The 5 remaining players grab their torches and head out as Jay offers us a great final interview. Once again, be happy for the opportunity, not bitter you got beat. It’s just a game…
Day 37 is upon us and it’s the next Immunity Challenge. Looks like a pretty intense challenge with water, balancing and a puzzle aspect to it. Jeff tells the players what it’ll entail which is: pushing a buoy along a rope through a series of obstacles, then using 2 handles to carry puzzle pieces over a teeter-totter, when all pieces are at the puzzle station, players must unscramble the letters to solve a word puzzle. It would seem that no one has a clear advantage in this one, as everyone could do well in one or two aspects of it. Let’s get right to it!
David takes the early lead but is passed by Ken. The swimming seems to be David’s weakness while Hannah’s may be that she’s not able to wear her glasses until the end. As David struggles in the water, he also has to deal with Probst talking so much s**t about his performance. Nevertheless, David carries on, still ahead of Hannah, whose face is still somehow dirty…
Ken reaches the puzzle pieces first and tries to carry almost all of them at once. Naturally, this was not a good idea and he drops them going over the teeter-totter. Meanwhile, Bret takes a small load over, and succeeds in depositing them at the puzzle table. Ken then tries a smaller batch, and even that proves difficult for Mr. Plastic.
By now, everyone is transferring pieces and making some progress. Bret’s method seems to have paid off and he begins to solve the puzzle first. Soon, Ken, Adam and David are all solving too. Hannah finally gets all her pieces across as Jeff keeps everyone in the dark about who’s doing well…or poorly. With numerous words that can be spelled using all these letters, we could be here a while. But surprisingly, Ken shifts a few pieces around and raises his arms,
“Jeff, Jeff!”
JP comes over and checks the table and sure enough, Ken is right and going to the final four! And as the necklace is placed around Ken’s neck, Bret gives us another awesome confessional where he complains about having to work with crazy people.
“Any time you get crazies involved,” (with a vote) “anything can happen.”
And I’m wondering why this footage wasn’t used in the episode that aired after the election…
Back to camp they go and while Adam is bummed he didn’t win, he’s even more glad David didn’t either, because he needs to go home for Adam to have a chance. But he also wants some reassurances of his own, so he confirms with Bret the vote is David and takes off to look for a Hidden Idol, Bret will cover for him.
While searching, he tells us that if he doesn’t find it, that must mean David already has it, which would spell doom for Adam’s game. At one point, the camera shows us that Adam is dangerously close to finding it, and simply unaware of how close he is.
Back at Vinaka, David, Hannah and Ken are sitting together and wondering where everyone is. With Bret nearby, Ken tells David that Adam has disappeared. So David pitches to Barfbie and Ken the idea of voting out Adam. Hannah wants to know how that makes any sense, considering they’ve always discussed taking out Bret first. David says the order doesn’t matter, since they both have to go. And if Adam is targeting David, then quod erat demonstrandum it needs to be Adam.
And then strangely, we see Adam walking straight to where the Hidden Idol is, almost as if someone from the show told him, “Hey, go look over there by that branch.” Now, I don’t wanna suggest something untoward is happening with the Survivor producers, but it just looks kinda fishy to me… What do you guys think?
We get another confessional where Adam cries about the situation at home, and I’m beginning to wonder if this season is actually scripted drama and none of what we’ve seen all season is actually reality TV. And I hate having these thoughts…
Then, David and Ken take Bret aside and ask if he’d be willing to vote Adam and he’s more than happy to vote for anyone other than himself. Hell, he’d vote Probst if he could, thinking he’s going home tonight.
Bret immediately heads over to Adam to let him know what David and Ken are plotting, but Adam – in a stupid move – shows Bret his idol and smugly says he ain’t going anywhere. He then kicks it up a notch and tells Hannah he found an idol, which is another dumb move. Why would he do this?
Afterwards, she reveals she’s playing both sides, and then goes off on the arrogance of “these boys” at how they think they’re running the game; but she coyly says she’s really running the vote tonight because,
“I want a lady to make the choice,” and I have no idea who she’s talking about…
The sun sets and the five make their way to Tribal. Everyone takes their seats and we’re off to the races.
-Hannah tells JP that idol huntin’ and strategery were in full force after the challenge
-Adam confirms he lied about his stomach problems
-David reveals that everyone is thinking about Final 3 and who they’d like to sit with
-Bret says he’s only thinking about getting to Final 3 at this point
-Hannah calls Bret a big fat liar and David a threat
-Which Bret confirms (not the part about being fat)
-David says he’s just going to trust his trustercluck
-and tells JP that he’ll just be happy he’s improved his confidence (really?)
