SURVIVOR: MILLENNIALS VS GEN X RECAP – 10/6/16

Next week, we find out that Lucy’s been saving up all her words for next episode when she becomes the new dictator of Takali. Can’t wait to see how that will play out. Get voted out much? And when a physical challenge allows Michaela to go topless, she just moved up the “Fish pole” to Acceptable. Let’s see if those bottoms come off this season too and I re-evaluate who I think will win. Chances of that are low, but the fact we see Probst get tagged by a wave could make next week enjoyable. ‘Bout time Mother Nature gives him “the business.”

That is all, my lovelies, for this week. Scroll down for some good Rankings, or just keep reading the damn recap! Much love to everyone who stops by for a read, or leaves a comment, or tells a friend about this column. I really need help spreading the word and I’m not ashamed to beg… So please tell your friends. Tell you what, if we can reach another 100 Twitter followers by the end of the season, I’ll make plans to have drinks with anyone who lives in the SoCal area. Extra credit if you get Rachel Ako to show up… Just don’t tell my wife…

So, I didn’t get to check out the Ryder Cup like I wanted to but who cares? Gotham, Fear the Walking Dead and Vin Scully retiring were happening. As I tweeted this week, having the dulcet tones of Vin Scully narrating every summer since childhood (especially since I’m a Dodger fan) has been a total joy. In Los Angeles, we’ve been spoiled with Vin, Chick Hearn, and Bob Miller calling all our local sports teams. And yeah, that NFL thing is fine with us ‘cause we could watch all the other teams play.

But to have some of the greatest sportscasters – in their specific sport – call our local games has been the best memory as a kid growing up in LA. I know there are other great ones out there, but these guys were the best. Angelenos are going to miss Vin Scully – and then we’ll forget about him and latch on to whomever the next guy is – because we’re a bunch of media hungry carnivores.

Time to get to the Rankings of Every Survivor Player because it’s the one thing I’ve contributed to the Survivorverse that no one’s come close to duplicating. As previously mentioned (many times, sorry) I went back a few years ago and rewatched every episode of Survivor. I tabulated days played (thanks, Wikipedia!), rewards won, challenges won, idols found, Redemption Arena challenges survived, and essentially scored every positive (and negative) occurrence that transpired on Survivor since Borneo. True, some seasons had more rewards, or challenges, or idols, or whatnot, but the big picture is that all seasons produce quality winners, undeserving Final Tribal participants, unlikely players going deep, and surprisingly finishes.

And I’ve got the whole spreadsheet to prove it. So, without blowing my own horn any more (we know that’s Figgy’s job) I present to you:

Bryan’s Rankings of the Top 200 Survivor Players

Yes, I do have the entire list of 478 players (not including Millennials vs. Gen-X) but who really cares how Michelle Chase, Jessie Camacho, and Angie Layton did? (Actually, I would like to know what Angie Layton is doing right now, if you don’t mind…). But no, let’s stick to the top 200 (or so) because that list ends with Nick Maiorano, and what list of awesomeness doesn’t end with Nick Maiorano!

To recap…

Players are awarded points for the following:
-Days on the “island”
-Reward Challenges (Tribe) won
-Reward Challenges (Individual/Post-Merge) won
-Exile Arena win
-Immunity Challenges (Tribe) won or “gifted”
-Immunity Challenges (Individual) won or “granted”
-Hidden Immunity or “Special” Idols found or “gifted”
-Redemption Island duels won or “survived”
-Final tribal council non-winners
-Sole Survivors

Points deducted for:
-Medically Evacuated
-Quitting

Everyone knows Boston Rob is the greatest player of all time, but see if anyone else’s rankings surprise you. Remember, this is purely objective. No, “But Russell played the best game,” bulls**t. You gotta perform, and these are the best of the best… And it makes you wonder what’ll happen when Season 34 is complete (I’ve bolded those participants, since I’m pretty sure it’s not a huge SPOILER who’s been cast).

