Welcome back, Survivor posse! We have a lot to get to tonight so buckle up and take your seats. It’s going to be a bumpy flight… Not only is there a supposedly awesome episode to review (per Jeff Probst) but I owed you the list of the Sh**tiest Survivors of All Time, and I have not disappointed…
But before we get to that, let’s discuss how amazing Gotham is once again. Spoilers and definitely ahead… We finally got to see Nigma figure out how he’ll dispose of Miss Kringle’s body, and were it not for an ill-timed visit by a wayward hunter, Miss Kringle would be old news. But, now Eddie-boy’s got three murders on his hands, needs to increase his meds, and needs to dig a bigger hole. Can’t wait to see how he and the Penguin hook up next week…
And The Walking Dead is back to being good. No more backstory episodes, please. It’s like they forgot to tell us something, or they just didn’t wanna pay all the actors that week. Regardless, Rick’s been a naughty boy, Carl is already fighting with his new stepbrother, and how does Deanna not swallow any walker blood when she’s exfoliating her face with it? Something’s wrong with that picture. And if they don’t tell what’s up with Glenn this week, I’m switching over to FTWD: Flight 462 for my zombie fix…
Enough of that! Rather than waiting til the end of the recap, I wanna present the Sh**tiest List right away. I feel bad it wasn’t posted last week, but as I mentioned, it just wasn’t ready. A lot of thought (and time) goes into these lists, and I don’t want to shortchange my posse…
A lot of things constitute being a sh**ty player on Survivor. It’s not just performing poorly in challenges, it’s not simply being voted out first (Francesca has been spared from this list, btw). It’s not even about being Evac’ed, or blindsided, or unlucky. What makes you a Sh**ty Survivor is simply…that you’re an a**hole, or a b**ch, or a jerk, or whatever word you wanna assign to being a worthless piece of crap on this show (there are a few exceptions). With the 460 people who’ve played Survivor, they really couldn’t find players better than some of these…?
Puh-lease…
Good recap! I’m excited I get to be first in posting a comment. 🙂 The hidden immunity idol being played was epic! One of the best moves I’ve seen on Survivor (I haven’t seen all of the seasons but still….it was damn good!) I wasn’t a Kelley fan before that but I am now! I’m curious to know what happened, that we didn’t see, that led her to believe she was the one everyone would vote for, thus causing her to play the idol? I was kind of thinking Cierra.
The scene with Keith driving that bike thing around was so funny! I was so waiting for someone to fall off or out.
Joe is a friggin’ beast at the challenges! For real, there were about 5 times that he should have lost that challenge but someone the guy comes back every time! Love Joe!
Thanks again for the recaps – I look forward to reading them every Thursday! 🙂
Bonnie
TGIF Folks! Seriously…I need a weekend…or three….and more of this season of Survivor…I think I’m enjoying it more than most of the seasons past.
You once again reaffirmed my faith in your snarky wisdom by including my two must-have’s on your Crappiest players list. Dan and Abi. Dan was the most hurl inducing, completely self-unaware Ahole. Just moronic.
Abi I am embarrassed to say actually earned a point with me this week when she told SP to Suck it up Buttercup. But…She is still the survivor player I’d most like to shiv.
Once again this week SP continues to display his pathological need to rid his island of the Adonis. That desperation is disturbing. If he ever does manage to get rid of Joe…I worry what he will do when he realizes that he is STILL just a skeevy loser.
I cannot believe all of these experienced players decided not to bother splitting the vote. Are you freaking kidding me? I LOVED seeing Wentworth make the decision to throw down the idol. THAT was good television.
Other than losing a possible defender for the golden boy…I wasn’t sad to see Savage get his wish to make Jury. He is not the loyal nice guy he tries to portray…not.at.all.
Enjoyed the recap…great episode…looong wait until next Wednesday.
Fish do you watch Amazing Race? This has been a tough season to find someone to root for. Justin is that show’s Dan Foley. ugh. And…he’s engaged…seriously…why would anyone put up with that sort of asshattery?