-to which Adam says that’s why David is a threat, because of his “story” (AYFKM?, is that story any better than your own, Adam?) and goes on to build a wall of reasons why David should go home
-Bret says he’d be devastated to go home tonight
-Hannah is Nervous Nelly, again, and needs Oxygen from Medical to go vote.
Jeff sends them to the voting booth and afterwards collects the urn. He asks for Hidden Idols and Adam makes the last big move he can this season and whips out the idol the producers gave him…
David
Bret
David
Bret
Bret
Boom goes the… Oh sh*t, you can’t make bomb jokes about anything from Boston, remember? Let’s just say he’s not happy and makes his final indictment about the game,
“The flipper flips again,” and I’m surprised he didn’t smack Hannah upside the head… Bret goes to get his torch snuffed and has one final burn,
“David, congratulations…the rest of yous, you just lost a million dollars.”
And I really wanted Bret to go out a gentleman, but I get how pissed off he is. This clearly doesn’t make any sense for Hannah, because Bret is the only one who could compete with her goat status. Now, I can see if she did this to eliminate the other person who could be brought as the goat to FT, but since Bret wasn’t aligned with any of the remaining players, it really doesn’t make sense to eliminate him now. At least, she could have voted for one of the power players (David or Adam) which would have forced a fire-making challenge, but I can’t even with this broad. Just get off my friggin’ lawn!
Jeff makes a statement about each of the remaining players thinking they have a legitimate chance to win the game, but clearly from PigPen’s reaction, she knows he’s not talking to her. Once again, if you’re going to cast people to be on the show, cast players, not the last ones selected in the schoolyard pick…
Bret’s final words are a little bitter, but he’s just glad he was a pahrt of Survivor…
Hey Fish, Great recap. I agreed with about 99% of what you said. I’ll get to the other 1%. Yes, Ken was screwed (oh my!) I think he truly deserved the win. Why do you think he got such HATE from the jury? I mean, they really acted like they hated Ken. Especially Chris and Bret. Jealous bc he’s better looking than them? Did Bret secretly wish he’d come out to Ken instead of the King Dork, buck toothed doofus Zack? I went this season from liking both Bret and Chris to hating both of them by the end. But back to Adam, yes, once again a sob story wins. What’s even more annoying is that the jury was sitting there patting themselves on the back for this great decision, thinking they had such great reasons, when all it was came down to I think simple jealousy. I think Ken’s looks actually hurt him in the end. BTW, he’s only 33. He’s a total hottie but jeez, I’m 46 and I look younger than him. I couldn’t believe he’s only 33. Anyway, the one think I differ with you on is Bret. Best moment of the season, getting a buzz and telling creepy Zack you like boys too. Does this really deserve congratulations and several precious moments of reunion time? I believe my 12 year old son Jack summed it up best as we watched when he said, “so if I’d said to someone that I like girls, that would have been the best moment of the season?!” Yep! But we can agree to disagree on that. As for Chris, yeah what a dick. He just had to say “since I’m a trial lawyer.” I’m an attorney myself and met my husband in law school. Chris was the kind of guy we hated in law school. And Jessica is an attorney too but yet that seems to have been forgotten. Again, why did Chris hate Ken so much? A few other things. Taylor looked fat. Michela had on the ugliest shade of lipstick and was way too pleased with herself. They will make mince meat out of her on the next season. Figs looked worse at the reunion than she did on the island and I think her mole was bigger. Jeff Probst looked like he’s had some major botox done and it was not a good luck. Did you notice that? And F the stupid transformation talk. How stupid! How did David transform himself? I bet he still hates bugs, still startles easily and still can’t swim. All he did was not die out there or quit. Who the F cares! As for the new season, I am so excited to see Tony back and Caleb. I agree about that stupid Ciera. Both my son and I yelled NOOOO when we saw her. Who likes her!? Glad to see Aubry, Malcom, Ozzy (who I find a bit annoying) and even Tai back. Sandra is also annoying but she is funny. Please let Ciera be voted out first. Good luck with all Fish. You are a great writer, and I hope to see you on Survivor some day!!!
