Night 13 at Ta Keo and an approaching light over the water signals an arriving boat. I think this means Dana Lambert has a tummy ache and needs to go home. Probst jumps off the Flying Dutchoven and heads over to the slumbering players. He pulls a Skupin and falls into the fire, but “tis a scratch” and makes his way to Terry Deitz. He wakes him up from a dead sleep (and I’m sure he was dreaming of his own “butt grab” challenge with Kelley) and leads him down to the shore where he can speak with him in private…on camera. Yes, secrets are important here… He informs Terry about a problem at home with his son, and the seriousness of the situation – that he’s in the hospital – and Terry has to go…now.
Okay, I’ve mentioned in the past what was going on with Terry’s son, so you won’t hear any jokes from me on the subject. If someone said anything to me about my little boy being in trouble I’d drop whatever I was doing and go. And that’s what Terry’s gonna do. Good man. F**k the game. He says his goodbyes and leaves. Kass is visibly emotional (could that be a first?) and says “you gotta be a parent to know” what he’s going through. I think she’s right.
Straight away we head over to the first challenge and after Angkor enters first, they get a glimpse at the new Bayon (sans Monica) and I’m sure both tribes are wondering why Ta Keo gets to enter last (that’s not the way it usually works around here…). Their questions are answered when Jeff reveals the drama of the night before with Terry and how he left. And I gotta say, as emotional as the players look, I’m feeling the exact same way right now as I type this. Tears on the keyboard…damn these drinks are strong…
I couldn’t imagine having to go through what Terry went through, and everyone is totally respectful of his situation. Savage, Kelly, and Ciera all give us a taste of their family ties, and then Joe pounds his chest for Ta Keo and says they’re gonna pull together and “do him proud.”
The feeling on the other tribes is similar (at least for show) in how unified each tribe is, which is the perfect time for Jeff to say,
“Drop your buffs.”
Angkor is respectfully heading to The Killing Fields for a little Cambodian history lesson, leaving the Ta Keo and Bayon tribes to see who’s going to realize if their Second Chance will be fulfilled. Reveal your buffs:
(immediate former tribe designation indicated)
Ta Keo
Kass – T
Woo – A
Ciera – T
Savage – A
Abi – A
Spencer – B
Kelly Wigles – B
Bayon
Jeremey – B
Kimmi – B
Keith – T
Kelley Wentworth – T
Joe – T
Tash – A
Stephen – B
Immediately, Kass admits that while she’s happy to stay in the Ta Keo camp, she’s not so happy that Spencer’s here. Oh snap, it’s already on like Donkey Kong…
On the new Bayon, Wentworth is the only one who wasn’t an original Bayon, so she’s already fighting an uphill battle, and ready to kick ass. And with Stephen on her tribe, she’ll always have someone around who’ll psychoanalyze his own position in the game and most likely get himself voted out somehow before her…
Immunity Challenge! Let’s see what they’re gonna do… It’s the old Kirhofer Slip-n-Slide With Ring Toss at the end. First team to 3 wins a feast: fried chicken, mac n’ cheese, brownies. And seriously, I’ve never been THAT happy to eat brownies unless they were made by my friend Kimo the Rasta.
Round 1: Savage vs. Jeremy – Jeremy wins by a firehose.
Round 2: Kass vs. Fishbach – Kass wins. Fishbach is a doofus…
Round 3: Abi vs. Kimmi – What a mess. Abi almost pulls a Fishbach when she thinks she’s lost but somehow gets the point on her first throw. Ta Keo 2 – Bayon 1
Round 4: Woo vs. Joe – The “American Ninja Warriors” bring it, and Joe ekes out the point. We’re tied at 2…
Round 5: Wigles vs. Wentworth – and if there were any fantasies I didn’t already have about Wentworth, I’ve had them now as she oils up that luscious body (in slo-mo next time, guys!) and hurls herself down the runway. (Man, I used to pay to see this s**t at the Hollywood Tropicana, but those days are long gone, and the only thing I see dripping off women lately is activator off their Jheri curls on the bus…)
Reaching the end of the lane first, Wentworth takes her sweet time lining up a shot and actually gives Wigles the chance to throw first. Kelly barely misses giving Wentworth her shot at glory. And it just falls short. Wigles races back to the mat and throws a second time…and connects!