Rank – Name – Total Points

1 – (Boston) Rob Mariano – 215
2 – Oscar “Ozzy” Lusth – 194
3 – Parvati Shallow – 185
4 – Amanda Kimmel – – 173
5 – Colby Donaldson – 159
6 – Rupert Boneham – 154
7 – Tyson Apostol – 149
8 – Russell Hantz – 147
9 – Benjamin “Coach” Wade – 143
10 – Spencer Bledsoe – 128
11 – Jerri Manthey – 125
12 – Jonathan Penner – 124
13 – Keith Nale – 123
14 – Malcolm Freberg – 119
15 – Sandra Diaz-Twine – 118
15 – Erik Reichenbach – 118
15 – John Cochran – 118
18 – James “J.T.” Thomas, Jr. – 115
19 – Gervase Peterson – 114
20 – Jeremy Collins – 113
21 – James Clement – 112
21 – Andrea Boehlke – 112
21 – Joe Anglim – 112
24 – Tina Wesson – 111
25 – Latasha “Tasha” Fox – 110
26 – Stephen Fishbach – 109
27 – Danielle DiLorenzo – 108
28 – Amber Brkich – 107
28 – Candice Woodcock-Cody – 107
30 – Cirie Fields – 106
31 – Tom Buchanan – 104
31 – Aras Baskauskas – 104
33 – Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien – 102
33 – Tom Westman – 102
35 – Brenda Lowe – 101
35 – Laura Morett – 101
37 – Stephenie LaGrossa – 100
38 – Kelly Wiglesworth – 99
38 – Eliza Orlins – 99
40 – Dawn Meehan – 98
40 – Terry Deitz – 98
42 – Lex van den Berghe – 97
43 – Phillip Sheppard – 96
44 – Abi-Maria Gomes – 91
44 – Michael Skupin – 91
46 – Mike Holloway – 90
47 – Yung “Woo” Hwang – 88
48 – Jenna Lewis – 87
48 – Ciera Eastin – 87
50 – Ethan Zohn – 86
51 – Courtney Yates – 85
51 – Monica Culpepper – 85
53 – Ami Cusack – 82
53 – Kelley Wentworth – 82
55 – Richard Hatch – 81
55 – Jenna Morasca – 81
57 – Kass McQuillen – 80
57 – Corinne Kaplan – 80
59 – Robert “Bob” Crowley – 79
60 – Alicia Calaway – 78
61 – Yau-Man Chan – 77
61 – Jud “Fabio” Birza – 77
61 – Kim Spradlin – 77
64 – Michele Fitzgerald – 76
65 – Brandon Hantz – 75
66 – Brian Heidik – 74
66 – Tony Vlachos – 74
68 – Kenward “Boo” Bernis – 73
69 – Kimmi Kappenberg – 72
69 – Carolyn Rivera – 72
69 – Tai Trang – 72
72 – Jessica “Sugar” Kiper – 71
72 – Natalie Anderson – 71
72 – Chris Daugherty – 71
75 – Kat Edorsson – 70
75 – Sophie Clarke – 70
77 – Shii Ann Huang – 69
77 – Yul Kwon – 69
79 – Monica Padilla – 68
79 – Danni Boatwright – 68
81 – Rob Cesternino – 67
82 – Susan Hawk – 66
82 – Cassandra Franklin – 66
82 – Chase Rice – 66
82 – Earl Cole – 66
86 – Ian Rosenberger – 64
86 – Stacy Kimball – 64
88 – Andria (Dre) “Dreamz” Herd – 63
89 – Albert Destrade – 62
89 – Becky Lee – 62
89 – Matthew “Sash” Lenahan – 62
89 – Matthew von Ertfelda – 62
93 – Andrew Savage – 61
93 – Susie Smith – 61
93 – Brett Clouser – 61
96 – Peih-Gee Law – 60
96 – Chelsea Meissner – 60
96 – Twila Tanner – 60
96 – Ashley Underwood – 60
96 – Rafe Judkins – 60
101 – Bobby Jon Drinkard – 59
101 – Kim Johnson – 59
101 – Natalie Tenerelli – 59
101 – Sabrina Thompson – 59
101 – Todd Herzog – 59
101 – Vecepia Towery – 59
107 – Clay Jordan – 58
107 – Neleh Dennis – 58
107 – Darrah Johnson – 58
107 – Grant Mattos – 58
107 – Carter Williams – 58
112 – Jon Misch – 57
113 – Keith Famie – 56
113 – Denise Stapley – 56
113 – Lisa Whelchel – 56
113 – Will Simms II – 56
113 – Natalie Bolton – 56
118 – Rudy Boesch – 55
118 – Jaclyn Schultz – 55
118 – Aubry Bracco – 55
118 – Jason Siska – 55
118 – Troy “Troyzan” Robertson – 55
123 – “Jonny Fairplay” Dalton – 54
123 – Randy Bailey – 54
123 – Reynold Toepfer – 54
126 – Denise Martin – 53
126 – Sierra Dawn Thomas – 53
126 – Ted Rogers, Jr. – 53
129 – Missy Payne – 52
129 – Katie Gallagher – 52
129 – Edward “Eddie” Fox – 52
129 – Sundra Oakley – 52
129 – Adam Gentry – 52
129 – Helen Glover – 52
129 – Paschal English – 52
129 – Cindy Hall – 52
129 – Julie Berry – 52
129 – Mike Chiesl – 52
129 – Trish Hegarty – 52
129 – Burton Roberts – 52
141 – Natalie White – 51
141 – Holly Hoffman – 51
141 – Alicia Rosa – 51
141 – Jane Bright – 51
141 – Dan Foley – 51
141 – Alejandro “Alex” Angarita – 51
141 – Gregg Carey – 51
141 – Tyler Fredrickson – 51
141 – Reed Kelly – 51
150 – Sherri Biethman – 50
150 – Rodney Lavoie Jr. – 50
150 – Jaison Robinson – 50
150 – Cydney Gillon – 50
150 – Teresa Cooper – 50
150 – Kyle Jason – 50
156 – Mick Trimming – 49
156 – Erinn Lobdell – 49
156 – Jan Gentry – 49
156 – Jennifer “Jenn” Lyon – 49
156 – Caryn Groedel – 49
156 – Heidi Strobel – 49
156 – Shannon “Shambo” Waters – 49
156 – Debra “Debbie” Beebe – 49
156 – Judd Sergeant – 49
165 – Elisabeth Filarski – 48
165 – Christina Cha – 48
165 – Dan Lembo – 48
165 – Rick Nelson – 48
165 – Tamara “Taj” Johnson-George – 48
165 – Alexis Jones – 48
165 – Ben “Benry” Henry – 48
165 – Tammy Leitner – 48
165 – Julia Sokolowski – 48
165 – Marcus Lehman – 48
175 – Matty Whitmore – 47
175 – Scout Cloud Lee – 47
175 – Shirin Oskooi – 47
175 – David “Dave” Ball – 47
175 – Jefra Bland – 47
175 – John Fincher – 47
175 – Edgardo Rivera – 47
182 – Greg “Tarzan” Smith – 46
182 – Matt Elrod – 46
182 – Sean Kenniff – 46
182 – Ralph Kiser – 46
182 – Peter “Pete” Yurkowski – 46
182 – LJ McKanas – 46
188 – Baylor Wilson – 45
188 – Butch Lockley – 45
188 – Hayden Moss – 45
188 – Lillian Morris – 45
188 – Gary Hogeboom – 45
188 – Jeremiah Wood – 45
188 – Charlie Herschel – 45
188 – Jay Byars – 45
196 – Edna Ma – 44
196 – Erik Huffman – 44
196 – Robert DeCanio – 44
196 – Shane Powers – 44
196 – NaOnka Mixon – 44
196 – Whitney Duncan – 44
196 – Nick Maiorano – 44