Fish first off thanks for making my Thursday (sometimes Friday ) afternoons a little more bearable by writing this column . Survivor should be decided on gameplay and gameplay only . Of course I have compassion for Adam . However he won a game he didn’t deserve to win . Yes he found some idols . Yes he won some immunities . Yes he made some good moves . He also made some horrible ones . He isn’t the worst player to ever win but he is closer to the bottom than the top . Ok this is where the hate mail starts . I am sure I am in the minority here but here goes . Hannah sold me on her play . Survivor isn’t only about brute strength its about manipulation . Hannah swayed people to vote who she wanted out . She convinced people her way was the best way . She did id all while hiding in the shadow of David and Ken . She let David take all the heat while she made the moves . Hell she almost had David play an idol for her and did get Adam too play one for her ! She singlehandedly talked Ken into flipping on David . Why she didn’t make that more obvious at the final shocked me . She not only made it to the end but got there with the 2 people she wanted to go against ( she had no way of knowing about Adam s mom ) . Yes she is annoying and dirty but she really played the only game she could play . She wasn’t going to win any challenges . She wasn’t a magnetic personality . She played her strengths . She played the innocent non threatening card all the way to final 3 ! Thanks to all fellow commentators for your perspective and humor ( Fred and Barney was best line of season ) . Merry Christmas and the best of New Years to all . Next season should be an all time classic . Come on February !
Fish, thank you for the joy you bring in these recaps. I truly do look forward to them each week. I’m so sorry to hear about your troubles. I’m sending some positive vibes your way! 2016 was a really douchey year and I’m sincerely hoping 2017 gets better. But judging by how the electoral college let me down today (also no politics) and ZsaZsa Gabor is no longer with us, I’m losing hope fast. Ah well, on to Survivor!
So, I almost had a heart attack the first time I read “Barfbie.” I somehow missed the “f” in there. I couldn’t figure out what had happened to you 🙂 Ughhhhh, Hannah. Hubs and I turned her into a drinking game (anytime she touched her hair or her glasses or we caught a glimpse of her teeth we had to drink). Needless to say, we ended up having to rewatch much of the episode the following day as we were a tad fuzzy on all the details.
I think of the final 3, Adam was the correct winner. He made some stupid moves, but played hard the whole time. He was able to recover from his blunders. However, I think Ken deserves a little credit for his game. He won the immunity challenges when it mattered most and made the “big move” of voting David out. I cannot and will not defend Hannah. I’m sure she makes a mean latte, but she really irritated me on the show. I really can’t stand when the sob story wins the season. Sad? Yes. Made me want to root for him? Definitely. Deserving of a million dollars? Not necessarily. I’m with you all that winning should be based on your game, not your personal life. The hubs said if he ever plays he’s going to “Johnny FairPlay” everyone to tears at final tribal just to win.
Overall, I was okay with this season. I did appreciate the respect the players had for each other and the lack of a true villain. I think Michaela could have played that role, but thankfully they got rid of her before she could fully embrace it. I’m not excited to see her again next season. I AM excited for Ozzy and Malcolm…both former place holders in my “Freebie Five” in their respective seasons. Again, poor hubs. It could be a long season for him 🙂
Happy holidays to everyone! Stay safe and warm. See you all next year!
Thank you for another great recap Fish, these are always entertaining but this one was especially funny. Your perspective on Michaela and Ken are interesting… I think you’re spot on with Hannah though. I understand why you feel the way you do about Michaela but I found her to be pure entertainment.
I don’t think Ken deserved to win. Yes he was dominate in some challenges but that is it. No one was afraid to take him to a final because he wasn’t a threat. He skated through to the end because he wasn’t going to make any strategic moves or make any power plays. I still don’t consider the Dave vote a power play… It was a given for me. If he didn’t make that move I would consider him more of a goat than Hannah. At least Hannah tried and had an impact on the game. I could argue Ken made zero impact.
Hope to see you writing recaps again next season!
