Heading to Tribal, Varner limps in and has to explain why he’s walking with a stick. I believe he borrowed that from Kung Fu Woo, but they seem to not wanna talk about that. Probst asks Woo if the limp makes Varner an easy target and he spills the beans that it’s him or Varner tonight. That’s the general consensus so now it’s just “which one is it?” Abi mentions Varner’s loyalty to her, but they wanna win challenges, which Woo claims he can do. Savage states they must also look to the future and a merge and who would be a bigger adversary, and that’s Woo. So, it looks like Ralph Macchio is going home tonight…
Varner then makes his pitch to everyone why he should stay and it sounds all pretty good. Woo just looks like Keanu when he can’t figure out how to open the zip-lock bag his weed is in. Why doesn’t Woo speak up!? Abi continues to mention she doesn’t know what she’s doing tonight, so I’m wondering if there’s any hope for Woo sticking around. And…I’m wondering why someone doesn’t stand up and take a torch and beat Abi over the head with it?
Or at least, stand up and say, “Why don’t we all just vote for Abi and be 4 strong!?”
Oh, well, a Fish can dream can’t he…?
No such luck. Tash offers she’s weighing physical strength vs. loyalty, which finally gets Woo to speak up and say he has both, and while Varner may be loyal now, he’s got ties to many other players – and now would be a good time to mention his faux pas at the challenge the other day, Woo – but Varner contends he’s been loyal to this tribe and that should be enough.
And then Woo promises to stay loyal. So I guess we should all just pack our things and go home cuz Woo is making promises now! Let’s just vote…
Varner
Woo
Varner
Varner
Boom goes the pinkie toe! And if I may recall what I predicted on Week 1,
“Jeff Varner – The only other video I saw showed Varner, and how well he connected with a few on his tribe. I think that’ll bode well for him, until he tries to play too hard and gets taken out via blindside. Prediction: Jury”
Okay, I was wrong about Jury, but I was right about a blindside. And I wasn’t privy to the pinkie toe injury so I’m going to say I was pretty close…
Next week on Survivor…
Lot’s of drama and a Final 5 alliance may be springing up on Ta Keo. It looks like Keith may be the odd one out, but let’s see how everything plays out. We got a lot of episodes to go. Kimmi also seems pissed about something – maybe it’s the fact that Probst never seems to talk to her AT ALL – maybe it’s something else. In Varner’s final words, he speaks of being able to move on with something in his life, so let’s hope that that’s what he’s doing now. Always good to see someone doing BETTER after having been on a reality show.
Alrighty then, looks like the only other things to discuss are how the Dodgers will be facing a game 5, at home, with the best pitcher in baseball this year. Only trouble is, they gotta face a guy who can throw 100mph. Ouch. I remember playing baseball as a kid and how much it hurt to hit a ball sometimes. I can’t imagine what it’s like to do it against Jacob DeGrom, using a wooden bat. ¡Mucha suerte, Doyers!
Gotham was good again. Are you watching!? Finally, Mr. Nigma got some off Kringle! Isn’t she a dirty girl? Naughty, naughty… Wonder where that character is going? And there are just so many other story lines I can’t even… Check it out!
And finally…the return of The Walking Dead. OMFG. Thousands of walkers, the dude from That Thing You Do! wants to kill Rick, and Carl is nowhere to be heard. Fine with me.
I love how one of my readers hates Carl as much as I do (props to Erica!). I suggested just getting another British actor to play Carl from now on (Dinklage?), or just make him f**k up and become a walker. Wouldn’t lose anything. I’ve heard it helps to know how to act when you get on a series. They should have thought of that when he was cast oh so long ago. Oh well. Maybe Little Ass Kicker will become a thespian in season 10… One can only hope.
And who the hell is sounding that horn to attract all the walkers?! That wouldn’t be something idiot Father Gabriel would do, would it? Hmmm…sounds like an effed-up move by the good Reverend… We’ll find out on Sunday. Until next week…
Keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars… (Casey Kasem’s advice to walkers, I would guess).
As always, would love to hear from you, good or bad (I’ve received both lately…). And remember, your Twitter love is much appreciated.
With icecubes tinkling…
Fish
Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
Twitter: @BF_TheFish
AIM: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com or Bryan Fischer
I’m really hoping to see the end of Abi soon. She’s incredibly annoying and the only way she makes it to the end is as the sacrificial “LOL do you guys hate me enough to actually give HER the million dollars?” player… Not my favorite type.
