It’s getting colder outside (a parka-inducing 52° in Los Angeles), but things are warming up on TV! It’s Wednesday, it’s Cambodia, and it’s Survivor Second Chance! Let’s see what this Gilligan’s Island group of drama queens is up to this week…
But first, have to humbly take a rain check on the Shittiest Survivors of All Time list. I have the names, but I’m just not happy yet with the blurbs I’ve written. They need a little more time and with the late start I’m getting on tonight’s column, I don’t think I wanna write til 2am…
So what else do we have to look forward to? We know there’s a merge happening (or is there?), we know Kaos Kass is back (for how long?) and we know Savage is thanking the Survivor gods for mixing up the tribes again. How do I know this? I saw the promo video, didn’t you?
And in case you weren’t aware, today (Wednesday) is Jeff Probst’s birthday, so let’s all give a big shout out to the man who’s brought us all this fun, all this drama, all those giant cock memes, and all those beige shirts for 15 years. You’ve hardly aged, Jeff, and I bet no one knows you’re really 68 years old. Keep the Grecian Formula nearby…
I’m jumping right in to the episode tonight, because I can’t wait any longer. A merge with 13 is cray-cray, and it leaves me wondering if we’re heading for a final 3 with a 10 person jury, or a final 4 with 9 (that would be nuts!) or just a regular one (boring!). Never really know how they determine any of that, so let’s not speculate. Let’s just keep fingers crossed it’s a GOOD jury. No more softball questions, Anderson Cooper. No more, “pick a number between 1 and 100.” No more “you guys all played well, I’m gonna sit back and listen to what everyone has to say and then make a decision.”
F**k that…
I wanna see drama. I wanna see snipe. I wanna see Reid, Erik, Corinne, and Brenda levels of vitriol. Show us the best this show can offer, and we’ll keep coming back. And if this cast can’t handle that, than Survivor didn’t do their job when they chose this cast…
Huh? What’s that? The public voted these people in? Oh s**t, that’s not good. America sucks at picking things… I just hope these players can bring it. Can Varner come back and be on the jury, pretty please…?
Whatev. Let’s crack open this coconut!
Jeff reminds us of a few things: Fishbach out of water, Spencer vs. Kass, some other pointless stuff, and how the original Bayon tribe was destined for good things…if they can stick together. But with the reshuffle to 3 tribes, plans went awry. Then, Terry left, which preceded another reshuffle back to 2 tribes, where Bayon came on strong again (Woo-woo!) leaving the least likely duo (Kass and Spencer) working together to ironically blindside…Woo. Now, Savage and Kelly are left unprotected and in trouble. What might save them?
Ta Keo beach (Day 17), the rains are falling, which mask the tears dripping from Savage’s eyes. He’s a little bitter he wasn’t included in last night’s decision, and knows he just went from Burgermeister Meisterburger, to ground beef. But damn those teeth are white!
“F**k them,” is all he can mutter about Kass and the others who conspired to take out Woo. “These are professional liars,” he admits. And The State Bar of California will back him on that…
Savage warily goes to the group and throws himself at their feet, exhorting them to, “Take me to the merge, and then use me,” which is so not like Savage. Be a man! He confesses this approach is not him at all, but whatchagonnado?
Good day Survivor friends ! In my eyes just a so so episode . A few of my observations . I was thinking maybe some kind of Tosh , Cierra alliance that editing has not let us see yet because of a blindside they make later ?????? That’s my only explanation for Cierra voting Savage . I may be wrong but Cierra is more and more looking like someone who would rather lose but beremembered for her big moves than win the damn million . Why else align with Kass ? I really have doubts on if she knows or cares about playing a winning game ! I have been trying to like Spencer but his little jabs at Joes intelligence annoy me . One I played football and if you think memorizing a playbook is easy you are sadly mistaken . Two Joe has so far shown to be a better puzzle solver than you boy genius . Anyone who reads this column and voted in Fishbach should man (or woman) up and apologize immediately !!! No athletic ability ,no personality and no chance to win . He had to set a new all time low for challenge performance ! Honestly other than that nothing stood out to me . I am a bit confused about the idols . No new clues and no one seems to care about where they may be hidden or who may have them . As always enjoyed the column . Signed sincerely the Survivor Club !
http://www.ew.com/article/2015/11/04/survivor-cambodia-second-chance-episode-7 . Homeboy is clueless !
Is it just me or is Survivor getting pretty boring? Why spend so much TV time on a challenge that involves not moving?
Did everyone see Kelley Wentworth grabbing her own butt? I guess she was missing Keith’s firm hand.
The Savage vote confused me, but perhaps the comment above is the answer.
I sure hope the action picks up. All the different turns this year (merges/splits) just seems like too much producer manipulation. Maybe I am just burned out on Survivor.
It was good to see Savage pissed and a little less boy scout and a little more human.
Hoping tonight’s TWD moves a little more than last week’s “On tonight’s special episode of The Walking Dead” after-school special.
Hey folks, thanks for the comments. Thought I should reply before I watch Walking Dead. After that, I’ll be in a different head space…
Rick: why do you hate barbecues?! Oh, never mind. I think the explanation for the whole Ciera thing is that she was just pissed at Andrew. And this is why I’ve never been impressed with her game. She makes it seem like she’s such a big player, but she wastes her vote. I think I read something like she didn’t want to vote Kass because then there might be a tie and she didn’t want to go to revote against Kass. IDK anymore. I just don’t think she’s that great a player. Stop with all the “Ciera makes big moves chatter.”
-I think Spencer’s attitude toward Joe is exactly what a lot of dorks think of “the beautiful people.” Namely, that they’re given the keys to a charmed life which they don’t deserve, and all those “real smart” kids out there are stuck having to work for everything they’ve got. Problem is, some of those beautiful people are pretty smart too, and all this exists in Spencer’s head so he’s revealing more about himself than about Joe. Am I on to something?
-I can’t explain anything about Fishbach. I remember Coach saying he likes him, but why?
-And yeah, what’s up with the hidden immunity idols? Okay, so Kelley’s got one and Jeremy’s got one, but does that mean none are hidden at camps this season? Did Angkor have one hidden? Seasons past contestants could find them without a clue, so why didn’t Angkor go nuts finding one. I’m confused…
-And yes, I’m not a big fan of Dalton. I wish I got his paycheck, but whatevs…
-Thank you and stay tuned for my Shittiest Survivor Players list reveal on Thursday. Good stuff in there!
Doc: I had to go back and find it. And yes, I did. Love when a pretty girl has an itchy butt. Good stuff. And I see what you mean about boring. Maybe because they’re all seasoned players there isn’t a lot of bullshit drama (like last season). These players are too savvy to get involved with that stuff. But, these players know about trying to maximize their own airtime (like Abi) so I know that’s why they/she does some of that stuff. Let’s hope the final few episodes bring about some prime drama…
Erica: Totally know what you mean. Makes me wonder what the cast thinks when they read the script and say, “WTF, I’m not in this episode and it doesn’t move the story along!” Sure, we found out about Morgan, and sure, Lynch will probably win an Emmy for that role, but we wanna see some Rick/Glenn/Carl getting a haircut shizz…
Hopefully, tonight’s episode will provide some insight.
XO
Fish