Savage is stoked they’re on a “winning streak” (of 1) but you gotta start somewhere, Boo. Woo goes on to tell the tribe about his mother’s coronary issues and the transplant she received and how her Second Change inspired Woo on his Second Chance, but Abi just views this as a sympathy ploy to sway emotion. She goes to Tash and confesses that “she lost people too,” and she got a tendon transplant in her knee, so why isn’t she getting any sympathy!? She’s feeling that Woo is playing hard, and she doesn’t like anyone playing hard. Maybe she hasn’t realized that people on Survivor (and in life) make decisions on their own, and don’t always consider how Abi will accept their choices. And once again, we’re reminded of how shi**y a person Abi is, and why the f**k is a bi*ch like this on my television? It’s not like we’re enjoying her this season, so who the f**k voted her on? I bet it was the Republicans…
Tash is getting frustrated by Abi’s insanity, and is wondering if she’ll have the strength to continue working with ThunderBi*ch the rest of the season. We’ll see…
A massive Immunity Challenge is next and it looks very familiar. Oh yeah, we saw it last season. Joe’s tribe lost, but the No Collar tribe lost everything. With Deitz and Kass playing, Ciera and Wentworth will sit out (again, Ciera?!). On Bayon, it’s Jeremy and Monica sitting out (really, you want Spencer to launch sandbags and not Jeremy?). Whatev….
Joe, Spencer and Savage head out first and they hit targets in this order: Joe, Spencer, Savage.
Next, it’s Keith, Wigles and Woo: Wigles and Woo are doing okay, and Keith is clueless. Speaking of clueless, Fishbach goes next and actually hits a target on his first shot…for Angkor! What a maroon. What an ignoramus…
Keith finally hits and then Tash hits her first shot for Angkor, who are now in the lead. With one target left, Abi launches, and almost hits one of Bayon’s targets, so she quickly subs out and Woo heads up to the launching area. After a failed launch, he fires a dramatic slo-motion shot…and hits! Angkor wins Immunity.
After some failed attempts by Kimmi, and Kass, Spencer hits, Wigles climbs up again, Joe shoots again, and hits! and then Keith races up the tower. It’s Ta Keo 4 and Bayon 3, so the challenge is still up in the air. With a couple shots to gauge his distances, Keith figures out the muzzle velocity and launches a potential game winner. And hits, sending Bayon to Tribal. And with the cheesy line of the episode, we hear Deitz call out…
“Better to be a hammer than the nail. You know it, brochacho…!”
And damn it, I love that Brochacho thing. Can we start a Twitter thing? Do I have to do this all by myself!?
With Immunity idols handed out, the winning tribes head out. Probst mentions to Bayon that most of them haven’t even been to Tribal yet, so he asks Monica what this’ll mean. She suggests it’ll make the tribe stronger because it’ll flesh out where people’s alliances lie, but I think that’s bulls**t. It’ll weaken the tribe because they’ll lose either Spencer or Stephen, who are probably more valuable to this tribe than Kimmi, Kelly or (dare I say it) Monica is. We’ll see. Let the scrambling begin…
Upon returning to camp, Spencer and Kelly head out to do something (fish? water? poop? IDK…) leaving the original Bayon to chat. Jeremy polls Monica and Fishbach about their positions and both say to get rid of Kelly.
Spencer knows he has to check in with the others – a lot – so he asks Jeremy and Fishbach about their plan, and they both say Kelly. Spencer knows he needs to keep checking in with people, but he realizes if he does it too much, it could sign his death knell. He needs to play it cool (unheard of for a robot) and just hope that he sticks around…
Monica and Kimmi head off, and while the easy decision should be “Spencer or Kelly,” Monica is still considering an all-girl alliance down the road, which sets Kimmi off. She gives Monica the “stick to the plan” speech, and then takes off so she can have a convo with Jeremy and Fishbach. She tracks them down and gives them the skinny of what Monica is scheming to do, and whether the 2 guys’ reactions are legitimate or not, they give the impression Monica could be in the firing line, since she could be grabbing Spencer and Kelly right now and aligning against Jeremy or Fishbach.
Well, then, why the f**k are you leaving the 3 of them alone right now, dumbs**ts!?
Jeremy and Stephen share one more conversation and essentially discuss that taking out a Bayon now would set a bad precedent for when the tribes merge and Bayon is reunited. Perhaps keeping Monica now is the better choice. And while the tribe heads off to Tribal, Fishbach confesses it’s either Wigles or Monica going home tonight, since both are liabilities.
I knew I would not be the only one to see it ! I had faith in ya Fish . That was a deliberate butt grab . Keith you sneaky bastard . We watch the show and read your column every week here at the office and everyone said I was crazy . I knew there was a blatant butt grab (don’t blame him though ) . I needed that I was wondering if the producers and cast had forgotten that we all like a little T & A . RC was my favorite sad she decided not to try and get on this season . Also a big fan of coconuts (her stupidity and shallowness are a bit of a turn off ) she had an outstanding well you know . Big fan love the column !
