling me they can’t just leave the place be for the great people of the Philippines? 

Right after the merge happens, we get to see why Andrea won’t win the game. Seriously, the first vote doesn’t matter after the merge? Haven’t you played this game before? The first vote pretty much sets the tone about how the rest of the game is going to go. People get swayed, alliances shift, power changes hand, but you go ahead and keep thinking this vote doesn’t matter. Let’s all make note that when one of us (I’m convinced one of my readers will one day be on this show and then spill ALL the beans to me) is on season 38 of Survivor, and Andrea is on our tribe, we make sure to keep her around for eye candy, but never let her call any of the shots, ok?

Malcolm and Corinne are over on the other side of the beach, showing Andrea why the first vote matters. They’re plotting out how they have the votes for the remainder of the game, as long as they can sway the voters to get out Sherri this time around, leaving Phillip’s alliance one person short for the next round of voting, therefore leading to Phillip’s demise. And, this is where we all should know that Sherri ain’t going nowhere. Too obvious this early on in the episode. Something else is going to happen. You can’t talk about voting out some chick because “she’s weird” and end up actually making it happen. This show has become more and more like Law & Order – you need to prove your case. And, “she’s weird” is purely circumstantial in the court of Survivor. You’re going to need something stronger – like “We have 3 eyewitnesses who put Sherri at the scene of the chronic shoe-pisser.” Yes, Sherri needs to be the person who is going around peeing in people’s shoes in order to get voted out at this point in time. Just saying she’s weird isn’t enough. Sorry, Malcolm.

Oh, and Reynold, you have way more than one weakness. I’d go into all of them, but we’ll call out the obvious ones, first. Secret keeping. A BIG weakness of yours. Politically Correctness. Another big weakness of yours. However, winning the game of Survivor has not yet been proven to be a weakness of yours. Somehow, someway, you’re still in the running for this title. Go figure.

And, oddly enough, I’m going to agree with Cochran that the fact that he may eat some whale penis or walrus testes on national television might actually help his love life. The reason for that is because he probably has no love life and any step up in that department would be an improvement. If you ever thought there weren’t folks out there into the same thing you’re into – just google it. There are some weird f*cks out there, these days. Even more weird than Sherri.

6 thoughts on “SURVIVOR: FANS VS FAVORITES -4/3/13

  1. I was thinking the EXACT thing about Malcolm and Corinne’s strategy. They should have “gone along” with Philip.. It boggles my mind why they wouldn’t have realized that. I thought they were smarter than what they showed yesterday.

  2. Well, let’s not go over the top here, everglades! We shouldn’t give these folks the benefit of the doubt when it comes to the intelligence department. I think the time to stop being surprised by the stupidity these people continue to show has come upon us… 🙂

  3. I have to agree. I always have high hopes for my favorites and I’m always disappointed. haha

  4. A few observations on another hilarious commentary.

    As much as I love Malcolm, I actually cheered for Cochran when he finally won a challenge. The comment that Malcolm made about crossing that particular achievement off Cochran’s “bucket list” was priceless.

    If I never see another image of Dawn’s ugly-ass simpering face, it will be too soon. Just as God made pretty people and ugly people, He also blessed some people with the ability to cry in an attractive way, while others look like a damn teary train wreck. (Dawn, take note. If you must cry around the cameras, put the buff over your head. Better yet, your face.)

    I SOOOOOOOOO want Malcolm to win this thing, so I hated that his “big move” was exposed by Dawn. More than anything, however, I can’t stand the notion of that jackass Phillip walking around thinking he’s “right” or “in charge” of ANYTHING in that game. I’d rather see a million-dollar check made out to Russell or Brandon Hantz.

    What I WOULD love to see? During the live reunion show, the producers present a check to Phillip for $100K, but instead of Sheppard’s name on the check, it’s made out to a psychotherapist specializing in narcissistic personality disorder.

  5. Dawn is beginning to seem to me to be the “kiss of death” in this game for people who decide to strategize for her. Also, just because a move you made was the downfall in your last game, it doesn’t mean that it will be this time. Two different games, two different groups of players, etc. etc. Also, like you said Scott, she’s not going to win anyways so technically it’s all her downfall.

    I seriously CANNOT stand Philip. I’m considering crowning him the Rachel of Survivor. He’s the player who will cause you to miss enough weeks of the show for him to get voted out, then you pick up watching again. He’s that annoying.

    Also, Scott, you mentioned in your last episode recap (I think) that none of these players have seen Malcom’s season. I’m assuming you meant because it would have been airing while they were filming. SO, if they haven’t seen his season, but he’s earned “favorite” status, why do you think the players aren’t questioning him more about his season and how successful he was? I mean, he’s a favorite for a reason, I know I’d be wondering what his story was if it were me.

  6. Hey heathyygirl, Phillip could NEVER compare to how annoying Rachel was! You take that back right now! 🙂 Yes, he’s annoying, but just based off of Rachel’s “fake” laugh alone, she’s the most annoying person in the history of people God created.

    And, it’s 100% true that none of the contestants have seen Malcolm’s season. It was airing while they were filming. Chances are, though, that some of these folks don’t know how successful other “favorites” have been, either, because they may not have watched the season or whatever else the reason may be. So, I’d assume the first few days were spent with questions being asked, like, “How did you do in your season?” or “What didn’t the cameras show that got you ousted?” That kind of stuff. CBS just chose to leave that out for whatever reason. It probably didn’t have any effect on the outcome of the first few weeks, so they just left it be. It’s like with Russell when he did his second stint on the show. Nobody knew how “evil” he was, but he was on the “evil” tribe. I’m sure they asked him why, CBS just chooses not to show us.

Leave a Reply