Our first individual Immunity Challenge is next and thank God we’re heading toward the 2nd half of the season. It’s like in any sporting event: any mistakes, errors, or penalties suffered in the first half of the game are gone. It’s crunch time. And what a better way to start the 2nd half than a good old-fashioned Survivor classic. Climb a post and hold on for dear life. I think the last time we saw this was John Cody and “socks-gate” but I may be wrong about that. What I do recall is that you probable want to wear shoes, or have some f**ked up caveman feet to do well in this game. Looks like it’s a no-brainer, Will is taking home the mother**king brontosaurus burger!
However, BEING the size of a brontosaurus may work against him, so I’m thinking Joe, Jenn or Tyler may fare better than Fred Flintstone. Let’s see how it goes…
Our first look at the players in position and Mike is already losing. Why wouldn’t he start higher? Oh, I get it. He left room at the top for the “A” in America! Clever redneck… Next, to no one’s surprise, Dan is struggling. He’s not the most, ahem, “fit” castaway, so why’d they even make him climb the pole? He could have twisted an ankle getting UP the friggin’ thing. He’s out in a Survivor record 7 seconds. Maybe if he peed on the pole he would have done better?
Fred Flintstone is out 7 seconds later and you know this means Will was just John Goodman’s stand-in when they shot The Flintstones… Tyler is out next, which surprises me, since he’s an ex-pro football player, a kicker, no less, I thought he’d have some talented feet. Alas, he got cut preseason in the NFL, and out third in Survivor Pole Dance qualifies as preseason here.
Tellingly, Jeff says “the more you weigh, the more difficult this is going to be” and natch the camera shows Shirin. Poor girl. She doesn’t know if she should grab tighter, pee on it, or fantasize about being a Vegas stripper working the pole (sorry, it’s on the mind tonight…).
The next ones out, in order, are: Sierra, Shirin, Kelly, but many are showing signs of struggling. After 25 minutes, everyone’s struggling. Rodney asks Carolyn if she’s “got it” but before she can answer, Mike drops out suddenly. Followed by Rodney. We then get our comic relief of the night as Jenn is stung by a bee (we assume) near the cooter and Jeff asks many “probing” questions about her injury. After Hali drops out, we’re down to Joe, Jenn and Carolyn, and then the rains came. A torrential downpour, which may have only lasted a few minutes, but you know the moisture on the pole isn’t making this easy. After 55 minutes, Jenn finally drops, and immediately a handful of guys rush to see if they can check out Jenn’s injury. She demurs…
As Carolyn slides down a bit, Joe looks strong, still clinging to the top of the pole. Looks like being the reincarnation of Malcolm does bring some rewards and hopefully this bodes well for his game. I’ll go on record right now and say I hope he wins Season 30, because he just looks like the kind of person I want to see win Survivor. So f**k all you Cochrans, Natalies, and Vecepias of the world…
And as we go to break, Jenn tells us she wants to bring the No & Whites together and take out the Blues, so let’s see if they can put that crazy plan together.
Back at camp, Super Dave announces “we know everyone wants to go talk, so go talk” and shushes everyone to get the hell outta camp and chat. He’s under the delusion that the BC 5 are in charge, and it’ll be Jenn or Hali going home tonight. Now would be a good time to discuss why no one’s found – or even looked for – the hidden immunity idol at Escameca, but chances are someone from the old Blue Collars would find it and deem it unbefitting to the Merica tribe (“America wasn’t founded on getting a free ride. We earned everything we have by hard work, perseverance…and genocide). But I digress…
As Mike heads out of camp – alone!! – he looks surprisingly guilty of something. Maybe he’s going to hunt for the idol! Sounds like something an American would do! But no, he’s just going to make out with Dan away from the others. Oops, I’m sorry, I mean TALK to Dan. They discuss whether to take out Jenn or Hali, but they need to stay BC strong and play into to Rodney’s ego, since they believe he’s tight with Will.
