Even Kelley jumps on the bandwagon when she sarcastically claims everyone “has an equal chance of winning challenges” now. I’d love to trash her right now for saying that, but in the off chance I meet her next week, I don’t want to ruin my “I wrote about your Magic Butt” intro line…
The discussion turns to the tribal vote and who did what, and of course, this is where Knapsack’s Tash vote is gonna burn him. Not only was he not included in any conversations about who to vote for, now Tash is gunning for him, and the last thing any Southern Man needs is a black guy/gal out for blood. I feel for ya, Knappie! And now there’s a bulls-eye patch sewn on to that canvas…
The sun rises on Day 33 and Jeremy points out to Kelley and Keith there are 3 Season 29 Hunahpu tribe members here. Maybe that’s his way of trying to solidify a new alliance, or maybe he’s just pointing out something totally random, but either way, it gets Kelley thinking with only 7 players left, she needs to keep her options open. The Estrogen Express may sound all well and good, but this season has turned on a dime, and you need to be ready to turn with it (and doesn’t she look adorable in all her confessionals? Swoon.)
Spencer and Jeremy share a little “coffee talk” and Jeremy’s having buyer’s remorse over taking out Joe last night. Whether they thought it through is not really important any more. What is important is the Magic Number: 4. You need a 4 person alliance, and that leaves these two needing to recruit. With the threat of an all-girls alliance, their best laid plans with Tash, and then Kimmi, may be totally out the window. Spencer is starting to have flashbacks to Season 28 and how often he had to play from the bottom, and that reality is not sitting pretty with him. Looks like these dudes need to start working their magic (“magic” seems to be the theme tonight, I guess…)
After the credits we head over to one of those massive reward challenges that makes me all giddy inside. Love these big challenges! It looks oddly familiar, and that’s what Keith is thinking since he won it back in Season 29. Untangle a rope, build a ladder, throw some bags. No problem. I’m thinking this challenge lends itself to one of the guys (chauvinistic, yes) but cut me some slack, I’m still recovering from Joe not playing anymore.
Winner of the challenge will be taken to Siem Reap temple, where they’ll be blessed by a monk (whatev), spend the night (with rats probably) and eat a feast (now you’re talking, Jeffrey!). Let’s do this!
Untangling the rope goes well for some and poorly for others (Abi). Keith is obviously familiar with the intricacies of handling that much rope – as a fireman and a previous winner – but it’s Spencer who heads to the ladder assembling section first. This causes everyone to panic and head over too, all except Abi, who’s wondering why no one is helping her.
Ladder assembly is going well for Keith and Jeremy, and dadgummit it’s Keith to begin throwing sandbags first. The main question Jeff keeps repeating is “do you have enough rope to complete the challenge?” and it looks like Keith does. We’ll see if anyone else screwed the pooch on this one.
Keith looks to be in a good place, but Jeremy has a tangled rope with prohibits him from throwing bags. He has to retreat and untangle – and takes a bad spill on his ladder – as does Spencer, who didn’t take Rope Management 101 at the University of Chicago.
Eventually, Jeremy and Tash begin throwing but Keith is just destroying this challenge. I think the Knapsack is gonna win handily and he does! It was never in question. Kinda hard to create drama when there isn’t any. And despite his vote against her, Tash is kind enough to congratulate him, which is probably because she wants to go eat and sleep with the rats. Let’s see what transpires…
Jeff tells him he can bring ONE person with him, and he surprises everyone by picking Kelley.
“Shoot, I already got to 2nd base with her when I grabbed her butt, maybe I can reach 3rd and see a nipple…” he whispers to Jeff.
“Okay, well then I need you to pick one more player, since Kelley filed a TRO against you after the butt grab…”
“Dadgummit, another one!? Ah, hell, I can’t remember half of their names, but I think Spencer needs to squeeze one out because his girl was here and he didn’t get to see her titties, so let’s see if those monks can do more with their hands than just pray…”
Probst asks Tash how she’s feeling because she looks a little upset. She admits it’d be great to go on the reward, but there’s a definite up side to not going too. You always gotta spin it so you look fine with what goes down (unless you’re Boston Rodney) and says she’ll get busy back at camp with the other losers. More revealing is she’s wondering if the Knapsack is playing up the “I’m from the South and I’m just along for the ride…”
“…or is he really that slow…?”
Damn, girl…I guess Varner was right about you.
-there’s a four person Final Tribal
-both Jeremy and Kelley play their Hidden Immunity Idols at the same Tribal and nullify all the votes cast
-there’s a tie at Final Tribal and a tie-breaker will be performed live at the Finale Show.
4 Person Final Tribal almost seems necessary now. That or they’re going to have to get rid of 3 people in two hours AND still have final tribal with all the questions. Seems like that’d be very, very rushed.
While interesting to see all votes nullified, all it would do is cause a revote or some other form of tie breaker to occur. I don’t see that worth going on and on about “NEVER BEFORE ON SURVIVOR!” like Probst keeps mentioning.
