Ok, let’s move on to tonight’s festivities and see where this ship is gonna dock. With so many “I wouldn’t want to see THAT Final 3” proclamations being made, we’re probably in for a substantial amount of disappointment, because you know at least one of the Stooges are making Final Tribal. And if that’s the case, we’re in for one helluva Final Jury, because there’s no way this season is going down without a whimper.
Truth is, EVERYONE left in this game has been a disappointment in one way or another, which isn’t always something you can say at the end. Do your own research and review the Final Tribal participants. While some may not have fully deserved to be there, there aren’t many seasons like World’s Apart where the participants have been so…unfit…to win the game. It’s truly remarkable how low this season fell. So, without any more shade to throw, let’s head down to Nicaragua, and see who can claim the title of Sole Survivor in what’s probably the 3rd worst season ever…
And right of the top, I can see this is going to be a painful recap to write. Seeing Jeff with that live studio audience behind him, knowing I should have been IN THAT AUDIENCE is not sitting well with me. (…I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like you… Ahhh….) And thankfully, Jeff says they’re going to address all the, ahem, misanthropes, they put on the show. And yes, I’m looking at YOU, Lynne Spillman… Because, don’t you think the show should take SOME responsibility for the crap that’s strewn on their program?
Jeff’s season-covering recap tells us exactly what we already know. The main points being,
-Mike is a lonesome cowboy
-Tempers have been flaring
-Mike and Carolyn know how to play the game
-Dan doesn’t
-Sierra’s tattooed eyebrows look like magnificent seagulls
We’re then given a brief look at each player’s approach to their game. I’ll summarize each of their statements into a 3 words analysis:
Sierra – The game started?
POS – I did SOMETHING
Carolyn – Do or die
Rodney – I played hahd
Mike – Who’s Super Dave?
Night 35, and as the “tribe” – Can we really call them that? How about litter? – returns after voting Dan out, Rodney instantly wants to pull everyone aside, except Mike of course, to discuss what happened. His main issue is with Carolyn and, “How could you hide the fact you had an idol from us?,” leading to her obvious reply, “But you voted for me.” Her reply seems to fall on deaf (and dumb) ears. Meanwhile, Mike is not surprised the Idiot Brigade is back at it, discussing how to take him out, so he knows he’s still Public Enemy #1. Best to rest up and hit it hard tomorrow…
And right away, we’re getting a reward challenge that’s really going to test the players’ stamina, coordination, balance, and brainpower. And after last week’s showing in the letter scramble challenge, we could be here a while… The best part of the challenge is the actual reward, whereby the winner will be able to bring their loved one back to camp for the night. So, yeah, let’s do an emotional Loved One sequence…
Wow, that was really emotional. Good stuff, Survivor (wipes tear from keyboard). That must have brought a tear to many of your eyes too, unless you’re a heartless bastard. Raise your hand if you’re a heartless bastard! And did you notice they did POS last, since you know the show hates him the most… Good for him he feels fired up and ready to go, because what a shame it would be to fail miserably in front of his wife. To the challenge!
With POS taking a surprising lead, he’s soon caught by Mike who then begins to distance himself from the crowd by dominating in both the “shuffleboard” and “carrying tiles” stages. All the lead that POS earned is lost when he can’t get through 3 consecutive trips of trying to carry tiles atop a machete. Mike continues to dominate as he successfully transports his 3 loads of tiles without dropping any and reaches the “matching tiles” section and combination lock.
When Sierra reaches the final stage as well, Mike has already attempted two combinations unsuccessfully before switching tiles and trying a third. Before Sierra can even make her first attempt, Mike gets it and wins reward (time with mommy!) and an advantage at the Immunity Challenge. Yeah, he needed that…
Everyone says goodbye to their loved one except Mike, who gets to spend the day and night with mom, who’ll maybe do his laundry, make his bed, and get to see what her baby boy has been dealing with for the past 35 days. Welcomed into their camp, Mike doesn’t let the others size mom up for too long before he steals her away for a private talk. He wants to let her know how sh**ty the others have been to him, and we can see that spending time with the person he loves most is obviously going to be a boost for him. The two share a pee in the river and confirm that this is exactly what Mike needed.