-Hathor
Won’t lie, the end of the show last night left a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve no desire to watch Big Brother (where I imagine the contestants constantly flipping each other off and calling each other all sorts of deplorable rubbish imaginable [Guess who started listening to Christmas music]) and that’s what tribal felt like.
Beyond that, Cierra’s mother clearly never slapped her enough as a child. Nobody should be able to roll their eyes like that. Also, Survivor editors, are you out there? I also don’t need to see that creepy eye roll 3 or 4 times. Once was enough.
I can’t believe there wasn’t a splitting of the vote. Seriously shocked. When you have the kind of numbers you do, why not be prepared for a possible hidden immunity idol? Bunch of morons really think that this far into the game not a single idol has been found? Just because everyone’s been smart enough to keep that to themselves doesn’t mean they’re not out there. Bunch of idiots.
Hopefully this isn’t the start of a final 3 of Cierra, Wentworth and Abi. I wouldn’t mind seeing Wentworth pull a victory (especially with that idol play) but the other two being taken along? Horrible. Truly horrible.
Good morning fellow BBQ haters . A few of the sh*^tiest I would add . Gervase , aligning himself with Tyson and Monica ? Because he had a chance to beat them ? I also nominate the entire Hunahpu tribe . How do you run out of food after 14 days !? I am not a fan of Dan but he was just a jack ass . He tried to play I guess . Will was the most useless Survivor ever in my eyes . No social game (except loving him some Rodney ) terrible in Challenges and did nothing at camp . Rodney what a tool . An obvious Jersey Shore reject . On to last episode . I think the alliance was scared that the 3 girls might pull Super Joe , Clueless Keith and Mr Personality Spencer or at least 2 of them to their side . Kelley may have put a huge target her back . Great move playing the idol . Bad move going all Ciera and calling out the “Alliance ” . Shake your butt at Joe and Keith and try and turn them . Do not I repeat do not start running off at the mouth ( women feel free to heed this advice in your daily lives) . That was a joke no hate mail please . Scary that so many bad players are still in the game (sorry Keith you entertain me but ) Abi , Spencer , Kimmi you should not have been voted on and certainly shouldn’t still be playing ! Have a wonderful day everyone !
Holy smokes, folks, what a crazy world we live in, huh? Makes watching a reality show a bit less important. But…we still need our distractions, and I think we’ve got a nice little distraction in Survivor…
Bonnie: Thanks for writing in, and I’m glad you’re enjoying the recaps. Based on what I saw in the episode, it looked like Ciera was doing more of the talking at Tribal, but that could just be the edit. I thought Kelley made the decision to play the idol when Joe told her the Fishbach vote was off. The show wants to keep us guessing, but I’d say that’s when she decided she was gonna drop it. And yeah, Joe’s the man. He’s the kind of guy I like on Survivor. Strong, good looking, social, cool, athletic, all of it. I don’t like bad guys and Fishbachs…
hathor: What up, yo! Thank you for continuing to come back. I’m a little lost about the “suck it up” comment, cause I don’t recall Abi speaking to Fishbach, so can you clarify? And THANK YOU for mentioning Adonis because that’s who I meant all along. I kept typing Apollo but it never seemed right. I will correct that moving forward… I agree about not splitting the vote but from all the post-show interviews and videos I’ve seen, it looks like the group outside the 3 girls couldn’t trust each other to split, and fearing one or two would flip, their split would have sent one of their own home. In Fishbach’s post interview, he said that everyone was 100% sure no idols would be played (because 1, no one ever saw Kelley looking and 2, she evidently sold the fact she was going home pre-Tribal). He mentioned she was just lounging about, looking depressed for a couple hours, and really sold it that she had accepted her fate. Wish we would have seen THAT storyline in the episode! I’m neither here nor there on Savage. He does have a smuggery I don’t like, but at least he’s not annoying to me. I just wish they would have targeted Fishbach instead… Yeah, I do watch TAR (thought of recapping it at one point but decided against it). I’ve watched every season since 15 so I have less experience than others but yeah, that dude gets on my nerves too. There’s something about that New York stereotype that bugs me. Always has. I have friends from New York, and they don’t act like that. Just kind of a buffoon too. Like Dan…
