At tribal, Jeff brings up the reward challenge at the temple (blah, blah, blah) and then Tash’s Al Campanis moment (blah, blah, blah) but this tribal is all about where the split will occur and who’s on what side. Keith opens his mouth (and god help me if he says something stupid) talks about his group, as does Kimmi, and all-of-a-sudden we’re talking about “we” like it’s Tony’s Tyler Perry idol.
Everyone, evidently, has a couple options tonight, and no one knows which way to go. Well, Keith knows which We he’s going with, and he’s the only one who’s confident enough to state he’s cool with his We. Jeff asks Jeremy if he’s confident in his We, and he responds,
“Which We?”
So nothing is definite, and no one should be confident. Tonight is all about throwing your hands up and just waiting for Jeff to reveal the votes, and there’s always that Hidden Idol which could throw a curve ball at the proceedings.
And my wife just walked out and said, “Show me your abs.” I take another sip, politely decline and I think I’m sleeping on the couch tonight. F**k you, Tatum…
Back to Tribal and Abi is mentioning how she’s a “risk taker” but that probably just means she’s a future guest at Ponderosa. Let’s hope and get to the vote.
One vote for Tash and Abi are revealed, but it’s all about Hidden Idols and the vote. Jeremy and Kelley stay put for the Hidden Idol part and Jeff reads the votes:
Abi
Tasha
Abi
Tasha (so much for the Estrogen Express!)
Abi
Keith (wait, did Keith vote for himself, because this doesn’t make any sense!)
Abi
Boom goes the chick who should never have been here in the first place. I hope you’re happy, America. I hope you got your money’s worth. Because you just put about $35,000 in Abi’s pocket. Nicely done, folks. BTW, this ISN’T Big Brother…
For all her ranting and raving throughout the season, Abi leaves reasonably composed and even wishes them luck. I hate to think of having to watch her Ponderosa video, and worse, her Final Tribal question, but at least she’s gone. 12 episodes too late, but beggars can’t be choosers…
Wentworth seems to be the only one surprised by tonight’s vote as she throws a little shade at Spencer. She knows he flipped, and Hell hath no fury like a goddess scorned.
The tease is really not anything too revealing. They obviously can’t provide us with anything that’ll tip their hand, but now that Abi’s gone, it’s really an open book. Everyone (maybe not Kimmi) can win a challenge, and it’ll be very interesting to see how the alliances/voting blocs/We’s come together next week. I’m really interested to see what happens watching it live at CBS, and I know you’ll all be watching with baited breath as well.
This season, unlike the past 3, has been remarkably well-played, and not in need of Jeff talking it up just to keep the public interested. We’re all fans of the show, and the one thing we wanna see is a deserving winner after a season of kick-ass strategy.
Hopefully, long gone are the days of the Lillians, Beckys, Fishbachs, Sherris, Gervases, and S**thead last season sitting at Final Tribal, trying to explain why they deserve your vote, when they deserved nothing. And hopefully the Survivor producers, and fans voting on the next Second Chance season, will agree the “Big Brother/reality show” approach to casting for Survivor is not needed. Give us great PLAYERS, not scapegoats, and let the cream rise to the top.
I’m still holding out for my Survivor: Sabotage or Survivor: Holy War to be noticed by Mark Burnett or Probst, so I need to continue the Twitter barrage at them. Because with everything going on in the world lately, I think Holy War would be great television.
But no, I’m sure we’ll get Brains vs. Biceps vs. Boob Jobs II or Blood vs. Water III, or hell, Survivor: Legends (okay, that would be acceptable). But we all know we have to get through Survivor: Cambodia first, which will probably be a huge letdown after the current one. I feel bad for the players on S32 who will have to wait a year to get paid, but I’m sure they’ll forget all about that when they suddenly begin exploding on social media. Good luck to them.
But we have a huge finale next week, and from what Jeff has promised repeatedly – that there will be “something that’s never happened before” – we’re all left wondering what that might be. As I scroll through Twitter this morning, it looks like the top theories are:
-there’s a four person Final Tribal
-both Jeremy and Kelley play their Hidden Immunity Idols at the same Tribal and nullify all the votes cast
-there’s a tie at Final Tribal and a tie-breaker will be performed live at the Finale Show.
