And here we go to the challenge. Yes, it’s from Borneo and it looks like it’ll take a lot of effort. Kelly should remember it, she was there, but that doesn’t matter. It’s a lifetime ago. Let’s get to it…
The challenge runs neck and neck for awhile, until Keith absent-mindedly drops his torch into the water and extinguishes the flame. That loses valuable time as Ta Keo builds a lead and places their raft on the stands first. As Kelly goes to build the stick that she’ll use to grab a key, Wentworth is stuck trying to figure out how to grab the hidden idol without anyone noticing. She may have to forego the opportunity…
With Bayon finally arriving, Joe undertakes the “pole building” task, and I’m sure you guys can make your own joke there. With Ciera offering the advice to “get it right the first time,” Wentworth continues to plot her move.
Wiglesworth is gonna try her pole first, but it’s not nearly long enough. That gives Joe the chance to try his out, and while it’s long enough, it may not be strong enough. Kelly is ready to try again, and both are close to getting their keys. In the meantime, Wentworth finally takes a shot and grabs the idol, unseen by the others, and thankfully it comes out quickly. She’s able to stick it in her shorts. Meow.
With Joe’s long, erect pole, he’s able to retrieve their key and complete the challenge, sealing the victory for Bayon. Tortoise and the Hare, baby. Sometimes it’s good to be the tortoise… (Fishbach agrees)
With that, Bayon takes their spoils, heads off, and Probst then springs the next twist on Ta Keo.
“We’re going to Tribal right now.”
And the shock is evident, since no one expected to go to Tribal without another few hours of scrambling and lying. Off to Tribal we go, and it’s discussed how the difference between “old school” and “new school” Survivor is played. Woo spills the beans on that, to which Terry Dietz reveals to Jeff just how quickly the game gets underway now. JP asks Peih-Gee about what Second Chance means for them, and she replies that embracing the nature of getting a Second Chance at Survivor is what it’s all about.
JP asks a few questions about where the tribe’s head is at, but it’s evident from everyone’s responses that lines are drawn. Abi decides to call out that it may be a “male thing” that’s going on, but Vytas is quick to squash that theory. He’s all about Tribe Unity and I hope that means Abi. It’s on like Donkey Kong. And with one final discussion of Varner’s balls, we’re ready to get to the vote.
With two votes revealed for both Abi and Vytas, looks like we’re in for some shocked reactions. Jeff reads the votes:
Vytas
Abi
Vytas
Abi
Vytas
Abi
Vytas
Abi
Vytas
Vytas
Wow. Looks like someone’s taking their Downward Facing Dog to the pound… See what happens when you stick your junk in everyone’s face?
He views it as a compliment, and his positive vibes will keep him happy, but it’s just the same old s**t – you don’t vote out someone strong for the first few votes because you just made your tribe weaker. So dumb. I thought these folks would know that. I guess not.
The tease of next week reveals that bitchy Abi is back (cheetah’s can never change their spots) and Varner is ready to play the game now. Whatever that means. I just think this tribe is in trouble already… Too bad.
Not much else to say, I guess. We’ll have a longer chat next week when it’s a 60-minutes episode. I promise I’ll have more to say then…
Missed you guys and girls. Please follow/tweet/comment/email, whatevs! It’s why I do this…
Until next week,
Fish
Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
Twitter: @BF_TheFish
AIM: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com or Bryan Fischer
Yaaa, I get to be your very first poster of the season! Back with my favorite Mr. Fish. As I said last season, you know I can’t quit you. Speaking of which, loved all the comments about Joe’s long erect pole. Nice one! (I actually don’t get all the heavy breathing about Joe, I don’t think he’s that hot, oh well) I am so excited about this season. You know my feelings were hurt that you were making fun of Keith. Fishy, you know I love all the weird losers. Are you still bitter about Mike winning last season. We had our first big fight about that. (sniff). But just to keep it spicy between us, here’s my take on the contestants. Wiggles worth, nothing actually wiggles on her face since she’s had waaaaay too much botox. Yuck. Still love Woo, mostly because my 10 year old son loves him. Jack also loves Jeremy. He always roots for the alpha male. We hate Abi, she has a mean piggy face. So far Kass doesn’t bug me. Spencer is already wound way too tight. Tasha is ok, a bit cocky I think this time. I have no clue who Kimmie or Monica are, I missed some seasons for a while. Pi Gi is just kinda blah, just like she was in China (Jack really wishes they’d late James the grave digger come back.) Ciara bugs me, just like when she played with her mom. I also never saw Fishbach’s season. Isn’t he a big time blogger? What’s his deal…. I think you hit the nail on the head about Kelly W. She’ll be kept around a while out of respect but she seems like all the botox fried her brain and she’s in a perm-a daze. I agree, totally dumb to get rid of Vytas though I was about to barf when he kept bending over and showing his backwards bulge. Even Jack yelled out “EWWWWW” Hopefully Shirin won’t get naked again. I still can’t quite put my finger on what type of rodent she looks like? Ok, enough for now. So glad you are back. You ROCK! (and are a much better blogger than Fish-bleck)
Apparently, you weren’t thinking of us when you made that promise to your dearly beloved; however, I did have a moment of silence for your lost seat last year added with a big dash of hope that all your seat dreams come true this year. You’re welcome.