But what Mike doesn’t need is his mom letting him down, which is what the next scene is all about. The advantage that Mike won is to have his mom direct him through an elaborate maze with 4 stations – blindfolded – where he’ll have to collect necklaces. But it looks like mom is not so good with mazes, and the 30 minutes they spend is not enough for Mike to feel confident in this challenge. The disappointment on his face is obvious but who knows how the others will do…? They ain’t exactly geniuses.
Day 37 and Jeff describes the challenge to the others. Collect the 4 directional necklaces (N, S, E, W) and then make your way to the Immunity necklace. There’s a center station that players can use as a guide to help them get their bearings. We all know Mike needs the win to stay alive, so let’s see if the time with mom helped him.
Jeff releases the dogs and they all begin stumbling around the maze like blind men. Well, they are blindfolded, so they can’t be faulted for that. Mike seems to be the only one with a kind of plan, which is proven as he collects his 1st three necklaces while the others can only manage none or one. Mike seems to be destroying the others when he collects his 4th, and only needs to locate the Immunity necklace for the win.
Without much drama, he does so, and triumphantly brings the necklace over to Jeff for his coronation. He’s definitely proving to be one of the greatest players in any one single season, and thankfully for him, it’s a season that sucks balls… Sorry to say, but it looks like poor Carolyn will be going home, unless something crazy happens. Hey Carolyn, the good news is you’re still in the running for Season 31!
When the five return to Merica, minor congratulations are given to Mike, who then says he’s going to get water. Sierra and Carolyn quickly say they’ll go too and head off behind him. We all know this is code for “speaking with Mike” than collecting water, but let’s see if any of these fools actually waste any time collecting water…
Thankfully no, and they quickly get down to business. Carolyn is first to say, “I’m writing down Rodney,” which is more due to the zero amount of work he does around camp than anything else. Wow, how much someone contributes around camp still matters? You’ve got 2 days left! Whatev. Sierra is onboard with taking out the Rodney train and Mike confirms this is the final 3 he’d like to see at Final Tribal. Yeah, that doesn’t sound right to me, but let’s see what transpires…
Mike and Rodney are then cuddling on the hammock, quietly discussing plans when Mike tells him the women are gunning for him. With Sierra approaching, Rodney suggests they go for a walk. Away from camp, Rodney lays it out that he’s been solid from Day 1, and Sierra “hasn’t done nothing.” Which, if you were asking me, is the reason to bring her to Final Tribal, but what do I know? I’m the guy who couldn’t get into the Finale…
This leaves Mike with 2 options to consider. Either go to Final 3 with Rodney and POS, or go with Carolyn and Sierra, and to be honest, he’d destroy either one of those, so who do you pick? I’m thinking you need to vote out the person who is most likely to give you their jury vote, so who would that be?
Tribal Council arrives and the players enter. The jury enters as well and you can see that Dan is still mugging for the cameras. When is this guy going to learn he looks like a douche when he does this? He reminds me of one of the cowboys in the farting scene in Blazing Saddles, but I don’t know why that is…
Tribal Council offers few secrets. We all know Rodney is targeting Sierra and Sierra is targeting Rodney, but she didn’t do herself any favors by saying she’s been competing really well against Mike in challenges. Jeff even points this out, which is not a good sign. Funny how Carolyn’s name isn’t brought up at all, considering how well she’s done in challenges. POS even has something to say, which is that Mike is going home next time if he doesn’t win.
Uh, yeah, POS, you stupid a**, dumbf**k, misogynistic piece of s**t, you don’t make a comment like that against the person your “alliance” is trying to keep when he’s the swing vote. But, obviously, he’s too stupid to be on this show, and once again, f**k you, Lynne Spillman. Yeah, the “internet sensation” is “someone we need on this show…” You stupid b**ch…
I’m pissed again, and it’s time to vote…
Rodney
Sierra
Sierra
Boom goes the rodeo clown… And the most significant thing about Sierra leaving is seeing that Carolyn also voted to take her out. Hmm… I wonder what’s gonna happen tomorrow…?