Any of those would be pretty friggin’ cool. Seriously, I can’t wait.
For me, it’s the culmination of 15 years as an Überfan, and the ONLY thing that would be better is actually being on the show. I’ll take the silver medal and watch quietly from my seat and hope I have the opportunity to meet a few players. I hope all of you enjoy the finale as well, and hope you come back next week for what could be my last column for a long time.
With the finales of The Walking Dead and Gotham already aired, there isn’t much else to discuss. I hate that we have to wait so long for new episodes, but I guess that’s the new reality in TV. Give ‘em a taste, make ‘em wait…
To fill the void, I began binge watching Homeland, and I’m up to Season 5 already. Man, I can’t believe how popular this show is considering the main character is one of the biggest f**k-up, psychotic, whoring, drunk, bad parenting characters ever on television. I mean, who created this character? I know they’re trying to establish some breadth to Carrie Mathison, but come on. I don’t think the CIA would ever keep someone around who disobeyed orders, broke laws, and conspired against her superiors as much as Carrie has, but let’s just sweep all that aside. So dumb. And yeah, with all her f**k ups, let’s just give her a station of her own to command, in some of the most dangerous parts of the Middle East. Yeah, that would never happen. I think this is why I like reality TV. At least if there’s a crazy bitch running around, it’s because she really is a crazy bitch and not because her character was developed in some writer’s mind.
Alright, the wife just walked out with a coy smile on her face but I don’t think I’m the target of her affections tonight. Personally, I’m feeling pretty good with “the Goose” right now, and probably can’t do any of the moves Messrs. Tatum or Manganiello can do. My loss. Starting that ab workout tomorrow…
Until the next time…
Your bestest buddy and Überpal,
Fish
Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
Twitter: @BF_TheFish
AIM: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com or Bryan Fischer
-there’s a four person Final Tribal
-both Jeremy and Kelley play their Hidden Immunity Idols at the same Tribal and nullify all the votes cast
-there’s a tie at Final Tribal and a tie-breaker will be performed live at the Finale Show.
4 Person Final Tribal almost seems necessary now. That or they’re going to have to get rid of 3 people in two hours AND still have final tribal with all the questions. Seems like that’d be very, very rushed.
While interesting to see all votes nullified, all it would do is cause a revote or some other form of tie breaker to occur. I don’t see that worth going on and on about “NEVER BEFORE ON SURVIVOR!” like Probst keeps mentioning.
A tie breaker on the reunion show could be interesting, but honestly, I’d be surprised if it got down to that. I feel there are some very clear winners who will take the majority of the vote unless they make it to the end with the other clear choices. Still plenty of lame ducks outside of Abi (Hello Kimmi and Tasha and Keith [Still like him though]), surely at least one of them will make it to the end. Although come on, if anyone was laughing as much as I and my wife were at Abi talking to the camera about how she needs to pick whom she’s bringing to the end, I almost wish she could get to the end just to hear more delusions of grandeur from her. That stuff was priceless!
Show went about as I expected. Spenser’s best shot is with a final three of Tasha/Keith/Kimmi and himself so doesn’t surprise me that he voted off Abi.
you are starting to embarrass your self and Survivor ! Calling Abi being voted out a blindside is an insult and slap in the face to every person who has watched or played , I wouldn’t call it a blindside if Jeff said only Abi is voting tonight and she voted herself out . She is crazy enough and dumb enough do it . That being said voting Abi out though popular across the land was incredibly stupid ! You carried her this far for a reason wanted her in the final three with you . Stop with the integrity of the game crap . If that was the case her stupid ass should have been off my TV 10 weeks ago . How you let the chance to have her sit in front of a jury with you knowing even an idiot like Rodney wouldn’t vote for her is insanity . I blame Spencer . He had immunity ,. Its simple . Tell Kimmi , Spitting Hillbilly and everyone else I am voting Tasha . You want to guarantee another day you should too ! Speaking of Tasha how the hell do you get picked for Survivor and don’t learn to swim ? That is unbelievable . People come to the show and cant make fire or swim . By definition an island is surrounded by water . Its a free prop for Survivor to put challenges in . The lord himself stocks it with food . Learn how to use it ! I would know how to swim every stroke ever invented . Plus I would be able to start a fire using pubic hair and rice . Its common freaking sense to learn the few simple things that are necessities to live on a damn island !!!!!!!!
