SURVIVOR: PHILIPPINES – 12/19/12

I am writing this blog to you with an extremely heavy heart. The tragedy that occurred in Newton, Connecticut on Friday morning is one of the most unspeakable acts that has taken place in my short life on this Earth. I have lost a child, myself, and I know the pain it brings about deep into your heart. I did not lose my child in a tragedy such as this, but my heart still grieves heavily for each and every person affected by this completely outrageous tragedy. Things like this make you feel so small as a person, knowing that there is just absolutely nothing you can do to stop what those families are feeling. We all wish we could have done something to help prevent this act from having happened, but the fact of the matter is that 20 children (20 f*cking children) were murdered for no damn reason. I get more pissed off each time I write that, think about it, hear someone else say it, see those kids pictures, and read every new detail that comes out. I want so badly to say something profound that will place a charge into those families lives, but I know, I know, I know that there is nothing that can be said to do anything but remind them of what they have lost. I think about how upset I was when I realized that Survivor was going to run until 11:00 my time tonight, and that I have to be up at 4:30 in the morning to get to work on time to work a 10 hour shift, and get angry at myself because I continue to be a little upset about that even now. I hate myself for it. I get to wake up tomorrow, and to see my beautiful daughter when I get home from work (God willing). Those families do not. I guarantee they would create a new hour in the day and stay awake 25 hours each day, for the rest of their lives, to have this event wiped from their existence. To erase what that @sshole did to their children. To be able to see their children, alive, once again. F*ck that kid. Seriously. I don’t care about the mental illness aspect of it all. I really don’t. I get that is real, and it had a cause in this happening, but f*ck that kid still. You go and kill children, at their school? You shoot some of them 11 times? Unreal. I don’t get it and I don’t want to get it. I don’t want to read about his motive, or his timeline going through the school. None of that matters. Let it go, people. He did what he did, and because of that, 20 children are dead. And countless other children have had their innocence stripped from them almost the same as if the bullets had hit them instead.

I know it’s going to be a rough transition to go from that to writing about the Survivor finale. Trust me, 75% of me, right now, almost feels like telling Steve that I’m sorry, but this is all I can give you. But, life has to go on, right? We need entertainment in our lives to help us through things like this. And, that is what I’ll do from here on out. I just needed to get that off my chest. So….

It’s Survivor finale night!! And, everyone is thinking Malcolm has this in the bag. Am I right or am I right? But, if there is anything we’ve learned from Survivor, it’s to expect the unexpected. Oh wait, that’s another CBS reality show I cover, isn’t it? So, who will take home the last immunity necklace? Who will they vote off going into the final 3? And, after half of our lives, who will finally be crowned the Sole Survivor of Survivor: Philippines?

The episode begins with Skupin feeling “like, alive” after voting Abi off. Well, safe to say you are more than like, alive Skupin, but I understand what you meant by what you said! Getting rid of Abi was a long time coming for the remaining four tribe members! That woman sucked the life out of the entire game. She dragged everyone down around her without even caring that she didn’t even know she was doing it. Enjoy your last day and a half on the island without the wicked witch of Sao Paolo.

On the reverse side of that feeling is Malcolm. With Abi’s humungous @ss target, Malcolm feels nervous that because of all the compliments being thrown his way by each person exiting the game, he’s next to go if he doesn’t win immunity. Not only should you feel nervous about that Malcolm, and think that way, you should KNOW that will be the outcome! Everyone is looking at you as winning the show, so of course they’re going to vote you out right before the final 3 if you don’t win! Have you ever seen the show before? Nobody cares about alliances at this point. It’s the final 3, where you can practically bathe in the cologne aroma of the $1 million! You are gone, homeboy, if you don’t win that necklace. Know that. Embrace that. Own it. Win.

Of course, the Survivor producers want to throw that wrench in our brains with Skupin giving us all that talk about how he thinks he has a better chance of beating Malcolm over Denise. Sure, Skupin. You know what the funniest part of that discussion with yourself is? The fact that you even think you can win! I’m pretty sure your own son would vote for Malcolm or Denise over you at this point. If you and Lisa were smart, you’d just go swim back out into the ocean and catch up with that whale shark, kill it, and hope you can make a $1 million selling off the meat of that mammoth beast, because neither of you are making the $1 million from this game. Know that. Embrace that. Own it. Lose.

At the Reward challenge, Probst tells the competitors that the winner of the challenge today gets an advantage in the final immunity challenge. Worth playing for? Uh, hell yes! And, even though it seemed as if he was out of it for most of the challenge, somehow Malcolm comes from behind and wins that advantage. Just the person who needed it, right? Will it help? I guess we’ll have to find out, won’t we? Oh wait, what am I saying, 99.8% of you reading this already know whether or not it will help him. The show already aired, Scott, you don’t have to write as if you’re writing along with the show airing. This isn’t twitter. Speaking of twitter, God help the people who send out tweets like they are writing their autobiography. I’m sorry to tell you, but nobody gives a sh*t about what you’re doing every 37 seconds of the day. We get it, you’re a celebrity and you live this cool life, and someone else holds your phone for you and types in your tweets for $45,000 a year. We don’t care. Either say something funny, give away something cool, send nude pictures, or just be like the rest of America and go about your day without telling the rest of the world that you’re sitting down for lunch. And, now I’m deciding between a Filet or Surf and Turf. I chose the Porterhouse. Medium well. It came out Medium. I b*tched about it and returned it. My mom laughed at me because I always do this. Here’s a twit pic of my food. Here’s a twit pic of my first bite. I ordered a second glass of wine. I drank the entire bottle. The bill ended up being paid for by the owner. How cool is that? Seriously, get over yourself. Nobody cares. People follow you on twitter to help pass the time. They truly don’t care about you and every move you make.