The next morning, the entire Takali tribe is celebrating Easter and having an Easter Egg Hunt to search for the newly hidden Immunity Idol. You gotta wonder how the show hides an idol at night while they assume everyone’s sleeping, but maybe, just maybe, someone is not sleeping and listening for feet thrashing about in the jungle. Who knows? Could be a good interview question for David someday. Or maybe the idols are hidden much farther away from camp than we realize. Whatev.
Everyone is openly poking around any bush, tree, rock pile, and log looking for an idol, but what they don’t know – and David does – is they only need to be looking for the tribe symbol, and not the Idol itself. David, CeCe and Sunday are bunched together foraging about unsuccessfully when the ladies finally get frustrated and head back to camp. David – miraculously – spies the symbol on a short piece of wood (go ahead, giggle) and proceeds to smash the log with a giant rock, looking every bit like Tom Hanks’ character in Cast Away.
David pulls the Idol out of the log, and proceeds to tell us that finding the Idols on Survivor is the single greatest accomplishment in his 42 years of life, and god*amn I’m feeling sorry for this guy…
Off to a Reward Challenge we go, but first, JP plays with everyone’s mind a little and provides a little discourse on how the game works…
“You can practice untying knots…”
“You can go to therapy…”
“But there are some elements you have no control over that can change your game like that…” (snapping his fingers)
“Drop your buffs”
And instantly, everyone on the Millennial tribe seems pleased and everyone on the Gen-X tribe seems pissed. I wonder if that’s a telling difference between these two generations? Millennials are fine re-inventing themselves and their situations, while Gen-Xers hate when their “systems” experience upheaval. Not sure if there’s an unwritten essay on this topic, but we’re here for Survivor, so I’ll just let the credits roll…
Jeff informs everyone this isn’t just a tribe swap, it’s a tribe “expansion” from two to three tribes. Everyone pretends they know what that means (they don’t, they just know some s**t is gonna go down). And just like on Season 31 when the new Angkor tribe was formed, one tribe is going to get totally screwed by what color buff they select, and I still don’t think it’s fair…
Jeff informs them that the new tribe will be called “WeBeScrewed” because they have to build a new camp from scratch, BUT they will have one extra player to offset that totally f**ked up twist. Most concerned is Taylor, who thinks he’s gonna lose the only woman in the world who’ll make out with him when he smells like a homeless person at a soup kitchen, but we’ll see how it all jiggers out…
After a blind pull of new buffs, the new tribe designations are:
Takali (purple):
TayTay (Millennial)
The Mole (Millennial)
Jessica “X-Ray Eyes” (Gen-X)
Adam “The Screamer” (Millennial)
Ken-doll (Gen-X)
Vanua (orange):
CeCe (Gen-X)
Ed Sheeran (Gen-X)
“Grandpa” Zeke (Millennial)
Bible Michelle (Millennial)
David Wrong (Gen-X)
Ikabula (green):
Michaela the A-cup (Millennial)
Sundae (Gen-X)
Moobs (Gen-X)
Betty Suarez (Millennial)
JayBone (Millennial)
Will “Nathan Morris” Wahl (Millennial)
The important things to point out are that…
-Michaela is pissed
-Figgy and Taylor get to bump uglies for a few more episodes
-Michelle looks like a groupie from the Poison shows I used to watch at the Troubadour
-Zeke is not happy he’s with said groupie because she’s not “Something to Believe in”
Over at the new Ikabula tribe, introductions are made and they quickly get to work building a new shelter. Bret is anxious to show these kids he can be an asset to the tribe – but seriously, being a bigger asset than Sunday should not be that hard – but when they get to the hard work, Jay notices the two Gen-Xers are not worth their weight (which is sizable) in coconuts. He’s just happy to “have the numbers” and is cool even if they lose a challenge because they’ll send one of the Gen-Xers packing.
At Takali (Day 13), there’s a more laid back vibe between Ken & Jessica and their new Millennial adoptees. The kids are given a tour of the camp and Ken confesses he thinks things aren’t as bad as they could be considering how grounded he and Jessica are. He believes they can make this new tribe work, even though they don’t have the numbers.