Immediately, we’re brought to the next Immunity challenge, which is a massive one. Players untie knots, race up stairs, grab a key, slide down a giant waterslide, race through a multi-tiered maze, where they’ll untie puzzle pieces. Once they’re retrieved 3 puzzle pieces, they’ll need to assemble a lighthouse tower made up of approximately a dozen pieces. Since this challenge involves using your brain, I’m thinking Rodney and POS have no chance of winning, so let’s see if Mike can hold off Carolyn and make Final 3…
With Mike taking an early lead and Carolyn and POS running a virtual second, it’s up to Rodney to see if he can make up some time. He does, and quickly catches and passes them to move into 2nd place. Mike continues to lead the pack, while POS and Carolyn fade on the giant stairway to heaven. Mike begins building his tower, placing piece after piece, and is essentially challenged only by Carolyn. Even with POS placing a piece or two, you can see Mike is much better at puzzles than his competitors, and being relatively athletic didn’t hurt either. Rodney is virtually worthless (why is he on this show again? Oh yeah, he’s a good “character”…) and proves that goombas are better off in the dark, grimy city than in any activity that involves using their brains. Rodney, there’s a future for you in organized crime, and not much else… Needless to say, Mike wins.
In honor of how kickass this challenge was, Mike receives his Immunity necklace from his 3 tribemates, and Jeff points out he’s joined an elusive group of players with 5 Individual Immunity wins (with Colby and Terry Dietz only, I believe) and heads back to camp knowing he’ll be in the final 3. If this doesn’t confirm he’s the Sole Survivor, than something is wrong with the process and a lot of things are wrong with the jury. Please God, I don’t pray very often, but please reward Mike with the win so I can take something positive away from this day…
Back at camp, Mike says he’s going to take a pee, and Carolyn decides to go with him. Gross. With Rodney and POS staying behind to talk guy stuff, Hot Rod tells him not to worry. Mike is onboard with them. POS isn’t so sure, but confesses that “taking someone named ‘Mama’ to Final Tribal is a bad idea…
Mike and Carolyn have their chat and it boils down to Mike saying the Blue Collars turned their backs on him, so he’s going to turn his back on the last Blue Collar player. He knows Rodney and POS are voting for Carolyn, and he swears he’ll vote Rodney. With the tie, it’ll go to a fire making challenge, so Mama C better get her “F**k you, Smokey the Bear” face on and learn how to make some fire. And yes, it doesn’t involve hiring someone to do it, you White Collar snob…
Mike comes back to camp and tells Rodney what’s up, which is Mama C is voting for him, so Mike needs to decide what to do. He claims he’s undecided, but it’s all a charade. In the most telling statement of the night (and possibly, the season) Mike says he’d rather take Mama C to the end, than drag 2 goats along with him. And if the ghost of Woo could suddenly appear on the Nicaraguan beach, please do so now…
Knowing she needs to practice her fire making skills, we see her struggling to even get a spark or any real smoke in her attempts. I do not like her chances in this task, but you got to wonder if she’ll even need to, or if Rodney would do any better. Or, I’m wondering if Mike is just lying again (like he did to Sierra) and will simply take the other two Stooges to the end with him.