Ta Keo is feasting, Kelley is bummed, and Savage confesses he’s stoked in his new position and vows he’s “not going anywhere.” I don’t know, them’s sound like fightin’ words…
Day 14, Ta Keo returns to their mini-feast laid out on a mat at camp. Spencer and Kass share an awkward chat which just proves that some people shouldn’t be friends. Savage opens up about how beautiful this moment is to him – “one of the most incredible ones” of his life, he confesses – and I’m pretending to cough the word “bulls**t” as I type this. However, as much as he’s liking Spencer, he knows Kass hates him, and will use that to his advantage any way possible. He’s already feeling very comfortable with his Alliance of 5 (Savage, Woo, Abi, Kass, Ciera) so he thinks he’ll be riding high for a while.
The 5 actually have a chance to get together while Spencer and Kelly are away, and Savage reveals the plan to blindside Spencer by telling him Ciera is going home. This doesn’t sit well with Ciera, who’s like, “Hold the phone, why me?” But she doesn’t want to rock the boat yet. She’ll tell them she’s down, but she ain’t down… Maybe she should have participated in a few more challenges?
Over at Bayon, there’s a little scene about how dumb Kimmi is as she drops food in the fire, which leads into a conversation Joe has with Kelley about how she’ll need to do some work in order to stick around. Considering Joe’s original Bayon alliance, and his new one, he wants to be able to keep her around for a while, most likely putting Kimmi up on the chopping block.
This then starts a cycle of targeted individuals…
Joe says he wants to keep Wentworth and take out Kimmi first.
This makes Stephen concerned about Joe flipping on his Bayon buds.
Stephen tells Jeremy that he wants to take out Joe first.
Jeremy doesn’t want to take out Joe first because he needs a “shield.”
Stephen goes to Tash and says he wants to take out Joe.
Stephen then gives us the creepiest scene in Survivor history where he essentially breaks down crying because he’s not getting his way and he can clearly see how emotionally and socially crippled he is, and taking out Joe would be the Second Chance he’s been waiting for since he played last time. Not taking out JT has evidently always haunted him, but what’s haunting me right now is how sinister Stephen is coming across on my screen, and how I would not want him to be anywhere near a machete at night… Freaky!
And we’re gonna do a gross eating challenge. God, I hate these. So Fear Factor, so 2005, so pointless. Here’s a brief rundown…
Spencer/Woo vs. Tash/Kimmi – eating 2 tarantulas. Ta Keo wins.
Savage/Ciera vs. Keith/Jeremy – eating 2 giant water beetles. Bayon wins.
Kass/Abi vs. Wentworth/Sinister Pussy – eating pig snout. Bayon wins.
Wigles vs. Joe – eating deep friend frog. Ta Keo wins.
Woo vs. Kimmi – eating pig’s brain (and we know Kimmi don’t do that!). She doesn’t even try. Ta Keo wins.
Ciera vs. Wentworth – eating giant scorpion. Wentworth proves she’s a swallower. Bayon wins, we’re tied at 3. It all comes down to this…
Kass vs. Tash – eating balut. F**k. Me. That’s the one item I never wanna see on my plate. I’m gonna fast forward a little…
Evidently Tash won cuz she’s holding an idol. Looks like Ta Keo has got some work to do. And as we go to break, Kass is playing Thunder Bitch and saying she’s voting out Spencer. Why does everyone hate him so much?