Meanwhile, Taylor wants to get on Figgy, but she quickly shoots down his “I’m in heat” advances… She whispers that we “probably shouldn’t do that,” which pisses the f**k out of him. Ah, it’s so cute when guys can’t use their boners… He claims to trust her judgement, but he also keeps his back to the camera for the remainder of this scene…
As Ken cooks dinner for the tribe, it’s almost looking like Figgy is suddenly thinking, “Damn, that dude’s hotter than this Taylor kid,” but TayTay’s incessant mouthing of “you’re so hot” to her is enough to keep her thinking about making a Survivor baby with him. Adam, on the other hand, is witnessing all this and beginning to wonder if he’s suddenly in the hot seat.
“GETTING SWAPPED ONTO A TRIBE WITH ONLY FIGGY AND TAYLOR…IT’S MY WORST NIGHTMARE.”
He really needs to keep his voice down, because he’s scaring all the fish away. But, his concerns are founded, which we hear when he confesses that she’s very controlling, lies constantly, and their “worthless partnership” may soon compromise his game.
He takes a walk with Ken and openly reveals the cracks in the original Vanua tribe, and how he had voted for Figgy originally, which alerts Ken to the fact that he may be able to swing Adam his way. They claim to wanna work together moving forward, which is exactly what Adam needs to hear, knowing he’ll never break the FigTails Alliance. He announces he’s the swing vote, and he just needs to decide which alliance he wants to play with.
The next morning (Day 14) the new Vanuans have just woken up and are discussing dreams. Michelle joins them a bit later and confesses she’s very concerned to be in the minority, and it doesn’t look like she can sway anyone with her good looks and personality.
As they start cooking breakfast, Michelle wants to go through proper introductions, since she missed that earlier. The interesting tidbit here is when Chris and Zeke find out they’re both Oklahoma boys, which instantly connects them in a way that should help Zeke.
Later, the two Okies are on a walk when Chris opens up that Zeke shouldn’t be too worried about his standing in the tribe because Chris is ready to make a move against the Gen-X players. This is exactly what Zeke wants to hear, because not only is he able to work with one of his boyhood heroes (that may be a stretch) but he might find himself back in a position where he can do some damage. Fingers crossed, grandpa!
Over at Ikabula, the tribe is trying to start fire but having no luck. Jay and Moobs are both failing miserably, so Michaela says she wants to give it a shot. She confesses she’s WORKED in her life, so that should prepare her for the difficult task of making fire…with flint. You go, girl…
She succeeds in getting a spark (a spahrk, as Moobs says) and is tickled pink when she actually gets a flame to stay. Jay quickly comes over to nurture the spark, and he’s able to start a proper fire. Michaela dives in next to him with the machete perilously close to his hands – which would’ve pissed me off – but he’s too damn hungry and thirsty to care about near-death experiences.
Michaela freaks out and over-reacts to starting to fire, and I’m just wondering if she’s secretly related to both David and Adam. The resemblance is uncanny, no? Maybe not on the outside, but their emotional reactions to simple accomplishments are almost too funny to not make fun of. I understand the game can turn relatively normal tasks on their heads considering the fatigue, dehydration, and emotional roller-coaster everyone’s on, but for f**k’s sake, YOU HAVE A GOD*AMN FLINT! You’re not Dale Wentworth pulling fire out of his ass using his bifocals! And even that wouldn’t warrant the tears.
But, these Millennials are an emotional bunch, and we’ll give Michaela her cry because she earned it, and I guess the show has to do everything they can to empower her this season, since she’s obviously going to the final episode. Oops, spoiler alert…!