At Tribal, the final four sit with Jeff and the Jury files in. As expected, Sierra looks smoking hot having been reintroduced to a shower and her make-up bag. Jeff congratulates Mike for his challenge prowess, and then asks POS what was up with today’s challenge. He responds that while they’re all competing against each other, the challenge was fought with respect and admiration, and they were happy to all place the necklace around Mike’s neck. Jeff asks Mike for a reply, who says,
“It’s a family, but it’s a dysfunctional family,”
Which elicits a stupid reaction from Dan (and yeah, I know it could have been in response to something else, but I’m gonna believe it had to do with this). Dan reacting this way makes me want to punch the guy in the f**king throat, and hope I never have to see his fake, overcompensating, mugging Neanderthal ass on television again. Please go away, you don’t belong at the table with the big kids…
Jeff wraps things up and essentially it’s Carolyn voting for Rodney and him for her. Mike lays it all on the table and describes both players’ strengths and weaknesses but says his vote will be based on who outplayed, outwitted, and outlasted the best. And while I’m thinking Mike is inherently a liar and not as honorable as he believes he is, it’ll probably come down to a fire making challenge, and he’ll let that decide their fate. But that’s just me. It’s time to vote…
Jeff reads them off…
Rodney
Carolyn
Carolyn
Rodney
And thankfully, we get a bit more drama to chew on this season. Let’s go to a fire making challenge!
Both players struggle to make even a hint of flame and I’m beginning to think we’ve got another Becky vs. Sundra. After 20 minutes, neither player could produce fire, and Carolyn even managed to break her flint. Rodney also needs Jeff’s help with flint, and it looks like we could be here all night.
Sure enough, after 45 and then 53 minutes, we’re still at a standstill, it’s like we’re frozen in time. Finally, Rodney gets a small fire to light, and then seconds later, Carolyn does the same. It’s now a race to see who can get their fire to burn longer, stronger and higher. Utilizing different approaches, Rodney’s fire seems to be more coconut husk than wood, and eventually, Carolyn’s “tee-pee” approach gets the job done and burns through her string. Snap! And with Rodney leaving in one of the most adolescent manners ever, calling Mike a “stupid piece of s**t,” (Hey! That name’s taken!) he heads off to Ponderosa, where he’ll be welcomed by Dan’s arms alone. Good luck, there, Goomba-ya…
Your blog is enjoyable but absolutely impossible and frustrating to read due to the ads that pop up automatically regardless if you click on them or not. Is there anyway to chill out w the ads? I know you’re making money but it is seriously making me mental.
Thank you-
Oh no Bryan, say it isn’t so! I hate this part of the season, and yet its so much fun too. I can honestly say reading your recaps are as fun as watching the show. You do a great job. We don’t always agree on everything but hey, its fun. I think you bashed Mike way too much this season and I felt a tiny sense of smug satisfaction that he won. I wanted to send you a tweet (and I hate Twitter) saying HA! He really did deserve to win. Some thoughts, Carolyn, speaking of smug, she was the epitome of the word. Yeesh! She sure cleaned up nice at the reunion and looked about 20 years younger. But I was so glad she didn’t win over Mike and even more pleased that she wasn’t chosen for the new season. I think she was shocked. I was happy with a lot of the picks. Agree with you totally about Abi. Yuck. I was actually happy about Cass. But you know how I like annoying players. You gotta have a few of them just for fun. My 10 year old son loved that Woo and Jeremy were back and we actually both liked Keith. I must have a soft place in my heart for rednecks. I actually have some in my DNA I think, which may be why. Dan was a total loser last night. That was kinda funny how Jeff proved him wrong with the whole “your mama’s a ho” thing and yet, it showed what a prick Jeff is too. Meow! Loved your reference to the ATL housewives about POS’s wife. So true! Can’t wait for the new season. A few of the players I don’t know at all. I have a black hole of about 8 seasons I never watched. So sorry you didn’t make it on the show last night. That was a total bummer. Oh and love the “Cockring” reference too. So funny! Miss you already Fishy. You are a great writer, seriously. Have an awesome summer!!! I CANT QUIT YOU……
Thanks for the recap – love your work. This season felt so unfinished and unsatisfying, but an extra laugh at your recap has helped me put it to bed. I’m ready to move on now – bring on season 31.
Gosh it sucks that you didn’t get in to watch the finale live! That would have been awesome! At any rate, I’m so glad Mike won. I wasn’t his biggest fan at the beginning but he was beast at challenges and does seem like a genuinely nice guy. Congrats to him!
I agree with you about POS though – I can’t believe he actually got even a single vote! Being a complete jerk aside, WTF did he even DO this season? Re: his wife yelling at Shirin from across the stage – just goes to show how classless they both are. His apology to Shirin was def not genuine and was only said b/c of the backlash he was getting for being such a jerk.
