During the competition, we find out that Abi still sucks, and that she probably got her athletic non-prowess from her mother. It’s not “throw it harder,” it’s “stop flinching each time the bag comes near you and stick your f*cking hands out to catch it!” Goodness, it’s a bag filled with mud (guessing, but probably a good guess), not knives.
Of course, Malcolm and his weed-smoking brother win the competition. And, I kind of felt as if he should have picked Denise over either Lisa or Skupin, because you tend to believe that husbands and wives would appreciate the time together more than a sister and her brother. I can see the father-son choice, but I guess, like he said, he just wanted to reward the two of them for voting with him and Denise in the previous Tribal council. But, just forget about Denise who has been on your side the entire time, even after you two got split up and she had every opportunity to join a different alliance and screw you over!
I always enjoy the family members who show up and try and get involved in game talk. I think this season’s is a tad different since they get to spend an entire night living inside the game, unlike in previous years where they only get a few hours with their loved ones, but it’s still funny that they come in and immediately want to help out, snoop on conversations, and try and establish a new move that their loved one wasn’t previously considering. Like I said, though, with them having an entire night in the game, they really have nothing else to do but talk game, so they might as well. And, Lisa’s brother, Justice, takes full advantage of his time. He talks to Lisa, and tries to remind her that this is just a game, and that it’s probably a smarter idea to get rid of the threats now, rather than play the noble game and just hope you beat them in the end! Of course, every other person in the game has probably talked to her about this, but three minutes with her brother rings it through her brain and makes it stick! Lisa seems to work backwards, seeing as how most people tend to never take advice given to them by loved ones/family/friends/trusted counterparts/etcetera. We tend to want to hear it from strangers, because they’re not biased. But, I guess Lisa just wanted to talk to someone she knows to hear that Survivor is just a game and that Malcolm won’t hate her guts if she votes him out before she went and did it. To each their own, right?
“Let’s go Abi, what are you doing?” If I haven’t told you before, I’ll tell you now: I love Jeff Probst. He is, hands down, the best reality television show host ever. Ever. I’m also going to give him second place, because nobody else comes close. Third, I’d probably give to Ryan Seacrest, only because you watch what he does and then watch what Mario Lopez and Khloe Kardashian do, and you realize just how easy “Seacrest Out” makes it look. I have to believe that Probst hates Abi. He probably wishes he could kick her off the show and bring on someone who is more deserving of being there. And, I hate to say that, because I hate the word “deserving,” but I think you understand what I mean. Just someone who would actually take part in challenges. I know Abi “won” the last immunity, but that was only because she got to go straigh to the end. We all know she wouldn’t have won all three of those rounds had she not had that advantage! I just love how Probst keeps bashing her during challenges. Priceless television.
And, of course, Survivor can’t help themselves when it comes to foreshadowing – all that talk about Malcolm being blindsided at the next Tribal and look who goes and wins immunity – Malcolm! Shocker!! Nobody saw that one coming. But, with that win, let’s all congratulate Malcolm on making it into the Final 4 on this season of Survivor! If he is NOT voted out in the Final 4, the other 3 players are IDIOTS!! If Malcolm makes it to the end, he should be a no-brainer to win, even though he was on the team that lost every competition, and then didn’t win an individual immunity until final 6! I just think he’s played an incredible social game, and depending on who is with him in the Final 3, may even get all the votes from the jury. But, you never know how these idiot jury members are going to vote. They’ve been so fickle as of late.
“Look at the size of that ant on that tree!” Focus, Pooper Skuper! Lisa is trying to have a real discussion with you right now about whether or not you should vote out Carter instead of Abi. Forget about the ant (and we ALL know the ant they showed us was NOT the ant they were looking at) and start talking game. Although, if you two decide to vote out Abi, you are morons. So, I guess the discussion doesn’t even need to be had, go on over to the tree and eat that ant. Protein all day.
I think its not just Jeff that dislikes Abi – I think the production/editing team dislikes her too – I noticed that they show bad shots of her – tripping over stuff on the beach, rather than the booty strutting down the waters edge or something…makes me laugh. I wonder if she tries to engage the camera guys into debate or something, or says mean things to them too – b/c they like to show crappy shots of her. haha.
I was really hoping that when Malcolm won immunity they wouldn’t switch the vote to Denise. That probably would have been the ‘smart’ way to play the game, but I’m glad they didn’t.
If someone brings that stupid Abi to the end just so they can beat her, I may scream. She is annoying as h@ll and such a B! And because she is sooo dense, she will think she actually made it to the end on her excellent game play – *eye roll*!
In real life, I would be just as wishy-washy as Lisa and worried about hurting people’s feelings . . . . which is one of the many reasons that I can talk about this show, but could never actually BE on Survivor.
Love your recaps – your sarcasm cracks me up!
Hilarious recap, Scott – more entertaining than the show itself.