OK, deep breath, here goes. I’m glad I was wrong about Adam leaving, and I have to agree with Jen, he was the most deserving of the three. I actually thought he played a good game all along, going back to the Figgy vote. Bottom line is that he was always playing, sob story or not. Ken didn’t play until day 38. I’m wrong, he did play before that, but he played badly. Four challenge wins is impressive, but without game acumen he is just another Fabio, and who the hell wants to see that? I see both sides of the Hannah argument, but I have to go back to the fact that everyone wanted to take Ken and Hannah to the end, which tells me that they all knew these two were not playing good games, and they wouldn’t have voted for them. That speaks volumes to me. And I still stand on the Fish side of Hannah, in that she was a ditz and a skitz and was more reactionary than anything. I understand why people saved her butt the times that they did, for their own games, but jeez! I felt like it inflated her head and she came into FTC thinking she had a convincing argument to win the game, when to me she was just annoying. It was kind of funny, expected bitter jurors but got bitter finalists instead! When all is said and done, I would have love to see Jay win more than anyone. That fake idol was classic, but his reaction was even better, probably the best exit I can remember. Lol, “Go ahead Jeffrey, snuff my torch” ranks right up there with “Dude, it’s a f—ing stick”. He proved what a cool dude he was and shed his earlier wanker by association status from Figtails. All in all, this was a great season, I think one of the best. Not overly thrilled about a lot of the choices for next one, I mean Cirie, Sandra and Ozzy again, seriously?? Enough already with them. Although I can’t complain about the Malcolm eye candy again, meow.
Fish, I hope all works out well for you, I really do. And happy holidays to everyone on here, you were all very cool and welcoming to me, and it’s such a pleasure to read intelligent comments on this awesome show. Til next time, everyone have a great one!
Jay was on my hated list early but he ended up being one of my all time favorite players ! Fish imagine the beautiful babies him and Coconuts would make . I have a feeling Jay will be back , I appreciate not getting too much hate for my Hannah defense ( though Fish may still let me have it ) .
Kate: Thanks, doll. Love ya! I’m starting to wonder if Ken was given a better edit than he deserved. For example, what if Ken was really a snobby model who condescended to everyone…but we never saw any of that! We did hear Will say a few negative things a couple episodes ago, but what if Ken really wasn’t very liked, and the jury vote showed it…? All I know is we see maybe 2% of everything that’s shot, so it stands to reason there’s a ton of footage that would help us understand why things went down like they did. And yup, we’re gonna disagree on Bret. I don’t care so much that he “came out” to Zeke, I just think it showed the difference between the two generations in a really deep/emotional/social kinda way. People forget about don’t ask/don’t tell but it was a crazy time back when we we’re young adults. I’m 49 so you and I know the same reality of that. Chris confirmed why lawyers are so slimy. And BTW, I recently worked for a long stint at a courthouse in downtown LA and whenever I went in to use the public restroom with jurors, the public, and many attorneys, the lawyers were the ones who most frequently didn’t wash their hands after peeing. Think about that next time you wanna sue someone… Re: Jessica, I’m always wondering how she took so much time off from her job. If she’s really an ADA, then how did she take off 6 weeks to shoot, how did she spend so much time on social media, and how did she take even more time off for the finale/reunion/las vegas trips? I know public sector employees accrue lots of vacation days, but isn’t that a lot? I dunno… More: everyone looks fat, Michaela needs styling tips for life, Figgy looked majestic, and I do agree with the Jeff botox comment. I know one reason he’s stayed youthful all these years…no kids! Re: S34, I have many thoughts on that. I may write a pre-recap of the season and post it sometime in February. RealitySteve said he’d approve. And thanks for always being such an avid reader of mine. I think of you — and my favorite bartender, Jack — when I write sometimes, wondering what you’ll think. Happy holidays, kinb! XO
Rick: No, thank YOU for reading it and being my best commenter. I wish I could get these to you on Thursdays, but there are some realities of watching it back that causes me to wait. But thanks for always being there! I agree about the gameplay, but I realize these are humans who have their own motivations when choosing a winner. I just wish they were more cutthroat when deciding who played the best game. Now, that doesn’t mean I think Russell Hantz should have won, because he never got the social aspect of the game, but I’m with you that it shouldn’t be decided by who’s got the best sob story. Hell, I’d love for someone to pull some great story out of their ass at FT and say, “My wife lost our baby in utero and this money will help us bring a child into this world,” and then collect everyone’s votes and gladly accept the check from Jeff. And then SMASH CUT to the winner telling Jeff he made the whole thing up and he’s taking the money and gonna go hit Vegas and get a bunch of coke and whores. I mean, that would be such great TV! Who’s got the ‘nads to pull that one off? Coincidentally, I’ve always thought about making an application video and pull off a flamboyantly gay contestant applying after losing a partner, and then do the big “I”m not gay, I just played one on TV” reveal after the FT vote just to see if I could “keep it up” all season. Ah well, let someone else steal that idea, I gotta go to work… And what the what are you talking about RE: Hannah? Are you a Stooges fan or something? Got a soft spot for dirty girls? What gives? She wore that goat status like it was a technicolor dream coat. And did you see all the Zeke/Hannah photos from their Las Vegas trip? Sittin’ in the tub together, eating the same food, him grabbing her boob? I think they think they’re being cool and saucy but it just makes me think she’s a fag hag (that’s what us Gen-Xers used to call it). Me no likey. But you, Rick, are good with me. Thanks for all your comments and I wish you the bestest 2017…
