Once back at camp, Spencer steps away for a sec and the Alliance of 5 confirms the plan to blindside Mr. Cub Curse. Savage makes it clear to everyone they’re supposed to say “Ciera” to Spencer, but to not be seen speaking with Ciera. Savage finds Spencer, and despite all his claims about liking him a lot, “nothing is getting in the way” of his Second Chance, and he predicts a brutal blindside at Tribal.
Next scene, Ciera finally gets to voice her displeasure of being Savage’s “guinea pig,” and gets Kass and Abi to hear her beef. She’d rather serve up Woo as the target. They’re okay with that… Kass takes Spencer for a little walk and reveals the blindside against him – much to his chagrin his affection for Savage is NOT reciprocated – and decides he needs to get in bed with Kass to stay alive. Do it for the Cubs, buddy! We know if there’s one thing that Spencer is good at in Survivor, it’s Surviving. So let’s see where this is going…
Evidently it’s heading towards a Kass breakdown as she begins her descent into Survivorinsanity. She’s got voices speaking to her, past lives being revisited, and she still doesn’t know which way she’s going. This might be a good Tribal…
Enter the cauldron. Kass and Ciera grab fire, this being their first Tribal after 16 days (lucky dames) and Jeff opens by asking Savage what he’s been working on this season. Andrew tells him about the deep personal connections he’s been making, and identifying who’s been loyal to him. Spencer talks about his game, and how he’s been trying to relate to people as people, and not as “other robots.” Woo gets to rehash “the greatest Survivor mistake ever made,” and Kass reveals her split personalities.
Savage says he only knows “Loving Kass,” so that’s a big problem, and Ciera claims to know how to read people, so she’s good. Savage is given another opportunity to make a Tribal mistake, and squeaks by with “if I make a mistake, it’s on me.” A couple more questions, but the key thing I just noticed is that Wigles is not answering any questions, again, and Abi hasn’t been portrayed as a bi*ch this episode so…what’s up with that?
It’s time to vote…
With only one vote each for Spencer and Woo revealed, it’s time for Jeff to read the votes (no Hidden Idols, obviously).
Spencer
Woo
Spencer
Spencer
Woo
Woo
Woo
Boom goes the nunchucks! And with that, Reader Kate and Bartender Jack are slapping their foreheads. And Woo (finally) gets voted out of Survivor. As I’ve mentioned many times, he should never have been eligible for this season – because he should have WON last time – so anything he did this season was a gift. Well, he’ll get to enjoy the gift at Ponderosa, while he tries to figure out what went wrong. Needless to say, Spencer is elated, Savage is dumbfounded, and KAOS Kass is back! Where ya been, girl!?
Next time on Survivor: The merge is coming, the merge is coming! Wait, so why did they have to lose Angkor tonight? And KAOS Kass is back. Wait, I just said that. I guess a leopard never changes her spots. Or is that, an attorney never changes her spots? We’ll see what happens next week on the Elton John sponsored show (“The Bitch Is Back”).
That wraps up another fabulous episode of Our Favorite Show and I’m sure we can’t wait til next Wednesday. I personally can’t wait til Thursday, when I can go to bed at a reasonable hour, but that’s on me. Alas, I was never able to attend my high school reunion, but I heard I didn’t miss much. It seems the only people who showed are the ones who are still trying to prove something to those old classmates, and that’s definitely not why I would go. Plus, I heard none of them watch Survivor, so we wouldn’t have anything to talk about anyway. Oh well, I just saved $125…
Haven’t seen Gotham yet this week, and the big news is that we may have lost one of our favorite characters on The Walking Dead. I’m sure you all know what has befallen Glenn, but let’s see if he was able to crawl under that dumpster, or if we’re gonna see a final tearful farewell between him and Maggie, but he’s a Walker, and she has to cut off his head. Man, that chick has been through the wringer, huh?
Amazing Race is not worth mentioning yet until we get rid of a few more teams and make that push to the final 5 or 6 teams. Right now, I like the Texas boys and the Newscasters. No reason. Just do. That’s another show that needs a little more nudity…
Once again, please send in your thoughts on the Shitt**st Survivor of All Time and any comments, questions, concerns, you may have. I have nothing to do besides awaiting your feedback and replies, so you gotta realize this is all I got. I’m here for you.