OOOOPS beginning of my rant was cut off . I could lie and say I said hello hope everyone is doing great but it would be a lie . I immediately lashed out at Jeff for his idiotic use of the word blindside
Just a few more days. Is everyone getting excited?
thatguy: While I think it’s likely we’re in for a 4 person FT, I’m not sure I’m a fan of it. Perhaps there’s some other “first time ever” thing like the top 2 vote getters are sent home? IDK, I’m sure whatever happens, fans won’t like it. That seems to be the way it works, right?
All votes nullified could be interesting if it nullified, say, 4 votes for Jeremy and 2 for Kelley. Sure, they’d just revote with the same outcome, but you never know. Hell, Probst needs to promote the show any way he can — we’ve seen what he talked up in the past — so I wouldn’t put it past him to make this non-event a huge deal. We’ll see.
So, I’m with you on some kind of tiebreaker at the live show. Who knows, maybe it’s a combination of things and there’s a 4 person final tribal AND a tiebreaker where 3 people all receive 3 votes? Settle it on live TV… I just hope it’s something cool and not some lame attempt at being “cutting edge” or new.
Funny how Jeff is even saying how unaware Abi is of herself and that she didn’t really go through any changes like she intended… Her FT question will most likely be about herself and why she was voted out, rather than what the players did to win the game. Mark my words…
This season has been so different in how voting went you almost can’t apply standard Survivor logic to the past votes. As I wrote, I love that Tash said they “owe it to the fans” to dump Abi, but who knows if that was the right play. You never know until it’s all over, and there are ways to get votes based on FT answers.
Rick! Yeah, I was like, “What’s gotten into Rick this week? He seems pissed off at me…” But then how could you be pissed off at me……….?
Especially when it was your birthday a couple days ago!!! Whoop Whoop! Happy birthday, stud, hope you were given a fancy BBQ by those folks at your work. Good times in Missouri…
Okay, so I get you on the blindside reform talk. I think Jeff is (again) just trying to pump up the drama. TBH, he’s using blindside every time someone goes home and they’re not expecting it, but that’s most every Tribial…ever. Sure, these aren’t traditional blindsides, but he’s doing everything he can to make this THE GREATEST SEASON EVER, and has even said that in interviews. Let’s see how it wraps up next week.
I know what you’re saying about Abi. While I agree in principle (trying to win the game) I’ve always believed annoying people should go home early. That’s why I hoped she was voted out first in my first column this season. Trouble is, the farther she got, the more her stock rises, and finally someone had the balls (Tash) to make it happen. Yeah, it could be called a bad move, but even decisions like that could potentially have an upside with the jury. “Damn, she had the balls to vote out crazy Abi, I’ll give her my vote…” Prolly not, but you never know how the Butterfly Effect changes the game day to day…
I don’t know if she DOESN’T know how to swim, I think she was just really fatigued. Who knows? Maybe we’ll find out more about that at the finale.
Thanks for all your comments this season, Rick, however I don’t think I wanna watch you make fire… Gotta draw a line somewhere!
Enjoy the final episode, I’ll be doing the same from inside the live show…and there’s a good chance I’m going with A VERY SPECIAL GUEST. Stay tuned for that big reveal next week.
Thanks again to everyone for all your comments. You guys make this all the more fun for me.
Fish
A few things, first off Mr. Fish, you probably look way better than Channing! Don’t be so hard on yourself. But please stop threatening us with quitting these recaps. Its cruel. Ok, one thing that’s been bugging me, why does Spencer walk like a duck? Its so odd. Abi-I have hated her all season, her tiny piggy eyes, her mean comments, her manic/depressive personality..but she actually came across as fairly sane and normal in her Ponderosa video. She said she’s a realtor. Can you imagine having her help you buy a house? I can’t imagine her doing well in any type of negotiation. Speaking of goats, Kimmi is a total goat. And Tasha, she is rather a goat too-what happened to her challenge beast self? I grow to hate Savage more and more as I watch the Ponderosa videos. He dresses like he’s a 20 year old at a Pfish concert. Rasta hat, open shirt-he’s just gross and so cocky. I love watching Kass tell him he’s an asshole. Here’s my hope for the Win in order of who I hope gets it. Jeremy, Keith, nuclear warhead accidentally hits the island and they are all fried. IF I must go on from there…Spencer, Wentworth (she is not hot-what is wrong with you!), Kimmi or Tasha at the end. I never watched Feshbach’s first season. Why was he so annoying then? Did he act as odd as he did at the beginning of this one? I actually liked him by the time he was voted out, ok I admit it.