Jen: Really appreciate you continuing to write in. And I’m glad you’re digging my spaghetti… Hannah’s only purpose should be as a drinking game, she is a barista. Let’s hope she can parlay her 15 minutes of fame into a bartending gig at a gay nightclub somewhere in West Hollywood. I’m sure she has many fans there now. RE: the winner, I just don’t like accepting someone like Adam. The whole, “this is my life” comment on the reunion just made me hate that we had to see this play out on TV. Damn, I mean, have some class and keep your most private affairs quiet. It’s like capitalizing on your mom’s death to benefit financially. Isn’t anyone else seeing the shittiness in that? And hell, if the FT jury is always going to go with sob stories, than maybe they should cast people who don’t have such blatant sob stories. I’ve been saying it for years, the casting of reality TV is the most important and time after time, Survivor’s casting department gives us people they think we’re gonna like, but they just give us idiots… I do support your comment about no true villains this season. I wonder if someone was supposed to play that role but left early? Mari? Paul? you know how I feel about Michaela. And I’m super excited about S34. BTW, if you’re Freebie Five justifies checking out what Ozzy’s packing, feel free to navigate to: http://www.omgblog.com/2006/11/omg_hes_naked_ozzy_lusth.php/#axzz4TWAVCitJ Consider that your Christmas present… XO
MVD: Thank you for writing in and I’m happy you liked it. To be honest, when I start writing I have no idea where I’m going sometimes and stuff just spews out. I’m glad you’re liking my spew… Ok, that sounds weird… You know, I don’t know why I hated Michaela so much because I didn’t start the season that way. Yes, I felt she was totally unaware of how the game worked and not very savvy on television, but I didn’t hate her. I just hate when someone like her gets rewarded with so much Production support like she was some mastermind. As she said herself, she was just doing the sea shell thing so she could keep it straight in her head. Most of us could actually — do the math — in our head. And they make her out to be some super player. AND bring her back!? WTF did she do to “change the game” other than show her titties? Nothing… I see what you’re saying about Ken but I just think he picked it up at the end when it’s the most critical. I think he played it low key the whole game, because he is low key. He wore the crown of wallflower and they crucified him for it. As a former wallflower myself, I really appreciated his vocalizing how out of sorts he was, but he still played the game. Hannah, David, Zeke and Adam just struck me as characters they were told to play… Happy holidays and I hope to see you back next season!
Jersey: Love your input. I see everything you say and I don’t disagree with any of it. I know I’m going all in on Ken (that sounds uncomfortable) but I just like stronger players winning. Yeah, maybe we didn’t see much gameplay out of him, but I always thought you can win without having to scramble infinitely. True, I didn’t think he was gonna win any intelligence contests, but he smoked the others in that word unscrambling, so he proved something there. I just think he’s not a flashy player and people wanna see a flashy player win. I’m not one of those people. I just never wanna see goats at FT… Thanks for all your kind words and I look forward to hearing from you next season. Happy New Year!
Rick2: I do love me some Jay and I agree we’ll probably see him again. I was just thinking about how many players there have been and what it takes to stand out enough to be invited back. You really gotta make your mark and hope America likes you. That’s why I hate the Michaela call back. And yeah, there’s also the fact that some people CAN’T take that much time off from work/family/life, so anyone who does probably is looking to make any change thrown at them. I think Jay would be great on another season, but hopefully not with a dumb theme. As I tweeted today, I think they may be saving some players for an epic “Legends” season (Coach, Russell, and many others) and I hope they’ve hired a new casting director by then… And it’s not worth hating on you for liking Hannah, I’m sure you’ve had countless fantasies of bathing with her… 😉
Peace out, troops! Go spend some money on your families! And Long Live President Trump…!
(sarcasm, much?)
Why I actually love the 3 Stooges ! When I think GOAT I think Woo . I think Gervase Blood VS Water . Hannah actually made decisions ( not washing being the most obvious ) . I understand people thinking they can beat her but twice people played or almost played idols for her ! Partially because they thought they could beat her but partially because she gained their trust .