Magicbuttingly,
Fish
Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
Twitter: @BF_TheFish
AIM: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com or Bryan Fischer
Yea, I get to be first, I get to be first! Thanks for the double shout outs about Joe’s saggy underpants. I really don’t get all the panting over him. Jeremy has a totally better body. Odd that Tasha (NO I”M NOT BEING RACIST) seems to drool over Joe and not Jeremy when he is actually hotter! Hey, Fishy, can you summarize what Varner ranted about Tasha other than her being 40 something without a husband and kids. I’m too lazy to read it. I find Wigglesworth so weird. Is she stoned? The botox and fillers did something really weird to her. You know what it is about Spencer. He’s got an annoying personality and he looks like a grown man trapped in perpetual puberty. He has that perma awkward phase. Bartender Jack laughed as much as his flu and pneumonia would allow him this week when Feshbach started running down the slip n slide. He made me rewind the DVR 2 x to see that and we both made huge splat sounds when Kimmie hit the ground. Yes, Jack is bummed Woo is out but maybe too doped up on his Tami-flu to really have it sink in. Woo was really boring this season. But the gleam in Abby’s piggy eyes when he was voted out was horrible. Crappiest player of all time. That’s difficult. I’m trying to think of who I hated. Actually, I fine Ciera really annoying. She does nothing and big deal that she voted out her mom in blood vs water. As Jack’s buddy up the street says, “I don’t give a fart!” Maybe most annoying player would be better. You know who was crappy, that really skeleton skinny blonde chick that was first on the China season-Courtney. Joaquin was a tool too. I’ll have to do some research. I wish we could watch together too Fish! Open bar, it would be a ton of fun.
oops, meant to say “Fish-bach” stupid auto correct!
I’m going to stick with Coach on this one. Monica is nuts, there was no producer involvement in her getting voted off.
Why would the producers hint to Kimmi about Monica’s all girl alliance? Monica outright told Kimmi. Is it completely out of the blue that she’d run and tell the boys “Hey, Monica’s out to get ya’ll but I don’t fly like that?” yea, I’d say that’s pretty shocking, but once the guys knew, it was obvious (IMO anyway) that Monica wasn’t likely to make it through tribal.
Anyway, enough conspiracy nonsense.
Massive feels for Terry and his son and I was so glad to get the update at the end of the show. Big time respect for Terry doing the right thing and taking the first ride home.
Stephen… Yea, 100% agree with you. That man’s going to lose his mind when he doesn’t win this season. Please advise the neighbors to keep small pets and children away from him, and if someone could go to his house now and remove all sharp objects, that’d be great. I’m no licensed psychiatrist but that had to be some sort of mental breakdown going on. There’s at least a few screws that need immediate tightening.
Aww, I like the weird eating challenges. Little bit of culture from the comfort of my couch while I watch others eat stuff I couldn’t even begin to think of eating (unless of course a million dollar payday may be on the line in which case I’m eating whatever they put in front of me).
Savage… sigh. If you’re ever going to suggest throwing someone of your alliance under the bus, you offer your name. Your plan could have worked exactly as you wanted it to go, you just had to say “Tell Spencer your are all out to get me.” Of course Ciera is unimpressed that it’s her name. Of course Ciera is going to take a stab at shaking things up. You’ve just told her that you’re throwing her name out there. What is she suppose to think other than “I must be bottom of the totem pole.”
Don’t go down the rabbit hole, Wigles and Abi didn’t make good TV over these 3 days, that’s why they didn’t get much air time. Coach told us that tribal goes on for hours, everyone is asked questions, etc. etc. They had boring/typical responses and didn’t make the final cut.
TWD: Glenn’s not dead for a number of reasons.
He wasn’t on Talking Dead.
He wasn’t listed on Talking Dead’s eulogy list.
After dumbass shot himself, he fell on top of Glenn. Dumbass was getting his guts torn out.
Using said guts, TWD is going back to season 1 where Rick and Glenn covered themselves in guts to walk amongst the zombies (until the rain came anyway).
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
oh and one more thing, you really should watch Homeland because the OPENING scene has the girl from Gotham topless!