thatguy: I totally get what you mean with the flipping the bird stuff. It just doesn’t belong in society anymore. If you’re pissed at someone, tell them to fuck off, but flipping the bird is lame, especially Kass’s who did it purely for television and not because she’s still pissed. At least Savage did it in response to Abi’s stupid comment. I agree with you on Ciera, I’ve just never been a fan of hers. Don’t know why. Just comes across as someone who complains about everything when it doesn’t go her way, but whatever, I’ll never meet her. And hell ya, they were idiots! Stupid that NO ONE said, “but even if there is an idol, we should have a plan B.” I just wish they’d get rid of Abi, because the longer she stays, the better the chance she’ll be dragged to FT, and none of us wanna hear her try to justify how she deserves to win the game. I just wish once there’s a contestant who says, “I know I was dragged here, so I won’t even bother trying to justify why I deserve to win. I’ll just sound stupid…” My wish for Final 3: Joe, Kelley, Jeremy…game on! But it’ll probably be: Ciera, Kimmi, Wigles, and we’ll all throw up in our mouths a little…
Rick: Welcome back, sir! Thanks for the kind words. A few comments: Gervase, I never really thought of him as an ass, but I see your points. Hunahpu, yes, I should have given them Honorable Mention. And we’re in agreement on all the rest. I just wonder if Kelley’s big move will finally motivate some players to start pulling moves of their own. I see a lot of fracturing the rest of the season. Players will have to compete with what Kelley just did, so I think the game just started… Have a great week!
So, in case you follow me on Twitter (and if you don’t, why not?!) I tweeted a link to an interesting comment from Savage. In it, he said something like, “in the rest of the season, something happens that’s NEVER happened before in the history of Survivor.” I have no idea what that is, but it makes me wonder. Yesterday, I received an email for a reader who had a theory, and I had one of my own. Would love to know what you folks think…
Reader theory: Joe goes on an Immunity string and wins every challenge, guaranteeing him a place in the Final. His theory was based on following Joe on social media, and it seems Joe hasn’t worked since returning from Cambodia so that means he “doesn’t need the money.” Not sure I totally buy that, because Joe doesn’t know if he’s won or not, unless he’s in the Final against Keith and Abi. We’ll see…
My theory, which I suggested a few weeks ago, is what if the show played around with the format and we have a 4 person Final Tribal? There’s a rationale for it since the merged tribe was so large, and since these are “favorites” playing, the show wants us to get our fill. I’m probably wrong, so let’s hear what you guys have to say…
And for the record, every time I think how hot some women are on Survivor, I then realize that they’re unshaven, bug bitten, no teeth brushed, monkeys flying, and pooping in the bushes or the ocean. And it’s almost enough to stifle my chubby. Almost…
I don’t follow you on twitter because I don’t tweet. 😛
Final Four would be very interesting.
Joe going on a win streak wouldn’t really qualify as “something never before seen on Survivor” (OK, yes the length would be new, but the event itself isn’t new.)
Fish…the moment I’m referring to is when they go back to camp after losing the reward challenge. SP is languishing in the shelter and says says something whiney to the effect of “I can’t deal with losing that challenge…I’m having a low moment”…something like that…and Abi comments back “Get over it”. THAT made me laugh…truly. So she earned a point. But that’s one point against literally hundreds of bitch points she has already earned in her two stints on this show.
I don’t do twitter or any of the other stuff…but you will always get support from me here for doing these re-caps! Keep on keepin on.
-Hathor
Stay classy Kass…. Guess she’ll be introducing herself that way at tribal the rest of the season. Disappointing to say the least.