Any surprises? I keep saying how surprised I am Michelle Fitzgerald finished higher than Tony Vlachos, but remember how many rewards her tribe won early on? All those victories helped her numbers. And Tony wasn’t exactly a Challenge Beast. So what’s possible in Season 34? Let’s summarize:

-By making the jury, Ozzy could become the greatest Survivor player of all time
-With a win, Malcolm, Sandra, JT or Andrea could move into the top 3
-Cirie and Ciera could move into the top 5
-Tony, Tai, Aubry, Troyzan and Sierra could move up to top 10
-and who knows where Zeke and Michaela (!?) could finish?

Which begs the question: how friggin’ high did Michaela finish in Millennials vs. Gen-X? Something is definitely off with my spider sense because she seemed like a “short bus” kinda player this season. Maybe they were playing with handicaps? Not sure, but talk about floating under the radar. I’m sure there’ll be lots to say about her later this season.

So that’s all, my friends. Hope you enjoyed another edition of Soap, starring Wilson, from Cast Away. And I hope you’ll come back next week to find out who killed Dan Tanna in the shower with a S.W.A.T. machine gun… Confused? You won’t be after next week’s episode of…Soap.

Bartender, is there a movie on this flight…?
Fish

Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
Twitter: @BF_TheFish
AIM: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com or Bryan Fischer