Looking forward to next season! I really am not family with the girls so I didn’t vote (I haven’t seen ALL of the seasons) but I think 9 of my 10 mens’ votes are on! I know you aren’t a Woo fan but I have to tell you that I watch this show with my 8 year old son and we LOVED Woo on his season! He always reminds me of when Woo fell out of the coconut tree. haha! It’s the little things…. 🙂
Have a good summer and can’t wait to read your recaps in the fall!
– Bonnie
Man, massive bummer about getting screwed out of the finale. Imagine if you hadn’t DVRd it and would have missed however long it took for you to get home. Definitely sucks.
To sum up the episode in general: So pleased Mike won out the challenges, it pleases part of me that one of each collar made it to the final 3 (even though as stated in the past, I wish nothing but ill towards POS).
Jury comments.
Joe – *yawn* really man? Boring. I need flare! I need ZING!
Hali – Falling asleep over here, surely you could have at least said something bad about Will being the first no collar to break ranks and screw you right?
Rodney – Keep it real brothah! Keep it real. Also seriously? No comments towards Mike? Come on man, unleash the beast. We all saw what you thought about him after you failed to build a decent fire. Nothing? Really?
Tyler – Generic “Who can kiss my ass best?” questions. Boring.
Sierra – Seriously? Only a question to POS? Really? Are you undecided? What are you going for here? Nothing to Mama C who betrayed you at the last tribal? Nothing to Mike who you made a meaningful promise to about sticking on his side and still getting voted off? Come on… where are my fireworks Jury?!
Jenn – Finally, some action. Thankyou for reminding at least half the jury that they’re stubborn idiots. We wholeheartedly agree (though if you were serious about claiming you’d vote for Rodney over Mike and POS if he made it over Carolyn, then you need a spanking, one of which I’d be happy to deliver.)
Dan – Pointless blah blah.
Had to disagree with Shirin’s speech at least a little bit. If Mike made you feel better than a million bucks, I’d argue that he’s worth voting for. The Howler Monkey who is clawing, trying his best to stay in the game, make waves, is infinitely more interesting to watch (even if the accent can at times be tiring) than the stingray who just floats around, takes a poo and floats to a new spot… Obviously dead fish is dead fish and we firmly agree that one should not eat the dead fish… Except I like my fish dead generally, you see what eating wiggly live fishies did to Gollum girl? Dead is better, just cook it unless I’m at a sushi place. ALSO mentioning that you made your first million by age 25 is going to haunt you big time on season 31… Nobody likes to keep people around that don’t need the money.
And long story short, thrilled that Mike’s the big winner.
As I said a few weeks back, I take back what I said about CBS and the Survivor producers and Jeff Probst being idiots. They didn’t spoil anything, Mike freaking played an “immunity idol” against my, and countless other, votes. I’ve been blindsided and I liked it.
Loved your recap,
AS FAR AS THE AD POP UP ISSUE–
I find them annoying as well, takes forever to go from page to page, not to mention that the first one opens up a useless tab. Here’s a way to bypass all that (sorry Steve, I know you have to pay the bills, but if I had to continue to put up will ALL the ads, I was going to stop reading your great site.
The best browser is Chrome, and if you do use Chrome as I do (not sure about the other browsers) go to settings and click on extensions, then search for Ad Block Plus, APB, download it, and all the ads will stop popping up.
As a continuation to the Ad Block Plus:
As a warning-
If you ever click on a link to watch a video (as I did to watch Ponderosa on the Survivor website) you will need to watch any video in another browser, because this Ad Blocker also blocks the ads played before any video, therefore not being able to run the video.
Hello everyone! So glad to see all your comments. I’ll do what I can to address everything.