It’s Day 15 and we’re soaring above the middle of the Pacific Ocean, which is only a few feet deep, revealing the Immunity Challenge. Makes me fantasize about how amazing it would be to visit any of the south Pacific islands. I’ve been to Thailand, but there’s something about the south Pacific: Fiji, Tahiti, Samoa, Cook Islands, etc., that makes me wanna pack up and move to an island. Too bad I don’t like coconut vodka…
But today’s challenge will involve players diving into the water and retrieving five buoys that are attached to ropes. Once retrieved, players will swim to a platform and deposit the buoy into a basket. Once all the buoys are retrieved, tribes can either “shoot” them into baskets, or use a ball/hook deal to pull the basket closer making it easier to shoot. First two tribes to finish win immunity, loser goes to Tribal (I think that’s how it works…).
Adam, CeCe and Sunday dive in first to retrieve the easiest buoy, which is only a few feet deep. Adam and CeCe succeed in releasing the buoy – which involves turning a metal pin sideways and pushing it through the buoy, but Sunday is too dumb/nervous/drowning to figure it out. She’s pulling on the buoy wondering why it’s not sliding off the rope, and finally gives up when she almost drowns. What a X’XXX move (if you remember who that is). She decides to swim directly to the platform, meaning someone on her team will have to retrieve 2 buoys. Idiot!
Meanwhile, Adam has finished his leg and CeCe is lending credence to Al Campanis’s assertion once again. Jeez, who goes on this show without thinking they’ll need to swim!? Sunday is finally beached onto the platform, meaning Jay can try to get Ikabula back in the game. Let’s cut to the chase:
-Figgy and Michaela both do well
-David starts strong, then tags himself in the face…
-Ken kills it
-David then struggles to get out of the water
-Taylor kills it
-David then misses the basket, causing his buoy to ROLL OFF THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PLATFORM MEANING HE HAS TO JUMP INTO THE WATER AGAIN AND RETRIEVE THE BUOY AGAIN…AYFKM? It’s so ridiculous that even Zeke wonders aloud if David is throwing the challenge (wouldn’t be that hard to believe). And when he gets back on the platform, he somehow manages to kick the buoy away with his knee, making him crawl after it again. OMFG…
-Takali is finished and can begin shooting…
-Jay kills his second leg
-Michelle flounders and can’t retrieve her buoy (but she still looks amazing!)
-Chris and Zeke do well enough, and then Chris does a second lap
Meanwhile, Ken has hooked his basket and pulled it closer. While he struggles to make a basket, Michaela has also hooked her basket, and does her best Bo Kimble imitation and starts throwing down 3’s. She’s actually a monster and looking pretty spicy doing it.
Chris and Vanua decide they need to start shooting and don’t bother pulling the basket closer. That’s like shooting from beyond the 3-point line, and Ed Sheeran, in his tired state, can’t find the range. It’s tough writing songs all day!
Michaela makes up for any shortcomings that Sunday wrought and sinks the fifth and final shot for the Ikabula win. Yep, building a 2nd shelter and making fire using flint is just what the doctor ordered for Miss Michaela.
Since Ken has only sunk one ball, Chris decides they need to try to hook the basket, pull it closer, and make this basketball thing a little easier. If this was football, Chris would be doing much better, but he’s out of his league in the water. While Ken succeeds in sinking a couple more shots, Chris manages to hook his basket and begin shooting. After making one, Chris watches Ken find his hot streak and sink the final two buoys, sending Vanua to Tribal.
And before we head to break, Zeke confesses that while CeCe and David were the pits in the challenge, they seem to not be bothered, believing they have the numbers. But knowing – or thinking – that Chris is ready to make a move, Zeke is a bit more confident that a Gen-Xer is going home.
I just sent in that Survivor challenge video to my friend in the WNBA . Nice form Michaela . Chris used his lawyer skills quite well at Tribal . Hell I was convinced he was voting GenX . Ok Probst we have to talk . Technically almost every Tribal ends in a ” blindside ” . However when a person who may be worse at challenges than anyone in Survivor HISTORY gets voted out don’t # sh!t on my TV . Lets set ground rules . When a player who has a chance to win gets voted off # all you want .When a CECE gets voted off don’t try and insult me with your shenanigans ! I agree 1000 % Fish . Don’t go on the show if you cant swim and start a fire . You are on a freaking island . You were too stupid to assume there would be water ?