I came to the site today with fingers crossed that you would be back to re-cap once again. YAY!!! Awesome. I need my weekly dose of snark and boob/junk jokes!
I was struck by how the years have taken their toll on some of the Old School players. Ah well…happens to all of us. Likely they will find this to be a great diet plan once again. (If they last that long)
Abi…ugh…can she be the one that gets eaten by a crocodile or something please? She is just the worst! Who voted for her? I call shennanigans…I think producers put her there to up the drama level.
Happy happy happy to see that you are back. Tell your wife we appreciate her sacrifice of your time…don’t skimp on the re-caps!
Hey Hey Hey, it’s Fat Albert! Actually, it’s Fat Survivor as I’m shocked at how how of shape these people are. And I don’t mean the guys. C’mon ladies, you know you could be voted on, at least TRY to hit the gym before you fly to Cambodia! Thank God we have Kelley and Monica to lust over, right?
Sorry, had to vent. Just sickened at how that aspect is not to my liking.
Welcome back, kids! I’m back (by the hair of my chinny chin chin) and I’m fired up this season. I was pumped writing the column the other night, however I do feel like I shortchanged you. As I mentioned, I need to keep the recaps shorter, and since it was the first episode, and 90 minutes long, I still wrote a lot, but I’m not happy with what I turned it. I’ll try harder next week!
Kinb! You know I could never leave you. You are my first, my last, my everything. Missed ya, momma! Not sure what to say about Joe without sounding gayer than I already have. Let’s just say I get why women like him. But only for a weekend and then they come back to reality. Good enough for Joe, I bet…
-I can’t understand why you like Keith. Do you like fishing, too? And pickup trucks? And your cousin? Shirley, I jest..
-I’m fine with Mike, now that the season’s over. As I mentioned, he produced one of the most dominant seasons EVER, but that’s kinda like saying he won gold at the Special Olympics (stop, I’m joking)…
-Yeah, ain’t nothing “wigling” there. I thought she was supposed to be all natural and yoga-y and shit…
-Boo, Woo. Yay, Jeremay, and Abi is one of those girls who looks cute when you’re drunk at the bar at closing time, and she’s acting all slutty, and you have no other options so you take “it” home, and when you wake up, you’re like, “Fuck, I’m Jewish, and I don’t even like pork…”
-Oddly, this group is super old. Spencer is the baby at 22. Maybe that’s why he seems kinda inferior…
-And is Tash not married? She wanted some Joe. Wonder what happened at Ponderosa…?
-You gotta watch all the seasons just to see where these folks came from. And Peih-Gee just strikes me as so boring. You can tell a lot of these players are not playing up a “character” like regular seasons. These folks are playing for themselves. Wonder how the rest of the season is gonna go and if the show will ever do it again…
-Fishbach. Another dweeb who’s attained cult status just because he was on the show. You gotta look like you belong, not just TALK like you belong.
-Vytas said in interviews that he wasn’t trying to be all gross, but that’s what happens when you run around in your underwear. I’m kinda like, “Why the fuck does everyone have to do that? Wear your damn shorts!” Gross.
-Shirin looks like a mongoose. She’s fuckin’ Rikki-Tikki-Tavi…! Can’t believe that didn’t occur to me Wednesday night…
-And thank you, Annie, for being my “biggest fan.” I look forward to your hospitality… 😉
Susie! Thanks for the mojo! I do hope it doesn’t fall through. Now, just gotta get cable so I can actually watch the shows live! I’ll do better next week, I promise!
Hathor!! I will do my best to bring the snark and boob/dick jokes. Those are still funny, no matter what the PMRC says. Seriously, it’s an easy “go-to” but I strangely find myself chuckling when I think of them. I hope I’m not offending anyone… Or if I am, GTFO, you don’t belong here, grandma!
-Totally agree with your Old School observation. Like I wrote earlier, it’s not pretty out there… Can’t wait to see what the “4 Week Survivor Diet” will do for some of them…
-Jeff promises the show didn’t place anyone, so we only have America to blame. Not sure who would vote her there, cause she’s a back-stabbing bitch (to women) and she resembles Porky Pig (to men). So WHO voted for her? Fess up, you monsters…
-Thank you for returning. I’ll try my best and hopefully this season takes off…before I take off. Gotta stick it out for one more season and then let’s see where this “career” leads me. Til then, it’s boob and dick jokes…
Loving all of you!
BF
Busy this week, so just got around to watching episode Most of my comments have already been mentioned, so I won’t repeat. But I can’t let this go. Please stop with the bra shots of very chunky women! Just like underwear shots of fat men should be banned, so should jello shaking boob shots.
The whole idol finding( I guess . clue finding this season) seems suspect). Just how big an area are the contestants confined to? Not complaining on who found the clue, but seemed way too easy. Looking forward to a new season.
Fish! Glad you’re back and giving us the perfect amount of snark. I look forward to each and every episode and your version of what REALLY happened!
Doc! Thanks to your comment, I went off a little in last night’s recap. I totally agree with you. I think it has a little to do with what we expect to see on the show, and far they’ve let themselves go. Can’t wait for the Survivor diet to kick in…
-I wonder too, about how difficult it is to find idols. Are they looking for 10 minutes, or 4 hours?
-And I hope you mean you’re looking forward to THIS season, right? You know things’ll improve…
jberry! My pleasure. I hope I can dish it the way you like it! 😉