First off, I have nothing to do with the website and the advertising problems you’re experiencing. I’m terribly sorry it’s frustrating, as I’ve experienced a little of what you’re talking about. I use Chrome and do what wanker suggests. I have the Ad Blocker Plus extension and I still get some ads. Trust me, I’ve spoken to the webmaster, and all I can say is they’re working on it. I know there was some issues a week or two ago, so I don’t know if this is residual from that, but be assured they’re aware of the problem. Sorry…
mrsjax: That was primarily for you (since you were kind enough to write in!) but it’s also for anyone having problems. It’s truly frustration, and I’m so sorry you can’t enjoy the snark unfettered. 😉 And THANK YOU for enjoying the column. Be aware I make nothing writing the recaps, so I can understand the frustrations…
kinb! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwlYo8EYTWI) Love your support. You’re my biggest fan and I always love reading your comments!
-I know I trashed Mike, but god he was so annoying earlier in the season. And that voice! If this wasn’t so abhorrent, I’m sure I would have liked him more. With the idiots around him, it gave him a sense of superiority, which wouldn’t have existed if he was around “normal” strong people. There’s a video on the CBS site. I think it’s in the Bonus Clips section, and it’s the Pre-Jury thoughts of various players. It’s very enlightening to see what some of them were thinking before they went to Tribal. The one that I was interested in seeing the most is Jenn’s. Check it out ( http://www.cbs.com/shows/survivor/video/Sj4muwpRietIVN5OUISxKcTMl9JMH3j5/survivor-the-jury-speaks-jenn/ ). What I found most interesting is when she says that Mike is incredibly juvenile for a man his age (remember, he’s 38, and she’s 22) so that must have been part of the reason he played the way he did. Hell, I can be immature — look at some of the things I write! — but I wonder if his past personal issues stunted his growth in certain ways.
-Carolyn, as I said, I don’t think she deserved anything (the win or Season 31). She hardly did anything this season, but was still considered one of the stronger players (how shitty does that make this season?).
-Yeah, there are a few players that I think will suffer in S31 simply because of their previous games. Abi is one, Kass is another, and for different reasons, Joe and Shirin. Joe, cause he’s a threat, and Shirin, cause she admitted to already having money. Dumb! However, she didn’t know about S31 when she said it, so gotta cut her slack there.
-Even though I didn’t think Woo should get on, I totally like his vibe. Like a surfer muscrat… I’m stoked Jeremy is there (another pre-game threat) and not happy about Keith for so many reasons (which I’ve documented often…)
-Dan is just a douche. Did you hear him say to someone (about Jeff), “He’s throwing me under the bus.”? Yeah, I don’t think we have to worry about seeing Dan any more (Thank God).
-Re: POS’s wife. As much as I think she was just acting “all ghetto and shit,” she was MIC’ed up and they had a camera already on her to cover her reaction. So, yeah, the show is also guilty of making that happen…
-You should go back and watch past seasons. If not for entertainment, then at least to have that back story on certain players.
-I like near a Cochran Ave. and I call it Cockring all the time. Was happy to finally sneak it in…
-And thanks for your compliment. I ain’t no Billy Shakespeare, but I’m glad I can put a smile on your face. XOXO
ann: Thank you so much! I totally agree with you on this season. It was kind of like the Merica tribe was just one big pre-merge dysfunctional tribe and now we’re about to start the real season. I HATE IT when strong players are voted out early and leave all the runts to fight for the nipples… Yes, let’s move on!
bonnie: Thanks for the concern over the finale. I was so distraught when it happened. It’s like, “There’s NOTHING I can do or say to get in?” And since it’s the Television industry, you know the people working for the company think they can treat you like shit, so they just say, “No, that’s it, you have to go.” It’s like how they treat extras in TV and movies…like cattle. Just shut up, do what you’re told, for God’s sake, don’t talk to anybody, and “here’s your $60 for working a 10 hour day.” It’s sad. I was so pissed that I wrote a complaint letter to the owner of the company and told him my situation, and he was kind enough to recognize my plight and offered me tickets to the Season 31 finale show! So, yeah, I’m over my depression and looking forward to December! Woo-Hoo!
-Yeah, as much as I teased Mike, he clearly deserved it.
