SURVIVOR: WC vs BC vs NC – 2/25/15

And as Jeff intros the “greatest social experiment on television,” (doesn’t he say that EVERY season?) we cut to the utility trucks and are introduced to the three tribes. But while the show may refer to them as White Collar, Blue Collar, No Collar, I think (after watching the intro) I’ll just be referring to them as:

The Assholes
The Braggers
The Boneheads

Just a few comments:
-Um, Vince, do you really think you’re satisfying your thirst by opening your mouth in a moving truck?
-Joaquin, I’m not sure saying you’re searching for “loose women” is the second thing you say to introduce yourself to America (seriously, does this guy possess a filter?)

But, once everyone lands on the beach and Jeff reveals the tribes’ designations, the labels all seem to fit. Everyone loves – and identifies – with the monikers they’ve been given. And most surprisingly, Joaquin is the one with the most cogent thought when he says he’s not “defined by his 9 to 5 job.” Well, good on ya, there, buddy, but let’s see what’s the next thing you do to put a target on your back.

And, it’s when you volunteer to “lead” your tribe in the first challenge. Much like BBB when David was nominated to lead the Brains tribe, this may not be the position one wants to take, but let’s see if Survivor plays by the same script as they did 2 seasons ago.

For the Braggers, Dan takes the leadership role, and for the Boneheads, it’s Will, who promises to make magical sandwiches from the ether… Jeff tells each “leader” to select a second member from their tribe to join them in making a big decision. WC chooses So, Mike volunteers for the BC, Jenn is chosen for the NC tribe. As Jeff throws each tribe their map to their camps – each one successfully caught by the tribes, a telling fact according to Jeff in his pre-season videos – the tribes head out to find their camps.

The NC tribe arrives first (I guess) and this is when Nina reveals she’s totally deaf, but can hear with the aid of her cochlear implants. True to their nature, NC adopts a “go with the flow” approach to this minor setback and promises to have Nina’s back. We’ll see how long that lasts. Then, the big decision about what Will and Jenn’s “choice” will be is discussed, since the NC tribe wants to make all decisions a group effort.

Will and Jenn head off to make that decision eventually reaching some crates with two choices: Deceive or Honest. If they choose Deceive, they get a small bag of beans for their tribe and a clue to a hidden immunity idol. If they choose Honest, they get a big bag of beans and no clue. Will and Jenn easily decide to go with Honest, since they want to keep their tribe as strong as possible this early, but they will tell the others what their options were. Seems to me this choice is setting up the WC tribe for choosing Deceive, but let’s see what plays out…

Over at the BC crates, Dan and Mike are deciding whether they wanna be Heroes or Villains, but ultimately decide that it’s too early to grab that Villain label. That’s probably the best choice for Dan, but you can see that Mike was rarin’ to grab that black hat and run with it. Let’s see if he rues his decision. They grab the big bag of beans and head back to camp. As they inform the other BC players about the decision they were given and what they chose, you can see Sierra’s bulls**t meter is going off as she’s looking at them skeptically. Later, she tells Lindsey she thinks the guys are lying to them because there’s no way they brought back the “big bag of beans.” I think she’s either playing way too hard for 10 minutes into the game, or this portends bigger things for Sierra. We’ll see…

The WC decision goes down as expected. Joaquin and So are instantly drawn to choose the Deceive option (to be fair, Joaquin is lobbying for it more than So) but she goes against her better judgment and gives in to the devil whispering in her ear. They grab the small bag of beans and read the clue to where the hidden immunity idol is located. Realizing that she’s now in an alliance with “the devil,” which may turn out to be the biggest mistake she makes this season. Or, it could be a great idea, realizing that Joaquin is a Joaquin-g time bomb.

When they return to camp with a lie ready to tell their tribemates (seriously, on Day 1 you’re already playing to lose?) So says they were given the choice of Honest, Deceive or Neutral, but Honest and Deceive had a caveat that could burn them. They chose Neutral, So claims, because it was the safest way to go. Everyone rallies behind them that it was the best/only decision they could have made, but once they all separate, the other tribe members (Max, Shirin, and Carolyn) all agree they’re being lied to, and that So and Joaquin probably already have a clue to a hidden idol. Man, players are getting smarter and smarter…

Carolyn seems okay with it, “it is a game,” she says, but this basically means players are already beginning to align with each other. Shirin approaches Carolyn for an alliance, who’s more than willing to team up on Day 1. Shirin, natch, being the outspoken one she is, is happy to throw shade at Carolyn in her confessional, but that’s just part of being in the Asshole tribe, I guess. And, since she’s getting a cool “hipster, academic” vibe from Max (maybe it’s just a “beard vibe”?) they approach him to join their Day 1 alliance. He’s in…

The BCs are hard at work throwing their camp together and doing a pretty good job of it. They’re finding crabs, making fire, and generally getting along rather well. Boston Rod is playing his best Romeo card, opening up to Lindsey about his sister’s tragic death, and Mike is already starving one day one to the point he needs to eat a scorpion for protein. Okay, Mike, you do that… Seems like you probably have stores of fat that’ll keep you alive for a couple days on that belly of yours, but you go and play Indiana Jones on Day 1. And let’s all gather around, America, and watch Mike puke on Day 1, because he just ate a scorpion. You go, Jett Rink…

The NC tribe is worshipping at the altar of the coconuts and celebrating their first suckle. I think this tribe is taking their free-spirit vibe a bit too seriously, but I guess that’s what they do. I gotta say I’m not a “No Collar” kinda guy. I’ve never gone to Coachella, I haven’t done Burning Man, but I can appreciate a non-standard approach to life. I just never lived it that way. But I do appreciate their spirit. Vince is the kinda guy who would creep me out in real life, and the way he’s talking to Jenn right now is getting creepier. She’s more than willing to “jump into bed” with him (as an ally) but even she can recognize that he’s playing a game. So while he’s going to keep an eye on her coconuts, she’s gonna keep on eye on those feathers…