My kingdom for an edit button…
I realize it should be “Tell Spencer you are all out to get me.” not “…your are all…”
Ha Fish I love BBQ its a work code and since I read and post from work I just added to my log in . I regretfully admit I enjoyed Abi oiling up this week . If only she would never speak . Woo is clueless ! Great guy in fact if I had a daughter I would want her marrying a Woo . Hell I may adopt one so she can marry Woo ! Terrible ,clueless Survivor though ! Naïve check . Trusting check . Super nice check . Survivor loser check . My Fishbeck theory is he has lost girls ,friends , jobs etc to guys like Joe . Hell his mom probably loves a guy like Joe more than him . He is super jealous and deep down knows he cant win . Being the mastermind behind blindsiding Joe would be the highlight of his life . I am sure you read Varner s post Survivor interviews about how Tasha and Savage are terrible people . He basically said the way the show is being edited is portraying them as much better people than they are really . Tasha I am not sure about but any girl who is so quick to throw nasty looking stuff into her mouth cant be all bad ! Savage however I am starting to see Varners point . He is smug ,insincere and 1000% fake . I have never seen more contrived ,phony answers . Savage is a weasel . I get its part of the game to lie a little but come on Andrew ! Love the column . Look forward to it as much as the show !
Enjoyed the recap once again. Tip your waitress for keeping you clever and entertaining as always.
I too was wondering why we would drop buffs again this week…and then seemingly merge just one episode later. But…keeping folks on their toes and reassessing alliances is better TV no doubt. Maybe with the premature departure of Terry, that meant they needed to bump the merge up a week.
I knew Woo’s goose was cooked as soon as Abbi heard his name put out there by Ciera. She has been waiting to exact her vindictive revenge for committing the sin of writing her name twice.
And about Ciera…she has been such a non entity at first I was thinking…Who is this chick? Has she been here the whole time?
The oily slip n slide was it’s own form of entertainment…but that warm tingly feeling was dashed by the disgusting food challenge. But damn…Kimmi wouldn’t even TRY. You’d think an ample girl like that wouldn’t refuse food of any kind. Should be grounds for immediate torch snuffing if you don’t even try.
That Psycho Steven really creeped me out with his weepy breakdown. It was tough to watch. I’d sleep with one eye open and a sharp stick in hand if I were Joe.
Once again…enjoyed the recap!
Fish my boss has just ripped me a new one for failing to mention that we are hiring ! So if you are looking to re locate to good old Missourah (home of Tasha ) you can watch with us anytime ! The boss bakes one hell of a cake and we always have other snacks here plus occasionally a bottle (or 5 ) of booze !
I am not a lawyer, so not sure how the law works, but since filmed outside the US, could there be manipulation and not run afoul of US game show rules.
I liked Kelley’s tan lines. I did not like Abi’s wide caboose. Like everyone else, so happy we did have to listen to her.
Couldn’t have Fishbach pulled out the Jewish card and refused the pig snout? But then the next one might have been worse. Keep the food challenges to Fear Factor.
Also not a fan of the one week teams. (assuming preview of merge is what happen next)
Wow, what an outpouring of love from you guys. Thank you for making this a great week!
kinb: Kate, thanks for checking in. Maybe Tash is just being respectful of Jeremy cuz he’s married? IDK.
Here’s a snippet of what Varner said about Tash, “…it’s (her) attitude, the nose in the air, the dirty looks. And when we get to Angkor she was so sweet to everybody. But she looked at me and she’s a bitch. She’s just hateful and closed off. The more I tried to be nice to her the harder she got. She’d wake up in the morning and say, “Good morning, everybody.” Then she’d look at me and be like, “Are you looking for an idol!” I got nothing from her. Everywhere I went she was right on my heels. But you know…I love her. I love everybody. I’m not bitter at all. But, I have a problem with anybody who plays “Survivor” with God as a tool. To me, God does not like “Survivor.” Read the Bible and everything that “Survivor” is about, He’s not happy with that. To come in and use him as a tool. To go in the corner and pray and then come back to the beach and throw f-bombs everywhere? And then talk about how your church family said it’s OK, so you’re going to go do it? Own your own game. Have the balls to play your own game. Don’t say you’re going to be evil all day long because you can pray at night. Romans 6 in the Bible is very clear about abusing God’s grace. Because it’s not OK. To me it’s not OK. When I saw her playing that whole card, I had a major issue with it. And she said that God for whatever reason had decided that she’s going to be 40 and single and childless…and she just had to embrace that. I wanted to say to her, “You are 40 and single and childless because of you and your choices.” She’s just a very hard, stern, closed-off person and she’s created that life for herself. She shouldn’t blame that stuff on God. It’s her fault.”