Next, they grab Will and tell him their plan is to take out Hali, but that’s a ruse as they’ll vote Jenn. So if they see Hali’s name written down, they’ll know Will voted with them. But, Will has a mind of his own and knows he (and his NC mates) could side with the old White Collars or they could vote with the Blues. Too many choices… And with all the scenarios he’s had to consider today, Will conjectures,
“This vote is going to determine who’s loyal and who’s not…”
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This was a pretty good episode. The producers couldn’t have written a better “script” than to have it rain on their monkey pole challenge. I was happy to see Joe win immunity. I’d like him to stay in the game.
Do you think he and Sierra fix eachother’s hair? I mean…his always looks nice and how in the heck could she do her own french braid without a mirror? (The random stuff I think about when a challenge involves a lot of boring hanging around for the contestants)
Jenn needs to get back to camp and find that other idol.
I loved seeing that confused/upset expression on Rod’s face once again. Like a toddler about to throw his sucker in the dirt and pout. Awesome.
Keep up the great recaps! Your excellent knowledge of survivor history and the snark with which it is delivered makes for fun reading.
My question is why did the NC go for Kelly when they could have taken out Mike?
I was born and raised in Texas and I have never heard anyone say “Merica”. Okay, that is a lie but I have only heard people say it in a joking manner, for example if they are making fun of rednecks, which is what me and the only other liberal in the whole dang State do for fun.
Perhaps I am on Survivor burnout, but this season seems lacking so far.
I live in Chicago so I got the Luc Longley reference, but why in the world is Mr. Boston using the Bulls instead of Red Sox/Celtics/Briuns/Patriots for an obscure reference. Is Rodney even a real person or just a character manufactured for our humor? Funniest part of this episode for me was when Jenn (or was it Hali) asked Joe if Rodney is smart. The look on his face was f-ing priceless.
I am not a fan of the merge so soon after new tribes have been formed. What was the point of going 3 tribes to 2 to 1 so quickly? Why not just 3 to 1?
Is Yahoo woman going to known as Golden Shower girl at work now? Fat guy should have gone for it, I want a hook-up. He isn’t doing better in the real world.
Perhaps I have been drinking too much, but the strategy of some players is beyond me.
Will – Just flying all over the place – Joining a alliance of 5 by yourself seems suicidal
The two WC’s who joined the BC’s, once again WHY? You are outnumbered by a bunch, the BC’s have the stronger guys. Smart move to me would be WC/NC alliance, start eliminating the strong BC’s and then adjust at some point to get rid of Joe .Carolyn and Kicker seemed to have made a big mistake.
I also have a bone to pick with the producers. The showing of the Hali vote may have too much influence in the future. It was the confirmation of Will’s loyalty. However, actual vote had no bearing on the outcome. Why was it shown? Other episodes have not shown certain votes. I think all votes should be shown, no hiding of votes. Be consistent. So, I am being a bit hypocritical here. I think all vote should be shown, but following Survivor tradition where all votes are not shown, Will’s vote which had no bearing on who was booted, but has a bearing on he treated by the tribe, should not have been shown.
Dang, I got all caught up in Survivor talk and forgot to wish Fish a happy vacation. I have not been to Vegas in 20 years, so much different now, plus I never took my family there (did not have one back then). I really hate family vacations, but, as they say, it is for the kids. Hopefully this helps you get Father of the Year votes.
