SURVIVOR: WC vs BC vs NC – 3/18/15

And it’s time for another Immunity Challenge! And once again, it’s a multi-stage obstacle course that will favor the strength of the new Escameca tribe. I don’t need to break down the whole challenge, but it essentially involves dragging a sled through a course with pots on it, placing the posts on stands, and then one person smashing them with a wrecking ball. (OMG, did you guys see what Patrick did to Miley?)

And sure enough, the strength of Escameca is obvious as they take a commanding lead and get to the wrecking ball stage first. Dan mans the ball, since we all know he’s comfortable with swinging balls. (Actually, maybe that’s Max…?) And without too much drama, or incompetence, Dan makes swift work of the pots and destroys them before Nagarote even reaches the wrecking ball stage. The “Sierra Swing Vote” drama is safe for a few more days…

But, things are not looking so hot at Nagarote, who’ll join JP at Tribal tonight. And while that may be bad news for some, it’s evidently good news for Max, who is eager to “change the dynamic” of his tribe and get rid of someone. Not sure if he thinks he’s in a position to vote out one of the old NC players, or if he’s ready to “solve a problem like Shirin-a” or maybe he’s gonna quit? Can’t say, but it looks like someone is going to be blindsided tonight.

Returning to camp (Day 14), Max confirms he’s ready to start playing the game, because “blindsiding and double-crossing” is what he signed on for. He compliments the tribe on how they fought to the end, but then shows us how much of an Uberfan he is, even knowing which astrological sign produced the most winners. Jenn is all too eager to mock him for his “depth of knowledge” of Survivor, as she confesses his expertise is kinda weird.

Now, I don’t rail on anyone for their beliefs, but I’m going to. Astrology, to me, is like religion. Something for people to believe in that really doesn’t have a big impact on the way things go. There’s no universal force guiding us, there’s no cosmic energy dictating our decisions. I just think people are way too eager to give up control of their lives to a “higher being” or state of consciousness. By all means, believe what you wanna believe, but don’t tell us that Capricorns are the most likely winner because of their psychic make-up. Just stop.

And that’s coming from a Pisces, who’s a natural chameleon, so, duh, we’d be the best players…

Later, Hali and Jenn are off together discussing what their strategy is, which is essentially:

-stick with Will
-try to get Kelly’s vote
-keep Max around for challenges
-vote out Shirin, because she talks about pooping

With little time left before Tribal, Shirin and Max pull Kelly aside to wrap up her vote. They discuss taking out Will, because he’s terrible at challenges, but, Max adds that he wants it to be a blindside, since that’s what he signed up for, baby. Shirin’s doing her best “Shirin” impersonation, acting a little too excitable, something I feel is only going to increase as the days wear on, and as they break, Shirin and Max think they’ve won her over.

Shirin informs Carolyn about “the plan” and after replying that she’s on board, she confesses to us that she’s actually the real swing vote, not Kelly, and tonight may be the moment to pull a giant blindside on one of her old WC mates, who annoy her to no end. Hmmm, things are getting interesting… The next few scenes are all about Carolyn revealing to Jenn she’s not “with” Max and Shirin, much to Jenn’s delight, and so with “Maxin” off strategizing some more – and feeling very comfortable in their position, apparently – the other 5 players discuss aligning and taking out whoever’s most annoying. It’s a Survivor horserace between the two and neither horse is wearing underwear…

They head off to Tribal and when Jeff starts by asking Shirin how it was when the new tribe arrived at camp, she tells him they really “found their unity,” to which Jeff supposedly – according to Shirin – makes a face. He’s dumbfounded, because he didn’t, and the rest of the tribe is perplexed at Shirin’s observation, and once again, she’s proving she’s just a nutbag when relating to other people. I think we need Bill Lumbergh from Office Space here right now…

“Uh, yeah, so if you could just pack up your stuff and move it to that end of camp, yeah, or maybe down the beach a little…that’d be great…”

She’s obviously totally unaware she comes across this way, or maybe everyone who works at Yahoo is a nutjob and accepts her unconditionally. I’d love to hear from someone at Yahoo right now that knows her and can fill us in on how she’s perceived. So…if that can happen, yeah, that’d be great…

Jeff moves over to a sane contestant and asks Kelly about the unity Shirin touched on. Kelly replies they’ve definitely bonded a bit, but there has been some “stuff” that’s gone down at camp. This elicits a laugh from her and others, to which Jeff asks why, and I’m thinking she just doesn’t wanna admit that Shirin announces when she has to go take a dump. But, Max steps in and tells Jeff the only reason his question is humorous is because of the “unique situation this tribe is in.” Namely, they’re a mess of a tribe, similar to previous tribes who played like they were from the Island of Misfit Toys.