-POS is such an appropriate nickname. He was just trying to make the show proud and do what they suggested, but I think it’s clear neither he nor Shirin were interested in resolving anything… I’d like to see what reception she gets if she talks shit about anyone on S31…
-Like I said, I’m good with Woo. He’ll be fun. Rather see fun than bitchy…
-Thanks, you too, hope I come back in the fall…
thatguy: Dude, it was one of the worsts day in my life that night. As I said above, it’s all resolved now, but man I was so broken up that night.
-As cool as it was about one of each collar being in the final, I could care less. I would have rather seen, Mike, Joe and Jenn than anyone else, but it all worked out. Just made for some shittier episodes in the back half…
-And yeah, the jury was SOOOOO disappointing. Like I said, they were definitely hitting the bottle before hand and chilled out on the harshness. I wanted an epic throw down, and we got lambs… Rodney was anti-Mike to the core, but it just shows you how loyal he is. To a fault… Tyler was like LJ, once he was out of the game, he checked out. Sierra was just like tap water. No substance. Jenn was awesome! I think she raised her hand at the reunion show just to see if anyone would ask her why. She’s a petulant one, that Jenn… Dan is POS2. And, as I said above, you’re right about Shirin. I bet she wishes she could take that back now…
-I still don’t like the fact CBS spoiled that they weren’t going home a couple weeks ago. I don’t even want be thinking about “who might be going home tonight?” I just wanna watch the damn show! They should have just left Mike and Carolyn off the list of contenders, since they already knew Mike had won. They should have just put Max, Joe, Shirin (and why not Jenn? she probably didn’t wanna do it) or Lindsey (but she has a kid) instead of creating all this drama.
wanker: Thank you. I use ABP all the time…
That’s it for this season, unless I see any more comments. Soon, I hope to post an update list of Rankings of Every Player that include players from this season. Something tells me Mike may actually rank pretty highly after only one season. Probably in the low 50’s. Impressive for only having played one season. I’ll try to post that list quickly (it’ll be on Twitter).
I appreciate all your love and support. Despite what you may think, this is still fun for me! I do so enjoy recapping for you, my only concern is the time I spend on it and what I’m missing out on. Sad to say, I’m missing out on some family stuff that’s beginning to weigh on my shoulders. I’ll try to reach a compromise over that. Maybe I should sell t-shirts…?
So, enjoy your summers. Spend more time with your families, and let’s all look forward to an amazing Season 31. I’ll be watching the winner revealed from the studio audience, unless it’s going to be in New York! Ouch…
Peace out, my lovelies…
Was having some problems with the ads also, kept getting a call an 800 number to solve computer issue pop-up that would freeze computer.
It was so long ago and so unremarkable that I forgot much of the final episode/reunion show.
It worked out for him but I think Mike still did some stupids moves at the end. Should have eliminated Mama C before Sierra, and WTF not eliminating Mama C but letting her into a fire fight with Rodney. Of course, as has been said a million times, the ineptitude of the fire challenge summed
up the season nicely.
What was the point of the reunion show? The players were not even introduced ( or perhaps my lack of interest had me miss that part)
Where was me SO horny!
Yes we all know Dan is a douche, but as another poster pointed out, Jeff’s trying to make Dan look bad was a bit over the top.How much time was wasted on that!
Not sure if the naming of the second chancers was done to boost ratings, or not, but why now have that as its own show? I have some large gaps in Survivor viewing, so perhaps some clips of the players chosen. I am not also a fan of drawing out the results. None of this one/two of these two/three/four will be advancing, just give the effing results.
Time for me to start viewing old seasons to get up to speed on the next season (and to cleanse my brain from this season)
Thanks Fish for the recaps and letting us vent.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Most shocking thing for me at the finale was the hypothetical vote. I had heard that Rodney was “well-liked,” and when Probst asked the jurors how they would have voted in a Mike-Rodney matchup, and Jenn (quite surprising after her speech at the final tribal council) and Hali (and POS, of course) would have voted for Rodney. Only Sierra (switching to Mike instead of Rodney would have given him the win (by a bare 5-3 margin).