As far as TWD, I can’t imagine Father Gabriel would try to sabotage Rick’s plans, and even if he did, (as confusing as that mess of an episode was) he thought the plan that day was to just do a dry run and take out any obstacles/problems with the actual plan going off the day after. I’m guessing from the Talking Dead sneak peak, it looks like Enid or Erid or whatever Coral’s girlfriend’s name is offed herself and landed on the horn in that car she got into. No clue what “SSJ” or “JSS” is on the windshield.
I rewatched the show afterwards, fast forwarding through the color scenes to watch all the black and white scenes, then restarted and watched all the color scenes, skipping the black and white. Makes infinitely more sense and would have been a far better episode that way in my opinion. Having a weird time jump that’s not even 24 hours seems like a waste. Could have just been a fluent episode but whatever, still a better episode than most of the stuff last season which is a huge plus in my book and INFINITELY better than Fear The Walking Dead.
Hi Fish! I missed last week’s recap so I got double the laughs today, e.g., Spencer’s talk with Jeremy about robot love and having to go recharge – hilarious. Your recaps are always entertaining but I’m thinking the alcohol makes them even more so. For last night’s episode, why on earth did they send the three oldest guys out to do the most physical challenge? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not young and I very much appreciate the eye candy that Dietz, Savage and Jeremy are, but I would have thought the younger guys would have been the prime candidates for such a grueling event. Especially when Savage looked like he was really hurting afterwards. Also, you were so right when NO ONE was surprised about Pei Gee getting voted out – not even a blink of an eye! Glad Varner is gone – he was definitely a pot stirrer and could not be trusted … although he did have some charm about him that could be persuasive in a weak moment. Great job on the recaps, love your writing … and YOU!
Hi Fish,
I just keep finding Survivor really boring. I hope it gets more exciting, and I’m usually the one who loves the all star type seasons. Again-NOT ENOUGH KEITH (I know how much you hate that!) What has happened to Woo? He had so much personality on his first season? Now he just sits there with his mouth open all the time, looking stunned, and he isn’t even very physical. Maybe he needs a man bun? My son Jack’s new name for Dietz is “meats” since Jack said “he’s fat.” And you would be proud bc when they showed Monica and Spencer talking jack said “look at her butt” and did that 11 year old boy giggle. You two would be buddies! Best line of the night was Varner saying “you little bitch” to Abby after he got voted off. Yep. I can’t stand the way Abbi thinks she’s in control right now. Its so annoying and how when Woo tells the tribe thank you for keeping him, she smugly says “you’re welcome.” Oh, it almost makes me want to scream. She is just a nasty person. Despite how much Vaner enjoyed eating Savage’s sausage-yes, I said that-it didn’t help the poor tribe win where it counts. so much for calories! I don’t watch Gotham but I did see that Brody’s wife has moved on to getting herself knocked up by her costars. To me, she will always be Brody’s wife. Can you explain Kimmie to me? Who is she? I must have missed that season but why would she be a fan favorite? What happened to the medical evac?
I for one will be happier to finally see a tribe other than the “slumming it” tribe go to Tribal Council. Just so we can see more interaction between those groups…and more of Joe’s fabulous man bun. I was VERY surprised his tribe did not choose him for the challenge. He didn’t put himself forward either …which means he may realize being a *Superstah* isn’t the wisest move this time.
I cannot believe someone hasn’t shivved Abbi yet.
Enjoying the recaps!
-Hathor
Abi’s the worst because she thinks she’s going to change or is changing and is just the same. Be better if she’d just own her crap.
Yes, Monica can talk and we got to see a bit of T and A. Last week’s butt shots were so sweet. Like everyone else can we please focus on something other than Abi. The other tribes get so little air time.
Just how far is the loser’s camp from where the challenge was? They did get back until it was pitch black. Plus why are they still being staved to death, yes they won some sausage, but that is all they have had to eat. Survivor should not be randomly stacking the deck against a certain tribe.
Sort of bored so far, but that is due to the focus only being on the losers.
