SURVIVOR – BRAINS VS BRAWN VS BEAUTY – 3/5

Holy smokes, has everyone recovered from last week? Does everyone agree we hate J’Tia? Are the Lobotomies on a downward spiral to an Ulong level demise? Should the tribe be absorbed like previous tribes that have failed this miserably, or should we just sacrifice all the players and throw them into a volcano?

Maybe just J’Tia…

It’s been a week and I still can’t get over how poorly the Lobots played in week 1. With all that brainpower, with all that history, you’d think something clever would have come out of that tribe; instead, we were subjected to a breakdown that rivaled some of the best this show has ever seen. Even when I saw the promo spots for this week’s episode (with J’Tia crying), it looked like we might be in for another meltdown. Oh, please, let the Survivor gods vote off J’Tia…

To the episode, Batman!

After the recap of last week, we see the Lobots returning to camp after tribal and Spencer is dumbfounded at what transpired. We already know he thinks he’s the next to go, but he’s going to do whatever he can to appear impressed by their blindside. It comes out that both Kass and Tasha went to Tribal with the intention of voting out J’Tia, but with Garrett’s total pre-Tribal epic fail (“J’Tia’s going home and nobody gets to talk alone today…”), the girls turned on him. Now, the girls decide they’ll stick together to vote out Spencer, but even that has Kass and J’Tia worried.

“This tribe is a total disaster,” J’Tia says.

Clearly the theme of the season for the Brains.

Kass says, “Garrett was fun to look at, but you don’t want to play with him. And J’Tia’s got a temper, but you can replace rice,” which seems a little backward to me. I’d say you don’t want to play with J’Brandon and someone “fun to look at” is replaceable… But what do I know? They’re getting interviewed by Parvati and I’m looking for printer ink at 2am at Walgreens…

What stands out to me is that everyone seems to be reacting to the blindside, rather than making decisions that warranted the blindside. I think many players do this based on what happens at Tribal Council, but it would be reassuring to know (at least with this group) is that decisions are being made based on BRAINS and not fear, emotions, or feelings.

Over at Brawn, Tony is lurking about and feeling lonely. He’s okay with that, since he has his idol to keep him company, but I think he’s in need of a little love. Sarah comes over and Tony finally takes the opportunity to reveal that he, too, is a cop. “Blue blood runs deep,” she says, as she agrees to work together with him. I’m just wondering if last week’s lie that Tony told her is something she won’t soon forget. So what does Tony do with his first alliance? He lies to her again (what?!). He reveals that Cliff and Lindsey were targeting her in a conversation he overheard.

Okay, so I can understand you want to get someone on your side, BUT SHE JUST TOLD YOU SHE WAS ON YOUR SIDE! WTF ARE YOU DOING…?! Clearly, this guy is a couple rounds short of a full mag, but he thinks he’s doing it right, so give him props for having a strategy…

And then, in honor of last week’s release of Noah, the rains came…

…and the wind came…

And the Brawn tribe (except for Woo) is feeling it. He’s like a kid in a candy store,

“This is Survivor, baby…”

And he couldn’t be more right. I always wondered why contestants weren’t better prepared for the rain. Maybe there are certain guidelines the production sets forth, but wouldn’t you assume that everyone plans for rain? I’d love it if a former contestant could give us a little insight on this, but I’m always wondering why people aren’t prepared a bit more. Hell, David and his blazer could have weathered the monsoon…

Later, Sarah and Tony are having another “blue” confab in the jungle. She wants to know what Cliff and Lindsey said about her, and Tony is all-too-eager to tell her. He’s a convincing liar, which is a double-edged sword in Survivor. Once you lie, you have to keep on lying, and they’re typically exposed. I’m not sure that’s the best strategy for winning the game, but methinks this approach is something that Tony plays outside the show as well…

The Beauty tribe isn’t fairing any better. Jefra, especially, is having a rough go of it. I guess beauty pageants don’t prepare you for these types of hardships…? You can hear in her voice how desperate she is, which means only one thing to LJ,

“The men have to fix the shelter.”

So far, he impresses me with his level-headed approach to the girls’ whining, which may carry him deep in the game. It’s still too early to see who the front runners are going to be this season, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed LJ goes far.

With all the complaining and hovelling the rest of the tribe is doing, LJ takes the opportunity to go sniffing around where Coconuts was “looking for crabs” last week. He thinks she may have had a clue to a hidden immunity idol, so he’s going to spend some time searching the craggy rocks and shallow pools nearby.

And lo and behold, without even a clue to where he should look, LJ finds the idol. Amazing…

Of course, he says that “no one’s going to know about this thing until I play it,” but I’ve heard that one before. Let’s hope he doesn’t have to play it too soon.

Finally, the skies parted, the rain stopped, and the sun shone again. The Lobots go collect their Treemail and read that a maze and throwing water have something to do with the Reward Challenge. “Hey, let’s get ready for the challenge,” Tasha says, but everyone’s got their own agenda:

Kass – I wanna decorate the shelter!
Spencer – I wanna drink some water…
J’Tia – I wanna eat some rice!?

Clearly, the one thing J’Fala (look it up!) should NOT be doing right now is saying she wants rice. I actually think she needs to be out looking for food every moment she’s awake considering what she’s done; but she’s lost her mind, and nothing meaningful is coming out of her mouth. Tasha finally convinces Spencer that he needs to practice, since “you’re the next one going home if we lose, moron”…but you know how well those public declarations go…

Out to the beach they go and Tasha is trying to show Spencer how to throw water from a coconut. Was this one of the job requirements of the St. Louis Rams cheerleaders? After a few snide comments on how poorly he’s throwing, someone finally has a bright idea (funny this didn’t come from the Beauty tribe).

Use your boobs!

Okay, maybe they were just aiming for the chest, but I think with a well-placed coconut, some women would have a natural – shall we say, channel – for collecting thrown water. Something tells me I’m going to like this challenge…