The scary thing about all of that, is that if Rodney had made it to the final three INSTEAD of Mike, he very likely would have won the game (at a minimum, he would have those same three votes, and would just need to pick up one more for a tie – or two for an outright win).
If you ever get a chance, ask an insider what happens if there is a tie for the winner (at a minimum, do they each get a million, or do they split it?)?
Anything on S32 (sorry, just came across the Survivor section of the site very recently)? Given that it is already in the can (somewhat bizarrely filmed before S31), there is a lot of time for information to leak before it airs (those people will have to wait over a year to get paid – wow!).
susie! Thanks! (I think…) I can’t tell if you’re effing with me or truly felt my pain. My snark-meter is broken so I’m gonna go with sincerity… 😉
user: I know what you mean about the “hypothetical.” I wondered the same thing. I recall seeing a video where Jenn was saying that Rodney was playing a quietly strong game, so maybe that’s why she woulda switched, but that whole final tribal question seemed to indicate she was on board voting for Mike. That woman baffles me… I think she just does it to f**k with us.
-Scary to think that Rodney — that messed up, misogynistic, self-aggrandizing, challenge pariah — could have been the winner. Ouch.
-I also wondered about a tie. I’ll tweet Probst, but that guy doesn’t respond to my tweets. I’ll add the other contenders and see if anyone hits me back. Follow me (if you don’t already) to see if they reply..
-Season 32 cast is already being spoiled by Redmond on Twitter. He seems to be the only one spoiling the cast & locations and claims to not spoil show secrets. Follow him at your own discretion. I’ll deal with S31 for now and not care about S32 until I have to. One tiny spoiler I can reveal is that some dude who works with Cesternino on RHAP is on the cast, so it looks like the show is starting to reward the folks who are doing free publicity for them. Sad…
Peace out! Have a great summer!
Fish
“POS’s wife thinks this is an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta and likes yelling at people from across the room.”
ROFL! Lord. Thank you for this comment. Just. Thank you.
smartgirl! I will endeavor to tickle your funny bone again, I hope… 😉
And in case you guys don’t follow me on Twitter (and why not?!) I posted the rankings for the Season 30 players. Check it out…
A reminder, I previously went back and watched every episode of Survivor and reviewed every challenge played, every idol found, every Tribal, every Exile Island, every Redemption Arena, every…everything. I’ve always claimed this is the most objective Ranking of every Survivor player, simply because it’s based on game achievements, statistics, and not on “favorites.”
So, without further ado, here are the results for Season 30 players (a total of 460 players have played so far):
Name: Rank: Points:
Mike Holloway 37 90
Carolyn Rivera 56 72
Will “POS” Simms II 100 56
Sierra Dawn Thomas 112 53
Dan Foley 128 51
Tyler Fredrickson 128 51
Rodney Lavoie Jr. 138 50
Joe Anglim 191 43
Shirin Oskooi 204 41
Jenn Brown 230 37
Hali Ford 262 31
Joaquin Souberbielle 277 28
Kelly Remington 277 28
Max Dawson 311 23
Lindsey Cascaddan 354 17
Nina Poersch 392 11
Vince Sly 406 9
So Kim 439 3
I think it’s important to mention that what Mike accomplished this season was turn in the SINGLE MOST DOMINANT PERFORMANCE in one season of Survivor. True, other players won 5 individual immunities, but they didn’t do as well in tribal reward/immunity challenges, they didn’t find idols, and they certainly weren’t named Sole Survivor. So for that, Mike, The Fish salutes you. Now, go enjoy some time off and we’ll see you back on Survivor: Legends, some day…
(However, I think it’s important to state that he was competing against one of the weakest final 9 groups ever. Don’t wanna take anything away from him, just giving a little perspective.)
Okay, folks, that’s it. You probably won’t hear from me until next season (unless you “do the Twitter.”) If possible, please follow me! @BF_TheFish
Have a wonderful summer and if we don’t reconnect some day, have a wonderful life…
Fish…out!