SURVIVOR: PHILIPPINES – 11/28/12

Well, I didn’t win the $550 million Power Ball jackpot. I didn’t even come close. So, just like millions of other people across the United States, I wasted my money that I definitely could have used for something more important/necessary in my life. But, we’re all dreamers these days, aren’t we? Geez, can you imagine what you would do with that kind of money? What would the first thing you’d buy be? A car? A house? Pay off your debt? Give it all to charity? That last one was, of course, a joke. I would find it hard to give any of that money away if I ever won it. Sure, I’d have no problem buying some family and friends a car, or maybe telling them that any time we ever go out in the future, it’s on me, possibly taking a group vacation to the Bahamas or something. But, I couldn’t imagine just giving someone, or some charity, a check. I don’t want that to sound rude, but where would it stop? How do you choose one charity over another? Or, how do you choose which family member or friend deserves it more? And, what will your other friends and family think when they found out this person got this and all they got was, well, that? So, I’d just go the opposite route and let everyone despise me for not giving them anything other than some spare bones here and there. Seriously, though, all that money! Goodness. As a kid, I knew I was going to grow up and value money and equate it with happiness, but I was WAAAAAAAAAAY off! Other than my wife and my daughter, the only other thing that matters in life, to me, is money. Sure, that’s probably because I have none of it, but I just truly believe that if I had money to the point where I was “well off,” I’d be happy. I know that’s something people argue is selfish to think (and idiotic), but it’s just something I know about myself. So, if by some odd chance one of my readers wins the $550 million, and doesn’t find that money makes them happy, feel free to throw me a little and brighten up someone else’s life!!

As always, I digress.

Let’s see if I can make my way back to Survivor. The episode starts off with the requisite talk about who is going next, foreshadowing to everyone that passed the third grade that the person they’re talking about going home is NOT going home. This time, it’s Denise, talking about Abi. But, she throws in a little mention of how, if by some slight chance Abi wins the immunity challenge, it would be Penner going home, and not Abi. If I’m Denise, and the rest of her alliance, I get Penner out anyway. Abi is no threat, and is ALL ALONE in the game, so why not kill two birds with one stone by getting rid of Penner. Those two birds would be getting rid of an actual threat to win the game (Penner) and a possible ally for the loner left in the game, Abi. But, I understand they all just can’t stand the big booty Brazilian chick, so they may as well just vote her off even though she has less of a chance at winning than I did at winning the lottery!

Abi and Malcolm take a walk to the Tree Mail trunk, where Abi immediately starts to cry at the sight of envelopes with all their names on them. She thinks they’re letters from home, and that somehow leads to Malcolm giving her a hug and apologizing for the way she was treated at Tribal council the previous night. I’m guessing Malcolm is just like me (and most men) and he didn’t really know how to deal with a crying woman. Hell, we don’t know how to react to a crying woman that we know well, so imagine, realistically, just meeting a girl and having her cry in front of you. I guess all you can do is hug her and tell her you’re sorry she had to go through whatever she had to go through. Anything to get you away from the crying woman.

But, it’s not letters from home, it’s money for the Survivor Auction. This “challenge” is always one of my favorites of each season. I don’t know why, but it just is. I think it’s that it’s just something so simple, and to see each person get so excited over something as “small” as a cheeseburger and fries, or donuts, or pancakes and bacon with a side of orange juice. I am extremely empathetic, and I can feel what they are going through, and I know how I’d be in that auction. I always laugh at the people who immediately start the bidding at $200 or more for donuts or whatever-have-you, but I know, deep down, if I was trapped on an island for 28 days, eating only beans and rice, maybe some fish here and there, and only drinking water each day, Probst could pull the cover off a 12oz can of Wild Cherry Pepsi and I’d already be pulling tricks behind the coconut trees to make the requisite money I needed to bid on it, because $500 wouldn’t even seem a worthy price for that luxury after it being out of my life for so long!