Thanks Fish . The boss is usually nice to me on my birthday . Sometimes even nice on Christmas . She is really really mean around the 4 th of July though . The entire first week of July she calls everyone in the office ungrateful infidels ( must be part British ) . Best of luck getting into the Survivor reunion show . If you are lucky enough to meet RC or coconuts give them a firm hand (or breast ) shake for me !
Katiebeans! You are far too kind. I appreciate the love, but Channing’s got me by a lot. -IF- you’re into that hunky, Hollywood, macho, muscular, studly kinda guy. I’m kinda like Travis Bice (look it up) with a man bod. But, I have boyish good looks for 48, all due to the alcohol pickling all my internal organs…
And, to be fair, I’m not threatening to quit. I’m just being honest with myself (and you guys) about what might be around the corner. I would hate to not be able to write these anymore, and worse, not be able to say goodbye properly. To be perfectly frank about it, to make this column work successfully, there’s a great deal of time that needs to go into it, and time is not something I have a lot of these days. So, it’s either write a quick, shitty column with a couple laughs, or spend a lot of time on it and write a longer, less shitty column, with a few more laughs. Sometimes I stare at my sons as they refill the ice cube trays and wonder if I could be a better father…
Random thoughts…
Spencer – I noticed that too. He’s got skinny legs and walks like a spoon’s in his butt.
Abi – I didn’t hear where she said she’s a realtor. You sure about that? I read that she created an alcoholic drink in a bottle, which makes more sense. She needs to keep guys drunk to date her…
Kimmi – who is she?
Tash – Varner confirmed that everything he said about her is true, so she must be REALLY awful. Now, I don’t know boo about Varner (in real life) but I think we can get a sense of who these people are after seeing them in so many interviews/videos. I used to think Tash was sexy, now it’s just like whoa…
Savage – he strikes me as one of those snobby jerks who just likes to hang out with the same kind of person. I hate those guys… Go vote for Trump.
I like your picks but what the hell is wrong with you? Wentworth is gorgeous. Like a little Scandanavian goddess. I love her…
Fishbach has gotten better, but I think a lot of people suffered from having the “Second Chance” label hung on them. Like everyone had to play into that story arc yet it different fit for everyone. Fishbach, originally, was just a nerdy guy who latched onto a nice guy (JT) and they ran their success to the end. Fortunately for Fishbach, JT was honorable and kept him around, but I think he was also smart enough to know he could beat Fishbach too. I don’t remember if Fishbach ever had an opportunity to take out JT, but maybe that’s what he truly regrets not doing.
Thanks for all your love and support over the years. You’re my favorite reader and I do hope I can continue arguing with you about Keith’s merits… XO
Rick! Take my advice. Keep the boss happy, at all costs. Even if it pisses off other employees. Fuck ’em, they don’t pay you…
I’m a lock for the finale show, and there’s a chance I’ll be attending with that VIP GUEST I mentioned the other day. Don’t wanna jinx it. Maybe if I have an opportunity to Tweet a picture before giving up my phone I will post a photo with him. I’ll let you know what happens either way.
I will endeavor to grab their boobs for you, but that will lead to 3 things:
1. Kicked out of show
2. Arrested for sexual battery
3. Divorce
So, you may wanna request something else…
Thanks for all your comments this season, was fun to see there are fans out there who do Survivor the way I wish I could. You’re the ones this show is made for, and which is why it’s still on after so many years. Guys like me, and other bloggers and social media peeps, may be doing what we can to keep the show fresh, but it’s not made for us. It’s made for you. I’m just glad I can be a fan once in a while…
Take care, happy holidays, and I wish everyone a great finale…
Fish out!
I certainly do not want to get you in trouble . Send them to St Louis all 4 of them if you know what I mean !!!! Actually I am a legs and butt guy but damn those girls and their have some nice eyes (and hooters ) !