Jenn, once again, finds Max’s knowledge of past seasons amusing, and tells Jeff she finds it strange that Max and Shirin are SO into the history of the game. Jeff obviously doesn’t want to throw shade on his own show, so he gets Maxin to admit they’re both superfans and there’s nothing wrong with that. Aren’t we all a little addicted to the show? I’d rather see people like Max, who has a deep appreciation for Survivor, than someone like Julie from B vs. W 2, who quits when the game gets a little too tough for her. And I don’t mean to pick on Julie, but why couldn’t she be the one doing nude dishes by the shore instead of Shirin?!

Back to Tribal, and Max reveals his Type A personality, and Shirin’s obsessive personality traits may be a little strange to some, to which he divulges to Jeff that he needs to schedule his own “mandatory relaxation” time, lest he go on-and-on like an Energizer Bunny, which also makes the tribe chuckle.

The discussion then moves on to the vote and how it may go down, and it looks like everyone’s in agreement that it’ll be a blindside. And since no one wants to reveal too much, Jeff asks Shirin if a blindside will help this tribe (since they’re clearly outmatched physically against Escameca) to which she replies that sometimes a blindside can cut the fat out of a tribe. No pun intended… I think she’s finally realizing she’s not in the power position she thought she was in, and Tribal is NOT the time to be finding that out. It’s time to vote…

Carolyn obviously doesn’t need to play her idol but Max wants to prove he’s an oddball again…

“Hey Jeff, hold up, bro.”

He reaches down into his bag and…pulls up nothing.

“I just always wanted to say that…”

What a douche. Jeff’s reaction says it all…

“Okay…”

So THIS is when Shirin should speak up and say, “Jeff, why’d you make that face?” because he was definitely making a face just then, but, thankfully, she keeps her OCD mouth shut for once…

Jeff reads the votes:

Will
Will
Max
Max
Max
Max

Boom goes the… (“Hey Fish, hold up, bro…”) No, I shall not hold up!
…dynamite.

Shirin’s stunned look says it all as she’s completely shocked it was Max (or it wasn’t her). Not sure if she even considered Max going home, and since WE didn’t get any real discussion of voting out Max – since everything was looking like they wanted to keep him around for challenge strength – it appears to be a blindside against us viewers also. So, I guess they still wanna hear about her bowel movements? Weird… Who knows, maybe Max’s crazy antics at Tribal swayed the vote? Probably not, but this whole situation reminds me of what I’m always championing, say it out loud with me…

Keep your tribe strong at the beginning!

Especially when your tribe is already outmatched on paper. Now, does anyone not see the Escameca tribe just running off win after win until the merge? I sure don’t. Can’t wait to see if that prediction comes true since I’d be stunned if Nagarote can win ANYTHING from this point on. Good luck, children…

And next week’s tease reveals a new bromance brewing between Boston Rod and Joaquin Dead, which doesn’t sit well with the former Blue Collar tribe members. Looks like Rodney is now in their sights. But, we all know this is a big misdirect, because there’s no way Escameca is losing any challenges to the Na-ga-do-its (think Dana Carvey as George Bush)…

So, I was going to reveal my list of players who I’d like to see return, but with the 2-hour episode, and it being March Madness and Notre Dame is only up by 2 with less than a minute to play, I think I’ll put it off till next week. Apologies, but this episode in particular took a long time to get through.

Please comment/tweet/email anything you like. Questions, corrections, complaints, lambaste me for being an astrological non-believer, an atheist, exhibiting amorality? Do tell me your thoughts. I’ll reply to every comment personally, because I appreciate all your support. Now, it’s time to watch some basketball. My team is UCLA, but I’m afraid that may produce a few negative comments/emails/tweets. S’okay…at least they got in. Good luck to whichever your team is. God, I love March Madness…

And finally, as I continue to search for another “regular” job, I will continue to be one of your conduits to Survivor. However, if anyone knows of a writing assignment that might benefit from my abilities (if you call what I do, that), please email me at the address below. I consider this column to be one of my best “networks,” so please don’t take offense. Cheers!

Forever swimming upstreamingly,
Fish

Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/BF_TheFish
AIM: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com or Bryan Fischer