And yes, something is “off” with Kelly. I look at her and see Jennifer Garner, who is attractive, but I look at Kelly and I just see Botox, or something wrong. Not necessarily stoned, but just “frozen” reactions. Maybe it’s an intelligence thing…
Spencer is a man-boy. Hope that guy finds what he needs…
Stephen = Sinister Pussy. I can’t rephrase that. What a weirdo.
I didn’t see the Porky Pig look you mentioned, but I’ll support the comment just because it’s her…
Yes, on Ciera. She does nothing and is given so much credit for the “mom-vote.” Who cares? She thinks she’s so important but she’s just a load of potential…
And yes, if I ever find myself on the east coast on a Wednesday night, I’m coming over! 😉
And I downloaded the Homeload pilot. Will watch to see if I should watch all of them, but had to fast forward to the boobie scene. As Borat would say, “Very nice!”
thatguy: I hear ya, but I just wonder if the producers drop a hint to Kimmi like, “We heard Monica say something about an all-girl alliance. If you ask her about it, we’ll make the edit look like she brought it up. And then you can go to the guys and spill the beans, and get some great air time. Whaddya say?” So, as much as I wanna believe the producers just ask questions, I gotta think they’re also creating some drama. Maybe not as much as Monica claims, but they have to be doing SOMETHING to try and create drama…
Yes, Stephen = Man on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown.
And I agree that Savage shouldn’t have thrown Ciera’s name out there, but I wouldn’t necessarily offer mine up. I’d try to make it a group effort and say, “Who should we say is our target?” and then let the group suggest someone. If it’s me, so be it, but at least I’m not pointing the finger at anyone.
Kelly/Abi – perhaps you’re right, but wouldn’t Probst try to illicit anything from them? Who knows…
And I’m with you on TWD. However, the blood that Rick & Glenn put on themselves was Walker blood, and the blood available to Glenn was still human blood. I took at that scene again and think the only thing to do is climb under the dumpster (or in it?) but not sure if that’s possible given the 6 inch clearance at the bottom. Perhaps there’s a massive AK-47 rescue mission that saves him, or a trap door?, or some other television “suspension of disbelief.” I just hope it’s something believeable, in the spectrum of what’s believeable during a zombie apocalypse…
RickBBQs: Ewwww, Abi oiled up is like Dan Foley oiled up. Just…no. And yeah, Woo is just a non-player. No legacy to speak of. Be glad we’ll never see him again after the reunion show.
Fishbach – agreed. Funny how the show latches on to these simpletons and gives them the opportunity to shine. It’s like, Ken Hoang, Cochran, Todd Herzog, all guys I don’t wanna see on my TV. Not that they’re not Alpha males, it’s just that they’re such wienies…
Yes, while Tash may not be Varner’s BFF, I’m sure I could find some way to relate to that pile of mess. One of my specialities is finding the diamond within the pile of coal, and I see a lot of coal on Tash… But yes, I agree on Savage. He seems way too “used car salesman” for me. Don’t think he’s coming across sincere at all, and that’ll make a difference later…
Thanks, Rick! Would love to work with you! If I suddenly find myself unmarried and without a plan, I’ll gladly move to Missouri. I need a change from this place as it is… Or, maybe I’ll make a cross-country trip and watch the show with all my best readers…!
hath: Thank you. My waitress – and her fake boobs – are almost too big a distraction on Wednesday nights, but somehow I find a way to focus on Survivor.
Yeah, if Terry hadn’t gone home, then they’d have tribe swapped, sent someone home, and then merged next week. Something’s fishy about that… This is why I’ll keep my theories about show involvement. Someday, the truth will be revealed.
Again, Abi and Ciera are nothings. I hate that they get so much airtime. I agree about the food challenge. I think if Kimmi was on my team, I’d try to convince people that she’s not there to win, she’s there to live by her own code. The only code needed is the Survivor Code, and that’s Outwit, Outplay, Outlast… Thanks, hathor!
doc: I read somewhere that despite being filmed outside the US, the Survivor bylaws mandate that players must still abide by US laws regarding many things. And I assume that applies to game show rules since it airs in the US. That’s my belief…
I’m with you. Kelley good, Abi bad. Need more Kelley. Need less Abi. And that didn’t even occur to me about the pig snout/Jewish thing. That could have been a “moment” on the show, and they didn’t even address it. Funny how other religions never make the cut… Not sure when the Jury begins, but let’s hope someone that rhymes with “ass” goes home next week so my episode 1 predictions are accurate. Let’s see what happens next week.
Love you guys and gals!
Fish