The show isn’t Christian Science Monitor as long as we got Joe around in his loose undies, who BTW, is the Syndergaard/deGrom of Survivor in looks and skillz.
Woo better not turn his back on Abi or she’ll go all TWD blonde mom on his ass with those scissors – which I wish she would have taken a whack at Carl with those – hair or otherwise, I don’t care. ( I appreciated the SO last week.)
Good luck at the reunion – nothing like some 40-something women at an open bar, except 40-something has been bloated jocks. Just sayin’
Won’t lie, I was thrilled to see Monica get the boot. Boring chick was boring (and I voted for Abi because the show NEEDS drama, if it was 18 Woos, it’d be the worst season of Survivor we could possibly imagine because everyone’s “100% loyal, 99% good guy” You need someone who’s mouthy. Someone to shake the boat. Someone for people to struggle with.
I’m not sure what my thoughts are on TWD’s episode. Morgan is a wuss. He’s trying to drag Carol to Wusstown, and oh yea, the Wolves are here and beyond bat guano crazy. It felt like there was very little story to be had, just tons of violence for little to no reason.
Wiggles and Woo sounds like a kids movie. Be careful at your reunion, when I went to my 30th a lot of people were trying to take a trip down high school sex memory lane and there were a lot of 40 year old white women doing some crazy sh!t.
So sad to see Monica and her butt gone. I do now know why were heard so little from her, yikes, not the brightest.
I loved Keith’s butt grab, I just saw the hand go there and had to rewind to see who’s hand.
Abi can’t be real can she? Upset that Woo mentioned his mother’s heart transplant? Is she that stupid?
Darn I should have gone to my 30th. But then again reliving my HS sex, would have been a solo endeavor.
So you’re saying you’d be looking for some additional hands on experience thedoctor?
Hi Fish – I, too, saw the butt grab by sneaky Keith, however I didn’t realize it was him until reading your recap. I guess we’ve gotta give him credit for seizing the moment … in front of the camera.
And yes, I’ll totally back you up on Joe … what a beautiful creature he is – almost too pretty, but not quite. Ugh, Abi … week after week of crazy coming out of her mouth; and she certainly didn’t feel an ounce of sorrow for Woo – more like, ‘how can I direct the attention back to ME? oh yeah, I had a tendon blahblahblah’
I actually like the robot and find myself not wanting him to go home – I think he’s becoming less and less of a robot each week – he’s like a little boy trying to hang with the adults.
Good luck at your 30th – and by that I mean steering clear of the 40+-year-old white women who’ve been at the open bar too long …
Until next week brochacho … ; ) XO
Brochacho, haven’t you learned by now that most of the hot chicks get sent home early?!? I’ve noticed this since i first started watching Survivor and is part of the reason I would never want to be on the show. Come on, if I’m not going to be able to eat for 39 days (let’s be honest, I’m making it all 39 days) or sleep, I’m going to need something to stare at the entire time…I think the only time the prettiest girl on the season made it the furthest was when Parvati played.
The Keith butt grab was the highlight of the episode, but on the low, people may have missed Jeremy with the thigh grab on Monica. I’m sure she needed some support standing on that barrel, but ol’ boy had a huge chunk of her thigh in his hand.
Thanks, guys, for all your love. Glad you’re all amused by the same things I am…
rick- love you guys! how fun to make it an office “thang.” I saw a tweet from Kelley that said she told Keith to shove her into the barrel if she was moving too slowly so I guess he was glad when she moved too slow. I think he’s getting some backlash in social media for the grab, but who cares, he touched the “magic butt.” And yes, RC, despite that laugh, is still on my list of sexy Survivors simply because of that chest. Damn… And Coconuts, you just made me remember some goooood thoughts… Keep reading, wish I could watch with you folks!
erica- He’s one of those rare specimens that can just look good whenever. Some dude’s have it, some don’t. And I see he was a great athlete too (high school state championship in basketball) so he’s got THAT on all of us too. That guys drips fortune…
Abi is getting all sorts of trashed on social media for her — being Abi. Let’s see if ANY of this sinks in. Prolly won’t…
TBH, I won’t even go to the reunion now. It’s like $125 bucks to hang out with fat people I don’t like/don’t know/won’t remember me. Thanks, I’ll buy a bottle of $8 Burnett’s and try to get busy with the wife. Prolly won’t…
thatguy- I know what you’re saying but I just hate that she chooses to be a bitch. You can play strong, like Boston Rob, and be social, and be a leader, AND confess that you’ll stab everyone in the back when the time comes. He wasn’t boring because he didn’t start crap with everyone, and it made for good seasons because we wanted to see him win. IDK, I don’t need angels, but I don’t want devils either…
Yeah, TWD was sinister last week. Strangely so. We’ve seen brutal (Bob’s foot) but this was just Game of Thronesy…
susie- Don’t need to worry about it now, but it’s not like I’d have to. I’ve seen the girls/women attending the reunion and they’re looking pretty brutal. My wife is hot so I’m not tempted, I just need to remember how to turn her on…
doc- True, she wasn’t showing brilliance, but I’d rather see a girl talking trashy and dumb than a smart boor. Kim and Sophie were not great winners, to me, cuz they weren’t dirty enough. Just gimme some more Parvati trashiness or Amanda allure and I’ll be good.
