Super busy night tonight as I begin to write this recap with the final presidential debate on TV, the Dodgers-Cubs game, and of course, Survivor. Something will have to be DVR’d and I can’t decide which one. As an interested citizen of the presidential campaign, that should really be watched. As a Dodger fan, I really wanna see that too. But as a Survivor Überfan, that’s Must See TV and nothing’s getting in the way of watching another piece of the Season 33 puzzle drop.

And as previously mentioned, with Lucy going home last week, I don’t have any more Asian fetishes to lust over, so I guess I’m stuck lusting over Michelle and Figgy, despite my disinterest in either of them. And since neither seems likely to be displaying any of their “naughty bits,” that leaves me having homo-erotic thoughts of Ken, Taylor and Moobs…

Or maybe I should go sneak a peek at my wife in the tub…

Alas, she’s more interested in the Dodger game than Survivor, so I guess I’ll stick … Continue reading →

Welcome back, my friends, to another edition of Naked and Afraid, starring Michaela Bradshaw as Naked, and David Wright as Afraid. We find out this week if Lucy will ever speak, if Adam’s voice will be used to scare away rodents and insects, and whether Bret’s moobs or Figgy’s mole will be sliced off to provide nourishment as the tribes near starvation.

Seriously, the fact there’s a Season 33 plot line that involves “ta-tas” seems a little gross, considering how religious these zealots are. Not sure how you feel about religion being shoved down your throat, but would any of you get a mush-on if you heard there was going to be “nudity in church” this week?

“On Wednesday, Rev. Probst is presenting a sermon on the hottest prostitutes in the bible. He has some vivid stories and tells a colorful tale about Oholah and Oholibah, the chicks who put the “ho” in whore…”

Okay, maybe that’s a sermon I would like to hear, considering I’m a pagan and found the stories about prostitutes in … Continue reading →

Wednesday night, and it’s time for another episode of, “As the Coconut Turns.” In this week’s show, some of the Millennials are bummed about Mari’s departure last week (not as much as her, though), and a twist might shake things up…

But first, I wanted to mention that at the end of tonight’s column, I’ve updated my Rankings of Every Survivor Player and have posted the top 200 players in Survivor history. Click to the last page to see where your favorites stand after 32 seasons of Survivor.

Considering the love that blossomed last week, and the differences between generational plotlines, I feel like I’m watching a bad soap opera. TBH, they’re all “bad” soap operas, but this one seems worse because the actors don’t know how to act. Seriously, everyone seems like a caricature of themselves (except Zeke, of course, who’s playing the role of Glorious Zeke fabulously) but none of these clowns are winning a daytime Emmy. Susan Lucci, you’re a shoo-in this year…

That’s right, tonight’s episode reminds me of soap operas … Continue reading →