Yea, I get to be first, I get to be first! Thanks for the double shout outs about Joe’s saggy underpants. I really don’t get all the panting over him. Jeremy has a totally better body. Odd that Tasha (NO I”M NOT BEING RACIST) seems to drool over Joe and not Jeremy when he is actually hotter! Hey, Fishy, can you summarize what Varner ranted about Tasha other than her being 40 something without a husband and kids. I’m too lazy to read it. I find Wigglesworth so weird. Is she stoned? The botox and fillers did something really weird to her. You know what it is about Spencer. He’s got an annoying personality and he looks like a grown man trapped in perpetual puberty. He has that perma awkward phase. Bartender Jack laughed as much as his flu and pneumonia would allow him this week when Feshbach started running down the slip n slide. He made me rewind the DVR 2 x to see that and we both made huge splat sounds when Kimmie hit the ground. Yes, Jack is bummed Woo is out but maybe too doped up on his Tami-flu to really have it sink in. Woo was really boring this season. But the gleam in Abby’s piggy eyes when he was voted out was horrible. Crappiest player of all time. That’s difficult. I’m trying to think of who I hated. Actually, I fine Ciera really annoying. She does nothing and big deal that she voted out her mom in blood vs water. As Jack’s buddy up the street says, “I don’t give a fart!” Maybe most annoying player would be better. You know who was crappy, that really skeleton skinny blonde chick that was first on the China season-Courtney. Joaquin was a tool too. I’ll have to do some research. I wish we could watch together too Fish! Open bar, it would be a ton of fun.
oops, meant to say “Fish-bach” stupid auto correct!
I’m going to stick with Coach on this one. Monica is nuts, there was no producer involvement in her getting voted off.
Why would the producers hint to Kimmi about Monica’s all girl alliance? Monica outright told Kimmi. Is it completely out of the blue that she’d run and tell the boys “Hey, Monica’s out to get ya’ll but I don’t fly like that?” yea, I’d say that’s pretty shocking, but once the guys knew, it was obvious (IMO anyway) that Monica wasn’t likely to make it through tribal.
Anyway, enough conspiracy nonsense.
Massive feels for Terry and his son and I was so glad to get the update at the end of the show. Big time respect for Terry doing the right thing and taking the first ride home.
Stephen… Yea, 100% agree with you. That man’s going to lose his mind when he doesn’t win this season. Please advise the neighbors to keep small pets and children away from him, and if someone could go to his house now and remove all sharp objects, that’d be great. I’m no licensed psychiatrist but that had to be some sort of mental breakdown going on. There’s at least a few screws that need immediate tightening.
Aww, I like the weird eating challenges. Little bit of culture from the comfort of my couch while I watch others eat stuff I couldn’t even begin to think of eating (unless of course a million dollar payday may be on the line in which case I’m eating whatever they put in front of me).
Savage… sigh. If you’re ever going to suggest throwing someone of your alliance under the bus, you offer your name. Your plan could have worked exactly as you wanted it to go, you just had to say “Tell Spencer your are all out to get me.” Of course Ciera is unimpressed that it’s her name. Of course Ciera is going to take a stab at shaking things up. You’ve just told her that you’re throwing her name out there. What is she suppose to think other than “I must be bottom of the totem pole.”
Don’t go down the rabbit hole, Wigles and Abi didn’t make good TV over these 3 days, that’s why they didn’t get much air time. Coach told us that tribal goes on for hours, everyone is asked questions, etc. etc. They had boring/typical responses and didn’t make the final cut.
TWD: Glenn’s not dead for a number of reasons.
He wasn’t on Talking Dead.
He wasn’t listed on Talking Dead’s eulogy list.
After dumbass shot himself, he fell on top of Glenn. Dumbass was getting his guts torn out.
Using said guts, TWD is going back to season 1 where Rick and Glenn covered themselves in guts to walk amongst the zombies (until the rain came anyway).
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
oh and one more thing, you really should watch Homeland because the OPENING scene has the girl from Gotham topless!
My kingdom for an edit button…
I realize it should be “Tell Spencer you are all out to get me.” not “…your are all…”
Ha Fish I love BBQ its a work code and since I read and post from work I just added to my log in . I regretfully admit I enjoyed Abi oiling up this week . If only she would never speak . Woo is clueless ! Great guy in fact if I had a daughter I would want her marrying a Woo . Hell I may adopt one so she can marry Woo ! Terrible ,clueless Survivor though ! Naïve check . Trusting check . Super nice check . Survivor loser check . My Fishbeck theory is he has lost girls ,friends , jobs etc to guys like Joe . Hell his mom probably loves a guy like Joe more than him . He is super jealous and deep down knows he cant win . Being the mastermind behind blindsiding Joe would be the highlight of his life . I am sure you read Varner s post Survivor interviews about how Tasha and Savage are terrible people . He basically said the way the show is being edited is portraying them as much better people than they are really . Tasha I am not sure about but any girl who is so quick to throw nasty looking stuff into her mouth cant be all bad ! Savage however I am starting to see Varners point . He is smug ,insincere and 1000% fake . I have never seen more contrived ,phony answers . Savage is a weasel . I get its part of the game to lie a little but come on Andrew ! Love the column . Look forward to it as much as the show !
