Back at the beach, Malcolm still tells us he wants Denise gone. Duh. Even my dog, who has slept through the entire season knows you have a better chance of winning against Skupin and Lisa than you do against Denise. But, one thing I don’t get is why you just don’t lie to Denise and tell her that you’re taking her?!? Are you an idiot? I guess Abi should have called you an idiot and moron at the last tribal, because it seems like you are. This is the final four, and if you don’t win, and one of Skupin or Lisa do, Denise is going to vote you out, unless you tell her right now that you are still sticking with her until the end! JUST LIE TO HER, MALCOLM!
But, he doesn’t, he hesitates with his answers, and skips around them to the point where Denise runs right over to Lisa and turns on him! Stupid game play, Malcolm. I believe that you never really played a good game, anyway, and this just proves me right. You had targets on your back quite often, but there always just seemed to be that person who presented themselves as a bigger threat right before the vote came to, and you were saved. And, then, before they could get you, you started winning immunity and playing the idol, so you really just kind of lucked into the final 4. You didn’t really strategize your way in, because if you had, you would have told Denise you were sticking with her until the end, because you knew if things didn’t go your way in the final immunity challenge, you needed to have every out possible to stay in the game. Just plain stupid. If you go on to lose this season of Survivor, you can rewind in your head back to this exact moment as the moment you lost it.
At the Final Immunity challenge, Malcolm opens his advantage scroll and reads out that he gets a second chance in the competition, in case he fails a first time. And, it doesn’t take him long to fail that first time! Why would he think it was ok to raise his arms like that? Does he not understand how this challenge has everything to do with keeping your entire upper body as steady as possible? Your idea of steadiness is to raise both of your arms at your shoulder and think that the ball is going to stay in that tiny crevice on that tiny piece of wood? Bye, Malcolm. You obviously have no chance…oh wait, he just flubbed it up the second time. Geez. Two cracks at it, and he’s still out first. And these other three were worried about him?
I love how Probst is all, “Don’t think about anything….” How about you shut the hell up, Jeff, and then maybe I’ll be able to only concentrate on this tiny ball I need to keep on this stick you gave me, all so I can have a chance at winning $1 million! I know you make more than that by taking a dump on daytime television, but that money would mean a lot to me, and I’d appreciate it if you’d just shut the hell up. I think the production staff can play some drama-filled music and show close-ups of my stomach and the viewers at home would be fine without hearing your voice for 30 seconds! Thanks, I’d really appreciate that!!
Before Probst can take a breath, Lisa drops her nut, and Skupin wins the Final immunity! Welcome to the final 3, Mike! You deserve it. I guess I mean that. He did win a few immunity challenges, was part of the dominant tribe early on in the game, and never had his name written down at Tribal, so nobody can truly say he didn’t deserve it. Congratulations on second or third place. You definitely deserve that.
Again, we don’t know what we don’t get to see, but I’m disappointed that, at this point, Malcolm didn’t go to Denise and tell her that they should approach Skupin and tell him that they’re both voting Lisa, and that they’d appreciate his vote, as well. At the very least, it’s the safest thing to do, because I’m sure whichever one Skupin and Lisa decided to vote for, they’d beat Lisa in a fire-building competition! Malcolm has to have known this would be the smartest move. Why wouldn’t he approach Denise about that? Sure you want to believe that your hand-shakes with Skupin and Lisa are “solid,” but you have to know they have that same deal with Denise. You have to know that. So, why not cover all of your bases, and go and make a deal with Denise, too. Maybe play to her soft side and at least ask her to give you the honor of fighting for your spot in the final three with a fire-building competition against Lisa! I just don’t get why he wouldn’t do this. I’d rather take the “safe” play of a tie vote than risk me being the one getting sent home at day 38. You know how I said earlier how you could rewind to that other moment as the moment you lost the show, Malcolm. I still mean it. Had you told her back then you were with her, you wouldn’t need to approach her now, dummy, you’d already have the play in motion! Enjoy wallowing in that for the rest of your life. Or, at least until next season when you’re on Fans vs. Favorites.
And, enough with this honor talk of going to the end with the “best of the best.” We all know you’re voting for Malcolm to go home. Also, your wife doesn’t care who you win the $1 million against, she’d get over the fact that you didn’t make her proud when she sees the new car you bought her, or the vacation around the world you take her on. Wait, what the hell am I saying? You’re not winning this game, anyway. Your wife is going to have to live with the beater she is driving right now, and the vacation to St. Louis to stay at the Radisson, 1.25 miles from the projects. Side note: if you ever want to go to St. Louis, plan a day-trip. You can, honestly, drive through St. Louis, not stop, and see everything you need to see. You’ll wish you listened to me if you ever do go on a trip there. And, if I have any readers who live in, or near, St. Louis, they’ll agree with what I’m saying here.
