SURVIVOR: PHILIPPINES – 11/21/12

 
Over at the reward challenge, my first question is how the hell did old @ss Mike Skupin beat Malcolm so easily?  Also, why didn’t people use the strategy to chase after the person they were competing against, and going right to the station that they were just at.  It seems as if that would be the easiest way to win this challenge.  All you’d have to do then is beat them to the third station before they made it to their third station and you’d be good to go.  And, chances are, you’d win because most of the competitors ended up turning their piece before they turned their opponents piece, well, because they’re stupid and don’t understand strategy.  But, if you want to truly understand what it means to NOT understand, look to Abi as your mentor.  She’s just completely lost, and doesn’t even know what color her team is, and just goes and turns whatever piece over she feels like.  Hell, even Jeff has had enough of this b*tch, saying, “Abi, are you clear on what’s happening out here?”  Sh*t, Jeff, do you THINK she’s clear on what’s going on?  She hasn’t played in any of the other challenges, so why would she ever pay attention to rules when she’s used to just sitting on the sidelines and picking out what clouds look like a celebrity’s d*ck.  
 
Not to just rip on Abi, but Skupin actually embodies her when he decides to flip the wrong piece, losing it for his team, and sending the other team on a fantasic spa day trip!  Woo-hoo!!  But, in Skupin’s defense, he was just getting caught up in the competition, and he thought that his opponent already had flipped their piece, so he was just trying to get ahead.  Abi was just completely lost like Nemo in the dentist office.
 
Also, I’m not so sure how great the reward was, but I’m guessing after 27 days of nothingness, I’d be ok with someone bathing me and cutting my nails, as well.  I’m just not so sure that’s what their idea of a “spa day” really was.  You hear “spa,” you don’t think some ranky bath tub on the beach, with the water already inside it before you climb in.  That water was probably cold (luke warm at best) by the time they got in.  And, unless your first name is Kim, and your last name is Kardashian, I don’t really want you bathing me as I sit in said ranky tub.  Also, when I hear the term “manicure,” I’m thinking something a little more professional than nail clippers.  I can bite them b*tches off, if I really need to.  But, hey, thanks for the one piece of shrimp on the skewer.  Delicious.
 
When they return from their reward, Abi can’t stop talking about her time at the spa.  She just continues on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on, and cutting off Carter, and on and on and on all about how she felt like a prince, no a queen, no Cinderella, no a Princess, and how magical of a time it was, pissing off everyone back at camp.  Whereas I get how everyone is upset about her just talking and talking, I still don’t get why someone didn’t just tell her to shut up.  Or, just try and push the conversation elsewhere.  Or, just walk away.  Pretend you have to go pee, do something, just get away from her.  See, I’m the type of person that doesn’t allow myself to get into situations I don’t want to be in. I will say that ever since I got married, those situations have arose a hell of a lot  more often, but when I’m on my own, I never ever allow myself to be somewhere I don’t want to be.  So, I don’t blame Abi for this moment as much as I do the people who sat by and then b*tched about it later on.  Your fault for not leaving, not hers for talking about something you asked her about.
 
I’m also going to proclaim myself “out of the kitchen” at this point.  Screw the rest of you.  You can cook my food from here on out.  Oh no, I know I have the idol and I have another five or six days here, Penner, I still plan on eating that crappy food you’re going to cook, I’m just not going to cook it for you scumbags.  I hate all of you and how you talk crap about me when I’m doing the exact same thing to you.  It’s not fair.  I should be allowed to do whatever I want to do while I’m here.  Don’t you remember?  I’m Cinderella.  I can do as I please.
 
Moving from the whole Abi drama, we can actually get back to the actual game of Survivor, and the people who are playing the game to win.  Malcolm wants to shore up a Final 4 before the vote, and before they get to their Final 6, so that he knows where his game is heading, and so he can relax a little, just vote a few people out, and then start playing the game again.  He talks to Skupin, and tells him that he wants a Final 4 pact to exist between himself, Mike, Denise, and Lisa.  But, Skupin is skeptical.  He knows that Malcolm is a gamer, and that he’s always going to be scheming ways to get ahead.  He, also, believes that Malcolm is a big threat, so it might not be the smartest to go to the end with him, because it may not be easy to win.  So, he talks with Lisa about what they should do, and Lisa tells him that she’d rather work with Penner and Carter.  You know, because she wants Penner’s nutsack and all.