And looks like there’s trouble in doggieland brewing as Vince is starting to clash with Joe about the construction of the shelter. Vince thinks it needs to be built one way, but Joe, with his construction background, knows there’s a better way to do it. This isn’t fitting with the “go with the flow” nature that Vince believes No Collar symbolizes, but Joe isn’t going to simply go along with a plan he knows is wrong. Methinks there’s trouble brewing for the Boneheads…

So I guess this is the part of the show where the cracks in all the tribes are revealed because now the BCs are getting under each other’s skins. Dan is now Public Enemy #1 because he’s not able to keep his snotty attitude in check, and when he tacks left and doesn’t speak up, he’s lambasted for keeping his mouth shut. As expected, he’s now the odd man out, and decides he needs to get the f**k out of Dodge for a while.

Down the beach, he’s sporting a fine Italian marble bag when Mike comes over to settle Dan’s HBP. There’s nothing more soothing than two grown men stroking each other(‘s egos) and celebrating the fact they’re even on Survivor, so everything’s water under the bridge, and Dan has a new best friend. We’ll just call them Norm and Cliff, from now on…

Tensions seem to have eased at the NC tribe and Joe is claiming to be able to make fire without flint. The others (particularly Jenn) is anxious to see if he can pull it off, and even offers to help him in his quest. This seems to annoy Vince (or maybe it was just the cuts to him looking unhappy) who is beginning to feel like a schoolboy whose crush just walked home with the star of the football team. As Joe succeeds in making fire, Vince confesses that this is totally unacceptable, and he needs to establish what his relationship is with Jenn. Hey, wait, Vince-y, I thought No Collar was all about free spirit, and free love, and going with the flow… Are you saying that Jenn can’t go make love to Joe right now because she’s yours? Isn’t that anti-free spirit…?

So Vince and Jenn head away from the rest of the tribe, and he has the audacity to ask her if she’s attracted to Joe. Seriously. No, I mean it. Seriously, dude, you are a f**king freak! Day 1 (I assume) and you have a bug up your ass about who your alliance is bonding with? What, did you expect her to be worshipping your pierced nut sack (it probably is, right?) and then laying down to be tantric-ly entered by Vince’s proud eagle? Is his spiritual warrior calling to her, imploring her to be his spirit goddess? I mean, really, dude? Day 1 and you’re a nutcase. Good luck shaking this off tomorrow. F**k you, for being another crazy person on the show. Can we just get normal reality show people…?!

But, Jenn is enlightened enough to know that Vince is just being a dumbass and agrees to hug his smelly ass and then rip him in confessional. You can see she’s already ruing her early alliance, but maybe things’ll turn around for her.

Over at the Asshole camp, the building of the shelter is going as expected. As in, it’s not going. These people are not laborers, they hire laborers. So as the day is wearing on, the tribe realizes they need to put a lot more effort into where they’re going to sleep. In addition, they know they need to make fire, but they’re not having any luck at that either. After Joaquin tries in vain to get even a little smoke to develop, he claims he needs a break and walks away from camp. Carolyn, in the meantime, has been watching Joaquin and So since they returned from making their “decision,” and pretty much knows they have a clue. She decides to keep an eye on them every time they head away from camp, and since So is really bad at hiding her deceptiveness, Carolyn is sure that a hidden idol is located close to where So was poking around a tree stump. And sure enough, after finding a tree that looks “different,” Carolyn is successful in finding the
first hidden immunity idol without the benefit of a clue. Good on ya, baby…

56 minutes in and we’re finally getting our first Challenge of the season. Thanks, Jeff! And it looks like we’re in for a good one as the tribes have to race through a fairly involved obstacle course, and then choose to assemble either a 5, 10 or 50 piece puzzle. Each puzzle is progressively easier, but the number of pieces that needs to be placed evens things out. The two winning tribes get reward and immunity, the losing tribe is sending someone home. And I hate to say it, but based on how much drama was shown on the No Collar tribe, I wonder if that foretold their demise in this challenge.

As the tribes barrel down the ramp, plow through some hay and high-step through a rack, all three teams choose to try to unlock a crate rather than untie a bunch of knots. That proves to be a mistake as all three eventually switch to knot untying. So for the WC, Mike for the BC, and Joe for the NC. So makes quick work of the knots and the Assholes grab their ladder first. They make it through the first obstacle, but are overtaken by the Boneheads on the 2nd obstacle. The Braggers finally untie their knots and race to catch up.

The NC grab the 10 bag, the WC chooses the 50 bag, and eventually, the BC (after struggling to find out how to climb up the ladder) also choose the 10 bag. Jenn, on the NC tribe, has some difficulty on the “tree puzzle” (we’ve seen it before) and Joe replaces her. He seems to be a perfect fit for this show as he immediately starts placing pieces.

Shirin, working the 50 piece puzzle for the WC, can see what the puzzle should spell out, but she’s having trouble placing pieces. She’s not cut out for this type of challenge and eventually switches with Max, who seems calm and collected. In the meantime, Joe blows through the tree puzzle and wins reward/immunity for the NC tribe (so much for that stupid theory, Fish). And after Sierra has a bit of trouble on the tree puzzle, Mike replaces her and methodically places the 10 pieces, winning second place for the BC tribe. The comeback is complete. WC is going to tribal. Didn’t we see this same thing happen on BBB…? And before we head to break, So tells us that Shirin and Carolyn were the weakest links on the tribe, so one of them better be prepared to go home. Can’t wait to see how this plays out…