Enjoyed the recap once again. Tip your waitress for keeping you clever and entertaining as always.
I too was wondering why we would drop buffs again this week…and then seemingly merge just one episode later. But…keeping folks on their toes and reassessing alliances is better TV no doubt. Maybe with the premature departure of Terry, that meant they needed to bump the merge up a week.
I knew Woo’s goose was cooked as soon as Abbi heard his name put out there by Ciera. She has been waiting to exact her vindictive revenge for committing the sin of writing her name twice.
And about Ciera…she has been such a non entity at first I was thinking…Who is this chick? Has she been here the whole time?
The oily slip n slide was it’s own form of entertainment…but that warm tingly feeling was dashed by the disgusting food challenge. But damn…Kimmi wouldn’t even TRY. You’d think an ample girl like that wouldn’t refuse food of any kind. Should be grounds for immediate torch snuffing if you don’t even try.
That Psycho Steven really creeped me out with his weepy breakdown. It was tough to watch. I’d sleep with one eye open and a sharp stick in hand if I were Joe.
Once again…enjoyed the recap!
Fish my boss has just ripped me a new one for failing to mention that we are hiring ! So if you are looking to re locate to good old Missourah (home of Tasha ) you can watch with us anytime ! The boss bakes one hell of a cake and we always have other snacks here plus occasionally a bottle (or 5 ) of booze !
I am not a lawyer, so not sure how the law works, but since filmed outside the US, could there be manipulation and not run afoul of US game show rules.
I liked Kelley’s tan lines. I did not like Abi’s wide caboose. Like everyone else, so happy we did have to listen to her.
Couldn’t have Fishbach pulled out the Jewish card and refused the pig snout? But then the next one might have been worse. Keep the food challenges to Fear Factor.
Also not a fan of the one week teams. (assuming preview of merge is what happen next)
Wow, what an outpouring of love from you guys. Thank you for making this a great week!
kinb: Kate, thanks for checking in. Maybe Tash is just being respectful of Jeremy cuz he’s married? IDK.
Here’s a snippet of what Varner said about Tash, “…it’s (her) attitude, the nose in the air, the dirty looks. And when we get to Angkor she was so sweet to everybody. But she looked at me and she’s a bitch. She’s just hateful and closed off. The more I tried to be nice to her the harder she got. She’d wake up in the morning and say, “Good morning, everybody.” Then she’d look at me and be like, “Are you looking for an idol!” I got nothing from her. Everywhere I went she was right on my heels. But you know…I love her. I love everybody. I’m not bitter at all. But, I have a problem with anybody who plays “Survivor” with God as a tool. To me, God does not like “Survivor.” Read the Bible and everything that “Survivor” is about, He’s not happy with that. To come in and use him as a tool. To go in the corner and pray and then come back to the beach and throw f-bombs everywhere? And then talk about how your church family said it’s OK, so you’re going to go do it? Own your own game. Have the balls to play your own game. Don’t say you’re going to be evil all day long because you can pray at night. Romans 6 in the Bible is very clear about abusing God’s grace. Because it’s not OK. To me it’s not OK. When I saw her playing that whole card, I had a major issue with it. And she said that God for whatever reason had decided that she’s going to be 40 and single and childless…and she just had to embrace that. I wanted to say to her, “You are 40 and single and childless because of you and your choices.” She’s just a very hard, stern, closed-off person and she’s created that life for herself. She shouldn’t blame that stuff on God. It’s her fault.”
And yes, something is “off” with Kelly. I look at her and see Jennifer Garner, who is attractive, but I look at Kelly and I just see Botox, or something wrong. Not necessarily stoned, but just “frozen” reactions. Maybe it’s an intelligence thing…
Spencer is a man-boy. Hope that guy finds what he needs…
Stephen = Sinister Pussy. I can’t rephrase that. What a weirdo.