At the Final Tribal Council, Malcolm makes his plea against Denise, saying that she’s survived every single Tribal Council of the season, and that she’s gone through three different tribes and made it through even though it seemed as if she’d be the easy vote, and also that she’s never had to flip on anyone in the jury, making her the most likeable of the people left in the game! I happen to believe his points to be true, and that if they do vote out Malcolm, they are handing a check to Denise for $1 million. Although, if they vote out Denise, they’re just handing Malcolm the check, so really, it doesn’t matter what they do, does it? But, I’m rooting for Malcolm to win this season, so it matters to me! One last chance, Malcolm, whisper to Denise, “Let’s vote Lisa!” God knows Denise won’t go for it since she KNOWS Malcolm is going home, but you might as well try! You can’t just give up…
….or, you can, and then you can get voted out! Remember the moment I told you to remember for the rest of your life. Know it. Embrace it. Hate it. $1 Million. Not yours.
Your lengthy first paragraph rant does nothing positive or helpful. You should have stopped after sentence number one or two. I swore I wasn’t going to read your column ever again after the last time I read your disgusting filth, but since I was unable to watch, and I wanted to find out who each juror voted for, I succumbed. Never again – I read your entire first paragraph and that was enough for me. I understand your anger but this is not the place for it. Expressing your rage on a reality website to recap a reality show is inappropriate in so many ways. People come to Steve’s site for entertainment and information on specific reality shows. We do not need to know how you personally feel about something that’s been all over the media for 3 days. It sounds like you need someone to talk to – about a host of many issues that have made you an angry and bitter person.
@lucky it seems like the truly bitter person is you. Scott can post whatever he wants on his blog. It’s easy enough to skip over whatever you want.
Everyone(decent) is upset by this tragedy, and it’s not completely off base for it to be posted about.
Holy cr*p, Lucky, what’s up with you? Damn! PLEASE tell us that you’re not the next one to go on a shooting rampage, because you sound like just enough of an a$$hole to do it!
The Connecticut shooting touched the whole world. Had Scott not said anything about it, he’d have been taken to task for ignoring such a hideous event. So eff-you, “lucky”!
Scott, it breaks my heart to learn that you lost a child. I can’t think of anything more devastating, regardless of the circumstances (illness, accident, murder …).
How you, how friends of mine (3 of them) who have lost a child, how the families in Connecticut, how any parent manages to live with such a profound and incomprehensible loss is beyond me.
As for the Survivor finale … I am THRILLED that Denise won! I’ve rooted for her from Day 1 – not sure why, but I just liked her all the way through the season.
Malcolm blew it for himself, but is likely to show up on the next “fan favourites” or “all stars” season, so … second chance, buddy.
Skupin never had a chance … he was a “return” contestant and I never expected anyone to vote for him.
Lisa MAY have had just a smidge of a chance, but Penner blew it for her when her “outed” her as a former “child actor.” But kudos to Lisa for being so gracious in defeat.
Penner, you’re a douchebag. You “played” Lisa throughout your stay; you held her when she cried; you “counselled” her when she felt weak and incapable; you were well aware that she had voted to oust you in previous tribal councils, yet you still somehow felt that she “owed” you. I’m SO glad that even ABI (gag!) got further than you!
Scott, I’ve loved your recaps. They made this season of Survivor all the more enjoyable. I’m really looking forward to your future contributions to the Reality Steve site!
Thanks for the kind words. First, I want to make it clear that I don’t believe lucky deserves a response from me. With that said, she has every right to voice her opinion, so we don’t need to jump down her throat for it. Just as I believe I have the right to say what I want to say in MY OWN blog and that the owner of this site allowed me to write, she has the exact same right to say what she wants about what I said. That’s the wonderful (and sometimes sad) thing about the world we live in – we’re all allowed our own feelings and to voice them whenever, and wherever we want. I appreciate all criticism I get in life, and learn from it. If people want to remain bitter towards me, so be it. My wife is bitter at me every single day, so someone posting something ill on my blog won’t affect me in the slightest! 🙂
So, I just want to tell everyone who has ever emailed me, messaged me on facebook, mentioned me on twitter, or posted a comment on this blog that I appreciate them and their candor. I am sure I will be back for the next season of Survivor, if Steve will have me, so I will see you all then!