Yeah, high school sex and me did not mix well either… Shhh, don’t tell anyone…
thatguy- Not sure your “hands on” comment was about the butt grab or his HS sex admission. I’ll leave it alone…
jlb- Hi toots! I just love that he was so “in the moment” he didn’t care a camera would catch him doing that. Even I know not to touch another woman’s butt in public, but he just went for it. Good for him…
Good for you, with Joe. Hope you can have dirty nasty thoughts about him with the aid of your DVR…
Abi is so yuck. You’re exactly right. As soon as someone says something for sympathy, she immediately has to scream, “Where’s MY sympathy?!” Fucking Veruca Salt…
Spencer is so…Spencer. I think I’m just so damn jealous that he gets to play the game instead of me. I was made for this game but it’ll never happen. This column is the closest I’ll ever get. Boo-hoo for me, it’s all about me… (that was MY Abi moment…).
TBH, it’s pretty easy for me to steer clear of the 40-something white women. Now, if there were a bunch of 40-something Asian women, things could get interesting… Meow!
Scotty!- Yes, and isn’t it awful!? What the hell is wrong with these players. That’s exactly why the show needs to put on more hotter women so you can’t eliminate them all. We’d be “stuck” with hot women, wearing next to nothing, with the pounds falling off of them. What a glorious show that would be…
I’ll be honest, I never really thought Parvati was all that hot, something about her mouth… But her whoring made up for it.
Damn, missed the Jeremy grab. Will definitely go back and review. I think I’m all in on Wentworth now. She’s definitely the hottest, and just a perfect specimen. And she can talk dirty too. I may need to put her on the HoneyDo list… “Honey, I’d like to do her…”
BTW, one of my readers thought it’d be interesting to have a season of “Survivor meets Naked & Afraid.” What do you guys think? Would need to air on a different channel, but it would be great if they could get some former Survivor players to compete. Do you think Coconuts would do it…?
Hey Fishy, I’m probably replying too late since I just got to watch the show last night. I felt so bad for you when Monica left. I know a little part of you (snarky comment) shriveled up and died….sorry, just kidding. I too saw the butt grab. It was more like a butt shove if we want to be accurate but yes, a bit handsy. Though, in those moments when they are hurrying, I’d probably cop a feel on Keith if it meant some real food. Every time Kimmie comes on in her swim suit my 11 year old Jack makes barf sounds. He said “look at the rolls!” It made me suck in my stomach and put down the mini box of junior mints I bought to give the trick or treaters. Yes, Joe is cute when he has his locks flowing but then when the man bun is done up, I am totally grossed out again (and by the saggy underpants-EW). There are no really hot guys. Actually, I think Boston Rob is a cutie so I wish he was back. BTW, when I mentioned the woman from Gotham and “Brody”, Brody is the main character from Homelands first few seasons. She played his wife. Who do you find the most annoying on TAR? And hey, give us 40 something white women some credit. We can get a bit frisky after a few too many Coors Lights, but hey, don’t rule us out!
Hey Kate, a little late to the party! Welcome aboard…
Yes, “little Fish” was disappointed, but as we all know, there are always more “fish in the sea.” Hope that means you’ll start reading another blog but for now…I’m “all-in” on Wentworth (I wish)…
You go enjoy those Keith fantasies. Just don’t surprised when he tells you he’s “a spitter.”
And if you don’t like Joe you’re so gay…
Never did Homeland but I heard it’s goooood. Maybe I’ll download the series someday, along with Lost, Breaking Bad, and House of Cards.
On TAR, the Alabama ladyboy and his mom bug me. They just seem like such stereotypes. I don’t mind a gay man, but don’t be “that” gay man. And she’s annoying as fuck. Can’t put that any other way…
Trust me, I won’t rule out the effects of alcohol on women. That may be my only “go-to” someday, so that’s why I’m taking that online bartending class…
Stay tuned for Wednesday’s column. I’ll give you a hint — since it’s just us talking here — I’m gonna give you my list of Shittiest Survivors of All Time. Get ready…
XO
Fish
You’ve never watched Breaking Bad?!
I… I don’t have the words. If you find free time I’d 100% put that at the top of your list.
Homeland was great the first season or two. Hasn’t been as good since (To be fair, pretty much anything after that first season was going to be worse, sadly they set the bar WAY too high).
thatguy – hope it’s not too late to respond…
True. Haven’t done Walter White. No even sure who he is. That show came out when I was waist deep in watching reality TV and nothing else. Sorry! I know…it’s good. EVERYONE has told me that. Just need to find a month free so I can watch them all. Someday…
Just — ahem — “acquired” the premiere of Homeland. I’ll watch it for 2 reasons only..
1. it could be something I really like.
2. Morena Bacarin’s boobs
However, with that hairdo they gave her, the boobs better be good. Stay tuned…