I’m writing this blog to you half-asleep. I’m half-asleep because I worked 13 hours today, came home, watched Survivor, and am now writing this blog at an ever early 11:30 at night. The only reason I’m not fully asleep is because this may have been the first episode of the entire season where I was actually engaged in what was happening in the episode. Dare I say I cared about what happened tonight. Of course, it took until the final 15 minutes or so to get me to that point, but at least it happened, right? Baby steps, people. Let’s all take those tiny human being steps to being closer to actually liking Survivor again. And, I swear to God, if the “i” button on my laptop doesn’t fix itself right now, you may just read sentences without the letter I, which would read somethng lke ths. Serously, “” have to go back and press on the button extra hard just to get it to stick!!!!!!!! I don’t need this at 11:30 at night when I’m just trying to power through this blog. Let’s make this happen Dell Inspiron 1501. Do your f*ckng job.
Anyway, the show starts off with Tarzan telling us he’s in a hopeless situation. Uh, well then maybe you shouldn’t throw votes at Leif and, instead, have teamed up with Troyzan about three weeks ago to start voting out some girls, not the Asian guy you hated for whatever reason. Use that doctor brain of yours. But, sh*t for all we know, he’s going to end up winning this damn thing because everyone is going to forget about him and he’ll just be there in the end and somehow win an immunity that gets him into the finals and everyone will vote for him because none of the guys will want the girls to win.
Kim also talks about how she’s worried now because of Troyzan throwing her name out there as a threat. She thinks it has made her a target and with that I now realize that everyone who thinks Kim is smart and is playing the best game is just as dumb as she really is. Part of being smart is understanding the situation you are in and (inside a game, like Survivor) understanding your competition. She obviously has forgotten she is playing with the likes of Kat, Christina, Alicia, and Tarzan. None of them even understand what a threat is in the game of Survivor. They are all just on an island, showing up for these neat little challenges this short guy in a blue shirt always seems to be semi-excited for. They probably don’t even know why cameras are pointed at them and why they want them to talk into them whenever they talk. It’s 100% obvious nothing that Troyzan has said is sticking with anyone, so you are 100% safe, just like you were before. Calm yourself.
The contestants get tree mail, which tells them about their upcoming reward challenge and Kat stakes her claim as the dumb one of the bunch when she expresses her hope that people get to choose someone to bring along on their reward. First, we know she’s saying this because even she knows she’s not going to win sh*t. I don’t even think she would win a competition where she was the only contestant and all the challenge consisted of was spelling her name. Seriously, though, when has Survivor ever NOT had the winner of a reward challenge pick someone else to come along with them? What kind of TV would it make for the viewers to watch one person go eat cookies and bread on a deserted island? Well, actually, now that I think of it, this may just be the same thing as watching three or four of these idiots go and do the same thing. Maybe the reward can be the girls oiling themselves down in their bikinis (or without, if that’s what you’re into, Chelsea). Wait, you’re telling me that’s going to happen later in the show. No sh*t. Ok, count me and the pause button on my remote in on that part of the show. Do you mind if I fast-forward to that part, CBS?
At the reward challenge, we learn that these fools would trust their lives in the hands of Kim and Tarzan?!? Did I miss something here? Have they not spent the last 29 days with Tarzan? You want to entrust your life with that sh*t stained, speedo wearing “surgeon.” Oh, I see, you got blinded by the title of “surgeon” and assume he can save your life if needed. Silly idiots. But, I guess they all have to choose someone, right? But Tarzan? Whatever death I am staring into the eyes of, I think I’ll take it on myself rather than hope Tarzan can come through for me. I’d rather be disappointed in myself when I die, rather than laughed at for an eternity in heaven (or hell) because I thought Tarzan would be able to do something for me in the end of times…
You cracked me up this week. I didn’t watch until
Saturday. Disappointed that Troyzan couldn’t pull it out. Looking forward to tonight.
Where did my comment go?
I thought for sure you would mention Kim’s mustache – my husband and I kept saying – look at that – Really? A model with a mustache? I’m not sure if it was bad lighting or what – but it appeared to be a mustache about 98% of the time they showed her interviews.
Sorry, my computer was wigging out – I thought I was clicking on this week’s blog and it was taking me to last weeks (this one). I see the reply back on this weeks!