Such great comments. I am honored…
hathor: Thanks! I’m glad you dig them. I guess there’s so much downtime around camp people there’s not much else to do than each other’s hair. It looks like Hali is doing everyone’s hair, and then there’s not enough time to do hers, as she always looks a mess… And yes, Jenn is in trouble. I totally glossed over the fact the BC/WC banded together to try to vote her out. Doesn’t look like that’s changing. RealitySteve actuall emailed me after the episode (he’s a big Survivor fan, BTW) to discuss Jenn’s tenuous standing. And OMG, Rodney could be used to sell baby bottles with his pout…
erica: Good point. Another thing I didn’t think about while viewing the show (Vegas really had me off my game!). I guess they didn’t want to piss off a strong player if their plan failed…? IDK, what do you think?
susie: You must feel like such a fish out of water! What’s funny is that he’s obviously doing his take on “murica,” but he couldn’t even get that right! Stupid rednecks are so precious, aren’t they…?
doc: I agree on the burnout. I just think we had such high expectations and now we’re being let down. When the pendulum is supposed to swing high, it ends up swinging very low too… And yeah, I think I fell into a bromance with Joe on that expression… Yeah, what’s up with the pointless tribe swap!? What great television that would have been if they showed (pixilated, of course) Shirin peeing on Dan’s foot. Even if it wasn’t necessary, that was a moment missed by a Survivor producer in camp. I’m sure if a former producer from The Bachelor worked on Survivor, we’d have seen it… Will just seems too “deer in the headlights” on the gameplay aspect. I expected more after his flip on Vince. And perfect explanation of how to play the game when saying the 2 WC should have gone to the NC side. I think they’re doomed now, unless they think Carolyn’s idol will be a game-changer… I get your point on the reveal of Will’s vote, but maybe it was just one of the first votes selected? And I know they must reorder the votes in the urn based on dramatic impact (for both the viewers and the contestants) so I guess they just thought it was a dramatic moment they wanted to create. Know what I mean? It’s their show, they can do what they want… And a big thanks for the “Daddy shout-out!” I try to be a good one, but it’s tough some times. If I ever revealed what my personal life was really like, many would be amazed my family been’s able to hold it together for so long. Not saying we’re special, by any means, we just have a very unique situation at my place. Ooooh, secrets…!!!
Thanks again, folks. Loving all your comments!
Yes, it looks like Jenn is in trouble. I am just hoping that the greatest group of contestants ever, continues in their mind-blowing idiot decisions. From previews, perhaps Rodney makes another stupid move. (but why should we believe misleading previews)
Perhaps Carolyn and Kicker, remember that that they are smart and figure out that (4 + 2) > 5. We may have learned that in 3rd grade. This formula ignores Will, I am
guessing that he can be persuaded to vote for Malcolm who is not even in this season.
Good luck with the family, I also have a wacky situation at my house. My kids are older than yours, but the sacrifices are worth it. I may write a rant about my family in another post.
Hey Mr. Fish,
Hope you didn’t get too “Nipple” and dimed in Vegas. Yes, poor Jenn. Getting poked in the coochie as she clung to the stiff pole. Sorry! Anyway, good episode. Poor Shirin. Am I the only one who thinks she actually kind of looks like a Howler Monkey? You are right, Joe is Malcom 2.0. I’m going to go out on a limb and root for Dan to win. Someone has to! And am I wrong or do they give the contestants tons more food this season? It seems like they get a food reward every time they do anything…
doc: Don’t know why, but I just think that Jenn will survive this week. Maybe you’re right and Tyler and Carolyn can convince NC to flop back. Vote for Malcolm… good one! And yeah, I think there’s a lot of folks with crazy family situations, but you know you’re own always seems the craziest…
kinb: There you are, girl! Yeah, a day does’t go by without me seeing some nipples, so I can’t complain about that. My big gambling excursion was playing poker at Wynn and getting up from the table down only $6. I usually lose it all, so I felt like a winner this time! And way to go with all the sexual innuendo in your comment. I like to see that! Howler Monkey? Hmm…yes, now I see it… I’m not a fan of Dan winning, but you never know how things switch up at the end.
So here’s my big question: Now that RealitySteve posted the link to the returning players being asked to come back on a future season, should I openly discuss it, or get through this season? I know some people don’t like any kind of spoilers in Survivor, so I’m conflicted… Let me know your thoughts, everyone. I’ll tweet my request too.
Talk to you guys in a few days.
Fish
I like spoilers.