A tie breaker on the reunion show could be interesting, but honestly, I’d be surprised if it got down to that. I feel there are some very clear winners who will take the majority of the vote unless they make it to the end with the other clear choices. Still plenty of lame ducks outside of Abi (Hello Kimmi and Tasha and Keith [Still like him though]), surely at least one of them will make it to the end. Although come on, if anyone was laughing as much as I and my wife were at Abi talking to the camera about how she needs to pick whom she’s bringing to the end, I almost wish she could get to the end just to hear more delusions of grandeur from her. That stuff was priceless!
Show went about as I expected. Spenser’s best shot is with a final three of Tasha/Keith/Kimmi and himself so doesn’t surprise me that he voted off Abi.
you are starting to embarrass your self and Survivor ! Calling Abi being voted out a blindside is an insult and slap in the face to every person who has watched or played , I wouldn’t call it a blindside if Jeff said only Abi is voting tonight and she voted herself out . She is crazy enough and dumb enough do it . That being said voting Abi out though popular across the land was incredibly stupid ! You carried her this far for a reason wanted her in the final three with you . Stop with the integrity of the game crap . If that was the case her stupid ass should have been off my TV 10 weeks ago . How you let the chance to have her sit in front of a jury with you knowing even an idiot like Rodney wouldn’t vote for her is insanity . I blame Spencer . He had immunity ,. Its simple . Tell Kimmi , Spitting Hillbilly and everyone else I am voting Tasha . You want to guarantee another day you should too ! Speaking of Tasha how the hell do you get picked for Survivor and don’t learn to swim ? That is unbelievable . People come to the show and cant make fire or swim . By definition an island is surrounded by water . Its a free prop for Survivor to put challenges in . The lord himself stocks it with food . Learn how to use it ! I would know how to swim every stroke ever invented . Plus I would be able to start a fire using pubic hair and rice . Its common freaking sense to learn the few simple things that are necessities to live on a damn island !!!!!!!!
OOOOPS beginning of my rant was cut off . I could lie and say I said hello hope everyone is doing great but it would be a lie . I immediately lashed out at Jeff for his idiotic use of the word blindside
Just a few more days. Is everyone getting excited?
thatguy: While I think it’s likely we’re in for a 4 person FT, I’m not sure I’m a fan of it. Perhaps there’s some other “first time ever” thing like the top 2 vote getters are sent home? IDK, I’m sure whatever happens, fans won’t like it. That seems to be the way it works, right?
All votes nullified could be interesting if it nullified, say, 4 votes for Jeremy and 2 for Kelley. Sure, they’d just revote with the same outcome, but you never know. Hell, Probst needs to promote the show any way he can — we’ve seen what he talked up in the past — so I wouldn’t put it past him to make this non-event a huge deal. We’ll see.
So, I’m with you on some kind of tiebreaker at the live show. Who knows, maybe it’s a combination of things and there’s a 4 person final tribal AND a tiebreaker where 3 people all receive 3 votes? Settle it on live TV… I just hope it’s something cool and not some lame attempt at being “cutting edge” or new.
Funny how Jeff is even saying how unaware Abi is of herself and that she didn’t really go through any changes like she intended… Her FT question will most likely be about herself and why she was voted out, rather than what the players did to win the game. Mark my words…
This season has been so different in how voting went you almost can’t apply standard Survivor logic to the past votes. As I wrote, I love that Tash said they “owe it to the fans” to dump Abi, but who knows if that was the right play. You never know until it’s all over, and there are ways to get votes based on FT answers.
Rick! Yeah, I was like, “What’s gotten into Rick this week? He seems pissed off at me…” But then how could you be pissed off at me……….?
Especially when it was your birthday a couple days ago!!! Whoop Whoop! Happy birthday, stud, hope you were given a fancy BBQ by those folks at your work. Good times in Missouri…
Okay, so I get you on the blindside reform talk. I think Jeff is (again) just trying to pump up the drama. TBH, he’s using blindside every time someone goes home and they’re not expecting it, but that’s most every Tribial…ever. Sure, these aren’t traditional blindsides, but he’s doing everything he can to make this THE GREATEST SEASON EVER, and has even said that in interviews. Let’s see how it wraps up next week.
I know what you’re saying about Abi. While I agree in principle (trying to win the game) I’ve always believed annoying people should go home early. That’s why I hoped she was voted out first in my first column this season. Trouble is, the farther she got, the more her stock rises, and finally someone had the balls (Tash) to make it happen. Yeah, it could be called a bad move, but even decisions like that could potentially have an upside with the jury. “Damn, she had the balls to vote out crazy Abi, I’ll give her my vote…” Prolly not, but you never know how the Butterfly Effect changes the game day to day…
I don’t know if she DOESN’T know how to swim, I think she was just really fatigued. Who knows? Maybe we’ll find out more about that at the finale.
Thanks for all your comments this season, Rick, however I don’t think I wanna watch you make fire… Gotta draw a line somewhere!
Enjoy the final episode, I’ll be doing the same from inside the live show…and there’s a good chance I’m going with A VERY SPECIAL GUEST. Stay tuned for that big reveal next week.
Thanks again to everyone for all your comments. You guys make this all the more fun for me.