I didn’t see the Porky Pig look you mentioned, but I’ll support the comment just because it’s her…
Yes, on Ciera. She does nothing and is given so much credit for the “mom-vote.” Who cares? She thinks she’s so important but she’s just a load of potential…
And yes, if I ever find myself on the east coast on a Wednesday night, I’m coming over! 😉
And I downloaded the Homeload pilot. Will watch to see if I should watch all of them, but had to fast forward to the boobie scene. As Borat would say, “Very nice!”
thatguy: I hear ya, but I just wonder if the producers drop a hint to Kimmi like, “We heard Monica say something about an all-girl alliance. If you ask her about it, we’ll make the edit look like she brought it up. And then you can go to the guys and spill the beans, and get some great air time. Whaddya say?” So, as much as I wanna believe the producers just ask questions, I gotta think they’re also creating some drama. Maybe not as much as Monica claims, but they have to be doing SOMETHING to try and create drama…
Yes, Stephen = Man on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown.
And I agree that Savage shouldn’t have thrown Ciera’s name out there, but I wouldn’t necessarily offer mine up. I’d try to make it a group effort and say, “Who should we say is our target?” and then let the group suggest someone. If it’s me, so be it, but at least I’m not pointing the finger at anyone.
Kelly/Abi – perhaps you’re right, but wouldn’t Probst try to illicit anything from them? Who knows…
And I’m with you on TWD. However, the blood that Rick & Glenn put on themselves was Walker blood, and the blood available to Glenn was still human blood. I took at that scene again and think the only thing to do is climb under the dumpster (or in it?) but not sure if that’s possible given the 6 inch clearance at the bottom. Perhaps there’s a massive AK-47 rescue mission that saves him, or a trap door?, or some other television “suspension of disbelief.” I just hope it’s something believeable, in the spectrum of what’s believeable during a zombie apocalypse…
RickBBQs: Ewwww, Abi oiled up is like Dan Foley oiled up. Just…no. And yeah, Woo is just a non-player. No legacy to speak of. Be glad we’ll never see him again after the reunion show.
Fishbach – agreed. Funny how the show latches on to these simpletons and gives them the opportunity to shine. It’s like, Ken Hoang, Cochran, Todd Herzog, all guys I don’t wanna see on my TV. Not that they’re not Alpha males, it’s just that they’re such wienies…
Yes, while Tash may not be Varner’s BFF, I’m sure I could find some way to relate to that pile of mess. One of my specialities is finding the diamond within the pile of coal, and I see a lot of coal on Tash… But yes, I agree on Savage. He seems way too “used car salesman” for me. Don’t think he’s coming across sincere at all, and that’ll make a difference later…
Thanks, Rick! Would love to work with you! If I suddenly find myself unmarried and without a plan, I’ll gladly move to Missouri. I need a change from this place as it is… Or, maybe I’ll make a cross-country trip and watch the show with all my best readers…!
hath: Thank you. My waitress – and her fake boobs – are almost too big a distraction on Wednesday nights, but somehow I find a way to focus on Survivor.
Yeah, if Terry hadn’t gone home, then they’d have tribe swapped, sent someone home, and then merged next week. Something’s fishy about that… This is why I’ll keep my theories about show involvement. Someday, the truth will be revealed.
Again, Abi and Ciera are nothings. I hate that they get so much airtime. I agree about the food challenge. I think if Kimmi was on my team, I’d try to convince people that she’s not there to win, she’s there to live by her own code. The only code needed is the Survivor Code, and that’s Outwit, Outplay, Outlast… Thanks, hathor!
doc: I read somewhere that despite being filmed outside the US, the Survivor bylaws mandate that players must still abide by US laws regarding many things. And I assume that applies to game show rules since it airs in the US. That’s my belief…
I’m with you. Kelley good, Abi bad. Need more Kelley. Need less Abi. And that didn’t even occur to me about the pig snout/Jewish thing. That could have been a “moment” on the show, and they didn’t even address it. Funny how other religions never make the cut… Not sure when the Jury begins, but let’s hope someone that rhymes with “ass” goes home next week so my episode 1 predictions are accurate. Let’s see what happens next week.
Love you guys and gals!
Fish