Thanks for the comments, folks! I love your involvement…
thatguy- Yes! And I hate the farther those kinds of players go (like s**thead last season) the more the other players suddenly realize they have to be taken to
FT so it increases their own chances of winning. Like I’ve said before, it sucks that they get paid for playing like assholes and have no chance to win, but
that’s why the other players should stand up and make a statement. “No more assholes at FT!” Plus, the fact she’s such a delusional bitch makes it unbearable to
watch every week. My whole problem with all the coverage she’s getting, is that it may mean she makes it DEEP in the game, since they essentially know who’s
going to FT when they start editing the episodes (that may not be the case this season, considering how little turnaround they had between shooting/airing, but
there’s always time to make episodes better. I think footage of other players: Monica, Kimmi, Keith, Kelley, Kelly, would be nice, since it’s almost like
they’re not playing at all…
I don’t watch Talking Dead, so I don’t know Enid or JSS or any of that. I guess we’ll find out in 2 days! Let’s hope we’ll get back to “normal” TWD episodes,
now that the premiere is done…
jlberry- Missed you, baby! Yes, the alcohol does allow me to “open up” a bit, however, it seems to affect my proofreading (Deitz, not Dietz). However, I’m glad
you’re back and having a good read… I guess Joe felt he didn’t wanna put himself out there too much, but I also read somewhere in a Varner exit interview
that the tribes thought there may be another part to the challenge, so they wanted to save Joe. Who knows what to believe? I guess the other players didn’t
think Peih-Gee deserved to be there, but again, who knows what she was like over there. I thought Varner was gold for as long as he was there. After his
initial, “I’m in over my head,” in episode 1, he really became the comic relief. And if you don’t follow me on Twitter, try to find the article I referenced on
there where Jeff totally rips Savage, and especially Tash, for a variety of things. Calls her a bitch, outright, and why he’s not surprised she’s a “40 year
old, single, childless” woman.” Scathing stuff… Read that…
Love ya, jlb…! XO
kinb- I know what you’re saying, chica. I’m not “bored,” per se, but these aren’t the exciting episodes we were expecting. Everything’s really “individual”
still, if you know what I mean, even though there are alliances. We’ll see what the rest of the season holds. I wish I could watch Survivor with you guys. With
anybody, for that matter… It’s something I’ve never done but I think it would be a lot of fun. And Jack can be the bartender! Abi = Satan. Not sure who
“Brody” is, but I think you’re talking about Morena Baccarin (she is so fine!). Kimmi was a loud-mouth (sort of) back when the Survivor mold was still being
formed. She’s famous for standing up to Alicia, who was just an Olympic goddess fitness-wise. I think a lot of America identified with the “girl next door,”
Kimmi, standing up to the feisty warrior. TBH, she wasn’t THAT memorable back then, and it was a surprise to me she was voted on to Second Chance. (I was just joking about Medical Evac!)
hathor- As I mentioned earlier, I wanna see some other people, too! Enough with Abi/Varner/PG/Woo. Gimme some Monica, gimme some Joe, gimme some Wentworth. Maybe they’re holding some people back for later on, or…maybe these folks are just kinda boring… I think Joe said in his Intro video that he doesn’t wanna be the Hero as much, since that made him a target last season. Hell, he saved his energy and look what it got him. I’m tempted to shiv her, myself… Thanks for the support and kind words. Miss you!
EJ- Hope you liked the shout out! Damn those Bums! Nice play on that shift, huh? And couldn’t Ethier just NOT catch that foul? That run was the difference… And yeah, Abi is the anti-christ. I just wish she’d go away…
doc- I know you appreciated Monicabutt! Can’t wait for the “rest of the season” to happen, there’s still so much to occur. I would love to know how the show justifies one tribe being treated so unfairly. It can’t just be, “that’s the roll of the dice.” It’s really unfair. And yeah, like I said to kinb earlier, the season is a little boring because these players are trying to win rather than trying to “make a name” in reality TV. Most have been in the relative spotlight for a while now, so the urgency isn’t to make big dumb statements (like Dickhead Dan last season). Funny how some of these people just fade away… And I just wonder how this season’s excellerated editorial schedule affected the quality of the episodes. Kinda like, typically they have 7 weeks to make a show and this time they only had 4 (or something like that). Not sure that’s altogether accurate, but it just makes me wonder.
Thanks to everyone for your comments and support. I really hope you all are enjoying the reads, and I’ll continue to try and find the humor in the absurb. All my fishy kisses to you…
Fish