Fish
A few things, first off Mr. Fish, you probably look way better than Channing! Don’t be so hard on yourself. But please stop threatening us with quitting these recaps. Its cruel. Ok, one thing that’s been bugging me, why does Spencer walk like a duck? Its so odd. Abi-I have hated her all season, her tiny piggy eyes, her mean comments, her manic/depressive personality..but she actually came across as fairly sane and normal in her Ponderosa video. She said she’s a realtor. Can you imagine having her help you buy a house? I can’t imagine her doing well in any type of negotiation. Speaking of goats, Kimmi is a total goat. And Tasha, she is rather a goat too-what happened to her challenge beast self? I grow to hate Savage more and more as I watch the Ponderosa videos. He dresses like he’s a 20 year old at a Pfish concert. Rasta hat, open shirt-he’s just gross and so cocky. I love watching Kass tell him he’s an asshole. Here’s my hope for the Win in order of who I hope gets it. Jeremy, Keith, nuclear warhead accidentally hits the island and they are all fried. IF I must go on from there…Spencer, Wentworth (she is not hot-what is wrong with you!), Kimmi or Tasha at the end. I never watched Feshbach’s first season. Why was he so annoying then? Did he act as odd as he did at the beginning of this one? I actually liked him by the time he was voted out, ok I admit it.
Thanks Fish . The boss is usually nice to me on my birthday . Sometimes even nice on Christmas . She is really really mean around the 4 th of July though . The entire first week of July she calls everyone in the office ungrateful infidels ( must be part British ) . Best of luck getting into the Survivor reunion show . If you are lucky enough to meet RC or coconuts give them a firm hand (or breast ) shake for me !
Katiebeans! You are far too kind. I appreciate the love, but Channing’s got me by a lot. -IF- you’re into that hunky, Hollywood, macho, muscular, studly kinda guy. I’m kinda like Travis Bice (look it up) with a man bod. But, I have boyish good looks for 48, all due to the alcohol pickling all my internal organs…
And, to be fair, I’m not threatening to quit. I’m just being honest with myself (and you guys) about what might be around the corner. I would hate to not be able to write these anymore, and worse, not be able to say goodbye properly. To be perfectly frank about it, to make this column work successfully, there’s a great deal of time that needs to go into it, and time is not something I have a lot of these days. So, it’s either write a quick, shitty column with a couple laughs, or spend a lot of time on it and write a longer, less shitty column, with a few more laughs. Sometimes I stare at my sons as they refill the ice cube trays and wonder if I could be a better father…
Random thoughts…
Spencer – I noticed that too. He’s got skinny legs and walks like a spoon’s in his butt.
Abi – I didn’t hear where she said she’s a realtor. You sure about that? I read that she created an alcoholic drink in a bottle, which makes more sense. She needs to keep guys drunk to date her…
Kimmi – who is she?
Tash – Varner confirmed that everything he said about her is true, so she must be REALLY awful. Now, I don’t know boo about Varner (in real life) but I think we can get a sense of who these people are after seeing them in so many interviews/videos. I used to think Tash was sexy, now it’s just like whoa…
Savage – he strikes me as one of those snobby jerks who just likes to hang out with the same kind of person. I hate those guys… Go vote for Trump.
I like your picks but what the hell is wrong with you? Wentworth is gorgeous. Like a little Scandanavian goddess. I love her…
Fishbach has gotten better, but I think a lot of people suffered from having the “Second Chance” label hung on them. Like everyone had to play into that story arc yet it different fit for everyone. Fishbach, originally, was just a nerdy guy who latched onto a nice guy (JT) and they ran their success to the end. Fortunately for Fishbach, JT was honorable and kept him around, but I think he was also smart enough to know he could beat Fishbach too. I don’t remember if Fishbach ever had an opportunity to take out JT, but maybe that’s what he truly regrets not doing.
Thanks for all your love and support over the years. You’re my favorite reader and I do hope I can continue arguing with you about Keith’s merits… XO
Rick! Take my advice. Keep the boss happy, at all costs. Even if it pisses off other employees. Fuck ’em, they don’t pay you…
I’m a lock for the finale show, and there’s a chance I’ll be attending with that VIP GUEST I mentioned the other day. Don’t wanna jinx it. Maybe if I have an opportunity to Tweet a picture before giving up my phone I will post a photo with him. I’ll let you know what happens either way.
I will endeavor to grab their boobs for you, but that will lead to 3 things:
1. Kicked out of show
2. Arrested for sexual battery
3. Divorce
So, you may wanna request something else…
Thanks for all your comments this season, was fun to see there are fans out there who do Survivor the way I wish I could. You’re the ones this show is made for, and which is why it’s still on after so many years. Guys like me, and other bloggers and social media peeps, may be doing what we can to keep the show fresh, but it’s not made for us. It’s made for you. I’m just glad I can be a fan once in a while…
Take care, happy holidays, and I wish everyone a great finale…
Fish out!
I certainly do not want to get you in trouble . Send them to St Louis all 4 of them if you know what I mean !!!! Actually I am a legs and butt guy but damn those girls and their have some nice eyes (and hooters ) !